Full Circle of Life
by majorfaith
Summary: P/B story with a little J/B. AU and OOC. OC in later chapters. PAUL plays a lead role in the story. It begins in their teen yrs but will progress through their lives. Renee throws Bella a curve ball when she leaves Charlie, taking Bella with her. When she moves back, she moves into a life of wolves, imprints and possible triangles. She will choose!
1. Chapter 1

Note from the Author:

Those of you who were on JBNP and read my story A Bay Window View and it's sequel, 'Nurture' know that I have always been Team Jacob…Team wolf all the way! I have always refused to read anything but J/B stories until I read Revival by tonyamic10. She made me fall in love with her version of Paul Lahote. She actually made me love Jacob and Seth again too, but loving Paul's character was something I never expected in a million years.

Anyway, after reading Revival, I decided that I had to try to write a Paul/Bella/Jacob story of my own. Be patient with me because this is all new to me. I am totally writing out of my comfort zone.

As far as BWV goes, I wrote it years ago but as I post it on I have been editing and revising it a lot so it has been time consuming. I had to take a little break from it so I haven't posted a chapter of that story in nearly three weeks… I am sorry about that but be assured, I am not abandoning that story.

My daughter is mad at me for writing this new story… she says that she doesn't even know me anymore and that I am a traitor. I told her that I still love Jake but one of my most recent favorite writers made me fall in love with Paul in her story and I had to try writing about him myself.

I hope that you enjoy!

I have images to go with both of my stories on my blog… so check it out! As the stories progress new images will be posted.

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- majorfaith

In this story:

*PAUL WILL HAVE A LEAD ROLL IN THIS STORY!

*THERE WILL BE IMPRINTING IN THIS STORY!

*THERE WILL BE DESCRIPTIVE SEX IN THE STORY!

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ANY OF THOSE THINGS, PLEASE DON'T READ THIS STORY. I KNOW THAT IT CAN BE STRESSFUL TO READ THINGS THAT YOU DON'T LIKE… ALL OF US WOLF GIRLS TEND TO GET SENSITIVE AND PROTECTIVE OF OUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS… I TOTALLY GET THAT!

In the beginning of this story Bella will turn sixteen, Jake is 8 months younger than her and Paul is fixing to turn nineteen.

I named this fanfic 'Full Circle Of Life' because I think that this story will end when they are all much older. I'm not sure if there will be a sequel and I'm not sure how long or short this story will be. A lot of things are still up in the air in my mind.

I hope you take a chance and read this story. I am having fun writing it… I will begin posting chapters on A Bay Window View again soon. I just had to take a break and let my creative juices flow in another direction for a little bit.

Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy the ride!

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The blog is called: Majorfaith Fanfiction

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER ONE

'The Impact of Young Love'

Chapter One

Bella Swan was born in Forks, Washington and lived with her parents Charlie and Renee Swan until she was fifteen years old. One day in July that year was when her world was turned completely upside down. Bella and her best friend Jacob Black, only eight months behind her in age, feared they would be split apart forever.

Renee told Charlie that she was taking Bella to Jacksonville, Florida to live with her. Renee wanted a new start in a warmer place; she was tired of living with Charlie and she was tired of living in a cold, damp place. She refused to continue doing the same thing everyday. She let Charlie know that she felt he was holding her back from having the kind of life she deserved.

Renee said that there was more to life than the little town of Forks, Washington and she was going to see it; she was going to start a new life with Freedom and excitement far away from there. Renee had a degree in Nursing and now that Bella was older she scheduled a job interview, interviewed well and was offered a position at a teaching was happening.

Renee would be working in an ER, which was perfect in her mind because it would be fast paced and full of action. Charlie was crushed, more because he would be separated from Bella for months at a time, rather than the realization that he would be losing Renee. The poor guy didn't know what in the hell hit him, he woke up that morning thinking his life was just as it should be and then BAM…he felt like he had been punched in the gut by Renee. Bella was furious with Renee, she would miss her dad and Jacob so much and she didn't think she could ever make it in a new place without either of them in her life.

The night that Renee broke the news to Charlie, Bella was so angry that she called Jacob and told him that she was going to run, literally on foot, to La Push. She said that Charlie and Renee were fighting and she could not be in their house any longer. Jacob tried to change her mind but she said that she could not wait around for someone to pick her up, she was already running his way. Jacob got Billy to drive him as fast as he could until they found Bella about a mile away from her house on the main road. Jacob got out and told his dad that he would walk back to La Push with Bella, he said that it would give them some time to talk about things. Billy nodded and said, "Okay son. I will see you later." Jacob weekly smiled and his dad drove away.

Jacob had already explained to his dad what was going on with Bella's family. Billy was a very perceptive man and to Jacob it seemed his dad was not surprised at all. Jake briefly wondered about Billy's reaction, or lack there of, but he had to ignore the distraction and remember that his main focus was being strong for Bella. Jake loved Bella and he knew that this move was going to affect them both greatly.

Jacob and Bella held hands as they walked from Forks to La Push, which spoke volumes in itself. Jacob was perfectly content walking in silence with Bella, he knew that she needed to explore her own thoughts and feelings before she would be able to talk to him about them.

When they reached La Push Bella said that she wanted them to walk out to the beach and sit on their driftwood tree. It had become, 'Their Place' and they had spent a lot of time together there. They spent hours talking about anything and everything, sometimes they simply sat in a comfortable silence. Time seemed to always slip away from them, it seemed that all of a sudden they would realize it was getting dark and the temperature had already decreased rapidly near the water. Jacob always wrapped his arms around Bella to keep her warm; she had always been amazed at how he could keep her warm no matter how cold she got.

The fifteen year olds were best friends but Jake had always had a crush on Bella and he knew that at times Bella showed the same feelings for him. They were young though and neither of them had been brave enough to cross the friendship line.

They walked out to the beach, hand in hand, just as Bella had requested. It was late afternoon and they were sitting on their driftwood tree. Bella whispered. "Jake, I can't go home tonight!" Jake nodded knowingly. He already knew that this request was coming and he had already figured out a way to make it happen. Billy loved Bella as a daughter. She was his best friend's daughter and his son's best friend. Jacob knew that both of their fathers secretly hoped the teen's relationship would turn into something more serious as they got older. When Jake talked to his dad earlier, Billy told a fifteen year old Jake that Bella could stay in Rachel's room since she was at Leah's house. Billy told Jake that he would assure Charlie that it was fine for Bella to stay and that he would bring her home after lunch the following day. Billy had also told Jake that he knew Bella wouldn't want to be separated from him that night and he didn't have a problem with that as long as Jake remembered to treat her like the special girl that she was. Jake knew what his dad meant…he was no dummy. He could never imagine treating Bella with anything other than the respect she deserved, but he had to admit to himself that having her with him all night made him a little nervous. He still loved Bella as his best friend but over the last several months he had been thinking of her in another way also, more than just a best friend.

Jake whispered back to Bella. "Okay Bells. You can stay. Rachel is staying with Leah tonight so her room is free. Dad already said that you could spend the night if you wanted to and he said that he would call Charlie and let him know that you will be fine. He said that he could take you home after lunch tomorrow." Jake knew Bella and he could tell that she was happy about that.

When they went into the house Billy had already fixed them each a burrito with lettuce, tomato and sour cream on top. Bella only ate a few bites before tears started welling up in her eyes and she asked to be excused. I left the table with her and asked her if she wanted to take a shower. She said yes so I set everything out for her and while she was showering I went into Rachel's dresser drawer and took out a tank top and matching pajama bottoms and laid them just inside the bathroom door for Bella. I said, "I'm laying some clothes here for you. I promise I'm not being a creeper." She replied, "Thank you Jake. You are crazy and you are a creeper." He smiled because he knew that Bella was being her old self, even if it was only for a moment.

While he waited he thought about what Billy had said. He thought that Bella would want to be alone with him all night. He wondered if his dad was right; his dad was rarely wrong about anything. Bella hadn't mentioned anything about it but he hadn't forgotten that his dad had a sixth sense about things. Jacob had to ask himself how he felt about that, her possibly sharing his room or even his bed with him. He knew he loved Bella but they hadn't even spoken words like going out or boyfriend/girlfriend. They were just Jake and Bella, wherever one was the other was close by. The were inseparable. He had to be honest though, ever since his fifteenth birthday he had been having a lot of dreams about Bella and they were dreams of them doing things that he had only heard the older boys on the reservation talk about. Paul was the biggest talker; Jake couldn't imagine that at eighteen years old Paul could have really been with as many girls and done as many things with them as he claimed. 'What a man whore.' Jake thought.

His mind went back to Bella. He figured that whenever Bella came out Jake would go in for his shower. A few minutes later that is exactly what happened. Bella got a cookie and a glass of milk and Jacob went to shower. While he was in there he couldn't help thinking about the fact that Bella had been standing exactly where he was standing less than five minutes ago… wearing absolutely no clothes. He had to shake the thought or he would be in a mess. He turned the shower all the way to cold. Soon he was finished his shower and he got out, dried off and brushed his teeth.

Bella had just finished her cookie. Jake asked, "I bet you didn't have a tooth brush did you?" She shook her head no. He said, "I own nothing that I wouldn't share with you Bells. You are welcome to use mine if you want. It is the blue one in the bathroom." She smiled sweetly and said, "Thanks Jake." She disappeared to brush and was back in about three minutes.

Bella looked sad so Jake wondered if she was thinking of something other than the obvious. "I know you are upset about your mom making you move but is there anything else on your mind?" She looked around and didn't see Billy. She said, "I'll be okay Jake. Well, I guess I should go to Rachel's room now." The statement sounded more like a question to Jake. He reluctantly said, "I guess Bells." Then he thought to add, "Dad will be going to bed within the next twenty minutes." She looked at him and he could have sworn that he saw a glimmer in her eyes that was full of hope. She kissed his cheek and said, "Good Night Jake." He replied, "Night Bells." Then, she was gone.

Jake poured himself a large glass of water with ice cubes in it and carried it with him to his room. He wondered if he would see Bella before morning. He hoped that he would.

Thirty minutes later she opened his door without knocking. She tip toed a few steps into his bedroom and whispered, "Jake. Are you asleep?" Jake came to the door wearing nothing but his boxer briefs and she looked surprised. Jake didn't have a bashful bone in his body and hadn't even considered covering up. He quickly apologized and reached in his drawer to get a pair of sport shorts. Bella said, "It's okay Jake. If that is the way you sleep it's fine with me." Jake replied, "No. It's okay Bells! I'll wear shorts tonight." He remembered that he had promised his dad to be respectful. She smiled sweetly, relieved that he didn't mind.

Bella asked the obvious question, "Can I sleep with you tonight Jake. I am so sad and I don't want to be alone. I feel like I am being torn in half and without my other half how will I survive. Jake you are my other half… I need you, we have never been apart…ever." She began to sob so he picked her up with ease and carried her over to his queen sized bed. She was as light as a feather to him. Ever since Jake had turned fifteen he had been growing at a remarkable pace. He had grown a foot and a half and had bulked up so much that he had to buy all new clothes. His muscles were ripped like he had been spending time in the gym everyday. The truth was that Jake had never even seen the inside of one of those gyms. Jake knew that Bella had noticed the changes in him and he knew that she liked it when he wrapped her up in his strong arms.

Bella was still crying. She asked, "How could my mom do this?" I don't understand how she could do this to me and my dad. She is the most selfish person I have ever known. She is only thinking of herself and I don't know how I will ever be able to forgive her for this." Jake mindlessly rubbed over her soft brown hair, it was glowing in the dim light and to him it felt like silk. He told her that it would all be okay and that he would always be there for her no matter where she lived.

Jake pulled Bella up to him, he situated her to where her back was against his strong chest and his arms wrapped her tiny body making her feel more protected than she had ever felt in her entire life. They laid there like that for a minute and then she spoke into the darkness. She said, "Jake, you know that I love you, don't you?" Jake nodded and told her that he felt exactly the same way. She continued, "I know that we are only fifteen but Jake, I know adults who don't have what we do. I have always thought that…" Jake's reply was, "Shhh. I know Bells…don't say it, it will only make this harder." She shook her head in disagreement and he felt a tear fall on top of the muscle she was resting her face on. He felt his heart begin race. Bella turned around and said, "I have to Jake. You have to know how I feel about us. I'm leaving and I have to say how I feel." She was face to face with him now, their noses touching as they shared the same air. Jake felt that sharing the same air created an even stronger bond between them, as if they were becoming one in that instant. He waited.

Bella said, "Jake…its just that I always thought we would…you know…we would lose our virginity together. I thought that eventually we would start dating and naturally share all of our first experiences together. I'm so afraid of what this move will do to us." Jake replied, "I'm sorry Bells. Don't be scared. I will always love you and nothing will ever change that." Jake was saying these words to Bella but he was well aware of the fact that everything about this was scaring the hell out of him as well and he was pissed off that Renee was doing this to them.

Jake placed his hands at the base of Bella's neck and kissed her softly on the forehead, nose and both cheeks saying a single word between each kiss. He said, "I (kiss) Love (kiss) You (kiss) Bells (kiss)." He couldn't help himself, his love for her combined with the teenage hormones in the room were going to cause his hands to take flight. At first he hesitated for a moment but as soon as she sensed it she placed both of her hands on his shoulders and began to rub the soft skin she found there, noticing his recent strength. Jake's hands began to rub her back ever so lightly, moving down her sides to feel her tiny waist and quickly running his hand over her bottom. He noticed that even though her breathing had picked up a lot, she had not tensed at all. She wanted to feel his touch as much as he wanted to touch her.

Bella whispered, "It's okay if you touch me Jake. I want you to." His heart began to race as he slid his shaky hands over her small, but very firm breasts still covered by only her tank top. He heard her breath catch and he apologized. In a breathy voice she replied, "No Jake. I promise, it's okay." He said, "You can touch me too…if you want to." At first she rubbed over his strong back, massaged his muscled up chest and ran her hands over his strong shoulders sliding down until her hand landed on his.

Bella got up the nerve she need to graze her hand over his sport shorts, finding more of an arousal than she ever expected. Jake's voice caught, not expecting her to go that far but glad that she felt comfortable enough to do it. She whispered, "Jake, I would never even think of doing this with anyone other than you. I trust you Jake. Everything with you feels natural. I don't know how else to explain it." Jake moved in and lightly kissed her lips several times before she parted them and allowed him to deepen the kiss. As they kissed their hands roamed freely, never making skin to skin contact, with the exception of their backs and his chest. The electricity that was caused from touching was stronger than they ever expected it to be. Two kids… wanting, needing and desiring each other.

Jake slowed them down and whispered, "Bella…Bells." She backed away enough to look into his face. He said, "Bella. I want this… you have no idea how much I want this, but I think that we should wait. I could go all the way with you right now and never regret it, but I think we are doing this before you are ready. I think that if you weren't leaving, we wouldn't push this so far, so fast. We just had our first kiss. I think our firsts should come one at a time, don't you? I think we are rushing because we are scared of being apart, afraid that we might lose each other. When I have sex with you Bella for the first time, I want us to be excited about our future together. I want it to make you happier than you have ever been. If we go all the way tonight, you won't be happy…you will probably cry when we are finished because you will be scared we are losing each other. Let's wait Bella. It will happen for us… I promise!" Bella said, "I'm scared it won't… if we don't tonight we might not get to be each others firsts Jake and that would break my heart." Jake kissed her forehead in the dark and told her how much he loved her, how that would never change and begged her not to worry. They agreed that it was best to wait for many reasons.

Jake was careful not to make any promises to her that he might not be able to keep but in his mind, she would always be it for him. He felt like it would be impossible for him to love anyone else…ever. Bella cuddled up in Jake's arms and they slept soundly together until the sun shined through his bedroom window the next morning.

As soon as they opened their eyes, they realized that Bella was still wrapped up in Jake's arms. They began to recall all of the activities that had transpired the night before. As soon as their recollections were clear they shared their second kiss, this time it was a sweet little peck on the lips. Their relationship had definitely changed and although they weren't really talking about it, they were both completely aware. What was surprising to Jake was that Bella didn't seem embarrassed in the least when they got up. He figured that after all of the touching that went on the previous night, she would be acting a little bashful at least. He was thankful that she wasn't though; he didn't want anything coming between them and he really didn't know how he would be able to handle adding another stressful conversation to the fire of conversations they were having.

They decided to go to the store and buy two calendars. They were going to mark in their calendars all of Bella's planned trips to Forks. She had overheard her parents fighting about it and she stayed at her house yesterday long enough to hear the outcome before she left to see Jake.

When they got back they marked the dates and Jake realized that Bella was actually going to be coming back a lot more than he had expected. At this point he was thankful for any time he would be able to have with her.

She would be back Thanksgiving Day/her birthday weekend, one week during winter break, possibly a weekend in February, one week during spring break and six weeks during summer break. He hoped they could handle it. 'It will be like she's going away to a boarding school or college or something.' He thought to himself.

He made sandwiches for them and his dad for lunch knowing that as soon as they finished eating, Billy would take them to Charlie's. Renee was wanting to be on the road by 3pm so they could drive part of the way. The closer 3pm came the madder Jake got. Billy noticed this and he asked Jake if he could speak to him alone for a minute. Jake said, "I'll be right back Bells." Bella nodded and watched them walk out of the room. They went into Billy's room and Jake sat on his dad's bed, ready to listen to his father.

Billy said, "Son..." Jake looked into his face knowing that he was showing his dad every emotion that he was experiencing. Billy continued, "I know that you are angry son, but you will have time to deal with all of that as soon as Bella is gone. Jake, you have to put that young girl first. You are going to have to man up here and be what she needs you to be. You are her best friend." Jake's head was hanging by that time but as soon as his dad said, 'best friend' Jake's head popped up letting a tear slip down his cheek.

Jake began, "I realize this dad. She is the best friend that I have ever had and I would do anything in the world for her. She is more than a best friend to me though dad and this is almost too much to bear. I'm telling you…I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and I am so pissed off that I swear I could kick Sam's ass, no problem." Billy said, "I'm sorry son. I hate this is happening to you kids but I'm afraid it is not going to change so you are going to have to find a way to make the best of it. Bella needs you to be strong for her. She is moving to a place where she has never been. She doesn't know a sole there and she is so mad at her mom that she won't even have her to talk to. She will be all alone in her world…at least you will have your friends and family Jake. Just try to remember that son and do what you can to help make this as easy for her as possible, don't make her worry about you on top of everything else."

Jake hung his head down again. He felt ashamed that his dad had to put all of that into prospective for him, but he was glad that he had. Billy said, "Jake, I know that you love her and I understand your pain. Once she is gone, you can scream, kick and punch things but you'll have to save it…just for a few hours." Billy patted Jake on the back and squeezed his shoulder lovingly. Jake said, "Thanks dad. I'm glad you're my dad." Billy smiled and wheeled himself out of the room, leaving Jake to collect himself.

By 2pm they were at Charlie's. Jake went upstairs with Bella and sat silently in her rocking chair while she finished packing the last of her things. When she finished she sat on her bed and Jake walked over to sit beside her. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and held her while she sobbed. It was breaking his heart to see her this way. He knew that she was crying for them but he also knew that she was crying for her dad. Jake could only imagine what this must be like for her, thankfully Billy had given him a new prospective on everything. He was still pissed but he wasn't as caught up in his own pain at the moment and he accepted the fact that as soon as Bella was gone it would be his turn to handle his feeling his way. He considered different ways to relieve his anger. He thought maybe he would go kick Paul's ass… he was sure that man whore deserved it for something, maybe sleeping with some other guys girlfriend or something as equally shitty.

Jake carried all of Bella's bags downstairs and loaded them into Renee's car while she spent time saying good-bye to her dad. He glanced over towards them and Charlie had her wrapped in his arms and Bella's shoulders were contracting with each of her sobs. It was very difficult for him to witness; Jake's fury with Renee grew and he couldn't help but glare at her for doing this to all of them. The minute Jake's eyes met with Renee's she turned her face, she had no backbone and Jake didn't respect her as a person anymore. Jake was certain that Renee knew exactly how selfish she was being and how much her actions were hurting everyone around her.

Jake opened Bella's car door and put her pillow inside so that she could rest during the trip. He laid her Iphone on top of the pillow along with her ear buds so she could listen to her music. He had also laid her book in the car. She was reading 'Mocking Jay' from the Hunger Games Series. He imagined the pages of her book would be tear stained by the time she finally made it to Jacksonville.

Bella finished her good-byes with Charlie and then hugged Billy. Billy whispered something meaningful into Bella's ear it seemed, which caused her to turn and look at Jacob. Billy had a way with Bella and Jake hoped that whatever his dad had said to her would somehow help her, even if it was just in a small way. She walked over to the car where Jake waited and hugged him. Jake rocked her side and side telling her over and over that he loved her and she was the best friend he would ever have. He told her not to worry, that everything would be fine and he would always love her and be here for her. He was unsure of what this move might mean for them but he thought the more positive thoughts he had the better chance his hopes and dreams for their future would come true.

Bella got in the car and she started crying again like she did in his bed last night. He couldn't help himself, he bent down and picked her up with ease and held her in a cradle. He place tons of kisses all over her face until she started laughing and then he kissed her on the mouth, she parted her lips and he deepened the kiss right there in front of their parents. At that point he didn't care. He knew that Charlie thought a lot of him and would understand, his dad probably knew there was a lot more going on between the two of them than Jake had led on and Jake could care less about what Renee thought.

Jake finally kissed Bella on the nose, sat her down in her seat and asked her to call him and let him know how she's doing, he wanted to know that she was safe. She said that she would call when they got to their hotel that night and she would text before that. He nodded, put on his best attempt of a smile, glared at Renee and then ran as fast as he could back to La Push. He needed to be alone in his thoughts for a while.

Well ladies. I really enjoyed writing this chapter.

I hope that ya'll enjoyed reading it!

These kids are too young to be experiencing so many intense feelings

but in the world of wolves, childhood barely exists.

I wonder if Jake and Bella will be each other's first one day?

I guess that my fingers will figure it out, I still don't know exactly

where this story is going.

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Thanks for your support!

Hugs for all my wolf girls!


	2. Chapter 2

The first chapters in this story are just facts and filler to paint a picture and move you forward. Bare with me!

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWO

'Counting Down the Days'

Bella and Renee made it to Jacksonville safely but it was not a pleasant trip. Bella argued with Renee for thirty minutes, completely ignored her for the next hour, and then sleep would take her body over for an hour before the exact cycle would repeat itself again. It was a miserable trip and both she and Renee thanked God when it had ended.

Renee had rented a very nice beach front condo located on the north side of the beach and although Bella loved it, sometimes the beach made her miss Jacob so much it was almost unbearable. Still, she never wanted to forget about him, she would rather be sad for the rest of her life than to forget Jake. She was back in school by this time so she was completely focused on school work and then she would spend the rest of her day in her room or on the beach thinking of Jacob.

The calendar she and Jake had filled out had been hanging on her bedroom wall for weeks now and she had been marking down the days until Thanksgiving weekend. She loved the calendar because Jake had marked the days she would be back in Forks on hers and she had marked the same days on his. Jake had also written the sweetest letter ever for her on the back page of the calendar. Bella had read the PS that Jake had added at least 500 times since she left Forks. It read: PS I will never forget last night Bella and I will be waiting here for you until you come back home.

She knew that she would cherish the calendar always.

Weeks of going to school, studying, grocery shopping, cooking and fighting with Renee went by. Bella had been texting back and forth with Jake every single day since she left. It was obvious how much he still loved her and she knew exactly how she felt about him - her feelings never wavered. Even though all of those things were apparent, she was never completely honest because she omitted talking to Jake about how deeply depressed she was. She was only making it by keeping busy with school, house duties and homework. She hadn't socialized with a single person outside of school and she honestly did very little conversing with anyone at school. She had found comfort in getting lost in a very large sea of students.

Bella was going to fly in to see her dad and Jacob for her Thanksgiving holiday. She had to wait 31 more days before her flight would leave. So far the days had gone by more quickly than she expected and that was a small blessing in her eyes.

November 25th finally came, her flight date, so it was time to go to her dads for Thanksgiving. Bella was ecstatic! She missed her dad so much more than she had originally thought she would and she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in Jake's arms again. She had not gone one day without thinking about the night she slept in Jake's bed wrapped in his warm, strong arms.

Renee had been dating a minor league baseball player by the name of Phil for the past month and because she had to work at the hospital the day Bella was to fly out, he had to drive Bella to the airport. She figured it was just like her mom not to put her daughter first. Phil and Bella said a quick good-bye at the airport and she was off.

When Bella landed at the airport she was so happy because she immediately noticed that Charlie had let Jacob come with him to pick her up. When she saw them both standing in the waiting area at the airport, she felt her face stretch into the biggest smile she'd ever worn. Jake looked so handsome and she couldn't wait to make contact with him. All three of them ran towards each other and she grabbed them both around their necks at the same time. They picked her up off her feet and she had never been happier to be anywhere in all her life. She loved and missed them both so much that her feeling of happiness at the sight of them was indescribable.

On their way toward home, Charlie caught her up on all of the latest town gossip and Jake caught her up on Billy and all the guys including the only girl from La Push she knew… Leah. They all lived on the Reservation near Jake. For some reason she sensed something from Jake that made her feel extremely uneasy. When Jake talked about Leah he had a lighter tone in his voice and he only had positive things to say about her. Jake had never really cared for Leah before, so Bella was surprised that she was picking up that particular vibe from him.

Come to find out, Charlie had started dating Sue Clearwater right after she moved away so Jake, Leah and Seth had been spending a lot of time together. It started when Sue began hosting Sunday dinners at Charlie's house. Jake and Billy were obviously had standing invitations and Leah and Seth, being Sue's children, were always there as well. They had all gotten to know each other through those dinners and from there they had become pretty tight.

Charlie, Bella and Jake decided to drive straight to the Black's house, and when they got there. Jake told Bella that he wanted to go for a walk on the beach, just the two of them. Bella was so happy that he wanted to spend some time alone with her. When they got down to the beach, Jake reached for Bella's hand. Walking with their hands intertwined, Jake said, "I've missed you so much Bella. Being away from you has been hell." Bella whispered, "I know Jake. I have never been so miserable in all of my life." Jake continued, "You know Bella. I would change all of this if I could, you are all I have ever wanted. I don't want to be with anyone else… I have never wanted that." Bella started to totally freak out. She thought to herself, 'Who said anything about being with anyone else. What is he thinking about?'

Bella immediately turned loose of Jake's hand. He said, "Please, Bella. Don't do that. This is killing me…please, let's just talk about this." Visibly upset Bella said, "Talk about what Jake? Is this about Leah? I can tell you care about her when I listen to you talk about her." Bella looked into his face and he looked into hers. He was amazed at how perceptive she was. She added, "Don't lie to me Jake. We have never lied to one another and I couldn't stand it if we started lying now." Jake tried to reach for Bella's hand again but she wasn't quite ready for that, she needed to ask him some questions. She asked, "Are you with Leah?" Jake said, "Of course not Bella! Before you left, after we shared our feelings with one another and things became more… you know, we got closer while we were together in my bed, I took that to mean that we had made an unspoken commitment, so the answer to your question is absolutely not. Leah knows how much you mean to me. She knows you have always been it for me. I have never kept how much I love you from anyone." Bella asked, "Then what Jake? Please, just tell me." Jacob answered. "Leah and I have been spending some time together, mostly with Seth around but we have taken some time to talk alone. I haven't asked her out and I don't have plans to, but talking to her got me thinking about where the lines were. We never really discussed that before you left. Talking is as far as it went with Leah though, I promise Bella…I promise you that with all of my heart." Bella had a tear sliding down her cheek and Jacob thumbed it away. He continued, "Don't cry Bella. I love you. I always have and I always will love you more than anything in the world – I can promise you that! I just don't think that we should promise each other that we won't _ever_ see anyone else. It isn't fair to either one of us Bella. Your dad says that you are not making friends in Jacksonville and I think that it is partly because you are spending your time worrying about us and missing what we had together. I know this Bella because you leaving made me feel the same way. If Sue and Charlie wouldn't have started dating , I wouldn't have started hanging out with Sue's kids; I would still be doing the same as you. After you left I spent almost a month in my bedroom or at the beach thinking of nothing but you. I know Bells…it sucks more than anything in the world, but right now we have no control. You will be sixteen in a couple days and in the summer I will be sixteen. It will be a while before we are old enough to live where we want to live and do what we want to do." Jake paused to find a reaction on Bella's face.

When she remained silent he continued, "Do you agree with me? Tell me what you are thinking Bells. If you want to draw lines, I will do it. I love you and I can wait… I plan on waiting anyway, lines or not. I just don't want it to suck the life out of you Bella. I don't want you to miss out on life because you are hiding in your room. It is a little easier for me because I have family around me and people I have known my entire life who care about me. You are in a place where you don't know anyone and you can't even talk to your mom because you are still so angry with her…understandably so. To have friends there, you are going to have to get out there and meet people." Jake turned Bella's face towards him so that he could look directly into her eyes. "Please, look at me and listen to me Bells. I love you baby… you are my best friend and the only girl I have ever wanted. This is so hard for me but I'm really trying to suggest what I think is best for us at this time in our lives. I can truthfully say that I don't see myself falling out of love with you – ever. Whether you are a million miles away or living back in Forks I will never stop loving you but we are going to be apart from one another right now and that is our reality; unfortunately we don't have a choice."

By this time Jake and Bella both had tears slipping down their cheeks. Bella shook her head back and forth in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. She began, "Jake, I know that you are right. Hearing the words come out of your mouth makes me so sad, but I have to be honest and let you know that I have thought about this also. I know in my mind that we are much to young for a long distance relationship but my heart doesn't agree. You are my best friend Jake and I want everything with you. I'm afraid to give up what we have because I am scared to death that time with go by, we will meet other people and we will never get this back. What we have is so true and so special that I'm sure that I could never find this with anyone other than you… I would be settling with anyone else Jake and I know that. I want to be your girlfriend. I want us to experience all of our firsts together… and all of our lasts. We haven't even been on our first real date Jake." Bella paused and Jake held her face in his hands. With his eyes squeezed together tightly he kissed her forehead. He whispered, "I know Bella. I'm scared too."

Jake was dying inside, he had known for a month that he was going to talk to Bella about all of this but now that he had mentioned it, he almost wished he wouldn't have. He and Leah had become good friends but she could never replace Bella, she could never be everything Bella was to him and he didn't want to let her or anyone else try.

Jake took Bella's hand and said, "Let's walk a little bit Bella." She nodded and they began walking down the beach in silence. It was a beautiful night. The moon was almost full and the light from it reflected off the water causing flickers of light with each wave that spilled over. The sky was clear so you could see an endless blanket of stars. It was a perfect night, with the exception of the tears that this conversation had caused them both to have.

Bella stopped and looked up into Jake's face. She said, "Jake, I agree. We shouldn't make a promise that we won't talk to other people right now." Jake felt as though his heart flipped over in his chest as he listened to the words escaping from her lips. Even though he was the one that had suggested this, somehow he felt like she was breaking up with him now. He immediately regretted the entire conversation but like Bella, his mind knew that it was the right decision for them both, especially for her. Jake looked down and shook his head a little. Bella said, "I don't want this either Jake, you know that I don't. It doesn't change my feelings for you though Jake. I still love you, you are still my best friend and I don't plan on letting us go. We just won't make this one promise to each other. Okay?" Jacob nodded and said, "Okay Bells. Let's just enjoy the time that we have together and not think about all of this. We are still 'Jake and Bella' just like we have always been except now we kiss and talk instead of just talking." They laughed together and it felt good.

They continued to walk down the beach with intertwined hands. Jake said, "Tomorrow I want to take you out on our first real date. Let's go to Mario's for supper and then there is a bonfire down the beach close to Sam Uley's house; everyone will be there. Bella's face lit up as she said, "Yes! I would love that Jake!"

She hugged Jake's neck and the rest of the night they talked about old times and didn't worry about the future. To Jake and Bella this wasn't really a 'break up' because they still wanted to date and they still loved each other just as much as they always have, neither of them were even considering dating anyone else. It was just that now they weren't making any promises or drawing any lines.

Jake knew that he was the only one who would be able to convince Bella to make new friends and god forbid she wanted to start seeing one of them, she wouldn't be tied down to a promise. He knew that if no lines were drawn, neither of them could hurt the other by cheating. Well, it would hurt like hell but it wouldn't be cheating, he was certain 'cheating' would ruin their friendship and any chance of a relationship they might have. He couldn't let that happen…he couldn't let that even be a remote possibility.

They both decided then and there that they weren't going to dwell on it anymore…they made an important decision together…a mature decision and they were proud of themselves.

Billy let Jacob take Bella home in his car that night and when they got to Charlie's at 10 o'clock, Jacob walked her to the door. Jacob got very close to Bella's face; he hesitated, rubbing his nose on her jaw line, inhaling her scent and burning it into his memory. Being this close caused them to share the same air for at least two full minutes and it felt extremely intimate to them. They were breathing heavily and could almost hear their own hearts pounding in their chests when Charlie opened the door. He was interrupting something neither of them wanted to end. Charlie said, "Okay you too, it's time to say goodnight. Right Jake?" It took Jake a minute to take his eyes off of Bella's face before he replied, "Yes sir. It is time to say goodnight. We'll see you at the bonfire tomorrow night, right Charlie?" Charlie said, "Sure thing. I told Billy I would bring the beer." Jake smiled and said, "If it's okay with you Charlie, I'd like to take Bella to Mario's for supper before the bonfire." Charlie asked, "How are you going to get there. You still don't have a driver's license yet, even though I see you are driving my daughter home tonight. Is Billy taking you?" Jake replied, "Paul said that he would drive us to the Restaurant at 7 o'clock and pick us up at 8 o'clock; he'll bring us back to my house. Bella and I can walk to the bonfire from there, if that is okay with you." Charlie said that it would be fine but that Bella needed to be sure and bring a blanket with her to the beach. He said that it was supposed to be a cool night.

Jake thanked Charlie and gave Bella a quick peck on the cheek before he left. However, what Bella replayed in her mind when she got up to her room and went to bed was the way that he rubbed his nose on her face and how they had been breathing the same air. She had to make herself stop replaying it in her mind because she was beginning to breath heavy all over again.

It was unbelievable to everyone who knew Jake and Bella just how deep their connection was and how much obvious chemistry they had, even at the young age of fifteen; they were far from typical teenagers. From the outside looking in, it was obvious that these two kids knew how to treat each other better than most adults did. They sincerely cared for one another and Charlie knew that they always would.

The next day Bella spent time with her dad. They ate breakfast at home and then watched an Andy Griffith rerun. Charlie loved that show and Bella got a kick out of watching him get tickled over Barney. They both went upstairs to shower and get ready after that and by 11:30 they met back in the kitchen, ready to go. They decided to go to one of Bella's favorite bookstores that was located next to Charlie's favorite diner. Bella spent about forty-five minutes in the book store and bought three books. She bought a novel called, "If I Stay'. She had seen the movie but someone back in Jacksonville had told her that the book was even better than the movie. She also bought a mystery of some kind and a book on the ancient history and legends of the Quileute tribe.

Bella was really looking forward to reading the book of legends more than any of the other books she bought combined. She wanted to learn all about Jake and his heritage. She loved Jake, Billy, Sue and little Seth. She didn't really know the others very well and as for Leah, she felt like she needed to watch her closely where Jake was concerned. She would decide later exactly how she felt about Leah. She reminded herself that Leah was Sue's daughter and her dad cared a lot about Sue. Jake seemed to trust her and considered her a friend and she was Seth's big sister…she guessed she couldn't be all bad.

Charlie took Bella to the diner for lunch where she only ate a garden salad, trying to save plenty of room for Italian that evening with Jacob. She had butterflies in her stomach every time she thought of their date and she found it strange because nothing with Jacob ever made her nervous until their relationship crossed over the, 'friend line'. It felt good to be nervous though, it made her feel more like a girl…a girl in love. It made her feel alive!

Charlie wanted to go to the movies but Bella said that she really would rather go to the mall to get something new to wear out tonight. That threw Charlie for a loop because Bella was not the kind of girl to go shopping for clothes or dress up. It made Charlie happy in a way but it also made him worry about Bella getting hurt knowing that she had to leave again in a few days. He would never be able to forgive Renee completely for what she was doing to their family.

Charlie agreed and they were off to the mall. Charlie said that he would sit in one of the massage chairs and get a cheap massage while he waited for Bella, if that was okay with her. She was kind of glad because she wanted to shop alone. Charlie handed her his Visa card and told her not to go too crazy but to by herself some nice things. Bella kissed him on the cheek and said, "Thanks dad!" He smiled, put money into the chair and laid back.

Bella went to several stores. She bought a short silky but kind of casual black dress with a scoop neck and quarter length sleeves. She planned to wear black heels to the restaurant but she bought gold sandals to wear to the beach. She might be cold later but she would slip on her leggings, bring her short black sweater and her cozy blanket. She would also have Jake, he could always warm her up!

She also bought some gold bangles and a long gold necklace.

Bella thanked Charlie for everything and told him what a great day it had been before running up to her room to call Jake. Jake asked her if she and Charlie had a good time and she told him that they had. She also told him that she was really looking forward to their date. She let it slip that she had bought a new gold necklace, but she didn't think that he really picked up on the fact that she had gone out especially to buy new things to wear for their date.

Bella showered again, making sure that her hair smelled like strawberries and vanilla just like Jake loved. She straightened her hair and then put on her new outfit. She looked in the mirror and for once she was pleased with her own reflection. She came downstairs and Charlie glanced at her, but this time it was different because she got a double take from him. He said, "Bella, you look absolutely beautiful! You are growing up so fast and I am afraid that I am missing it. I'm not missing your first date though. Wow!" Bella smiled at her dad and without saying a word she gave him the tightest and longest hug she had ever given him.

Within five minutes, Jake was knocking on the door. Charlie opened the door wide to let Jake in. Charlie said, "Man Jake. You clean up well." Jake smiled, stepped into the kitchen and waited for Charlie to tell him where Bella was. Before either of them had an opportunity to say anything Bella walked in; she had obviously been waiting in the living room.

At the sight of Bella, Jake silently placed his hand directly over his heart. He could only stare at her until Charlie cleared his throat. He recovered and said, "Bells, you look so pretty." She looked Jake over also. He was wearing dark blue low hug jeans and a crisp white Ralph Lauren shirt that really accentuated his russet colored skin, dark chocolate eyes and black hair.

Bella wasn't sure where or when Jake had gotten that shirt but she knew that it showed of his muscular chest perfectly. The sleeves were short and fitted tightly around his biceps. She loved the way that he looked and it made her sad that she couldn't just stay in Fork's, live with her dad and be with Jake. Bella and Charlie both wanted her to stay in Forks, but when she brought it up to Renee she lost it. Bella managed to leave the thoughts behind her and said, "You look awesome too Jake." He smiled and said, "Are you hungry? We should go because we have a reservation for 7 o'clock." Bella nodded, told Charlie good-bye and walked toward the door. Jake slipped over to the car and before she could reach for the door handle he was already opening it for her. She and Jake got in Paul's back seat and held hands all the way to the restaurant.

As Paul drove Jake and Bella to the restaurant, Bella realized how funny Paul was immediately. She didn't think that Paul was being rude, but he never actually looked at Bella as he talked to her; he really kept his eyes on the road while he drove. Bella decided that it wasn't that weird since she and Jake were in the backseat and turning around might have been awkward for Paul. Bella would have liked to actually see what he looked like though; she guessed she would have her chance at the beach later in the evening.

Paul told jokes the whole way to the restaurant and Bella found herself laughing her head off. Bella looked over at Jake and noticed that he was extremely tense. Bella would wait to ask Jake about it when they were alone. When they got to the restaurant Paul told Jake that he would be back at 8 o'clock to take them back to Jake and Billy's house. Bella still didn't get a good look at Paul but she managed to thank him as he was driving away.

When they sat down Jake still had tension in his face so she took his hand and mindlessly began rubbing small circles over his knuckles. She said, "Jake, what is wrong? Why are you so upset?" Jake replied, "I just don't understand how that man whore can make every girl he comes in contact with want to be with him. It's like all girls just salivate when Paul speaks to them." Bella chuckled a little which she immediately realized was the wrong reaction. She replied, "Jake. I am right where I want to be… with you. Paul in funny but he's not you and besides, he is a lot older than me. I'm sure that Paul would never want to be with someone as young as me anyway." When she looked at Jake she realized that her last comment didn't make him feel any better either. Bella added, "Jake, you are the only guy for me…I promise! I love you." Finally she watched as Jake smiled and became more relaxed.

They spent the rest of the night laughing and talking about everything. There were a few tears when the subject of her leaving came up but she couldn't have asked for a better first date. Jake touched her a lot while they talked, physical contact was where Jake found his security. He would hold her hand on top of the table, wipe spaghetti sauce from her lip with his finger and their knees touched under the table almost the entire time they were there. She loved the closeness she felt to Jake and she was going to miss it terribly.

At 6:55 the waitress set a mini folder on the table which had the bill in it. Jake put a credit card in it and within a minute she had already picked it up. Bella wondered who's credit card it was, but she didn't ask. Being on a date with Jake made her feel like she had to be a little more proper than just blurting out whatever was on her mind like she usually did.

As promised, Paul showed up at 8 o'clock, this time in a bright red 4 wheel drive Dodge Ram truck. When Jake saw the truck Bella heard him say, "Great. You have got to be freakin' kidding me." The comment was barely audible, obviously not meant for her ears so she pretended not to hear it. She figured that Jake didn't like how close Paul would be sitting to her; it was obvious to her that Jake didn't trust Paul at all.

Jake and Bella were ready. Jake grabbed Bella around her tiny waist and helped her into the truck first, because he would have no other choice than to let her sit on the bench seat next to Paul; Jake's legs were entirely too long for that. Bella noticed that it was completely dark in the cab of his truck. He apologized to them saying that it needed a new fuse. He complained that he couldn't see a damn thing in the car after 7:30pm. Bella was a little bummed because she still hadn't gotten a look at Paul. She just wanted to put a face with a name. She had met Embry and Quill but she had never met Paul.

Having no light in the cab didn't stop Paul from picking up where he left off earlier, he continued telling stories and Bella tried her hardest not to laugh. She succeeded for the most part but occasionally a laugh would escape her lips that she just couldn't contain. They were harmless jokes, even Jake laughed at a few of them. She decided that she would just place her hand on Jake's leg and let him put his hand on top of hers. She hoped that would prove to him that she didn't mind showing Paul that they were a couple. Thankfully, Jake relaxed again which in turn made her relax.

When they got back to Jake's, Paul dropped them off and left right at once headed towards Sam's house. Jake said that it was a short drive but it was a good 25 minute walk and he wanted to be sure that was okay with her. Bella wanted to be alone with Jake so of course she said that it was fine. The only thing that she worried about was being cold.

Jake said, "Do you want to run in the house and change your clothes? I notice you are carrying a bag with you." She said, "Yes. That would be awesome, if you don't mind waiting." Jake said that he didn't mind at all so they walked into the house hand in hand. Bella immediately noticed that all of the lights were off, so it was obvious to her that they were in his house alone. Bella's heart immediately sped up and as it did Jake turned her to face him. He said, "It's me Bells. Don't be nervous…this isn't the first time we have been home alone." Bella looked down at their feet and said, "I know Jake but this is the first time we have been in your house alone since we crossed over the, 'friend line'." Jake smiled from ear to ear. He said, "So, you are saying that we are more than friends?" Bella looked up and said, "Well Jake. I think that is a pretty good observation. Don't you?" He nodded and said, "Yes, but… you can always trust me Bells. Don't ever be scared to be with me; I will only protect you. Okay?" Bella replied, "I know. I believe you Jake. I'll just be a minute, okay?"

Jake suggested that she change in his room so that she would have more space and even though it made her feel slightly uneasy she thanked him and disappeared to get ready. While she was in there she couldn't stop thinking about the night they had spent in there before she left to go to Jacksonville. It crossed her mind that it must be even harder for Jake, he slept in that bed every single night with the memories of that night surrounding him.

She took off her black heels, slipped on her leggings and put on her gold sandals. She also slipped on her short black sweater and grabbed her blanket. She left her shoes and her bag in Jake's room;

she would get it later.

When she came out Jake told her that she looked perfect. He had gotten a thermos of coffee and had an extra blanket for her just in case. Jake turned off the lights, they walked out and locked the door before leaving. Jake reached out to hold her hand and she accepted it… Bella loved any kind of physical contact with Jake, just as much as Jake did. They were headed out; walking hand and hand down the beach to meet their friends at the bonfire.

Jake and Bella will get cozy on the beach in the next chapter.

Also, strange things happen at the bonfire but I'm not sure when I will reveal what they are. Enjoy!

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	3. Chapter 3

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER THREE

'Beach Walks and Bonfires'

Walking down the beach to meet their friends at the bonfire…

As they walked, Jake told Bella that his dad was going to tell some of the legends of his people at the bonfire, he said that his dad was a great story teller and the legends were very interesting. 'Quileute fairytales' he called them as he was describing them to her. Jake said that he found it odd, his dad told the stories so well that sometimes he actually found himself believing them as truth. He said that was completely ridiculous because like fairytales, they are absolutely unrealistic. He mentioned Jack and his beanstalk and Snow White waking up from the dead when a handsome prince kisses her…those are impossible stories. Right?" Bella nodded and he continued, "Well my dad will tell stories about a selected group of Quileute men becoming warriors who are 'shape shifters', meaning that they transform into wolves (not werewolves), just regular wolves but massive in size." Bella asked, "For what purpose?" Jake answered, "To protect our people from the 'cold ones'. Bella asked the next obvious question. "Who or what are the 'cold ones'?" Jake answered, "The legends say that the 'cold ones' are vampires. They say that the warriors transform into wolves to protect our people by killing the, 'cold ones' or the 'vampires'.

Bella was in awe…she had never heard a story like that before but he wasn't surprised. She told Jake about the book that she had purchased but told him that she hadn't even opened it yet. She said that she was really looking forward to reading about his people. He told her that hearing the stories tonight might help her understand the book a little better. He also told her that he was honored that she was interested in learning about the history of his people.

They walked for a couple minutes in silence and she began to feel Jake rub his thumb back and forth over her the top of her hand. Just the simple gesture made her feel weak at the knees. Jake noticed and placed his hand around her tiny waist and pulled her up against his side to steady her. He asked, "Are you okay?" She nodded and said, "Never better." He smiled from ear to ear.

Jake asked her if she was cold and she said a little bit. He opened the thermos of coffee and pored some in the cup for her. She took a sip and immediately began to warm up. Jake wrapped her blanket over her shoulders and placed his arm tightly around her body. He asked, "Is that better Bells?" Bella nodded and Jake noticed the smile across her face.

Jake said, "I was wondering about something." Bella replied, "What is it?" Jake asked, "In your opinion, what is the hardest part of us being apart?" Bella didn't have to think about it at all. She immediately answered, "The hardest part for me is not being able to run and tell you anything I want. When something happens, you are the very first person I want to share it with - good or bad. I miss hearing what is going on with you too. Talking over the phone just isn't good enough because I need to be touched by you – whether it is play slapping, holding hands, putting our arms around one another or any other kind of physical contact. I need it like I need air to breath and it kills me everyday we're apart. Even making friends in Jacksonville will never change that and I don't want to stop needing you." Jake ached for her because he knew exactly what she was talking about and he told her so.

She asked, "What about you Jake?" He answered, "I miss teasing you…and I know it sounds silly because we are so young, but I miss needing you so desperately and experiencing actually fulfilling that need. Even before we crossed the 'friend line' I had a need for you. It would burn me up sometimes when we were apart for a couple days. I needed to see you and touch you… not touch you, touch you but have physical contact with you in someway… anyway. When we would finally get to see one another, the sensation of feeling you near me after needing you so badly was amazing; there isn't a better feeling than that. I miss that so much! I need you like crazy but I can't have you when I want you."

Jake paused in thought before continuing, "It has always been there you know. My need for you I mean. I think that deep down we have always known that something more was going to happen between us and we have been anticipating it for years Bella. We have crossed the 'friend line' now and we are still anticipating, always waiting and wanting the next step. I miss that so much when we are apart… just feeling that pull toward you all the time. Does that sound absolutely crazy?" Bella answered, "No. I completely understand and know exactly what you are talking about. I feel the same way Jake; I feel it right now. I always want more with you, even though I know that we are so young and even though I know I will be leaving in a couple of days."

Jake stopped and said, "Let's sit down for a minute." Bella nodded. Jake laid out the extra blanket he brought and they sat down on it. He put Bella's blanket over them so he could help keep her warm. He scooted up really close to her and put his arm around her. He whispered, "I love you Bells." She replied in a voice much lower and breathier than usual. "I love you too Jake."

Bella whispered, "Jake. I'm still cold." He laid back on the blanket and motioned for her to lay back with him so she could cuddle up next to him. He placed his arm under her head and she laid her cheek on his chest. She said, "I'm getting warmer." They laid there for a while in silence, just staring into the starry sky. He could hear that her breathing had picked up and he was certain that she was feeling the same as he was.

He slipped his arm out from underneath her head and moved to where he was over top of her, not laying on her but blocking the breeze with his large frame. He had one knee between her legs and the other on her right side. He began placing soft kisses all over her face and then rubbed his nose over her jaw line and down to her neck. A soft moan escaped Bella's lips. He asked, "Warmer?" She gave him a quick nod.

Jake began placing open mouthed kisses all the way down her neck to her collarbone causing her to shiver at his touch. She had a scoop neck dress on so he was able to place his nose right in the center of her breast bone; he was engulfed by her scent which caused chills to form up and down his body. Her breathing was labored and his heart was racing faster than it had ever raced before.

He asked, "Is this okay Bells?" She told him that it was more than okay.

They were both anticipating, just as he had spoken of only minutes before. Neither of them knew for certain how far this was going to go but at this point neither teen was ready to stop.

Bella said, "I want you to put your hands on me Jake." He asked, "Are you sure?" She replied by nodding into his shoulder. Jake didn't have any experience with girls with the exception of the little bit of touching that he and Bella did before she left to go to Jacksonville. However, he had talked to Embry and Paul about sex. He thought that Paul was full of shit but he knew that Embry was trying to give him good advice so that someday he wouldn't be completely clueless. He knew that Embry treated girls with respect but he also knew that he was sexually active, now with only one girl. They were living together now in a house down the beach.

Embry told him that everything he does up until he is actually having sex should be done very slowly and gently. Kiss slowly, touch slowly, talk slowly… then, Embry said that when he began to have sex he should start slowly but then speed up. He told Jake that by that point his body would take it from there. Embry told him to be very careful and be sure that he isn't hurting the girl or doing something she doesn't like. He said not to ask her over and over, but to pay close attention to the sounds that she makes. Embry told Jake that he would be able to tell how she was feeling if he paid attention and that eventually it would all come natural to him and he wouldn't have to focus so hard on everything.

Embry warned Jake that when it is a girls first time having sex it is normal for it to hurt a little at first. He told Jake that he would probably notice a little blood but not to freak out. He said not to bring attention to it because it could upset the girl. Jake figured that he had told him all of that because Embry figured Bella would more than likely be his first and she was obviously a virgin.

Embry talked to Jake about safe sex and he had given him a box of condoms. Jake had carried one with him ever since he turned thirteen and started having sex dreams about Bella. Jake was glad that he had those dreams now because in a way it was like practice for the real thing. At this point though he was unsure exactly where they were headed or when they would stop.

Embry had given him some other tips in detail but at the moment he was too nervous to run back through all of them in his mind. He remembered everything though, he had engrained it all in his memory and it would never be forgotten. He was glad that he had someone like Embry to talk to because he would have been a complete mess right now otherwise.

Bella had already given him permission to press a little further forward so he sat up on his knees and began to rub her sides slowly and tenderly. He wanted her to feel all of the love he had for her. She lifted her hands above her head to give him easier access to her sides while heavy breaths escaped from her mouth. He let his large shaky hands slide over her ribs, finally landing on her round perky breasts. He began to gently message them and Bella thought that she would explode. He placed his mouth on her right breast, not caring whether he wet her dress there or not; he lightly bit at the tip that was prominently sticking out due to the cold breeze. She sucked in a breath which was followed by another soft moan. He easily recognized it to be a good moan. He heard her whisper, "More" into the night air.

Jake reached for the hem of her dress and began pulling it up her body. She had on her leggings but her stomach was completely exposed. He rubbed her stomach and placed his finger in her belly button and whirled it around. He smiled playfully at her. He placed his face on her bare stomach and placed open mouthed kisses all over it. He stuck his tongue in her navel and she let out another moan that could have only come from pure bliss. He inhaled deeply wanting to memorize the scent coming from her core. As he inhaled he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a moan of his own. He was enjoying every second of the exploration and he desperately wanted her to feel the same way.

He placed his hand between her legs over her leggings and found the spot that Embry had described to him. He rubbed it steadily over her pants, never touching any bare skin other than her stomach. She was moaning so loudly he worried that someone down the beach might hear her. He said, "Try to be a little quieter if you can baby so no one hears us." She quickly nodded and placed a hand over her mouth.

He could smell her sweetness become stronger as he continued to rub her between her legs and he could feel his member pulsing. His pants were feeling extremely tight in the crotch at this point so he reached down and unzipped his jeans just to give himself some extra space. Bella heard the sound of his zipper and immediately tensed. He said, "I promise Bella. I just had to give myself some space…my pants are getting very tight. I'm not going to do anything you are uncomfortable with, I promise. I love you Bells."

Bella relaxed and reached down to feel him over his jeans. She had never touched a boy before and she couldn't help her curiosity; she had briefly grazed over Jake's shorts the night before she left for Jacksonville but that was it. Jake knew that neither of them had ever touched anyone before and he was sure she felt even more nervous than he did.

He said, "Bella, I don't have to…" She tried to stop him but he continued. "We don't have to go all the way tonight Bells but I really want to keep touching you. Have you ever had… " She shook her head no. Jake wanted her to have her first orgasm with him so badly so her answer pleased him more than he could say. She asked shyly, "Have you?" Jake answered honestly, "Yes, but only by myself. I am still a virgin…I swear it." She said, "I believe you Jake but you sure do seem experienced." He said, "I've only ever done anything with you Bella. I have never shared anything like this with anyone else and I don't ever want to. Embry…" She stopped him and said, "Enough said."

Jake laid beside Bella, his member still covered by his jeans but pressed hard against the side of her leg. He couldn't help moving himself back and forth against her leg as he continued rubbing the spot between her legs. He longed for her to touch his skin and she sensed it. She slipped her hands underneath his shirt and rubbed his hard muscles. Jake was pleased when he noticed that touching him only fueled her and made her more sensitive between her legs.

Bella reached and unbuttoned Jake's jeans causing him to let out a loud moan. She laughed and said, "You better be quiet Jake…someone down the beach might hear you." She felt him smile against her neck as he placed a few kisses there. She couldn't help herself, she reached down the front of his pants and held him in her hands. He was much larger than she expected and she wondered how it could ever fit inside her. Her uncertainty caused her to begin breathing heavier and she feared she might hyperventilate at any moment. Jake sensed her fear and knew what she was thinking. He whispered, "Stop worrying Bells. We were made for each other and someday we will find that we fit together perfectly." She relaxed and he asked, "Tell me if I do anything you are uncomfortable with. Okay?" She nodded.

Jake pulled out the top of her leggings and slipped his hand underneath her panties…he had a goal and as long as she would let him, he wasn't stopping until he reached it. His fingers found her warm nerves again and he began rubbing her there in a slow circular motion knowing exactly what would happen in due time. The heavier her breathing got the harder she tugged on his member. He reached up and grabbed her nipple, over her dress and listened as her climax built; she quickly fell over the edge and continued to moan for what seemed like forever. He figured it was years of built up frustration and he loved every second of it.

She continued to pull and tug at him until his climax began. He said, "I'm almost there Bells…I've got to get up." He took over from there and in the dark he released his hot fluids onto the beach. He had never had an orgasm that lasted so long or became that intense before. He was already looking forward to the next time he and Bella could share themselves like that again.

Jake zipped his pants up and went back over to where Bella was. She was lying on her back, her dress pulled up slightly showing off her perfectly flat stomach. He couldn't help noticing how shapely her hips had gotten and he could feel himself start to harden again. He shook his head back and forth willing the feeling away.

Bella had basically passed out from the exhaustion due to the pleasure she had just experienced. He marveled in the fact that he had made her feel that way tonight, even though he still hadn't even seen her naked or even felt her bare breast. He loved her more in that moment than he ever had before and he prayed that she would never find anyone in Florida that she wanted to be with. He wanted her all to himself and he didn't care how selfish that made him.

Jake rubbed her stomach and placed a few warm kisses there before straightening her clothes for her. He laid on his side next to her and began placing soft kisses on her cheek, finally landing his lips on hers as she opened her eyes. She smiled and said, "Hey you." He smiled back and said, "Hey you."

Neither of them commented on anything they had just experienced, they had to absorb it all before they talked about it. They needed time in their thoughts to figure out what it meant for them. Jake wrapped the blankets around Bella's shoulders and picked up the thermos and they began walking down the beach hand in hand. They would reach the bonfire in less than ten minutes. Jake whispered, "I know I tell you this all the time but…" She said, "I love you too Jake and I never get tired of hearing it."

Walking down the beach, Jake remembered something. Embry had told Jake that once you start having sex you usually don't stop and that went for males or females. Embry told Jake that it is an amazing feeling and once you get a taste of it you can't seem to live without it, not for long anyway.

Jake got to thinking about that. If they were to have sex and Bella leaves to go to Jacksonville for month's at a time, what would she be tempted to do down there and what would he feel the need for here. He didn't want to put that kind of pressure on either of them. Jake decided that he would only explain his concerns to Bella if she pushed the issue and wanted to have sex before she left. Jake knew Bella's fear was that they wouldn't lose their virginity together and he had a feeling she was going to try to push this before she left to make sure her fears would not become a reality. He would probably have to explain to her why he was holding back. He had a few other reasons he felt they should wait however he still was experiencing his own emotional turmoil while convincing himself to hold back.

Before they reached the crowd of people around the bonfire Jake stopped Bella. He said, "We are kind of late Bella. What are we going to tell your dad?" She had already thought of it. She said, "We will just tell him that we had a lot to talk about and we took some time to talk tonight. He will accept that answer. Don't worry Jake." She stood on her tip toes and Jake leaned down to give her a short, sweet peck."

Jake looked over at the crowd and it seemed that Embry was looking at him knowingly. Jake wondered how Embry could know anything. Surely he was only wondering because they were showing up later than expected. Jake felt like punching that smirk off Embry's face, even though he knew that if it hadn't of been for him, Jake never would have known how to please Bella like he had.

Bella asked, "Are you okay Jake?" Jake smiled and answered, "Of course I'm okay. You have given me the best night of my life and I have never loved you more than I do right now. I think that us trusting each other the way we did tonight makes me feel even more crazy about you, if that's even possible." Bella smiled and said, "Well Jake. I guess you have said it all. I couldn't top that in a million years but I will tell you this… you made me feel things tonight that I didn't even know were possible. You mean everything to me and I don't ever want to go back to Florida." Jake quieted her with a finger to her lips and said, "Shhh. Let's try not to worry about that tonight." She nodded and they smiled at each other. They knew that it was time to join the party, even though they were well aware that they would much rather spend their time with each other, alone.

Charlie walked over with a concerned expression on his face. Jake suddenly became very nervous. Charlie asked them the obvious question and as Bella had said, Charlie accepted her answer. He was worried about her being cold but she assured him that Jake had wrapped her up in blankets and made sure that she had stayed plenty warm. Jake knew that there was a hidden memory behind those words but it wasn't a lie… it was the truth.

They walked over to the guys and Jake introduced Bella to everyone. She had met Embry and Quill a few times but didn't really know them well. She had met Paul earlier that night, on the way to and from the Mario's. Paul had a blown fuse so she never actually saw his face, but she had learned a lot about him because of his excessive talking. Jake had shared his thoughts on Paul with her, but Jake figured that she probably thought he had said those things due to his insecurities. That could have been partly true but Jake sincerely didn't like Paul, he never had.

Jake wasn't sure exactly how Bella felt about Paul but he wanted Paul to stay far away from her. Jake figured he felt as strongly about her staying away from Paul as she did him staying away from Leah. However, it was going to be difficult because Paul is always around for every gathering and Leah is always at Charlie's house. At least Bella could find comfort in the fact that Charlie wouldn't approve of anything happening with Jake and Leah because Charlie knew that it would break Bella's heart. Charlie wasn't aware of the 'no lines' conversation so he would expect Jake to be on his best behavior, which Jake was perfectly fine with because he had no desire to be with anyone else. Jake could find comfort in the fact that Bella would never even see Paul while she was in Florida and when she came home Jake would always be attached at the hip with her because he missed her so much while they were apart.

Jake walked over to the cooler to get him and Bella a Dr. Pepper and Embry followed him over. Jake looked up at his smirking face and said, "What in the hell are you smirking about Embry? You have been looking at me like that ever since Bella and I walked up." Embry replied, "Jake. You finally did it!" Jake looked confused and said, "What are you talking about? Did what?" Embry pressed, "Don't play with me Jake. There is a strong breeze tonight and I picked up the sex smell the minute you and Bella walked up." Jake was furious but he kept his voice down so nobody else could hear their conversation. He especially didn't want Bella, Charlie or god forbid Paul to hear it. He said, "We didn't have sex Embry. How do you smell like that anyway?" Embry replied, "Don't worry about that Jake. You have a pretty good smeller on you too these days, before you know it you'll be…" Embry stopped himself mid-sentence. Jake said, "What in the hell are you going on about?" Embry told him that it was nothing; he was thankful that Jake was distracted and didn't ask anymore questions. Embry said, "I smell sex on you and on her! You know I won't tell anyone, so I don't understand why you are trying to hide it from me?" Jake said, "I know that my senses are pretty good lately but I can't smell a person from across the beach. Good God Embry! Besides, I am not trying to hide anything from you. I would if I could… trust me, but I know that it is completely impossible." Embry looked confused and said, "Well, spill!" Jake was exasperated at that point. He said, "Ugh! Can't a guy keep anything private around here, I swear. Bella and I didn't have sex Embry. I love her and respect her… I don't want to spill everything about our personal life with you or anyone else." Embry said, "It is pointless to try to keep things hidden… you are just going to have to get used to it like the rest of the guys have. It must be a Quileute thing Jake…we always know." Jake said, "We… touched and we both had an orgasm but we didn't go all the way. We haven't had sex yet! Hell, I haven't even seen her with her clothes off yet. Are you happy?" Embry replied, "You really love her, don't you?" Jake answered, "Yes. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything. I want to have sex with her but I think that we need to wait a little longer. I don't want to rush into it just because we are afraid of being apart." Embry nodded and said, "And…" I replied, "And I am worried that if we do have sex we will want and need to keep having sex like you said before. We are going to be apart from one another for months at a time sometimes Em… what will that mean for us. I don't want either of us looking somewhere else to fulfill that need. It's not worth it! I can wait!" Embry said, "I understand but I seriously don't think either of you would do that. I think that you would wait for each other, no matter how difficult it got." Jake simply said, "I'm not willing to take that chance…not yet." Embry gave Jake a firm slap of approval, right on the back. Embry was proud of the man Jake was turning into.

Jake looked over at the group and noticed that Bella was talking to Quill. Suddenly, Bella trips on her own two feet and Paul catches her. She blushes with embarrassment as Paul pulls her up gently by her forearms, looking directly into her face. I hear him ask her if she is okay. She says, "Oh. I'm fine Paul…thank you! I'm just clumsy." Paul smirked and made a curious comment. "I remember that Bella!" Jake stopped in my tracks and listened from where I stood. Bella asked, "What? What do you remember?" Paul said, "It took me a little while to put it all together; you have grown up and you look so much older. I think that was what kept throwing me. I know that you don't remember me Bella but I went to Fork's Middle before I moved in with my foster family. I transferred to La Push Middle for my sixth grade year and you were going into the fourth grade. I remember you being known as 'The pretty girl who's so clumsy.'" Jake was immediately pissed at Paul for talking to Bella at all but what bothered him most was that Paul spoke to Bella differently than he did with any of the other girls. He spoke softer and more respectful with Bella and although Jake knew that Bella deserved his respect, he couldn't help wondering why she had earned Paul's respect so quickly. Paul never seemed to have manners with the ladies before, why now and why with Bella?"

Paul looked up at Jake and gave him a look that could kill. At first Jake wondered why Paul had given him that look but then realized that Paul could probably smell the same thing that Embry had. Still, he didn't understand why in the world it would matter to Paul. 'Paul was a man whore and had probably been with every scank from here to Forks; why would he care what he and Bella did together?' Jake thought to himself.

After listening to everything Paul shared with Bella, Jake began doing the math in his head. 'Paul is three years older than Bella but only two grades ahead in school. Paul is eighteen right now…same as Embry. Embry and Paul will turn 19 in December (next month). Bella will turn 16 at the end of November (in two days actually). I will turn 16 in July.' Jake thought to himself.

Jake had always felt like Embry and Paul seemed so much older than him but watching Paul look at Bella the way he was made Jake realize that none of them were that far apart in age. It also made him feel extremely protective over Bella because he didn't want anyone coming between the two of them, least of all Paul. Paul could have five girls tonight if he wanted them and Jake was sure that Paul knew it.

Jake walked over to the group and placed his hand around Bella's waist protectively. He looked over Bella's head at Paul and gave him a look that told him to watch his step. Jake was only fifteen but he had grown a lot over the past eight months and he could easily pass for 6 or 7 years older than he was; he didn't look like a boy anymore and he knew it. He was not scared of Paul Lahote in the least; he knew that he could hold his own and if it came to fighting over Bella, Jake would gladly kick Paul's ass.

Jake smiled and greeted Bella with a kiss on the cheek. He said, "Hey Bells. Having fun?" She looked into his face and said, "Yes. I am but I'm glad you are back." Jake handed her a Dr. Pepper and said Hi to all the guys avoiding eye contact with Paul, so that he could attempt to collect himself.

Embry knew that Jake was pissed and he wasn't surprised. The thing about it was that Embry had known Paul all of his life and he knew that Paul wasn't putting on with Bella. Paul sincerely liked Bella, but Embry wasn't sure what to make of it. He decided that he would just watch the situation closely and try to figure it all out. He wondered briefly if he should mention it to Sam, but decided in the end just to wait a little while and observe. Sam being their leader really needed to be informed of anything that involved the pack and they all had to keep everyone's emotions intact.

After a little while, everyone went closer to the bonfire so that Billy could tell the stories and share the legends of their people. Jake was right, Billy was a wonderful story teller. He could captivate an entire crowd effortlessly; no one moved a muscle when Billy spoke and it seemed to Bella that the breeze and the waves even quieted to hear Billy's stories. She noticed how intensely Jake was listening to his father's every word and she wondered if he found himself believing that the legends were more than just make believe stories again. She didn't know if something like that was possible but unbelievable things happen all the time and she would probably believe it if Jake did.

Bella was wired a little differently than most people, she had an open mind and she believed that there was more out there than the human mind could possibly grasp. Bella believed in God too and how miraculous He was, so why couldn't she believe that through God's powers a tribe could be given a gift that would help them protect their people. The only thing that she questioned was whether she could actually believe in a vampire or not. She thought that someone might actually have to prove their existence to her.

All these thoughts were going through Bella's mind while she was watching Jake listen to Billy's stories so intently. Bella felt as though someone was watching her which caused her to look up. She immediately noticed Embry watching her curiously; she couldn't help feeling very self conscience. He was looking back and forth between her and Jake; she got the feeling that he was studying Jake as much as he was studying her and she wondered why. When he realized Bella had caught him staring at them he smiled; she relaxed and returned the smile.

Embry cared a lot about Jake and he had been watching him closely over the past eight months. Embry had noticed a lot of changes in Jake, changes that he had experienced himself last year. Embry worried for him though because Jake was so young. After witnessing the changes in Jake recently, Embry knew that the time was fast approaching and he also knew that Jake was going to go through the change at a younger age than any of the others had.

Jake's senses were already becoming more apparent. He had drastically grown in height and weight, all of his weight was gained in muscle and he had already reached 6 feet 3 inches. Embry could tell that Jake was going to be massive in size; he would probably be more powerful than any of them, including Sam.

Now, there was Bella… Jake was obviously madly in love with her and Embry felt that he had to watch Jake even more closely because of it. During the changes he would more than likely become more and more emotional, every emotion would be intensified to a degree that would be hard to control, especially at 15 or 16 years old. Embry just hoped that Bella would be back in Florida when the change occurred; Embry knew that it would happen soon.

Embry had been watching Jake listen to Billy's stories over the past months. Each time he became more and more engrossed in them; each time Embry felt like he was beginning to realize the possibility of them being fact rather than fiction. The weird thing that night was watching Bella concentrate so hard on Jacob's face as he listened to Billy's stories. Embry got the feeling that even Bella was weighing the possibilities of the stories she was hearing. He wasn't sure exactly what to make of that.

When the stories were over Jake and Bella walked over to Billy, Charlie and Sue. Sue announced that she would be preparing Thanksgiving dinner at Charlie's house and she was expecting everyone to eat at 6 o'clock. Bella and Jake thanked Sue and told her that they were looking forward to it, however Bella wasn't really looking forward to it if she was being completely honest. She was extremely worried about seeing Leah.

Jake and Bella walked over to Charlie's cruiser while they waited for him. Bella looked down at their feet, fidgeting with the belt on her dress. Jake took her hands in his and said, "Bells, look at me…don't leave me and go to another place, not after everything we shared tonight." Bella looked into Jake's eyes and he could see the worry in her eyes. He pulled her close to him so he could feel the warmth of her breath on his chest while he drank her in.

Jake said, "You have nothing to worry about Bells. You are the only one for me…I am not interested in her at all." Bella looked into his eyes and waited for him to continue. He said, "Bella. Leah and I are only friends. We have had some conversations but I have never said anything to her that I couldn't repeat to you." Bella nodded.

Bella swallowed hard and asked, "Do you think that Leah likes you as more than a friend?" Jake answered, "Bella, I honestly don't know the answer to that question. I think that if I were interested and asked her out she would say yes. Leah knows how crazy in love I am with you though and she has always respected that. I promise you don't have anything to worry about Bells." He kissed her nose, both cheeks and then her lips, hesitating there until she began to breath heavily. He whispered, "I want everything with you Bells." She whispered back, "I know Jake. Me too!"

The truth was that Jake and Bella were young, perhaps too young to be experiencing the feelings that were consuming them. However, Jake wasn't the typical 15 year old, he had physically matured on fast forward over the past six months and with that came a growing sexual appetite. He was actually containing that appetite very responsibly; Bella wasn't certain she wanted to stop when they were together and Jake knew it. Jake could have passed for 20 or 21 with no problem; that alone was enough to understand that he would never again be mistaken for a 'boy' by any one of his peers. Bella was young and naïve on one hand but she was also going through a lot emotionally with Renee and Charlie. She realized that she was from a 'broken home' now and she wanted nothing more than to build her own adult relationship and prove to herself that unlike Renee, she would know how to nurture and protect the people in her life. These two kids were determined to grow up too fast.

What about Leah… do you think she really respects Jake's relationship with Bella? What about Paul…how does he really feel about Bella? Do you think that Paul should be invited to Thanksgiving or would that just be to dang weird? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Thanks for reading!

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Hugs to all my wolfgirls!


	4. Chapter 4

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER FOUR

'Find it on Google'

That night on the way home Bella told Sue that she really would like to contribute by helping Sue prepare Thanksgiving dinner, she said that she could also make her famous Apple Cinnamon pie. Sue thanked her and told her that she was looking forward to cooking with her the next day.

Charlie and Bella dropped Sue off at the Clearwater house and she let them know that she would be over at 7 o'clock the next morning to begin preparing the food for Thanksgiving dinner. Bella hugged Charlie and told him good-night as soon as they got home. She had decided to go straight to bed so that she could get plenty of sleep; she wanted to be well rested and ready to help Sue the next day plus she wanted to spend some time with Jake. She put on her pajama bottoms and matching tank top before going into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face; it only took her about ten minutes to finish.

She climbed into bed and began to relive her night on the beach with Jake. She and Jake had been honest with one another about their feelings and because of that she felt extremely close to him. She loved Jake and she was completely attracted to him in a 'can't speak or breathe' kind of way. She had noticed that Jake's appearance had changed a lot over the past year; he looked like a man now. His voice had become deeper and he went from really cute to extremely hot. She knew all of the girls were noticing but for some reason it was her that he wanted.

Bella let Jake do things to her that surprised the hell out of her, she was usually bashful about things like that but with Jake she felt comfortable. She had done things to Jake that came completely natural to her, even though they should have felt very foreign to her. She had never shared anything sexual with anyone before; she was only fifteen years old and until recently she had been completely naïve about anything of the sort.

Jake had done things to her and touched her in a way that made her crave more. It felt amazing, so amazing in fact that she thought she may have already died and gone to heaven. Just laying there thinking about it made her private parts quickly become warm and moist. She recalled the feeling of last night's climb; she had immediately heated up in her chest and that sensation grew until it reached the spot that Jake massaged so perfectly; she wondered exactly how he knew where to touch her. Last night she had felt her heart speed up faster and faster, and beat harder and harder until finally she felt as if she were 'cliff diving'. It felt amazing!

Lost in thoughts of Jake, Bella soon realized that she had mindlessly reached down into her panties and found the spot that he had massaged for her only hours before. With her right hand she rubbed herself there in a slow circular motion just as Jake had and then gradually increased the movement to the perfect speed. She slipped her left hand under her tank top and rubbed lightly over her nipples one and then the other until it happened again, she climbed and climbed before falling quickly leaving her completely weak…her limbs lifeless and incapable of moving. She wondered why she had never been aware of the nerves down there before; she had no idea that she could make herself feel that way. However, it was nothing in comparison to the way her body responded when Jake touched her. He had a way that completely turned her inside out, she was practically putty in his hands and she loved every second of it. She wasn't sure exactly how Jake seemed so experienced but he had mentioned Embry, so she figured that Embry had given him specific pointers. She decided that in the future she would let Jacob be her guide and trust that he would know exactly how to drive her crazy.

As soon as she had that thought, she decided that she would probably Google exactly what she was supposed to do for Jake because she had no idea. She wanted to make Jake feel things that he had never felt before also. Although he didn't seem like it, she knew that he was still a virgin also so the things that she could do for him would be things he had never experienced as well. She just had to figure out what they were. She was surprised how she had grabbed hold of him and tugged until he experienced his own release, but nearly a year ago she had read a book that contained some detailed sex, so it just seemed to come to her. She decided not to think about his size, she had no idea how that would ever fit inside her when the time came. It was so thick, so long and so hard; it scared her to death. No… she was not going to worry about it; Jake told her that it would be fine and she believed him.

She began to think about Paul for some reason. He seemed very funny and very sweet. She was flattered that he remembered her from elementary school and had even referred to her as, 'the pretty girl'. She had only been in the third grade and Paul was an older boy which made it even better. Jake seemed insecure when it came to Paul and she wondered exactly why that was. Jake had referred to Paul as a 'man whore' but it was hard for her to see Paul that way; she had not witnessed any behavior that even pointed to something like that. She realized that she didn't know Paul though and Jake probably knew better than she did. She would do anything she could to assure Jake that he had nothing to worry about; she was completely in love with him and he was everything she would ever want or need – she was sure of it.

Bella also knew what insecurity felt like; she was scared to death to witness Leah around Jake tomorrow even though Jake told her that she had absolutely nothing to worry about. She decided to put it all out of her head. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her over, she was physically and emotionally drained from all of the new experiences the day and night had brought.

The next day she woke up at 6:30 am. She jumped up so that she could Google sexual experiences. She decided to use her IPhone to search rather than Charlie's computer. She definitely didn't want Charlie to find this search in the history on his computer. She searched and read a lot about things that turned men on. She also read a lot about oral sex and sexual positions. She decided that she had found some things that Jake might like and things that she could do that would drive him crazy but she just had to find the courage to do them.

She never thought at 15 years old she would even be thinking about any of this, but she didn't feel 15. These days she took care of Renee, like she was the mother and Renee was the daughter. She cooked almost every night because Renee burned everything; she also washed clothes for both of them because Renee never seemed to have time due to her work schedule and going out with Phil. She had to set her alarm early enough to wake Renee up every morning, otherwise she would be late for work - Renee rarely heard her own alarm. She also had to check behind Renee to be sure that she had remembered to pay the important bills like power, electric, water and the car insurance; she thought Renee had Adult ADD because she couldn't seem to remember anything. Bella was practically running their household. As a matter of fact, she was going to have to call the insurance company this morning just to make sure Renee paid her car insurance because if she were to get in an accident, they probably wouldn't have enough money to fix it out of their pocket. They were very nice at the Insurance Company though, they knew Bella by name and they also understood her dilemma.

Renee loved Bella very much, she knew that, however she was still pissed at her about leaving her dad and making her move to Florida with her. She missed her dad and Jake all the time and there was no one to blame except for Renee. Charlie wouldn't let Bella live with him without Renee agreeing; Bella couldn't understand his thinking on that, it wasn't like Renee had given him a choice when she took Bella away with her. She was just as much Charlie's as she was Renee's…that was not how Charlie was though; he was a good man and deep down he was still in love with Renee even though he seemed happy with Sue. Bella hoped her dad would get over her mom because she really felt that Sue was good him.

Bella looked back down at her IPhone and began reading the last of the information on preparing for different kinds of sex. Evidently some men like women who had a little hair under their arms but the majority of men like them clean shaven. Jake would just have to be fine with them shaved because she wasn't growing hair under her arms for anyone. She also read that a lot of men preferred very little or no hair in the pubic area. The information also stated that shaving your pubic hair was good personal hygiene. Bella thought that was something that appealed to her. She thought that it would probably be surprising to Jake because she felt certain he realized last night that she did have hair down there. She decided that she would shave it all off when she took her shower that morning. Suddenly, a picture of two people having sex popped up on the her screen and the doorbell rang at the same time. She hit her lock button and set her IPhone down quickly before running downstairs to answer the door; she told herself that she could finish her research later.

When she got downstairs she realized that it was Sue. Time had flown by quicker than she thought it would. Sue told Bella that Leah had agreed to come by in a little while to take her to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients she needed to bake her pie. Sue said that she should be here in about 45 minutes and that as soon as they got back Leah was going to have to leave for a while; she had plans with a few friends and then she would be back to eat with us. She told Bella that Leah wasn't much of a cook, even though she had tried for years to get her interested in cooking. Bella wasn't crazy about it but she thanked Sue for getting her a ride. She told Sue that she needed to go upstairs to shower and get ready. She also told her that she would be back downstairs by the time Leah got here. 'Ugh! What luck...' Bella thought.

Bella went upstairs and took a shower. She washed her hair and body in soaps that were strawberry and vanilla scented because she knew that Jake loved them. She shaved her underarms and legs; then without hesitation she lathered up her private area with shaving cream and shaved every bit of it off. She stood nude in front of the full length mirror and realized that she liked the way that it looked. She got out and dried off quickly before going back to her room.

She put on a matching turquoise bra and panty set; when she looked in the mirror she was pleased with the refection. Her panties were skimpy so it was a good thing that she had shaved. Her matching bra was a 'push up' and it hooked in the front. The color turquoise looked good on her skin complexion. Bella decided that later she would wear her red dress with long sleeves; it was a tailored dress and it fit perfectly over her new, curvier figure. The dress hit her a couple of inches above the knee. She would wear black heels. She just knew that Jake would go crazy for her in that dress. For now she was going to wear skinny jeans, a silky long sleeve turquoise blouse and black flats. She didn't want to get her dress messed up cooking and she wanted to surprise Jake later by dressing up at the last minute. She knew that Sue was going home to dress up when everything was almost ready.

When Leah got there Bella felt a little self-conscience because she felt like Leah was sizing her up. Bella wasn't sure if Leah was sizing up the competition or if she was gauging whether she was pretty enough to be with someone as beautiful as Jake. Leah finally smiled so Bella returned the smile and opened the door widely so she could walk in. Bella said, "Hi Leah. I'm Bella. I know that we have met before but it was a long time ago so I wasn't sure if you remembered me or not." Leah replied, "Bella, I could never forget you because Jake would never let me." Bella wasn't sure how to take that. She wasn't even sure Leah knew how she meant it. Bella glanced at Sue and she shrugged when Leah wasn't looking. She turned back to Leah and said, "Thanks for giving me a ride to the grocery store. I know you have a busy day planned already. I'm ready to go whenever you are; I have already made a list so it should be a quick trip." Leah replied, "Cool. I'm not exactly crazy about going to the grocery store. Okay, let's go then."

Leah was driving a little red Honda Civic. It wasn't brand new but it was still very cute. Bella said, "I like your car Leah!" She replied, "Yeah…I like it too. I just got it back." Bella asked, "Where was it? Was something wrong with it?" She answered, "Yeah. It was the transmission. It would have cost me $3,000 but Jake fixed it for me. I only had to pay for parts. Jake wouldn't let me pay him anything for labor and he found a transmission that was almost new. It was in a salvage yard, in a Honda Civic that had been practically totaled. Surprisingly, the transmission wasn't damaged at all." Bella wasn't sure how she felt about it but she covered up her insecurities and said, "That's great for you Leah. I'm glad that you didn't have to pay too much to get it fixed. Jake's a handy guy to have around I guess." She thought for a moment and said, "Yes…he is! I wish he would let me do something to thank him but he insists it was a favor and to leave it at that." Bella replied, "Well, he has a big heart!" Again, she agreed.

They got to the grocery store and Bella told Leah that she could wait in the car if she didn't want to come in. Leah accepted that offer and said she would stay and listen to her new Ed Sherran cd. She said that she absolutely loved the song, "Don't". Bella had to agree because she loved Ed Sherran's music.

Bella was only gone ten minutes before she reached the car. She overheard Leah finish her phone conversation. She had said, "Okay Jake. We'll see you then." Bella's heart sped up. 'Why was she talking to Jake. Who called whom?' Bella thought.

Bella put the groceries in the back and waited for a second to see if Leah would give her any information without her having to ask. She asked, "Did you find everything you needed." Bella replied, "Yes." Leah was quiet for a minute and then she said, "I talked to Jake. I told him that you and I were together. I'm pretty sure he isn't happy that I am out with you." I asked, "Why?" She answered, "Well, I

guess I don't have a reputation for being nice to people. I have been labeled a 'bitch' by a lot of people. I don't mean to be, it's just that some people piss me off and I refuse to hide it most of the time.' Bella said, "Oh. Well, I think that Jake likes you, I like you too Leah. I trust his judge of character." She said, "Thanks but he hasn't always liked me, you know?" Bella answered honestly, "Yeah, I know but he does now so he must have gotten to know you a little better." She smiled and said, "Thanks Bella." Bella wasn't sure if she liked or trusted Leah, or if she had simply just decided to, "Keep your enemies closer." She knew that Leah wasn't her enemy but she knew that she could potentially be her enemy if she tried anything with Jake, so she was going to watch her closely.

Bella and Leah were quiet the rest of the way back to Charlie's. She wasn't sure if that meant anything put she was thankful for it. When they got back Leah and Bella said their good-byes. Bella wanted to tell her not to be talking to her boyfriend anymore but of course she wouldn't actually say that to her at this point. She was relieved to realize that as Leah was pulling out headed back toward La Push as Jake was coming from town and pulling into Charlie's driveway so they didn't even get to wave.

Bella was glad that she wouldn't have to be worrying about whether Leah and Jake were talking on the phone and what they might be saying if they were. She decided not to mention that she knew he and Leah had spoken on the phone; she had to believe that Leah had been honest about her conversation with Jake. She had made it sound completely innocent, so there was no sense in bringing it up to Jake. However Bella briefly wondered how she would feel if Jake didn't mention it to her; she didn't want Jake hiding things from her.

Jake got out of Billy's car with a worried look on his face. He said, "Hey Bells." He leaned down and gave her a slow, sweet kiss. He pulled back far enough to look into Bella's eyes, he was trying to read her. Bella decided to take him out of his misery. "It's fine Jake. Really!" He said, "I called here earlier and Sue said that you were with Leah. Why did she take you to the store; why didn't you call me?" Bella replied, "I couldn't do that Jake. Sue had already asked Leah to come over just to take me to the grocery store. I thought that it would have been rude to do that." He replied, "You're right! You always think of other people, don't you Bells?" She answered honestly, "I'm not sure about all of that, but Sue is good for my dad and I want to be appreciative at least. I feel better knowing that there is someone is here taking care of him and keeping him straight." Jake leaned down and kissed her again. He whispered, "Do you think that you and I could slip off for a little while before everyone gets here?" I answered playfully, "I think that I could make that happen baby!" Bella raised her eye brows a couple of times and continued, "Just let me prepare my pie and I'll set the timer. I'll ask Sue to take it out for me if we don't make it back in time and I will tell her that I will set the table and warm up some of the food while she goes home to get ready.

Bella ran inside and started preparing her pie. It took a little prep time because it is a Homemade Apple Cinnamon Pie with real pie crust, not store bought. Jake was getting impatient on the inside but he kept it hidden well he thought. Bella put the pie in the oven and set the timer. She grabbed Jake's hand and went to the car. She said, "Where are we going?" Jake replied, "It's a place I like to go… I go there when I have a lot on my mind. I love the beach too, but this place is a mine. I've never seen anyone else out there and that is one reason why I love it so much. You have to go a ways down a trail but it is worth the short hike, I promise." Bella smiled and said, "Let's go!"

Jake said, "Wait Bells. Get your phone. I want you to show me the pictures that you took at the bonfire last night. I was thinking that I might want to get some printed and put them in frames for us to have while we are apart from one another." Bella's heart sunk until Jake said, "No worries baby! Winter break will be here before you know it." Jake was trying to keep the conversation as light as possible because he didn't want Bella to worry.

Bella ran up to her room and got her IPhone quickly, she was back in less than a minute. They got in the car and he watched over her shoulder anticipating seeing their pictures. She turned her phone on, unlocked it with her finger and a SEX PICTURE popped up. She gasped for air and looked at Jake. He had a smirk on his face and she was immediately humiliated. "Jake… I…um… I. I don't know how…" She stopped to think and placed her face in her palms for a second to collect her thoughts. Jake said, "Bella? It's okay… I swear." She lifted her head from her hands and said, "I am so humiliated! I'm not a pervert, I Promise." Jake said, "I know that Bells." She looked up at him and even though his words were kind and he was saying what she needed to hear, he was still sporting the same smirk that he had been wearing before. She said, "Jake, I was just searching for a little information…" He said, "Well, did you find what you were looking for?" She replied, "Well, yes actually." He said, "Well baby… I would love to hear what you learned from your research!" She replied, "Oh, God. This is beyond humiliating Jake… really?" Jake said, "Bella, look at me." She obeyed and looked at him. His face was sweet and kind but there was still a hint of that sexy smirk that was driving her crazy and embarrassing her at the same time. He lifted her chin and said, "You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me and you definitely shouldn't ever feel humiliated in front of me. I love you and I respect you. I know what you were doing and I think that it is amazing. Luckily, I have Embry to teach me the 'birds and the bees' – in way more detail than any parent would - that is for sure. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known what to do with you last night ." Bella asked, "Did you ask Embry about sex hoping that we were going to have sex." After reading that information and looking at all of those pictures, it was amazing how easy it was for her to say the word, 'sex' to Jake. It slipped right off her tongue without any hesitation whatsoever. Jake replied, "Embry told me everything he told me about how to please a girl in detail on my thirteenth birthday and he gave me a box of condoms…can you believe that?" Bella was surprised a little. "Well, not really but I'm not complaining." He grinned from ear to ear.

Jake was curious so he decided just to ask, "Bells…do you mind telling me exactly what kinds of things you were looking for on those sites? If you don't want to talk about it, I understand." Bella didn't say anything, she needed to think about what she was going to say and Jacob was patient with her. She began, "Jake, it's just that you already seem to know what you are doing. You seem to already know how to please me and I am clueless. I was just trying to learn some things and get myself comfortable with the idea of sex because I feel like we are headed in that direction after last night; that's all." Jake replied, "The truth is that I do know some things, but there was no way for Embry to teach me everything there is to know. Do you know what I am saying? There are some things that can't be explained in words. I am going to have to feel my way through it just like anyone else and we'll be learning together as we go. My point is, don't think that I am 'experienced' because I'm not. I just listened very closely to what Embry told me and luckily it seems to me that he really knew what he was talking about." Bella said, "Well, you seem to know the buttons to hit to drive me absolutely crazy. I have never felt anything like that before in my life." Jake said, "I'm surprised that you have never helped yourself have an orgasm before." Bella immediately blushed. She said, "Um…" Jake said, "Bells? Look at me." He remembered that until last night she had never experienced an orgasm before so he was curious. Bella looked at him and she seemed to be blushing even more. He smirked again and said, "Last night? Really? We had just… you had just had one Bella!" She replied, "I know that Jake but when I went to bed I laid there and began replaying what we did on the beach in my mind and the next thing I knew…" Jake laughed and said, "Wow! What else can I say?" Jake shook his head a little and said, "Let's go Bells. Are you ready for me to show you my favorite place in the world?" Bella answered, "Please!" He wasn't sure if that meant 'Please' – I'm embarrassed and I want to get the hell out of here. OR 'Please' - I need to be alone with you right now!" Either way, he was ready to go too.

On the way, Jake wondered about what Embry said. Jake began contemplating his thoughts. 'It might not just be about intercourse that made you, '_keep wanting it_' once you have done it… it might be the touching and the orgasms too that make you, '_keep wanting it'_. It is obvious that Bella wants and needs to experience the things that I helped her experience on the beach last night…she has already started helping herself get that feeling again, she is bound to want to be touched and shown affection again.' He thought to himself.

Jake realized that his theory and entire reasoning for waiting to have sex was shot to hell. Last night he had given her the sexual experience that she would continue to crave. She could achieve it with or without having intercourse, however the intensity would be heightened during sex, he was certain of it because Embry had explained that and so far Embry had been right about all of his instructions. It was too late to change what had already happened and Jake knew that he wouldn't change it even if he could. He loved it as much as she did! He wanted it again…he wanted it everyday. Was it still important to wait now or have we already passed the point of no return?' He thought that he knew the answer to his own question, 'It was too late to turn back now. The sexual need is already apparent in both of us, sex probably wouldn't make it much worse, if at all. Still, we are very young…maybe we should wait anyway. Maybe we should hold off so that sex won't become such a huge part of our lives, sex would surely complicate things even more. I'm just not sure what is the right decision for us.' Jake rambled to himself.

They drove about five miles and then pulled into a little road that no one ever drives on. There was an opening there and Jake parked Billy's car there. It was completely hidden from there main road. Jake gave her a quick peck on the lips and Bella thought it was really cute that he was so excited to show her his special place. He said, "Sit tight!" She nodded and waited. She heard the trunk open and shut before he came around to open her door. He had blankets in his hand. He grabbed her hand to pull her out and said, "Come on Bells. I have a blanket to sit on and one in case you get cold." She thanked him and they took off down a trail that went through the woods.

Was there a reason Jake didn't mention talking to Leah on the phone? Will Bella trust Jake blindly or will she end up asking Jake about the phone conversation? Should they 'wait' or not?

Tell me what you think…

Thanks for reading!

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Hugs to all my wolfgirls!


	5. Chapter 5

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER FIVE

'Apple Pie is Sweet'

Bella wasn't exactly scared but she was definitely feeling anxious. It was a little bit of an incline and her breathing was labored, however it wasn't from the climb, it was most definitely due to the anxiety. Jacob said, "Bells. I told you that you don't ever have to worry when you are with me. I will always take care of you. You are worrying your pretty little head for no reason honey. I'm not the big bad wolf, you know?" She grinned and nodded before Jake swept her off of her feet and carried her the rest of the way in his strong arms. She was very impressed by his strength and endurance. She had read about endurance this morning and she knew that having good endurance during sex is really good.

'Stoppit Bella!' She told herself.

They made it to a small but open area and there was a rock that overlooked First Beach. Jake carried her to the over look which had a wooden fence built in front of it so that you couldn't fall off the side of the cliff. Bella asked, "If no one ever comes up here, why did they bother to build a fence up here." Jake smiled at her observation and answered, "Well, I had planned to bring you here, so this morning I brought everything I needed to build a fence and I built it myself so that you wouldn't fall over." She thought it was sweet but she had to say it, "So, you think I'm a klutz huh?" He just smiled. He was tempted to mention her tripping and Paul catching her, in the third grade and again at the beach the night before but he didn't want to ruin their time together…she was leaving tomorrow so their time together was short and precious.

He said, "I'm going to miss you so damn much Bells. I'm already aching in my chest." She looked down and didn't say anything. He lifted her chin and noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. He kissed it away and said, "Hey now. Let's enjoy our time together." He laid the blanket out. He asked her if she was cold and she told him no that she was okay for now. He sat down and pulled her between his legs so that she would be able to lay back against his strong chest; he knew that he could keep her warm with his body heat. He said, "So, what do you think about Renee's boyfriend?" She said, "He's actually pretty okay. Phil is good to Renee. He isn't living with us, he has is own place but he and Renee see each other a lot. She is different when he is around, different in a good way."

Jake asked, "Have you started to forgive Renee yet for making you leave with her? Bella answered, "No! She is just as selfish as she was when we left Fork's. She won't even discuss the possibility of my coming back to live with my dad and my dad won't let me stay with him unless she agrees. I don't understand why he cares what she thinks; she obviously couldn't care less what he wants. He never wanted any of this, it was all my mom. I miss you and my dad more than I ever imagined I would. I thought that time would ease the pain and the separation would become easier, but I was wrong, it only becomes more and more difficult." Bella let her face fall into her palms and shook her head back and forth trying to force back the tears that were forming.

Jake told her that he completely understood, then quickly changed the subject in hopes of distracting her. He could have said more but continuing to talk about it would have only made their last day together more difficult and that wasn't why he had brought her here.

Jake had brought her here so that they could privately talk about their lives with one another. He wanted to share this place with her and hoped that it would bring her comfort as it had done for him so many times over the years. He never wanted them to loose their connection of wanting to share the deepest parts of themselves with one another; confide into one another the things that they would never tell another sole. That had always been a bond that they both shared, ever since they were little kids. Jake never wanted to lose that.

Jake began, "Tell me about school Bells." She lifted her face from her hands and looked across the ocean as she answered. "Well, it is a big school with a whole lot of people in it. It is very easy not to get lost there and to be honest I have really liked that part. I can just go there, do my work, study and not worry about socializing if I don't want to." Jake became extremely worried about her, he didn't want her to become introverted. Bella had always been a little shy but once you got to know her, she was a funny girl and a great friend. He didn't want her to lose her feisty spirit by becoming so withdrawn.

Jake said, "So, you haven't met anyone at all? Not even any girls that you have things in common with?"

Bella thought for a minute and said, "Well, there is this one girl. We are library aids during 5th period at school and we talk sometimes. She has asked me so many times to go to football games with her or out for pizza with her group of friends, but I always make up some reason not to go." Jake asked, "Why? You should go and have fun. Just because you get out and have some fun doesn't mean that you love me or your dad any less. We want you to be happy, besides it will make the time go by faster until we can see each other again." Bella thought about what Jake said and then she replied, "Well, maybe I will. Her family is really into sports, her twin brother is the quarterback for our high school football team and he has won state the past two years in wrestling. He pretty much excels in everything he does I guess. He and Erika are really close. She wants to go to every one of his games and wrestling matches this year. They also hang out with a lot of the same people; he is very protective of her, he told her that it was because he is older by 1 minute and 53 seconds."

Jake began to get nervous about this 'twin brother' that Bella was speaking so highly of. He also realized something that didn't make sense to him. He asked, "Did you skip a grade? I didn't realize that..." Bella interrupted and said, "I'm sorry! With so much going on with Renee, I just never thought to tell you. My teachers at Fork's sent my transfer information to the high school in Jacksonville, but they attached a request that I be tested to see what grade I should be placed in due to my test scores. I tested there and they placed me in the twelfth grade this year. I'm really sorry that it slipped my mind Jake." He said, "It's okay. That is awesome that you are going to finish a year earlier than you thought."

Jake paused trying to find the right words to ask his next question. He didn't want to come across as the weak, insecure boyfriend but he had to know. "Bells, how well do you know Erica's brother?" He decided beating around the bush was pointless, she could read him like a book anyway. Fishing around for the answer would make him seem weak, too weak… he decided to just man up and be honest about what concerned him.

Bella answered, "I only know what Erica has told me. I have seen him but I have never met him. He is in my grade but he has been dating the same girl for the past four years. He is crazy about her from what Erica says and the girl is sweet and extremely pretty. You have nothing to worry about Jake. I promise." Bella felt Jake relax behind her and she was glad that they had put that worry behind them. Bella grabbed his hands and pulled his arms around her sides. She was still leaning on his chest and she felt completely warm, she noticed that his body temperature had increased even more since she had been away and she was glad in that moment.

Jake said, "I'm sorry that I felt like I needed to ask you about him. I know that it was me who said that it was a good idea not to, 'draw lines'. I haven't changed my mind because I couldn't stand the thought of one of us crushing the other by crossing a promised line. However, just because I don't want to draw the lines doesn't mean that it doesn't scare the hell out of me not to have that promise as security. I only want you Bella and I will continue to refer to you as my girlfriend, I won't even share with anyone else that we didn't make promises to one another." Bella said, "I feel the same way Jake. You are my best friend and my boyfriend. I want everyone to know it!"

Jake was so happy to hear her words and she was just as thrilled to hear his. Jake said, "So, you are going to go out with Erika sometime?" Bella answered, "Yes. I think that I will. Thanks for encouraging me and making me feel better about having fun, even though we aren't together. It will feel good not to be down every minute of every day." Jake was happy to hear her say that.

Bella whispered, "I love you Jake…I miss you already!" Jake turned her around to face him and she wrapped her legs around his body. He kissed her lips, placed his forehead against hers and whispered back, "Me too Bells. I can already feel the emptiness in my chest." They stayed their with their bodies smashed together, the heat they were producing together felt amazing with the cool air stirring around them.

Jake slipped his hand under her hair at the base of her neck and guided her backwards until she was lying down on her back. He laid next to her and began kissing her, this time more fervently and she immediately reacted to it. He got on his knees and began kissing her neck, he stuck his nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. He loved her scent…strawberries and vanilla. He told her how great she smelled and he could feel her smile against his lips.

Bella lifted her hands into the air so that he knew she wanted him to take her shirt off. She had her new turquoise bra on and she wanted him to see it. He looked into her eyes and asked, "Are you sure?" She nodded and he honored her silent request. He was still unsure about where he wanted this to go but for now he was not stopping anything and either was she. He looked at her bra and liked what he saw. He had never seen or even realized that she had that much cleavage, she never flaunted it…ever. However, there it was, right in front of his eyes begging for his kisses. He began kissing her small but bursting at the seams breasts, the part that was exposed anyway. She began to moan in a way that stimulated his craving. He lightly grazed his teeth over her flesh which caused her to moan in a way that screamed sex.

She reached down and unbuttoned her jeans remembering that she had shaved and she wanted him to see her badly. She unzipped her jeans and lifted her butt in the air so that Jake could pull them off of her and he did. He saw her skimpy matching panties and thought he had died and gone to heaven. He said, "Miss Bella Swan, you planned this!" She smiled and said, "Well, I hoped for it!" He began planting kisses all over her stomach and could smell her arousal from where he was. He inhaled her scent and immediately had to unzip his pants again to give himself some extra room. Bella remembered that from the night before and she giggled. She said, "Giving yourself a little extra space Jake?" He nodded over her tummy. She reached over his back and pulled his shirt off, revealing his strong muscled up body. She slowly ran her fingers over his chest and over his not six, but eight pack. She thought she would come unglued and so did he.

She tugged at his jeans so he obeyed her third silent command by removing them without saying a word, still unsure of how far he was going to let this go. He wanted desperately to go all the way with her but he just had a nagging feeling that it would be better to wait. He just wasn't sure and he wasn't certain that his mind could win the fight over his body anyway.

He could have hammered nails with his arousal at this point and he was throbbing harder than ever. He could already feel his body producing fluids that needed to be released. He considered reaching for a condom, they were in his wallet and very accessible. He knew that if he put one on the decision would already be made and it would be next to impossible to stop.

He looked in her eyes, laid a finger on the clasp that held her bra together and silently asked for permission. Thankfully, she nodded and gave him the go ahead. He unhooked her bra in one swift motion and her breasts sprang free. He thought they were beautiful; he had never seen a girls breasts in real life before but he knew that Bella's were perfect. They weren't real big but they were full and perky…perfect for her body size and shape. She had pink nipples and he couldn't wait to get them in his mouth. He took her right nipple in his mouth and rubbed the other in a circular motion driving her to the brink and then stopping.

She pushed his head lower and told him to pull her panties off. He did as she asked and when he saw her bare mound he said, "Oh dear God! Bella…you are killing me here…I am assuming your, 'research' motivated this decision." She only grinned and nodded. He said, "I love it!" He wanted to kiss her there but he resisted that for now. Eventually he wanted everything with her but he was nervous as hell; he did well hiding it thankfully, she couldn't tell at all. He looked extremely excited, fueled by need but she didn't see any signs of nervousness.

He remembered exactly what to do to drive her absolutely crazy and he took on the challenge. He found her bundle of nerves with his finger and expertly massaged over them. He did that for a couple of minutes, until her moans were growing in longevity, soon she was moaning constantly. When they began to get a little louder he placed a his pinky into her core slowly, remembering that she was extremely tight due to her innocence. He moved it in and out switching to his ring finger and then his middle finger. He thought that if he started with his smallest finger and worked up to his largest it would be more comfortable for her. He decided that she was feeling full enough so he decided one finger was enough for now; he worried briefly that he would hurt her when he finally penetrated her with his thickness and length. He continued with his fingers on his right hand and reached to rub her nipples with left. She began to climb higher and higher, this time he watched her heaving breast move up and down with every rapid deep breath she took. Suddenly, her orgasm began and he carefully entered a second finger hoping that having her orgasm would help her accept it. He placed his nose on her bare mound and inhaled deeply; although he craved going down on her, he didn't change his mind about holding back. He thought baby steps would be much better for them, plus this was all new to him and he needed to take things slowly as well. He slipped his fingers out of her and brought them to him mouth, rubbing them on his lips and then licking them. He wanted to taste and smell her on him for as long as he possibly could.

She knew that she could have easily fallen back and gone to sleep but instead she said, "Did you bring protection Jake?" He said yes baby but let's not…let's wait for that. She got quiet and then said, "You don't want me?" Jake replied, "Dear God, yes. I want you more than anything in the world… you have no idea. I just think that we should save that for another time. We are young and we have plenty of time Bella. We can explore each other. We can learn how to please each other. We can learn it all together. I really think that we should wait. It is already going to be hard for us to be without one another for so many reasons. If we have actual sex I think that it will be one more craving that we will have to do without. The main reason though is because we are so young; you have already exceeded my expectations this weekend; I never expected to experience any of these things yet. Do you think that it would be okay to wait for this?" She nodded and said, "I will think about it all the time!" Jake smiled and said, "I will too baby... you have no idea. I think that asking you to wait for this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want it so badly."

Jake told her that they better get going but she said they weren't finished. She grabbed his navy boxer briefs and pulled them down his legs and off of his feet. She took hold of him and began squeezing and pulling rapidly. She wasn't ready to do some of the things that she had read about; there would be plenty of time for that. She hoped that Jake wouldn't be disappointed but she felt he would understand because he held back in that area as well. She wanted to but just couldn't seem to get up the nerve… she figured that Jake felt the same way. As much as she wanted to have sex with Jake, the thought of it scared the hell out of her so, in a way, she was thankful he wanted to wait. Honestly, it scared her just to look at the length and size of Jake; she glanced but couldn't bring herself to really look hard.

Soon, Jake had rolled over and was squirting his hot fluids out on the ground. They got dressed and held each other in silence for several minutes before Jake said, "I respect you Bells. I love you and anything that we share together is precious to me. I just want you to know that." She hugged him tighter than she ever had before and told him that she loved him too.

She said, "Jake, I know that I am young and so are you, but I don't feel young. I take care of my mom in Jacksonville like I am the mom and she is the teenager. I practically run the household. I grocery shop, cook, wash most of the clothes, remind Renee to pay the bills and so many other things that I can't even begin to list. I'm not the typical 12th grader, I will tell you that. Sometimes I wish that I could be, but some people just have to grow up quicker than others I guess. I am happy with all of the decisions we have made and I don't feel uncomfortable about anything that we have shared." Jake smiled and said, "Me too. I am extremely happy Bells…thank you for making me a happy man."

Bella just had to ask one more thing before they left. She said, "You know Jake. You could pass for a 21 year's old easily. What is up with that? What happened to you this year?" Jake grinned, proud of how he looked but unsure of how his appetite for grown up things had become more apparent the more he matured. He said, "I don't know Bells. They say it's the bloodline and a Quileute thing or something…who knows for sure? I get the feeling they are holding something back from me and I am beginning to feel really weird when I listen to the histories of the tribe; I am not certain that any of that is related though. I don't feel like my dad and some all the guys are being completely honest with me when I question them about it all and it seems like they are always watching me as if they are expecting me to say or do something crazy at any moment. Who knows? Maybe I am just being paranoid." Bella wasn't sure about any of that but she knew that she loved Jake and he loved her; that was all she really needed to be sure of.

She and Jake got themselves situated and got Bella's hair back in place. Jake shook out and folded the blanket. They walked to the car hand in hand, in no time they were back at Charlie's. Dinner was at 6 o'clock and it was 4:30 pm now. Sue had left to go get dressed so she needed to get the table set and begin warming up the casseroles until Sue got back. Sue had already prepared everything so now it all just needed to be heated.

Luckily Charlie had put in double ovens since Sue had been around. She liked to cook for a crowd. The turkey was still baking in one of the ovens so all they had to do was warm the casseroles, green beans and potatoes. Then, they needed to make back the yeast rolls. Things were running right on schedule. Bella needed to heat up her pie too so it would be warm when it was time for dessert. She was going to serve Vanilla ice cream with it. Sue had made a pumpkin pie and a pecan pie. Bella knew that everyone was going to eat good tonight.

Bella busied herself working to set the table and warm the casseroles. Jake placed a couple of the casseroles in the oven for her before leaving to go get himself ready; Jake was also bringing his dad back with him. As soon as Sue came to relieve Bella, she went upstairs to get ready. She wanted to look extra nice for Jake. She decided that she wouldn't take another shower because she didn't want to wash her hair right before she used the curling wand on it. She knew the hair would hold curl a lot better if it wasn't too clean and soft.

Bella touched up her makeup and put on a little extra eyeliner, mascara and blush. She put on her red dress that hugged her curves perfectly and slipped on her black heels, then she added some lip gloss. Jacob text her and let her know that he would be leaving soon. He would probably show up ten minutes after she was finished.

When she came down the stairs she realized immediately that Jake and Billy were already back. Jake was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when she walked down. He was smiling from ear to ear. When she reached him he whispered into her ear, "Bells, you look amazing, I am so lucky." I smiled and said, "Thanks Jake. You don't look to bad yourself." Bella noticed Billy, her dad and especially Sue had a smirk on their face but they quickly turned away from them and got back to whatever they were doing, giving Jake and her some privacy.

Bella got really quiet and Jake immediately knew what she was thinking because she kept looking out the window from where they stood. He said, "Bells, it is going to be okay. Don't worry about Leah. I am not interested in Leah like that, even if she is interested in me. That will never happen, you are stuck with me woman!" Jake hugged her and she relaxed herself into the hug. Jake's arms held her in a way that made her feel completely comforted and safe. She was immediately back to her old self.

In just a little while Seth and Leah showed up. Seth looked just like Jake only smaller, he was a real cutie pie. He immediately came over and hugged Bella before he spoke to anyone else. He said, "Leah said that I would get to see you tonight. I'm Seth if you don't remember." Bella smiled, tousled his hair and said, "Of course I remember you Seth. How could I forget such a handsome face?" Seth looked at Jake and said, "Did you hear that Jake. Your girl thinks I'm handsome." Jake smiled and said, "Yeah. Yeah. Don't you have something to do kid?" Seth replied, "No. I'm good!" Jake laughed at him and kissed Bella on the cheek. She looked over at Leah and could feel herself completely tense up. Jake slipped his arm around her waist. She knew that he was trying to comfort her which she greatly appreciated. Bella realized that he was also trying to show Leah that he was in a committed relationship and that there was no chance of them getting together.

Bella began, "Hey Leah. Did you get to spend time with your friends today?" She looked irritated when she answered, "Yes. I met them in Forks for lunch and then we went to the movies." Bella replied, "That sounds like fun!" She asked, "What did you all do today?" Everyone seemed to tune in to hear her answer, "Jake took me on a hike. I didn't really have the shoes for it so he ended up carrying me a lot of the way. He didn't even get tired though." Bella looked at Jake and he smiled real big. He said, "Well, you don't weigh a lot Bells." She smiled and shook her head. She was thinking that it had more to do with his strength and endurance than her not weighing very much.

Soon, someone knocked at the door and Bella went to answer it. She opened it and there stood Paul Lahote. She said, "Hi Paul." Paul put his arms around her and squeezed firmly, but thankfully let go quickly. He said, "Hi. I hope I'm not intruding." She looked over at Jake and could see the tension in his body. He was not happy that Paul had wrapped her in a hug, a big hug at that.

Paul walked in and Leah announced that she had invited him for dinner. She said that they were going to Port Angeles later. Paul walked over to Jake and I; Jake's arm was around my waist again but he slipped his hand into mine, holding for dear life. Paul looked at Jake and said, "Jake." Jake replied, "Lahote."

Bella looked at Leah with a concerned look on my face and noticed that Leah was sporting a slight smirk on her face. Bella figured that she had invited Paul to annoy Jake. She immediately knew that life around Leah was going to be dramatic; right then and there Bella decided that she didn't trust Leah at all. She wasn't sure how devious she would turn out to be but she would be very observant when it came to Leah and she would always be on guard much like Jake is with Paul.

Soon, everyone was sitting down at the table. The way it worked out Jake and Bella sat across from Leah and Paul. Paul across from Bella and Leah across from Jake. 'How unfortunate!' Bella thought.

Jake reached for Bella's hand and held it over his lap. They did their best to focus on the conversations that the adults were having, joining in occasionally to make things seem less uncomfortable for everyone. Leah kept glancing at Jake and hanging on to every his every word like she was some lost puppy waiting for a bone to be thrown her way. Paul kept looking at Bella like he was looking into her soul. Paul made her nervous, very nervous. She didn't dislike him, she just didn't know him and wasn't sure how to take him.

After everyone ate, Sue and Bella got up and started getting things ready to serve dessert. Bella had warmed her pie and now it was the perfect temperature to serve. They asked everyone what kind of pie they wanted. Bella asked Jake if he would help her dip the ice cream and he of course was happy to help.

Sue and Bella sliced and served everyone their requests and Jake went around and put vanilla ice cream on everyone's plate. Bella finally asked Jake which kind of pie he would like to have and he smirked playfully before leaning in to whisper in my ear. "I want your pie of course! I will only ever eat your pie…if you know what I mean Bells." Bella immediately turned three sheets of red and looked up at the group. It didn't seem like any of them were paying Jake and Bella any attention with the exception of Charlie. She knew that he had noticed the blush on her face and was curious about what had caused it. Bella playfully slapped Jake and said, "Really Jake?" Jake replied, "Your apple pie of course. I wouldn't think of eating anyone else's pie." Bella smiled and they both sat down to eat their dessert.

Everyone seemed to enjoy their dessert and soon Billy announced that he was tired and ready to go home. Bella's heart immediately dropped because she thought that she was going to have to say good night to Jake. Jake noticed Bella's worried expression and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. He said, "I'm going to take my dad home; I will be back before you know it. I don't plan on saying good-night to you any time soon; besides, I have a surprise for you at 12 am. She smiled and figured that it had something to do with her birthday.

As soon as Jake left, Bella began helping Sue by cleaning off the table. Paul quickly got up and began helping her by getting all of the glasses and placing them in the sink. He got the trashcan and brought it closer to the table so they could throw all the trash from the table away easily. Bella looked up at him and smiled shyly before looking up to see what Leah was doing. She was staring back and forth between her and Paul with a very irritated look on her face. Bella said, "Why doesn't she like me? I've never done anything to her!" Paul smiled sweetly and said, "Don't worry about her Bella. She is just jealous because she likes Jake and he has always loved you. It isn't what you have done, it is what she feels you have taken from her." Bella heatedly replied, "I can't take Jake from her because she never had him in the first place." Paul relied, "I know. You didn't take Jake from her but you took the chance of having Jake." Paul walked up to Bella's side and said, "Bella, can we talk alone for a minute?" Bella said, "I don't know Paul. I don't think that is a good idea." He said, "I know how Jake feels about me but I promise, you have nothing to worry about with me. I really need to talk to you…just for a few minutes. Please, Bella."

Bella looked around. Leah and walked out front and everyone else seemed to have split into groups and were in conversations or debates on different subjects so she figured none of them would miss her. She said, "Okay but just for a few minutes. Jake will be back in a little while. Let's go out on the back porch where it's quiet.

Bella doubted that talking alone with Paul was a good

idea but she had already agreed to it, so she wasn't going to change her mind now. She knew it was going to just be an innocent conversation anyway, at least on her part.

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Bella wasn't exactly scared but she was definitely feeling anxious. It was a little bit of an incline and her breathing was labored, however it wasn't from the climb, it was most definitely due to the anxiety. Jacob said, "Bells. I told you that you don't ever have to worry when you are with me. I will always take care of you. You are worrying your pretty little head for no reason honey. I'm not the big bad wolf, you know?" She grinned and nodded before Jake swept her off of her feet and carried her the rest of the way in his strong arms. She was very impressed by his strength and endurance. She had read about endurance this morning and she knew that having good endurance during sex is really good.

They made it to a small but open area and there was a rock that overlooked First Beach. Jake carried her to the over look which had a wooden fence built in front of it so that you couldn't fall off the side of the cliff. I asked, "If no one comes up here, why did they bother to build a fence up here." Jake smiled at her observation and answered, "Well, I had planned to bring you here, so this morning I brought everything I needed to build a fence and I built it myself so that you wouldn't fall over." She thought it was sweet but she had to say it, "So, you think I'm a klutz?" He just smiled. He was tempted to mention Paul, her tripping and him catching her, him going to middle school with her and all of that but he didn't want to ruin their time together…she was leaving tomorrow so their time together was short and precious.

He said, "I'm going to miss you so damn much Bells. I'm already aching in my chest." She looked down and didn't say anything. He lifted her chin and noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. He kissed it away and said, "Hey now. Let's enjoy our time together." He laid the blanket out. He asked her if she was cold and she told him no that she was okay for now. He sat down and pulled her between his legs so that she would be able to lay back against his strong chest; he knew that he could keep her warm with his body heat. He said, "So, what do you think about Renee's boyfriend?" She said, "He's actually pretty okay. Phil is good to Renee. He isn't living with us, he has is own place but he and Renee see each other a lot. She is different when he is around, different in a good way."

Jake asked, "Have you started to forgive Renee yet for making you leave with her? Bella answered, "No! She is just as selfish as she was when we left Fork's. She won't even discuss the possibility of my coming back to live with my dad and my dad won't let me stay with him unless she agrees. I don't understand why he cares what she thinks; she obviously couldn't care less what he wants. He never wanted any of this, it was all my mom. I miss you and my dad more than I ever imagined I would. I thought that time would ease the pain and the separation would become easier, but I was wrong, it only becomes more and more difficult." Bella let her face fall into her palms and shook her head back and forth trying to force back the tears that were forming.

Jake told her that he completely understood, then quickly changed the subject in hopes of distracting her. He could have said more but continuing to talk about it would have only made their last day together more difficult and that wasn't why he had brought her here.

Jake had brought her here so that they could privately talk about their lives with one another. He wanted to share this place with her and hoped that it would bring her comfort as it had done for him so many times over the years. He never wanted them to loose their connection of wanting to share the deepest parts of themselves with one another; confide into one another the things that they would never tell another sole. That had always been a bond that they both shared, ever since they were little kids. Jake never wanted to lose that.

Jake began, "Tell me about school Bells." She lifted her face from her hands and looked across the ocean as she answered. "Well, it is a big school with a whole lot of people in it. It is very easy not to be noticed there and to be honest I have really liked that part. I can just go there, do my work, study and not worry about socializing if I don't want to." Jake became extremely worried about her, he didn't want her to become introverted. Bella had always been a little shy but once you got to know her, she was a funny girl and a great friend. He didn't want her to lose her feisty spirit by becoming so withdrawn.

Jake said, "So, you haven't met anyone at all? Not even any girls that you have things in common with?"

Bella thought for a minute and said, "Well, there is this one girl. We are library aids during 5th period at school and we talk sometimes. She has asked me so many times to go to football games with her or out for pizza with her group of friends, but I always make up some reason not to go." Jake asked, "Why? You should go and have fun. Just because you get out and have some fun doesn't mean that you love me or your dad any less. We want you to be happy, besides it will make the time go by faster until we can see each other again." Bella said, "Well, maybe I will. Her family is really into sports, her brother is the quarterback for our high school football team and he has won state the past two years in wrestling. He pretty much excels in everything he does I guess. He and Erika are really close. She wants to go to every one of his games and wrestling matches. They also hang out with a lot of the same people; he is very protective of her."

Jake began to get nervous about this 'brother' that Bella was speaking so highly of. He also realized something that didn't make sense to him. He asks, "Did you skip a grade? I didn't realize you were going to high school now." Bella said, "I'm sorry! With so much going on with Renee, I just never thought to tell you. My teachers at Fork's sent my transfer information to the middle school in Jacksonville, but they attached a request that I be tested to see what grade I should be placed in due to my test scores. I tested there and they placed me in the ninth grade this year. I'm really sorry that it slipped my mind Jake." He said, "It's okay. That is awesome that you are going to finish a year earlier than you thought."

Jake paused trying to find the right words to ask his next question. He didn't want to come across as the weak, insecure boyfriend but he had to know. "Bells, how well do you know Erica's brother?" He decided beating around the bush was pointless, she could read him like a book anyway. Fishing around for the answer would make him seem weak, too weak just to man up and be honest about what concerned him.

Bella answered, "I only know what Erica has told me. I have seen him but I have never met him. He is in the eleventh grade and he has been dating the same girl for the past four years. He is crazy about her from what Erica says and the girl is sweet and extremely pretty. You have nothing to worry about Jake, I promise." Bella felt Jake relax behind her and she was glad that they had put that worry behind them. Bella grabbed his hands and pulled his arms around her sides. She was still leaning on his chest and she felt completely warm, she noticed that his body temperature had increased even more since she had been away. However, she had know idea what the reason for the change was.

Jake said, "I'm sorry that I felt like I needed to ask you about him. I know that it was me who said that it was a good idea not to, 'draw lines'. I haven't changed my mind because I couldn't stand the thought of one of us crushing the other by crossing it, however just because I don't want to draw the lines doesn't mean that it doesn't scare the hell out of me not to have that promise as security. I only want you Bella and I will continue to refer to you as my girlfriend, I won't even share with anyone else that we didn't make promises to one another." Bella said, "I feel the same way Jake. You are my best friend and my boyfriend. I want everyone to know it!"

Jake was so happy to hear her words and she was just as thrilled to hear his. Jake said, "So, you are going to go out with Erika sometime?" Bella answered, "Yes. I think that I will. Thanks for encouraging me and making me feel better about having fun even though we aren't together. It will feel good not to be down every minute of every day." Jake was happy to hear her say that.

Bella whispered, "I love you Jake…I miss you already!" Jake turned her around to face him and she wrapped her legs around his body. He kissed her lips, placed his forehead against hers and whispered back, "Me too Bells. I can already feel the emptiness in my chest." They stayed their with their bodies smashed together, the heat they were producing together felt amazing with the cool air stirring around them.

Jake slipped his hand under her hair at the base of her neck and guided her back until she was lying down on her back. He laid next to her and began kissing her, this time more fervently and she immediately reacted to it. He got on his knees and began kissing her neck, he stuck his nose in her hair and inhaled her scent. He loved her scent…strawberries and vanilla. He told her how great she smelled and he could feel her smile on his lips.

Bella lifted her hands into the air so that he knew she wanted him to take her shirt off. She had her new turquoise bra on and she wanted him to see it. He looked into her eyes and asked, "Are you sure?" She nodded and he honored her silent request. He was still unsure about where he wanted this to go but for now he was not stopping anything and either was she. He looked at her bra and liked what he saw. He had never seen or even realized that she had that much cleavage, she never flaunted it…ever. However, there it was, right in front of his eyes begging for his kisses. He began kissing her small but bursting at the seams breasts, the part that was exposed anyway. She began to moan in a way that stimulated his craving. He lightly grazed his teeth over her flesh which caused her to moan in a way that screamed sex.

She reached down and unbuttoned her jeans remembering that she had shaved and she wanted badly for him to see. She unzipped her jeans and lifted her butt in the air so that Jake could pull them off of her and he did. He saw her skimpy matching panties and thought he had died and gone to heaven. He said, "Miss Bella Swan, you planned this!" She smiled and said, "Well, I hoped for it!" He began planting kisses all over her stomach and could smell her arousal from where he was. He inhaled her scent and immediately had to unzip his pants again to give himself some extra room. Bella remembered that from the night before and she giggled. She said, "Giving yourself a little extra space Jake?" He nodded over her tummy. She reached over his back and pulled his shirt off, revealing his strong muscled up body. She slowly ran her fingers over his chest and over his not six, but eight pack. She thought she would come unglued and so did he.

She tugged at his jeans so he obeyed her silent command by removing them without saying a word, still unsure of how far he was going to let this go. He wanted desperately to go all the way with her but he just had a nagging feeling that it would be better to wait. He just wasn't sure and he wasn't certain that his mind could win the fight over his body anyway.

He could have hammered nails with his arousal at this point and he was throbbing harder than ever. He could already feel his body producing fluids that needed to be released. He considered reaching for a condom, they were in his wallet and very accessible. He knew that if he put one on the decision would already be made and it would be next to impossible to stop.

He looked in her eyes, laid a finger on the clasp that held her bra together and silently asked for permission. Thankfully, she nodded and gave him the go ahead. He unhooked her bra in one swift motion and her breasts sprang free. He thought they were beautiful; he had never seen a girls breasts in real life before but he knew that Bella's were perfect. They weren't real big but they were full and perky…perfect for her body size and shape. She had pink nipples and he couldn't wait to get them in his mouth. He took her right nipple in his mouth and rubbed the other in a circular motion driving her to the brink and then stopping.

She pushed his head lower and told him to pull her panties off. He did as she asked and when he saw her bare mound he said, "Oh dear God! Bella…you are killing me here…I am assuming your, 'research' motivated this decision." She only grinned and nodded. He said, "I love it!" He couldn't help it he had to at least kiss it, he wanted everything with her but he was nervous as hell; she couldn't tell that though, he looked extremely excited, fueled by need but she didn't see any signs of nervousness.

He remembered exactly what to do to drive her absolutely crazy and he took on the challenge. He found her bundle of nerves with his tongue this time and expertly massaged her over them. He did that for a couple of minutes, until her moans were growing in longevity until she was moaning constantly. When they began to get a little louder he placed a his pinky into her core slowly, remembering that she was extremely tight due to her innocence. He moved it in and out switching to his ring finger and then his middle finger. He thought that he would start with his smallest finger and work up to his largest thinking that it would make her more comfortable. He decided that she was feeling full enough so he decided one finger was enough for now; he worried briefly that he would hurt her when he finally penetrated her with his thickness and length. He continued with his tongue and reached to rub her nipples with his other hand. She began to climb higher and higher, this time he watched her heaving breast move up and down with every rapid deep breath she took. Suddenly, her orgasm began and I sucked her core until it was perfectly clean.

I knew that she could have easily fallen back and gone to sleep but instead she said, "Did you bring protection Jake?" He said yes baby but let's not…let's wait for that. She got quiet and then said, "You don't want me?" Jake replied, "Dear God, yes. I want you more than anything in the world… you have no idea. I just think that we should save that for another time. We are young and we have plenty of time Bella. We can explore each other. We can learn how to please each other. We can learn it all together in time. I really think that we should wait. It is already going to be hard for us to be without one another for so many reasons. If we have actual sex I think that it will be one more craving that we will have to do without. The main reason though is because we are so young; we have already shared ourselves and done things for one another that a lot of older people haven't experienced before. Do you think that it would be okay to wait for this?" She nodded and said, "I will think about it all the time!" Jake smiled and said, "I will too baby... you have no idea. I think that asking you to wait for this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I want it so badly."

Jake told her that they better get going but she said they weren't finished. She grabbed his navy boxer briefs and pulled them down his legs and off of his feet. She took hold of him and began squeezing and pulling rapidly. She wasn't ready to do some of the things that she had read about; there would be plenty of time for that. She hoped that Jake wouldn't be disappointed that she hadn't done for him what he had done for her; she just couldn't get up the nerve. It scared her and as much as she wanted to have sex with Jake, the thought of that scared her as well. Honestly, it scared her just to look at the length and size of Jake; she glanced but couldn't bring herself to really look hard.

Soon, Jake had rolled over and was squirting his hot fluids out on the ground. They got dressed and held each other in silence for several minutes before Jake said, "I respect you Bells. I love you and anything that we share together is precious to me. I just want you to know that." She hugged him tighter than she ever had before and told him that she loved him too. She thanked him for helping her experience incredible things.

She said, "Jake, I know that I am young and so are you, but I don't feel young. I take care of my mom in Jacksonville like I am the mom and she is the teenager. I practically run the household. I grocery shop, cook, wash most of the clothes, remind Renee to pay the bills and so many other things that I can't even begin to list. I'm not the typical 9th grader, I will tell you that. Sometimes I wish that I could be, but some people just have to grow up quicker than others I guess. I am happy with all of the decisions we have made and I don't feel uncomfortable about anything that we have shared." Jake smiled and said, "Me too. I am extremely happy Bells…thank you for making me a happy man."

Bella just had to ask one more thing before they left. She said, "You know Jake. You could pass for a 21 year old man easily. What is up with that? What happened to you this year?" Jake grinned, proud of how he looked but unsure of how his appetite for grown up things had become more apparent the more he grew to look like a man. He said, "I don't know Bells. They say it's the bloodline and a Quilete thing. I get the feeling they are holding something back from me and I am beginning to feel really weird when I listen to the histories of the tribe; I am not certain that any of that is related though. I don't feel like my dad and some all the guys are being completely honest with me when I question them about it all and it seems like they are always watching me as if they are expecting me to say or do something crazy at any moment. Who knows? Maybe I am being paranoid." Bella wasn't sure about any of that but she knew that she loved Jake and he loved her; that was all she really needed to be sure of.

She and Jake got themselves situated and got Bella's hair back in place. Jake shook out and folded the blanket. They walked to the car hand in hand, in no time they were back at Charlie's. Dinner was at 6 o'clock and it was 4:30 pm now. Sue had left to go get dressed so she needed to get the table set and begin warming up the casseroles until Sue got back. Sue had already prepared everything so now it all just needed to be heated.

Luckily Charlie had put in double ovens since Sue had been around. She liked to cook for a crowd. The turkey was still baking in one of the ovens so all we had to do was warm the casseroles, green beans and potatoes. Then, we needed to make back the yeast rolls. Things were running right on schedule. I would heat my pie up too so it would be warm when it was time for dessert. I was going to serve Vanilla ice cream with it. Sue had made a pumpkin pie and a pecan pie. Bella knew that everyone was going to eat good tonight.

Bella busied herself working to set the table and warm the casseroles. Jake placed a couple of the casseroles in the oven for her before leaving to go get himself ready; Jake was also bringing his dad back with him. As soon as Sue came to relieve Bella, she went upstairs to get ready. She wanted to look extra nice for Jake. She decided that she wouldn't take another shower because she didn't want to wash her hair right before she used the curling wand on it. She knew the hair would hold curl a lot better if it wasn't too clean and soft.

Bella touched up her makeup and put on a little extra eyeliner, mascara and blush. She put on her red dress that hugged her curves perfectly and slipped on her black heels. Jacob text her and let her know that he was leaving soon. He would probably show up ten minutes after she was finished.

When she came down the stairs she realized immediately that Jake and Billy were already back. Jake was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when she walked down. He was smiling from ear to ear. When she reached him he whispered into her ear, "Bells, you look amazing, I am so lucky." I smiled and said, "Thanks Jake. You don't look to bad yourself." Bella noticed Billy, Dad and especially Sue had a smirk on their face but they quickly turned away from them and got back to whatever they were doing, giving Jake and her some privacy.

Bella got really quiet and Jake immediately knew what she was thinking because she kept looking out the window from where they stood. He said, "Bells, it is going to be okay. Don't worry about Leah. I am not interested in Leah like that, even if she is interested in me. That will never happen, you are stuck with me woman!" Jake hugged her and she relaxed herself into a hug. Jake's arms held her in a way that made her feel completely comforted and safe. She was immediately back to her old self.

In just a little while Seth and Leah showed up. Seth looked just like Jake only smaller, he was a real cutie pie. He immediately came over and hugged Bella before he spoke to anyone else. He said, "Leah said that I would get to see you tonight. I'm Seth if you don't remember." Bella smiled, tousled his hair and said, "Of course I remember you Seth. How could I forget such a handsome face?" Seth looked at Jake and said, "Did you hear that Jake. Your girl thinks I'm handsome." Jake smiled and said, "Yeah. Yeah. Don't you have something to do kid?" Seth replied, "No. I'm good!" Jake laughed at him and kissed Bella on the cheek. She looked over at Leah and could feel herself completely tense up. Jake slipped his arm around her waist. She knew that he was trying to comfort her which she greatly appreciated. Bella realized that he was trying to show Leah that he was in a committed relationship and that there was no chance of them getting together.

Bella began, "Hey Leah. Did you get to spend time with your friends today?" She looked irritated when she answered, "Yes. I met them in Forks for lunch and then we went to the movies." Bella replied, "That sounds like fun!" She asked, "What did you all do today?" Everyone seemed to tune in to hear her answer, "Jake took me on a hike. I didn't really have the shoes for it so he ended up carrying me a lot of the way. He didn't even get tired though." Bella looked at Jake and he smiled real big. He said, "Well, you don't weigh a lot Bells." She smiled and shook her head. She was thinking that it had more to do with his strength and endurance than her not weighing very much.

Soon, someone knocked at the door and Bella went to answer it. She opened it and there stood Paul Lahote. She said, "Hi Paul." Paul put his arms around her and squeezed firmly, but thankfully let go quickly. He said, "Hi. I hope I'm not intruding." She looked over at Jake and could see the tension in his body. He was not happy that Paul had wrapped her in a hug, a big hug at that.

Paul walked in and Leah announced that she had invited him for dinner. She said that they were going to Port Angeles later. Paul walked over to Jake and I; Jake's arm was around my waist again but he slipped his hand into mine, holding for dear life. Paul looked at Jake and said, "Jake." Jake replied, "Lahote."

Bella looked at Leah with a concerned look on my face and noticed that Leah was sporting a slight smirk on her face. Bella figured that she had invited Paul to annoy Jake. She immediately knew that life around Leah was going to be dramatic; right then and there Bella decided that she didn't trust Leah at all. She wasn't sure how devious Leah would turn out to be but she would be very observant when it came to her and she would always be on guard much like Jake is with Paul.

Soon, everyone was sitting down at the table. The way it worked out Jake and Bella sat across from Leah and Paul. Paul across from Bella and Leah across from Jake. 'How unfortunate!' Bella thought.

Jake reached for Bella's hand and held it over his lap. They did their best to focus on the conversations that the adults were having, joining in occasionally to make things seem less uncomfortable for everyone. Leah kept glancing at Jake and hanging on to every his every word like she was some lost puppy waiting for a bone to be thrown her way. Paul kept looking at Bella like he was looking into her soul. Paul made her nervous, very nervous. She didn't dislike him, she just didn't know him and wasn't sure how to take him.

After everyone ate, Sue and Bella got up and started getting things ready to serve dessert. Bella had warmed her pie and now it was the perfect temperature to serve. They asked everyone what kind of pie they wanted. Bella asked if Jake would help her dip the ice cream and he of course was happy to help.

Sue and Bella sliced and served everyone their requests and Jake went around and put vanilla ice cream on everyone's plate. Bella finally asked Jake which kind of pie he would like to have and he smirked playfully before leaning in to whisper in my ear. "I want your pie of course! I will only ever eat your pie…if you know what I mean Bells." Bella immediately turned three sheets of red and looked up at the group. It seem like none of them were paying them any attention with the exception of Charlie. She knew that he had noticed the blush on her face and was curious about what had caused it. Bella playfully slapped Jake and said, "Really Jake?" Jake replied, "Your apple pie of course. I wouldn't think of eating anyone else's pie." Bella smiled and they both sat down to eat their dessert.

Everyone seemed to enjoy their dessert and soon Billy announced that he was tired and ready to go home. Bella's heart immediately dropped because she thought that she was going to have to say good night to Jake. Jake noticed Bella's worried expression and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. He said, "I'm going to take my dad home; I will be back before you know it. I don't plan on saying good-night to you any time soon; besides, I have a surprise for you at 12 am. She smiled and figured that it had something to do with her birthday.

As soon as Jake left, Bella began helping Sue by cleaning off the table. Paul quickly got up and began helping her by getting all of the glasses and placing them in the sink. He got a the trashcan and brought it closer to the table so they could throw all the trash from the table away easily. Bella looked up at him and smiled shyly before looking up to see what Leah was doing. She was staring back and forth between her and Paul with a very irritated look on her face. Bella said, "Why doesn't she like me? I've never done anything to her!" Paul smiled sweetly and said, "Don't worry about her Bella. She is just jealous because she has always wanted Jake and he has always loved you. It isn't what you have done, it is what she feels you have taken from her." Bella heatedly replied, "I can't take Jake from her because she never had him in the first place." Paul relied, "I know. You didn't take Jake from her but you took the chance of having Jake." Paul walked up to Bella's side and said, "Bella, can we talk alone for a minute?" Bella said, "I don't know Paul. I don't think that is a good idea." He said, "I know how Jake feels about me but I promise, you have nothing to worry about with me. I really need to talk to you…just for a few minutes. Please, Bella."

Bella looked around. Everyone seemed to have split into groups and were in conversations or debates on different subjects so she figured none of them would miss her. She said, "Okay but just for a few minutes. Jake will be back in just a little while. Let's go out on the back porch.

Bella doubted that talking alone with Paul was a good

idea but she had already agreed to it, so she wasn't going to change her mind now. She knew it was going to just be an innocent conversation anyway, at least on her part.

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	6. Chapter 6

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER SIX

'An Unexpected Friendship'

Paul followed Bella out onto the back porch. They sat down on the porch swing together. He noticed immediately how good Bella smelled. It was a mixture of things… strawberries, vanilla, apple pie, nervousness, Jake and SEX. Paul's body immediately tensed and his blood began to boil. He willed himself to calm down, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly until he was able to see and think clearly. He never expected to react to Bella like this, he had been with a lot of girls but none of them had even gotten a reaction out of him the way that she was. He was numb when he was with girls, always trying to feel something…anything, but never quite succeeding.

Paul's childhood had been shitty; his own parents didn't want him which would be a lot for anyone to accept. The foster families that he had lived with never cared about him, they had told him that he was worthless so many times that he actually started believing them. Paul didn't trust people as a rule, they only seemed to disappoint him and caused him to feel unworthy of love and kindness.

He did have one family member that came out of the woodworks about a year ago….his grandfather. His grandfather had made a huge difference in Paul's life over the past 13 months. Paul's grandfather expected a lot out of him and that was perfectly fine with Paul. It was nice to know that there was finally someone in his life that cared about him and actually expected him to do something important with his life.

Paul was smart, good looking and charming, making it easy for him to pick up women. Scoring with them had kind of been like 'succeeding' at something and if succeeding at getting women into bed was all he could manage in life right now, so be it. However, since the bonfire and seeing Bella again after all of these years, Paul was reevaluating his life. He wondered how he could possibly be satisfied with his life the way that it was going. School was going well for him but other than that there was no meaning to his life whatsoever. He was quickly realizing that he wanted more, much more.

Paul was ready to make some major changes in his life… he was planning to give up the entire 'dating scene' he had become accustomed to. He wanted someone who would actually care about him… love him even. Jake was a lucky man; Paul hoped that Jake would never take what he had for granted… for Bella's sake. For some reason Paul wanted Bella to be happy, it was becoming more and more important to him.

Paul collected himself and began, "You know Bella. You owe me!"

Bella turned to look at him and repeated his words, "I owe you?"

He said, "Yes. I saved your life…twice!"

Bella asked him what he was talking about and he began to explain, "Well, maybe I didn't save your life exactly but I definitely saved you from embarrassing yourself... twice."

She laughed and asked, "You kept me from falling…is that what you're referring to?"

He replied, "Yes! Twice!"

She said, "I only remember you catching me from falling once Paul."

He smiled and said, "See if you remember this… you couldn't have been more than nine years old because I was only in the fifth grade. You were walking in the gym and that guy named Riley Beird was sitting on the gym floor studying with his legs stretched out. You were walking with a couple of other girls and you…"

Bella finished his sentence, "I almost fell on my face!"

Paul laughed and said, "Yes!"

Bella was quiet for a minute trying to relate the story back to Paul. She asked, "Where you there? Did you see it?"

Paul laughed and said, "Bella, you really don't remember?"

She said, "What?"

He answered, "When you tripped that day, I was walking towards you. You almost fell on your face before I caught you. I helped you up, picked up your books and handed them to you."

Bella exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, Paul! That was you?"

Paul answered with a smile before Bella continued, "I was so embarrassed that day. I had no idea that it was you though, I just knew that it was a cute older boy and I was humiliated. I thought that I looked like a total loser."

Paul smiled from ear to ear and replied, "I thought you were adorable; all the guys thought that you were pretty…you were just too young. Everyday for the rest of that year every guy in my class referred to you as, 'The pretty girl in Mrs. Hall's class who's so clumsy'."

Bella's face turned red just like it had the day she tripped at school. Paul thought she looked just as adorable right now as she did then.

Paul said, "I'm sorry that we called you that, I was young. I didn't mean anything bad by it. I thought you were cute and I hated that you were so much younger than me."

Bella didn't know why, but she was feeling extremely flattered by everything Paul was saying to her.

Paul continued, "Anyway, from that day until the day that I left Forks Elementary, I always felt very protective of you. I was always keeping an eye on you; making sure that you were safe and that the boys were treating you with the respect that I knew you deserved. I had forgotten about all of that until you tripped on the beach last night and I caught you again. Now, I am feeling very protective of you all over again, only this time it is more intense. I hope that I'm not scaring you Bella."

Paul wasn't scaring her in the least, if anything she felt safe and comforted when she was around Paul; however she would never admit that to Jake. Bella still wasn't sure exactly how to take the entire conversation with Paul, and she was feeling a little guilty that the two of them had such a strong connection. She began breathing a little faster, her anxiety was getting the best of her as usual.

Paul touched her hand, the one that was laying in her lap and said, "Calm down Bella. I know that you are with Jake." Paul touched her face, turning it toward him and said, "I just wanted you to know all of this and know that I am feeling very protective of you again. I am not trying to steal you from Jake or anything like that. I care about you Bella and I want to be your friend; I want you to be happy and above all else… safe."

Paul paused before continuing, "I am sorry that you are having to go back to Florida. I can see that you are sad about it; your eyes are an open book to me. I know that you are already missing Jake and I am sorry about that too."

Bella said, "Thanks Paul." She was overwhelmed and she really wasn't sure how to respond to him.

Paul said, "I want to give you my phone number; I want you to be able to call me if you every need anything. I realize that you will call Jake first and I understand that, but there may be a time when you are unable to reach him for some reason. It would make me feel better if you would take my number? Will you do that for me?"

Against her better judgment Bella said okay.

He said, "If you will give me your phone I will put my number in your contacts."

Bella stepped inside and got her phone off the coffee table, she was back in a few seconds. She was thankful that Paul wasn't asking for her number because she knew that if she gave her number to Paul, Jake would flip.

Bella handed him her phone and he added himself to her contacts. She thanked Paul for caring so much, it really did mean a lot to her. He told her to have a safe trip and he would talk to her again soon. He hugged her for the second time, holding her a little longer than he had earlier when Jake was in their presence. She knew that Paul was smelling her hair and it gave her chills all through her hair. The truth was, she liked that he was hugging her – it was comforting to her.

She watched Paul as he slipped back into the house but she decided to stand on the porch for a little while; she felt like she needed a few minutes to collect her thoughts for some reason. She wondered why she hadn't really wanted their conversation to end and she was real concerned about why she felt sad that she wouldn't see Paul for the next month. She didn't really even know Paul… why did she care?

Bella thought the conversation and all the contents of it seemed a little weird. However, she appreciated it and decided that 'flattery' trumped 'a little weird' any day of the week.

Bella wondered if Paul and Leah were together, together or if Paul was going to hook up with some random girl when they went out, like Jake suggested was normal for him. Either way, for some reason Bella didn't like the thought of Paul being with any of the above. Maybe she was becoming protective of him also.

Bella thought about the idea of being. 'friends' with Paul. The idea actually appealed to Bella but she knew that Jake would never stand for it. She wouldn't worry about it now though because the truth was she wouldn't be seeing any of them for a month anyway. She had plenty of time to think about how to handle things with Paul.

Thankfully, by the time Jake got back, Leah and Paul had already left. Bella heard Jake walk in the front door from where she stood on the back porch so she got up and walked into the house. He walked up to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her on the forehead. He backed up and said, "Lahote!"

She practically jumped out of her skin, she thought that he knew they had talked. He continued, "I can smell that horn dog on you. I can't believe he hugged you; he better watch it!"

Bella pulled Jake into her and pulled his arms until they were encircling her. She said, "It's okay Jake. It wasn't a big deal…I promise. Let's just focus on each other. I don't want to think about Leah or Paul right now."

Jake smiled and said, "You're right! I love you Bells."

She replied, "I love you too Jake."

Jake said, "I was thinking that you might want to go walking on the beach; I know it's cold but I think that I can keep you warm. Do you think that your dad will let you come with me?"

She said, "It's almost my birthday… I think that he will! He trusts you with his little girl Jake. Imagine that?"

Jake replied, "Hmmm. I think that I am completely trustworthy Bella."

She smiled playfully and said, "You are, but you are also irresistible and my dad has no business trusting me with you."

Jake laughed and said, "Is that right?"

Bella answered, "Yes. That's right!" They both laughed and then Bella left to talk to Charlie.

Minutes later Bella came back with a huge smile on her face. Jake knew what that meant so he picked her up by the legs and threw her over his strong shoulder. He carried her up to her room so that she could change but Jake came back downstairs to wait for her. He couldn't risk Charlie catching him in Bella's room, even though he really wanted to go in with her.

Minutes later she came down in her faded skinny jeans with holes in the knees and a tight fitted pale pink sweater. Jake wasn't about to tell her that he could see just a hint of her turquoise bra showing through the sweater she was wearing; he liked it and he didn't want her to change. They got in the car and headed toward La Push beach. They parked the car at the Black's house, went inside to make a thermos of coffee and took off to the beach. Jake brought three blankets this time, hoping that he would be able to keep her plenty warm.

Jake spread one blanket out on the beach and they settled themselves in. They were both laying stretched out but Jake's arms were wrapped around her body and she was resting her face on his chest.

Jake said, "I'm going to miss you like hell Bells,"

Bella said, "I know. I am already beginning to feel the hole in my chest again and it sucks!"

Jake wanted to ask if she thought that her parents would ever let her live in Forks again, but he decided not to bring that up.

He said, "I'm sorry Leah was acting the way that she was tonight. I don't know what has gotten into that girl."

Bella explained, "It's simple Jake… she wants you, but she can't have you and it's killing her."

He looked at her in surprise. He replied, "Well, I don't want her…ever."

They laid there in silence for a little while, wondering how they were going to say good-bye to each other. They both decided to stop thinking about it. Jake rolled Bella on top of him. Their bodies crushed together and the heat building up between them.

Bella ran her fingers through Jake's hair and began kissing him fervently while his hands roamed over her back side. Jake flipped her over and knelt on top of her placing single kisses playfully all over her face, he continued down her neck, lifting her shirt so that he could place kisses on her cleavage and her stomach. She was aroused and he could smell her sweetness more than he ever had before. His senses were rapidly becoming stronger and stronger; he had no idea why that was happening but in this case he loved that he could smell her so well.

In a deep, breathy voice he said, "Bells?"

She asked, "What?"

He said, "I just…"

She questioned him, "You just what?

He admitted, "I just need to feel your skin against mine…would that be okay?"

Jake rolled to his side and Bella raised herself up onto her knees and took her sweater off, then she unlatched her bra right there in the full moon light, leaving Jake memorized by her beauty. Jake sat up, took his shirt off and threw it to the side. Bella pressed her breasts against Jake's hard chest and they both thought they would lose it together right then and there.

Jake said, "I want to hold you in my arms Bella but I just had to feel your bare skin up against mine." She cuddled up to Jake and he spread one of the blankets over them. Jake mindlessly started rubbing circles on her bare back and she felt more relaxed in that moment than she had her entire life.

Bella fell asleep lying with Jake under the stars. Jake watched the time because he wanted to tell her happy birthday at 12 o'clock midnight. When midnight came, Jake shook Bella and began planting kisses on her shoulder and then down her arm. Bella opened her eyes and asked, "What is it Jake?"

He said, "Happy Birthday Bells."

She sat up feeling completely comfortable with her exposed bare breasts. Jake sat up and said, "You are so beautiful. The moonlight shining on your breasts tonight is something that I will never, in a million years forget." He paused and said, "I have something for you."

Bella clapped and said. "Let me see! Let me see!"

Jake pulled a small box out of his pocket. She opened the box as fast as she could and found a heart shaped locket inside. It was silver and he had bought it to go on her new long silver necklace. She picked it up and noticed the J and B on the front of it. When she opened it there was a picture of her on the left and Jake on the right. She loved it so much!

Bella said, "Oh my gosh Jake. I love it so much, it's beautiful and I will treasure it forever."

Jake smiled from ear to ear and said, "I'm glad you like it Bells. You'll always have me close to your heart."

Bella said, "Let's lay back down and count the stars. I think the best place to look at the sky is from the beach. You can see stars for miles."

Jake laid on his back again and wrapped Bella in his arms. Bella began counting the stars and before she got to one-hundred, she was asleep again. Jake laid there with Bella asleep in his arms thinking about how much he loved her and how much he was going to miss her. He hated that she was leaving but he was completely helpless. He had absolutely no say in where she would live and either did she. Charlie and Renee were the only ones who could control Bella's future but at least he had her heart. He decided that for now, he would have to settle for that. Thinking about everything wore Jake out so he closed his eyes to rest. He planned to only leave them closed for a little while, however as soon he allowed himself to rest he joined Bella in dream land.

Jake woke up to his dad clearing his throat. He had come out onto the beach in his crazy bad electric wheelchair that Jake had built for him. It was complete with tires similar to a four-wheeler, except much smaller and head lights. Billy nudged Jake's shoulder with his front tire. Jake shook his head and turned in irritation to see who it was. When he saw that it was his dad he looked down at Bella who was laying flat on her stomach (thankfully) – topless with no blanket covering her. Jake pulled the blanket up over Bella's back and quickly looked down at himself remembering that he too had no shirt on.

Jake put his finger over his lips, silently begging Billy not to say anything. He didn't want Billy to wake her because he knew that she would be humiliated. Billy didn't have a happy face on, as a matter of fact he looked pretty pissed to Jake. Billy whispered, "What in the hell are you thinking Jake! Charlie is worried sick!"

Jake whispered, "I'm sorry dad…we fell asleep. Please, don't embarrass her. Just do me a huge favor and call Charlie. Tell him that you found us asleep on the beach and that Bella is going to spend the night at our house since it is so late. Please Dad. I will do anything you want when she leaves tomorrow. Please, just do this for me."

Billy turned and grumbled, "Teenagers! You owe me Jake…big time. Like I didn't have enough stress with the twins and their boyfriends."

Jake said, "Shhh. Dad, please! I'm really sorry."

Jake really wasn't worried about his dad. He wasn't even really worried about Charlie since he hadn't been the one to catch them half naked on the beach. It was 2 am and Bella was supposed to be back at her house and hour ago. Charlie had fallen asleep in his chair watching TV and when he woke up and realized that Bella hadn't come home, he called Billy freaking out.

Jake began placing sweet kisses all over Bella's back. He said, "Bells…honey."

She said, "Jake? JAKE! Oh my gosh!" She looked at her watch to check the time. When she saw that it was 2 am panic struck her. "Why didn't you wake me up Jake. My dad is going to freakin' kill me. He is going to be so worried Jake." She was trying to put her bra on but couldn't even get her arm in one side.

I calmly said, "It's okay Bella. Charlie knows where you are. My dad is telling Billy that you are going to stay at our house tonight since it is so late."

I suddenly realized that there was no way to keep the fact that Billy had come out here from Bella. Obviously some one would have had to come out here and woken Jake up. Someone would have had to come out here to know where they were; how else would they know to call Charlie.

Bella was tired and confused.

She asked, "Billy? How does Billy know to call my dad. Neither of has a phone out here Jake."

Jake said, "Ummm?"

Bella started to freak again. "Oh my gosh Jake. Please, Please tell me that Billy didn't come out here and see us like this."

Jake's silent hesitation spoke volumes but he was trying to get his thoughts together…he had just been startled awake also.

"Bella. It is going to be fine. Dad did come out here and found us sleeping but that's just it…we were just sleeping."

Bella was sitting in front of Jake in the moonlight topless. She looked down at herself and said, "Jake… look at me!"

Jake smiled and said, "Trust me Bella when I say, I am looking at you. You are absolutely beautiful sitting here like that with the moon shining down on you."

Bella made a sound something like, "Ugh!"

Jake said, "Bells. He did come out here but you were lying on your stomach. He didn't see you naked."

She replied, "He still knew that I has topless Jake."

Jake grabbed her in his arms and said, "Honey, my dad knows how much we are in love. He was young and in love with my mom at our age and I happen to know that they had sex before they were married. Everyone knows because every year on my mom and dad's anniversary, Beckah and Rachel are a year older than they have been married. Dad understands what it is like to be young and in love. Besides, as soon as I am alone with him I will let him know that you and I have never had sex. I will tell him that I just wanted to feel you close to me. I am not ashamed of that…I won't be near you again until Christmas. I need to absorb all of you that I can tonight. It will be okay and Charlie only knows that dad found us asleep on the beach. Completely innocent!" Jake lifted Bella's chin so that he could look into her face and said, "Are you okay now?"

She nodded so he said, "Okay, let's get you to the house and into my bed." Bella started to refuse to sleep with him in his bed, but he quickly stopped her. He said, "Bella, I need to be with you all night; I need to hold you in my arms and in my bed. Please?" Thankfully, Bella nodded silently.

Jake helped her put her arms through the straps of her bra and she fastened it between her breasts, before he helped her put her sweater over her head. Jake put his shirt on and grabbed the blanket.

She said, "I'll get the thermos." They walked hand and hand up to the Black's house. When they walked in Bella calmed down because Billy had already gone to bed. Jake knew that his dad was aware that Bella would sleep with him because Rachel was sleeping in her bed tonight and there wasn't an extra bed or room in the house. His dad also knew that it being their last night together, neither of them would want to be apart from the other.

Jake lead her into his bedroom and sat her on his bed. He turned and locked his door so that no one would barge in on them in the morning. He got in bed, scooped Bella into his arms and tugged at her sweater. She obliged by pulling it off. He tugged at her jeans and she pulled them off as well. Jake took his jeans and shirt off and they both admitted how much they loved the way their skin felt against one another's.

Jake held Bella until they fell asleep. It was the soundest sleep either of them had ever had but Jake knew for him it would be followed by a lot of sleepless nights. The thought of them being apart for yet another month was completely unacceptable to him, but he was powerless to change the reality of it, so making the most of the small amount of time they had together now was all he could do.

They woke up the next morning with their legs and arms intertwined. Jake thought Bella was incredibly sexy in her turquoise bra and panties. They hadn't fooled around the night before at all, but their time together had been very intimate and Jake loved every second of it.

When Bella opened her eyes she said, "Hey you."

He replied, "Hey yourself." His sexy lips curled into a smile that warmed her heart and a tear slipped down her face and fell onto his sheet; a couple more followed and he thumbed them away.

Jake said, "It's okay Bella. We will count down the days just like we did before, only this time there aren't as many days to count. Also, you are going to hang out with your friend some and time will fly by so fast that you will barely have time to miss me." Jake knew that this probably wouldn't be exactly how it would go, but he was trying to make her feel better. He was going to miss her like hell and he didn't know how he was going to handle the separation. They had become so much closer this trip that he thought it might possibly be unbearable.

Jake kissed her nose and said, "We better get dressed. I'll slip my clothes on and go talk to my dad. I will explain about last night and make sure that he knows it was completely innocent. You take your time in the bathroom and come out to the kitchen when you get ready."

Bella nodded and said, "Thanks Jake."

Jake did as he said and explained to his dad that Bella was still a virgin…that they both were. He told him that he felt the need to feel her skin close to his and he asked her if that was okay. He told Billy that she felt the same way and when they got comfortable they fell asleep. He apologized for making him and Charlie worry. Billy told Jake that it didn't seem like it had been that long ago since he was a teenager, young and in love with his Jake's mother. Billy said, "I get it Jake, I really do. You need to apologize to Charlie though, he was very worried that something had happened to you and Bella." Jake told his dad that he would make things right with Charlie. Billy knew that his son would be able to smooth things over nicely and he knew that Charlie would forgive Jake for worrying him. Jake respected Charlie and Charlie sincerely liked Jake so it would be easy for them to mend this little wound.

By the time that Bella came out of the bathroom and walked into the kitchen, Rachel had already been up for about ten minutes. She had already given Jake hell about his teenage hormones and lack of self control. Jake had threatened her about saying anything to Bella; he told her not to try and embarrass her, but Jake knew his sister and he was certain that Rachel would never let this chance pass her by.

Rachel looked up at Bella with a smirk on her face and said, "Have fun last night… Bells?" Jake had a news paper rolled up in his hand; he was ready to whack her on the back of the head when she made a smart ass remark. He was sure that she wouldn't even try to keep her mouth shut because she found pleasure at other people's expense. Jake whacked her hard over the head and she yelled at him, "Ouch! Damn you Jake. I am just teasing her, surely she can take a little teasing."

Jake began to lay into Rachel, but Bella stopped him. She said, "It's okay Jake… really." Bella looked at Rachel with a smirk that mirrored the one that she previously had. "You asked, did we have fun? I have to be honest with you girl… absolutely! We had a magnificent night undressing each other and making love under the stars and then having a second round once we got into Jake's bed after resting up from our first sex marathon on the beach… don't get me started about the morning sex. Jake's a stud you know!"

Billy and Jake looked at her with eyes wide and open mouths. She winked at Billy and said, "Well, she asked."

Jake started laughing so loud that Bella thought the walls might give way. He said, "She got you Rach." Rachel rolled her eyes and smirked at Bella. She actually really liked Bella for the first time in her life. Rachel thought she might be a cool chick after all.

After they ate Jake and Bella drove to Charlie's. Jake said, "I'd like to talk to your dad for a minute. I would like to apologize to him in private. Do you think that you could go up to your room for a little bit?"

She said, "Sure Jake."

They walked in hand and hand, Charlie had a scowl on his face and gave Jake a hard look. He liked Jake but we were talking about his little girl. Bella kissed her dad on the cheek and said, "I'm sorry dad." Bella scooted out of there quickly giving Jake the time that he needed with Charlie.

Bella went upstairs and decided to call Phil. She wanted to make sure that he remembered the time to pick her up and what gate to expect her to come from.

She got her phone and went to contacts, selected his name and hit send. She looked at her phone and it didn't say it was calling Phil, she had accidentally called Paul. When she realized, she hung up quickly. She figured that Paul would call the number back; she didn't want Jake to catch Paul calling her phone that she was sure of. Bella decided to text Paul quickly to say that she called him by accident.

(Bella)

HEY PAUL. IT'S BELLA. I ACCIDENTLY CALLED YOU TRYING TO CALL MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND…HIS NAME IS PHIL…I JUST HIT THE WRONG NAME IN MY CONTACTS. I WILL SEE YOU NEXT TIME I GUESS. SORRY!

(Paul)

K. HAVE A SAFE TRIP! – P

Bella really wished that she could figure out a way to make Jake okay with her being friends with Paul. She told herself that she would have plenty of time to figure out a way.

Charlie looked at Jake and they stood there in silence for a minute. Jake began, "I'm sorry Charlie. I didn't mean to make you worry, it was an accident and it was all my fault. I laid out a blanket on the beach and held Bella on the beach while we looked at stars talking. We both fell asleep laying there and didn't wake up until 2 am when my dad woke me up. I really am sorry Charlie but I want you to know that I respect your daughter and I love her very much."

Charlie took in everything Jake had said to him and then replied. "Jake. I know that you love Bella. I was worried last night and even a little angry that neither of you thought to call me. When I realized that Billy found you both asleep on the beach, I was relieved. I was relieved that my girl was safe and that she was with you. I know that it is hurting you both that she has to go back to Florida. I'm really sorry about that Jake, I really am."

Jake had to ask, "Charlie, do you think that Bella with ever get to move back to Forks? She wants to live with you so much; do you think that you could convince Renee to let her move back here."

Charlie answered, "I have actually been thinking a lot about that Jake. I am seriously considering the idea of letting Bella be more involved in making the decision about where she wants to live. She is 16 now and I've been thinking that Renee and I should consider what Bella wants. I would rather her not move in the middle of the school year but I would love for her to live with me. This is a big decision though and I need to think about it a little more thoroughly. For now, I don't want you to mention any of this to Bella. I don't want her to get her hopes up only to be let down again. Do I have your word?" Jake was so thrilled that he would have done whatever Charlie wanted him to do in that moment.

Jake smiled excitedly and said, "You have my word Charlie." Jake hoped that he wasn't setting himself up to be let down as well.

Bella came down and Charlie said, "Well. I guess that it is time to go." When Bella's eyes began to tear up, Jake and Charlie grabbed her up in a huge hug and tickled her. Neither one of them could stand to see her upset.

Paul and Bella?

Bella and Jake?

Rachel and Bella?

Charlie and Jake?

Billy?

Don't forget you can find images for this story on .com

I will add more images to the blog soon, so keep checking it out. Leave a short comment on the there just to let me know that you visited the blog. I have been busy looking for images to leave for upcoming chapters.

Before long, there will be new characters introduced in this story. All recognizable characters from the Twilight Series respectfully belong to SM.

Thanks! - Shelly

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	7. Chapter 7

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER SEVEN

'Goodbyes Suck and Legends are True'

When Charlie, Jake and Bella reached the airport they went in. Charlie helped Bella with her baggage and checked her in. She was feeling as low as a person could feel in that moment, but she was doing her best to hide her feelings from her dad and Jake. Bella had a lot of different emotions running through her; she was more furious with her mother than she had ever been before, she was sad about leaving her dad but infuriated with him because he wouldn't just let her stay and live with him, she was devastated to be separated from Jake and insecure about Jake being around Leah while she was in Jacksonville. All Bella could think about were the Sunday dinners they would have together and the talks that Jake and Leah might have while she was away. She knew that they had spoken on the phone while she was in the grocery store on Thanksgiving Day but neither of them had mentioned anything about the call to her. Bella was pissed…pissed at everyone and everything.

Charlie walked most of the way with Bella but then decided to say his good-byes, giving she and Jake an opportunity to walk alone the rest of the way. They were only going to let them go so far anyway and then she would be on her own. The moment Charlie squeezed Bella, he could feel tears forming behind his lids. He willed them away because he didn't want to make leaving any harder on his little girl. Bella told Charlie that she loved him and he said the same to her.

Jake continued to walk with her and they found a bench to sit and wait on until it was almost time for her flight. Bella was looking down at her lap before Jake lifted her chin turning her so that he could look into her eyes.

Jake said, "I love you Bells." Bella told him that she loved him too.

He asked, "Are you okay?"

Bella answered, "No! I am sad, angry, and frustrated. I'm not okay… not at all. This sucks majorly Jake and I am pissed at the world right now." She couldn't believe she was speaking out loud like that but he asked and she was just being honest. Her words broke Jake's heart and he was unsure of what to say to comfort her.

He whispered, "I understand. I really do Bells."

Bella replied, "You really think that you do Jake?"

He looked alarmed because her tone was almost accusatory.

She noticed Jake's expression but she didn't let that hold her back, she continued with her ranting. "Do you really know what it is like to go live everyday in a place that you hate; a place where you have no friends. Do you know what it is like to live with a mom that you can't stand the sight of, because she only thinks of herself. The only other person that you are around regularly is someone who is probably only being nice to you to keep your mother happy and sleeping in his bed. I am pissed Jake! I don't have family and friends around me; people that I can share my problems and concerns with. I seriously don't know how you think you could possibly understand what I am dealing with here. I appreciate that you are concerned Jake but I am used to handling everything myself and I have accepted that 'It is what it is'!"

By this time the tears falling down her cheeks were too many for Jake to stop.

He said, "I'm sorry Bells. You are so right. I don't understand what any of that is like. I have been feeling sorry for myself but the truth is, it is nothing compared to what you are going through. I really am sorry Bells."

She did her best to collect herself and said, "No Jake. I shouldn't have said all of those things to you. You have a right to feel upset too. I am just so wrapped up in my own pain right now that it is hard for me to see beyond it sometimes. I'm the one that should apologize… I'm sorry Jake." They accepted each others apologies and realized that their love was bigger than all of what they were going through.

Bella said, "I tried to call Phil from home but never got him so I need to call him now. I want to make sure he remembers where and when to pick me up. I'm pretty sure that my mom wouldn't remember and if I had to guess, I'd say that she won't even come with Phil to pick me up anyway. She doesn't even think enough of her own daughter to do that." Jake frowned at the realization of just how hurt and angry Bella really was.

About that time Bella's phone vibrated in her lap. The phone read PAUL. Jake looked at her phone and his beautiful russet colored skin immediately turned crimson.

"Why in the hell is Paul texting you Bella and how in the hell did he get your phone number?"

Bella said, "Jake, it's not what you think! Paul just wants to be friends."

Jake asked, "So, you gave him your number? You and Paul are just going to start talking and texting each other?"

Bella replied, "Of course I didn't give him my number Jake. When you left to take Billy home after dessert last night, Paul and I talked for a few minutes; he told me about something that happened at Fork's Middle when we went there together. He caught me when I fell in the gym one day, the same way that he caught me at the beach the other night. I remembered it, I had just forgotten and I didn't realize that it was Paul. It was a long time ago Jake."

Bella paused before continuing. "Anyway, he told me that he became very protective over me until he left Fork's Middle and went to La Push. He evidentially used to look out for me at school. He said that after he caught me at the La Push beach the other night he immediately became protective of me all over again. He said that he knew that I loved you. He said that he wasn't trying to steal me away from you or anything, but that he wanted me to have his number in case there was a time that I needed someone and I couldn't reach you."

Bella looked over at Jake and saw that he was quiet but he was still furious and trembling. She touched his hand and he felt so hot that it almost burnt her hand.

He asked, "So how did he get your number Bella?"

Bella answered, "I was looking up Phil in my contacts and when I tried to call 'Phil' I accidentally hit 'Paul' instead but as soon as I realized what I had done, I hung up. I decided that I better text Paul to explain what I had done. He just text back to say, "Okay and to have a safe trip". That is how he got my number."

Jake said, "That slimy horn dog better not be making a move on you. I swear, I will… Well, let's just say, when I get finished with him he won't…" Bella stopped him.

She said, "No! You won't do anything Jake. Paul has only been respectful to me and he specifically said that he wasn't trying to steal me away from you. He knows how much I love you Jake. We can't say the same about Leah though, can we?"

Bella paused to gauge Jake's reaction and the only thing that changed was he had an added scowl. He still looked red faced and furious.

Bella continued, "Don't think that I don't know Leah has your phone number and don't even think that I don't know you were talking to Leah while I was in the grocery store yesterday."

Jake's eyes grew as big as saucers. He said. "I…I…How?"

Bella said, "You what Jake? How what?"

He asked. "How did you know we were talking? Did Leah say something?"

Bella answered, "No, she didn't have to say anything. If she would have said something Jake, what would she have said? I heard the end of the phone conversation. I heard her say your name right before I got back into the car with her; I just pretended that I hadn't heard it. I hoped that you would tell me about it yourself, but you never did."

He began to explain, "It's not what you think Bella. When I heard from Sue that Leah had taken you to the grocery store I got worried so I called her to make sure that she wasn't trying to cause problems between us. I just didn't want her making it seem like there was something going on with us because there wasn't and there never will be."

Bella asked, "So she has your number and you have hers, right? That means that you have had conversations in the past while I was away. Does that mean you are going to have conversations while I am gone this time."

Jake was quiet and which spoke volumes to Bella. She said, "Fine!"

He said, "It's not like that Bells. It's complicated!"

She asked, "How? How is it complicated Jake?"

He answered, "Because I go to Charlie's house to eat on the weekends and she is there; she is Seth's sister also and I have known her my entire life. She is going to be around all the time; I can't help that. I can only make sure that she knows that I'm not interested in her and keep the conversations with her to a minimal when it is just the two of us talking."

Bella asked, "Why would you ever have to be alone with her Jake?"

Jake replied, "Well, I won't try to be but sometimes you go somewhere as a group and then the group splits up, leaving you and another person alone. It has happened several times."

Bella replied, "I'm sure that it has! Look, you just go out with all of your friends Jake and when everyone splits and Leah makes sure that she is left there alone with you…you just keep your conversation to a minimal, that is fine by me. It will be just perfect Jake!"

Bella got up and began to walk away.

Jake and Bella's last few days together had been absolutely amazing. Jake knew that he couldn't let their visit end like that. He loved her more than ever and he knew that he had to make his move, and quickly. With people walking back and forth on either side of them; Jake got up, grabbed her right hand spinning her around abruptly. Jake's lips crashed onto hers and she had never felt anything like it before. At first she was still mad and fought a little against the intrusion, but then she parted her lips and he immediately dove in. He kissed her more passionately than he ever had before, hoping to show her every feeling that he had for her. He hated to do it but he pulled back allowing himself to look into her eyes. He had done it! She was dreamy eyed and weak at the knees. Her knees began to buckle so he held her tightly and lead her back to the bench seat to sit with him.

Jake touched her face and said, "Bella, you are amazing! I will never want anyone the way that I want you. My heart is so full of you that there is no room left for anyone else. You are it for me Bella; you don't ever need to worry about Leah or anyone else. I can handle Leah, I promise. If you think that Paul sincerely wants to be your friend, I will try to accept it. I trust your intensions Bella but I will never trust his. I'm sorry if that upsets you but I have known Paul my entire life and I have seen the way he is. I won't choose your friends for you though Bells. I love you and I am going to miss you like hell! You better go though, they are calling your flight number."

Bella hadn't even heard it so she was glad that Jake was paying attention for her. She said, "I love you too Jake. Call me later! I'm sure that I will need to hear your voice tonight."

Jake replied. "Okay Bells; I promise."

Bella turned to get on her plane. She was glad that she and Jake had worked things out but she dreaded Jacksonville and everything waiting for her there.

Jake went to find Charlie; what Jake needed desperately was to get back to La Push. He thought that he might be getting sick. He was burning up and although be managed to stop visibly trembling, his insides were another story. Finally, he got to Charlie and they headed out to the cruiser.

Charlie asked, "Jake? Are you going to be okay kid?"

Jacob replied, "Sure Charlie. I will be fine. It was just hard saying good-bye to her." They rode silently the rest of the way to La Push. All Jake could think about was finding that son of a bitch and making sure he understands the boundaries. Jake wasn't sure what Paul's intensions were, but he knew that it wasn't as innocent as Bella thought it was.

'What in the hell is wrong with me? I'm pissed but there is much more going on than that. I have never felt so hot in all of my life and I have never felt so out of control before either. I'm not sure what is happening to me but I feel like I have absolutely no control over it whatsoever. As soon as I find that son of a bitch I am going to tear him a new one. I've seen Paul with women and I have heard him talk about them in a disrespectful way. I refuse to let Paul treat Bella that way.' Jake thought to himself.

Jake ran into their house and Billy was sitting in the kitchen eating a sandwich. Rachel was pouring them each a glass of chocolate milk. Jake ran though the kitchen heading towards his bedroom; he was in search of his dad's car keys. Jake was sweating profusely so began tearing off his clothes; he would just wear his sport shorts, it was entirely too hot for anything else.

Once Jake changed he began throwing everything off his shelves, tipping things over and tipping his desk and chair over in haste. He was looking for the car keys and was not having any luck.

Billy went into Jake's room and said, "Son, what are you doing? Why are you acting this way? You are making an awful mess!" Billy looked directly into his son's eyes. They were black! He said, "Jake, are you okay? Come here for a minute."

Jake took a few strides toward his dad and stopped. Billy reached out to feel his skin. Billy exclaimed, "Oh dear God! I knew this was coming, but I hoped you would be older."

Jake said, "What in the hell are you rambling about. I have got to find the car keys. I have to go see that son of a bitch Paul."

Billy questioned Jake, "Why?"

Jake answered, "Because I think that he is trying to make a move on Bella and I am going to put a stop to it. Lahote will not have anything to do with Bella…I will see to that!"

Billy said, "Jake, just calm down. Let's talk about this."

Jake said, "Hell no! There is nothing to talk about Dad. Paul is trying to make a move on her and I am going to kick the shit out him. That is all there is to it! All I know is he better be ready for an ass kicking in about ten minutes." Jake picked up the car keys and said, "Here they are! I'm out of here!" He ran out of the house with the keys in his hand.

Billy was beside himself. Jake had never used that language while speaking to him before. Jake had always been very respectful to his father. There was only one thing that could be the cause of this behavior.

Billy picked up his phone and dialed Sam Uley's number. Billy had to warn Sam about Jake; he was so worried about him. Jake was not even sixteen years old yet and he had already turned into a man. He was huge already, standing at least 6' 3" and weighing 210…all muscle. There was nothing about Jake that looked like a young, innocent kid anymore and Billy felt the change in Jake. He had been hoping that Jake would have a little more time to just be a kid but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

Jake reached Paul's house and got out of the truck. He walked up the front steps and went to Paul's front door. He started banging on the door.

"LAHOTE! I need to talk to you right now! Get out here!" Jake announced.

Paul opened the front door and walked out onto the porch. "What in the hell are you going on about Jake?"

Jake placed his hand around Paul's throat and lifted him up against the side of the house. Jake answered, "I'll tell you what I'm going on about. I will not put up with any of your bullshit! You will stay the hell away from Bella! I know that you gave her your number and told her that you wanted to protect her. When have you ever wanted to protect a girl? You have always treated girls like crap Paul. Why is Bella any different? Do you honestly expect me to believe that you have her best interest at heart and you have honest intentions with her? You stay the hell away from her; she is mine! Go find some of your skanks to play around with and stop messing around with Bella. She believes that you actually want to be her friend, she is sweet and trusting Paul, don't do this to her… you will only hurt her!"

Paul said, "Jake. I am not going to hurt her. I care about Bella… I care about her safety and that includes her heart. I just want to help you protect her Jake. I know that she loves you, but I have to be part of her life. I just don't have a choice in the matter. You are going to have to accept that I am going to be a part of her life."

Paul was just barely shorter than Jake and he was just as built and muscular as Jake, however in that moment Jake had lifted Paul a foot off the ground. Jake sat Paul down on his feet and punched him in the jaw. He said, "The hell I will! I will not accept that! You are not going to be a part of her life. She is my girlfriend…not yours and I will be the one to protect her…not you! Leave her alone Paul or I swear…"

Paul said, "Jake, I don't care what you say or what you do to me. I will not back down about this. I don't know how to explain this to you but I just have to be there for her. It would kill me not to be."

Jake said, "What in the hell are you talking about Paul. You know as well as I do that you have never cared about girls before. You are a man whore Paul and she is too good for you."

Paul said, "Maybe, but I care about her! I do and there is nothing you can say to change that. I told her that I am not trying to steal her from you. I don't understand why you are being so insecure Jake."

Jake replied, "I will not share her with any other man… not even a small part of her. She is mine!"

Paul replied, "She is not your property Jake and she has a mind of her own. I happen to know that she wants to be friends with me. I could feel it when we spent time talking yesterday."

Jake began pounding on Paul and Paul was punching the crap out of him too. Suddenly, Jake felt even hotter than he had before and his skin began feeling strange. His skin was stretching and when he looked down at his legs he realized that something was happening to him. Suddenly, he was blurring around the edges and Paul's eyes grew in disbelief. Jake phased leaving his shorts ripped and laying on the ground in pieces.

Immediately, Paul phased to talk to Jake.

PAUL: Calm down Jake. Try to focus on my voice.

JAKE: What in the hell is going on you freak?

PAUL: Jake. You remember the Legends of our people, right?

JAKE: What I remember is that you are trying to steal my girl and I am going to kick your ass.

Wolf Jake lunged for Wolf Paul biting his ear on the way down. Paul tried to speak to Jake.

PAUL: Jake. You have got to listen to me. You have phased into a wolf. FOCUS! The legends….they're real!

JAKE: No the hell they aren't! I am not turning into a wolf like some freak. I am not a warrior and I am not meant to kill vampires, that is for damn sure! What the fuck!

PAUL: Look at yourself. Look down at your legs Jake. You are a wolf.

Jake lunged again, this time biting the shit out of Paul's leg.

JAKE: SHIT! Why is this happening to me? How will Bella ever be able to accept this? When will I change back you piece of shit?

PAUL: Don't be a dick Jake! I am so sick of your self righteous bullshit!

JAKE: The legends! So shape-shifting is real?

PAUL: Obviously!

JAKE: and vampires?

PAUL: Yep!

JAKE: What about imprinting?

PAUL: I'm afraid so! Embry just imprinted on Angela.

JAKE: Wait! You are talking to me. You can read my mind?

PAUL: When you think about things I can see them just like you do. Yes. We can communicate with one another without talking and when you first phase it is impossible to hide anything. After you have been phasing for a while if you focus hard you can hide small amounts from the other wolves but it is difficult not to mention exhausting.

JAKE: Why do you need to be friends with my girl friend? I love her Paul and I do not want to share any part of her…I can't!

The minute Jake started talking about Bella his mind began to flip through memories of the past few days. He thought about what it felt like to kiss her, hold her and see her breasts in the moonlight. He thought about tasting her on his fingers the day before! He couldn't help the memories that were flooding through his mind and her scent was engrained in his mind. Suddenly, Paul jumped him.

PAUL: Jake, you are a hypocrite! You talk about respecting women and look what you have been doing with Bella. I knew that I could smell you all over her. I knew that I could smell sex all over her when we talked. I'm just glad that you didn't actually go through with it. You are going to treat her with respect Jake. Don't take her innocence away from her…she is so young and precious Jake.

JAKE: How dare you! Don't you look at her though my mind you pervert. What she and I do in private is between us and it sure as hell doesn't concern you Paul!

PAUL: OH YES IT DOES! IT DOES CONCERN ME!

JAKE: How? Why?

PAUL: Because…I told you that I care about her. I may only get to be her friend but I will protect her and her innocence. I will know what you are doing with her through your thoughts Jake and I will not stand for it… do you hear me?

JAKE: You are threatening me? You are fucking threatening me right now you crazy sack of shit! You have no say in the matter LAHOTE! (Jake said his last name like it was a cuss word.)

PAUL: Yes, I am threatening you! I will make sure that you treat her with respect. You will not have sex with her Jake. She is a virgin, an innocent and you will respect that. Do you hear me?

JAKE: If Bella and I decide to have sex there is nothing you can do about it Lahote. You will not dictate my relationship with Bella. Besides, if you can read my mind you know that I respect her.

PAUL: I know that you believe you respect her but if you truly did, you wouldn't even consider having sex with her. She just turned 16 years old Jake… it's not like she is your imprint or something. Bella and I will become close friends and she will listen to me. She will not have sex with you Jake…you can mark my words.

Jake jumped on Paul again and they were rolling and clawing at one another. Jake tore at Paul's ear and Paul tore at Jake's eye. There was no mercy between the two of them. All of a sudden they were jolted by a loud voice.

SAM (wolf form): STOP IT! YOU WILL BOTH STOP THIS RIGHT THIS SECOND…THAT IS AN ORDER! DO YOU HEAR ME?

JAKE: Sam?

SAM: Yes Jake! It's me…I am your Alpha. I am the leader of the pack. Whatever I say goes and you will never go against me or there will be consequences! Do you understand?

JAKE: Yes. Paul is trying to tell me what I can and can't do with my girl friend. I don't know who the hell he thinks he is but I am going to beat the shit out of him. He has been with so many girls he can't even remember them all… he probably couldn't even count that high. He thinks that he can dictate whether I have sex with my own girlfriend or not. The hell he will!

Sam thought about what Jake said and looked into Paul's mind but there was nothing there. Paul was blocking his thoughts from all of them and Sam knew it.

SAM: Not right now you won't. There will be time to settle your differences but right now we have got to get you under control. Embry is on his way and he is going to take you on a run. He will go over some things with you Jake. Bella is gone back to Jacksonville, right?

JAKE: Yes. Why?

SAM: Because you don't have control of your emotions right now. It is dangerous for you to be around anyone expect for us. You could phase and hurt someone. You could lose your temper and hurt someone. You wouldn't mean to but right now you are basically a loose cannon. Embry is going to help you with your control.

EMBRY: I'm here!

SAM: Good! You know what to do.

EMBRY: Yep!

Embry stopped and listened to the thoughts of the other wolves. He could see private images of Jake and Bella. He could also tell that Paul was furious, however he couldn't see or hear anything coming from Paul. Paul was hiding something. He would have to figure it out later. He was certain that Paul wouldn't give up the information on his own.

JAKE: So Sam…you are Alpha…the leader. What is Embry?

SAM: Embry is my Beta. My right hand man or wolf as the case may be.

JAKE: Okay. So let's get the hell out of here Embry. If I am around Paul for another second I will be in trouble with Sam because I am not sure that I will be able to obey his command and not kill him right now.

PAUL: You are a pain in the ass Jake! Get the hell out of here and remember what I said.

Jake ran toward Paul but Sam stopped him.

SAM: GO! NOW JAKE! Remember that Embry is my right hand and the second in command. You do as he says. Do you understand?

JAKE: Grrrrr. Yes Sam. I get it! Later Lahote!

Hmmmmm… what do you think?

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	8. Chapter 8

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER EIGHT

'Second Guessing and Sacrifices'

_**PART ONE**_

_**Phone call from Rachel to Leah…**_

_**This conversation took place sometime between the time Charlie and Jake took Bella to the airport and Jake phased.**_

_Ring, Ring_

LEAH: Hey… haven't heard from you in days.

RACHEL: Yeah… I know. I've been a little busy I guess with the holiday and all. I spent Thanksgiving with Rebecca and her husband.

LEAH: How is the little bitch?

RACHEL: She's good… pregnant again!

LEAH: Man, she doesn't waste anytime. Caleb has kept her barefoot and pregnant ever since college.

RACHEL: Yeah, but she's really happy and the Jayden and Tricia are so cute.

LEAH: Well, I won't be ready to settle down as fast as your big sister.

RACHEL: Me either but Rebecca was always an old sole and she has always wanted kids… lots of them.

LEAH: Whatever floats her boat, I guess. At least Caleb's hot… that right there is probably why she can't quit having babies.

_Rachel and Leah laugh…_

RACHEL: Hey Girl. You will never guess what happened last night.

LEAH: What?

RACHEL: Jake and Bella were together on the beach last night… dad didn't tell me everything but he was really irritated with Jake and so was Charlie. Supposedly, Jake and Bella fell asleep on the beach and Bella missed curfew.

LEAH: So…

RACHEL: So, I'm just saying that Dad had to smooth things over with Charlie and Dad let Bella spend the night. She slept in Jake's bed all night. They probably did the dirty deed… Jake says she's a still a virgin but Bella seemed very comfortable joking that she and Jake had sex all night long. Who knows? It's the quiet ones that…

_**Rachel was trying to get a rise out of Leah.**_

LEAH INTERRUPTS: Shut the hell up Rachel! She's a little hussy. She puts on this good girl act but I know that she has been fooling around with Jake. All of the guys are talking about it and Paul is freaking out about it for some reason. I don't know why he cares… Paul never cares about women. He probably wants her too… he probably sees her as a challenge just like your freakin' little brother does.

Your brother is a pain in my butt Rach. I have tried and tried to get him to forget about that girl. Before Bella came back from Jacksonville for Thanksgiving, I was finally getting somewhere with Jake. We were hanging out and talking on the phone a lot; Seth was around a lot of the time but we did have some private talks about personal things.

He almost kissed me one night but he pulled back and said that he needed to go. I grabbed his hand and told him to please stay but he said that he couldn't do it. He said that he really cared about me but he loved Bella and always would. He said that he wasn't sure what was going to happen with her since she had to move away but that for the time being we would have to be friends and nothing more.

I swear, Jake drives me crazy. He throws so many mixed signals. It's almost like he wants to give me just enough to keep me on a string, waiting for him. I'm sick of it Rach. Now Bella is in his bed… as soon as she is gone, he will be knocking on my door again… mark my words. Your little brother can just go to hell as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to shut my door in his face.

RACHEL: No you won't! You will open your door to him and you will give him anything he decides he wants from you and you know it!

LEAH: You're a bitch Rach.

RACHEL: Maybe, but at least I'm honest..

LEAH: Well, Bella Swan is a virgin slut.

RACHEL: What in the hell is a virgin slut?

LEAH: She dangles the goods in front of Jake, even lets him touch a little probably, but she isn't woman enough to actually go through with anything. She's a tease and your brother thrives on it. He loves the chase and he will continue to chase her until she finally gives in. She's just a challenge for Jake; as soon as he gets a piece of her he will brag about it to the guys and dump her. She's nothing special and Jake makes me sick.

RACHEL: He will not! Jake is better than that and you know it. You are only saying that because you are pissed that he wants her instead of you. You're a bitch Leah… I only called you because I had some dirt on my little brother and I thought I'd be a bitchy big sister and tell his business but I shouldn't have. Jake is nothing but a challenge for you Leah. You don't really care about him because if Sam Uley would give you the time of day, Jake would no longer even exist to you. You have wanted Sam since you were thirteen and he was around eighteen; Jake was only a backup plan. Am I wrong?

_**Silence…**_

RACHEL: That's what I thought! You know all about challenges, don't you? If Jake wanted you, you wouldn't stay interested long. You only want him because he is taken; getting Jake to have sex with you would just be a notch in your bedpost… a reward for playing the game well. You have become a female Paul. Just stay away from my little brother. Quit pursuing him, Leah… I mean it. If you don't, I will kick your ass.

LEAH: I don't know why you are acting this way Rach. You talk crap about Jake all the time… you are a bitch to him.

RACHEL: Yeah, well that is because he is my bratty little brother…

you don't get to talk about him like that. Just leave him alone Leah… maybe you and Paul should get together… you're just alike anyway. You both love to play games and you both want sex all the time. You're a perfect match!

LEAH: I don't want sex all the time Rachel. Don't act all high and mighty anyway. You know you have had your eye on Jared for years; if something happened between him and Kim, you would be jumping all over that in a heart beat and you know it!

Besides, Paul is like a brother… that's gross and he has changed anyway. Something happened to him… he has absolutely no interest in getting laid anymore. We went to Port Angeles after Thanksgiving dinner and we went to that club we like… you know, 'The Spot'. There were all kinds of women throwing themselves at him but Paul was completely uninterested in any of them. He kept talking about being tired of the same old shit. He said that he wanted someone special; not a girl who has slept with a million different guys.

He wanted to go home at around 10:30; I had to get another friend to drive me home so that I could stay.

RACHEL: That's weird… it doesn't sound like Paul. Anyway, just stay away from Jake. If he comes knocking on your door, which I highly doubt will happen, leave him alone. He might think that he is grown up because he looks like it, but he's not… he is still young and naive about a lot of things. Don't pursue Jake or you and I will never be friends again Leah.

LEAH: Please, Jake doesn't need your protection… I can promise you that Rachel. He might be a virgin but I have talked to him enough to know that he knows exactly what it is all about.

RACHEL: Shut up! I don't want to hear about it! Just leave him alone Leah… I mean it! I'm serious, we won't be friends anymore if you don't back off.

Rachel hung up the phone, went to her room and cranked up her music. She ran on her treadmill for the next 45 minutes, hoping to let off some steam.

Rachel's POV

Leah is really a bitch! Granted, I can be one at times but I am not trying to be all cougar with my best friends brother. I can't imagine how Leah would react if I was trying to make it with Seth. Granted, he is really young but Seth has been looking older and older these days… just like Jake. I really have no idea what happens to these Quileute guys… a lot of them begin looking like men when they are fourteen. What's up with that? It makes you forget how young they are sometimes…. it messes with your head. Seth is only 14 but he already looks at least 18 or 19 years old, maybe 20 even. Weird!

I know that Leah is full of shit! She and Jake may have talked some but I know that he didn't talk to her about personal things. I also know that he has loved Bella all his life and Leah is wishful thinking if she thinks that Jake was even considering being with her over Bella.

I can see Jake paying Leah some attention… she is an 'older woman' and he is a sixteen year old hormonal boy. I am sure that it does his ego good to know that Leah would like to be with him. I'm sure that Jake wants her to hang around, just in case things don't work out with Bella. However, I also know that Jake will probably love Bella until the day he dies; he wants everything to work with her.

What Leah said about Jared was true. I have always loved Jared… we only went out once and it was the best night of my life. He seemed to have a good time too and he asked me to go out with him the following weekend. However, he met Kim the Tuesday after our date and she must have been what he was looking for. They have been dating for nearly a year. I have the worst luck in the history of the world. Ugh!

_**PART TWO**_

_This begins after Jake confronts Paul AND after Jake phases. Sam sends Jake off with Embry to run and learn how to control his wolf._

Jake and Embry took off into the woods. Jake was glad to get away from Paul and he was glad that he would be hanging with Embry for a while. Embry had always been a good friend to him and if anyone could help him through this shitty crap it would be him.

Strangely, Jake was more concerned about the situation between Paul, Bella and him more than he was the fact that he had just transformed into an enormous wolf. He could only assume that being Quileute and having heard the legends so many times had somehow prepared him for this moment.

It was hard for Jake to quit recalling all of the words that he and Paul had just exchanged. Paul had always been a guy who just didn't care about anything except for getting laid. Jake wasn't sure whether Paul had been with all the women he bragged about or if he had made a lot of it up but he figured that most of it was true.

Paul kissed and told... a lot! He was proud of his conquers and if they were virgins it was even better. He just didn't give a damn. Now he had the audacity to chastise Jake for thinking about having sex with his own girlfriend; the girl that he had loved all of his life.

Jake realized that Paul was right about her being young and innocent but Jake also knew that Bella thought she was ready and would have had sex with him already if he would have allowed it to happen. He had the decency to stop so that they could both make sure that it was what they both wanted to do. Jake wanted them to make that decision when they were calm and collected, not in the heat of the moment when it was next to impossible to stop. He didn't want Bella to regret anything they did together. He loved her and he wanted her to be happy about their decisions. He didn't want them to have sex out of fear of losing one another or just because they were hot for one another… he wanted them to decide to have sex because they knew they were going to spend the rest of their lives together and they wanted to share everything.

Jake wasn't saying that he wanted to wait until they were married, the truth was he was ready now but he wasn't certain Bella truly was. They had shared some very grown up intimate moments already, more than he ever expected they would. He did it out of love for her though and nothing else. He couldn't regret what they had done even though Paul thought that it was somehow robbing her of her innocence.

Had he? Should he regret what they had done? He was confused.

JAKE: 'SHIT! Paul is making me second guess my own actions. That son of a bitch is making me feel unsure about something that I had felt so confident about before. Have I disrespected Bella? She is very young…we both are. I am younger than she is… should I still be worried about robbing her of her innocence at such a young age? Maybe… I have turned into a man this year… I might be 15 but obviously I am not the typical 15 year old… I am super natural and fifteen or not, my childhood is gone for good. In a way, I have been robbed of my own youth. No…not in a way; I have definitely been robbed of my youth. I do not feel, act or look like a boy… my youth is dead and gone.

(TALKING IN WOLF FORM)

EMBRY: Jake. You are going to have to stop letting your mind spin like this. I need you to focus on me!

JAKE: Okay Em but I don't understand any of this. Can Paul or anyone else hear my thoughts from out here?

EMBRY: No. We are far enough away now that they can't hear us.

JAKE: You know Embry! You know how Paul has always been about women. Why is Bella so different? Why is he being so protective of her? I would never hurt her.

EMBRY: Um. I'm not sure Jake. I was trying to hear his thoughts but they were a total blank. I have watched him around Bella though and he does seem to sincerely care about her. I am not trying to piss you off Jake; it is just an observation.

JAKE: I know you aren't trying to piss me off but the whole situation does. I know that she wants to be his friend. We had an argument about it at the airport. She trusts him!

EMBRY: Well, I know how you feel about that. What are you going to do about it?

JAKE: I don't know. I don't want to come across as the insecure boyfriend. I know that she is insecure about Leah but in Bella's defense, I feel certain that Leah would pretty much do anything I wanted to do with her; I think that she is right about Leah. If Paul is being straight with me, he wants to be her friend and I guess someone protecting her when I can't be around isn't a terrible thing.

EMBRY: I understand what you are saying. Ultimately it is your decision.

JAKE: That is what I am trying to say. Ultimately it is not my decision…it is Bella's decision and she thinks that Paul is harmless. She believes him when he says that he just feels protective of her. I just don't understand why. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. Do you understand?

EMBRY: No, Jake. Not yet.

JAKE: Could I hurt Bella? You know she will be back here the week before Christmas… December 19th. She will be here in less than a month. Will I have control by then?

EMBRY: I'm not sure Jake. I have seen your argument at the airport through your mind. Do you remember how you were shaking?

JAKE: Yes.

EMBRY: Well, now that feeling will be at least ten times as bad and you would probably phase. If you and Bella had an argument like the one you had at the airport that is what will happen. It could take you months to be in true control. We will have to play it by ear. We have a lot of training to do and from now on you are going to have to keep your distance from Paul.

JAKE: That is fine with me. I am scared that I won't be able to see her over the holidays. That will kill her because she won't understand.

EMBRY: I'm sorry Jake.

JAKE: I'm not even sure that I can talk to her very much on the phone. If we start talking about Paul right now and something she says pisses me off I could phase and she would not understand what was going on. I for sure won't be able to skype with her…that is absolutely out of the question.

She is going to think that I am an awful boyfriend not calling her or skyping with her after everything we shared while she was here.

EMBRY: Do you think that you would be able to agree to let Paul converse with her. Maybe he could help smooth it over for you. I think that he would do it for you if he thought it would help Bella feel better. I'm sorry Jake but I have watched him enough to know that he does want her safe and happy. I'm not sure why, but he does.

JAKE: Shit! This whole thing pisses me off! I already told Bella that I couldn't choose her friends for her and I meant it. I would never do that. I was scared of Paul because of his history with women but after listening to him I agree with you. It pisses me off and I want to rip his head off for wanting to be around my girl but if it makes her happy and keeps her safe; I will find a way to deal with it. I can't see him right now though. I swear I could kill him right now and not even feel bad about it! You will have to talk to him for me.

EMBRY: Okay Jake. I will talk to him.

JAKE: I will text her briefly just to check and make sure that she is okay. I will make up some excuse why we won't be able to talk for a little while. I will cross the Winter Break deal later… I guess we will see how I am handling everything by then. She will never understand if I don't see her at all while she is here. It will break her heart!

EMBRY: Let's just take it one day at a time. We have to get busy with training though Jake. We are going to work on phasing back and forth today.

JAKE: Will I be able to go home tonight?

EMBRY: Your dad knows what is going on with you. You could go home if it was only him but Rachel is there and you can't take that chance right now. ...maybe in a week or two we will be sure we find a way for you to see your dad; I know he's worried about you.

JAKE: Thanks Em. Let's get on with this training I guess.

It took Jake thirty minutes to change back to human form and he was absolutely exhausted by the time he did it. Embry was proud of him though. It had taken Embry 45 minutes; Sam too. Jake had surpassed both of them!

He changed back to a wolf fairly quickly but it still took him thirty minutes to turn human again. He continued to practice until he could barely stand up. He needed a shower, he needed Bella and he needed a long nap... and food too! Bella would be curious right away because she had told Jake that she would need to hear his voice when she got home tonight and he had promised to call her.

JAKE: Shit! I hate thinking about the doubts that Bella will have when I don't stay in contact with her regularly like I normally would. Hopefully, Paul will be honest and help me out where Bella is concerned. We'll see…my hands are tied; I have no choice but to try and trust Paul, even though every part of me is yelling not to.

Jake turned back into human form and quickly realized that he didn't have any clothes on. He was going to Embry's house and he knew that someone might be there to answer the door. Jake wasn't modest at all but he didn't want to alarm or embarrass whoever came to the door. All he could do was put his hands over his manliness and knock on the door with his foot. When Jake got to Embry's he knocked and Angela (Embry's imprint) answered the door. Her face turned red and Jake immediately felt bad for her. He apologized and she handed him some jeans to put on.

Angela introduced herself and Jacob did the same. As soon as he put his pants on she invited him in and told him that Embry said to show him the guest room. She told Jake to go on in and rest; she said supper would be ready in a couple of hours. She also told him that Sam had come by with some of his clothes and his cell phone and she had laid it all on his bed. Jake thanked her before going into the room that would be his for a while.

Angela knocked and said, "Jake. The towels are under the sink in your bathroom if you want to take a shower." He thanked her.

Jake thought that a shower sounded like exactly what he needed to relax himself for a nap. He decided to send Bella a quick text but not to wait for a response.

TEXT:

HEY BELLS. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU AND I HOPE THAT YOUR TRIP WAS SAFE. I AM REALLY BUSY WITH MY DAD TONIGHT SO I WON'T BE ABLE TO TALK ON THE PHONE. I AM SO SORRY THAT WE FOUGHT AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER. LOVE, JAKE

Jake laid his phone back on the bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. A shower had never felt as good as that one before. Every muscle in Jake's body was aching and he was exhausted, phasing back and forth was extremely difficult for him right now. Embry told him that it gets really easy but it takes time. Embry told Jake that he was actually doing very well.

Jake tried to quiet his thoughts and concentrate on the water beating on his body. The pressure in the shower was strong so it almost felt like a massage and he absolutely loved every second of it. He wrapped himself in a towel, locked his bedroom door and climbed in between the sheets nude. He wanted to sleep well and not be constricted; sleeping in the nude would help him accomplish that more easily.

Jake picked up his phone to see if Bella had answered his text but she hadn't. His phone had delivered the message but she hadn't read it yet. Jake tried to put all of his thoughts out of his mind and concentrate on his breathing. It worked, he was gone within three minutes of his head hitting his pillow.

Embry made it to Paul's and knocked on the door. Paul opened it and asked him to come in. Paul looked like he had been put through the ringer; he had large dark circles under his eyes and his face was full of stress and worry. The anxiety rolling off of him was palpable. The stress of everything seemed to really be taking a toll on him. Embry wondered if it was the stress between him and Jake or the separation between he and Bella. The more Embry paid attention to the signs, the more certain he was that there was more going on there than met the eye.

"Hey Paul." Embry began. "Hi." Paul replied.

"Paul, I spoke with Jake about the things that the two of you were arguing about." Paul just stared at Embry intently not saying a word. He was anticipating what Embry might say.

"Jake told Bella earlier today that he would not choose her friends for her. He told her that he trusts her but he doesn't trust you. He basically told her that it was her decision whether or not she wants the two of you to be friends or not." Paul shook his head when he thought about Jake not trusting him.

"Paul, you can't blame Jake for not trusting you. You have always been a womanizer and then Bella comes into the picture and all of a sudden you are caring and protective. It is a little hard for any of us to comprehend."

Paul replied, "I can't explain it to you. It just happened that way. I want something better in my life. I don't want to keep living the way that I have been living. I know that it isn't any excuse but with the parents I had, it is a wonder that I am even capable of having friends. I was with all of those women because I just wanted to feel something, feel anything. Sex gave me that feeling for a little while so I kept doing it. It was like a drug making you feel better for a little while and then you would have to get your next fix. I didn't think that I deserved anything better than that in my life, until Bella changed all of that for me."

Embry asked, "And you feel like you deserve more now? How has Bella changed your mind?"

Paul thought about the question before answering, "When I talk to Bella she speaks to me like I am somebody… somebody worthy of something. I don't know what else to tell you Embry. She is just good for me and I want to be good for her. I need her in my life; I realize that she loves Jake… trust me, I know."

Embry replied. "Okay. For now I will accept your answer."

Embry paused for a minute trying to find his words. "Paul. Jake doesn't fully trust your intentions and understandably so, but he has agreed to allow you to converse with Bella. It is going to be next to impossible for him to have much conversation with her for a while. I'm not even certain that he will be able to see her over the winter break; that is going to be extremely difficult for Bella and that is tearing Jake up. He thought that if you really cared about her maybe you would agree to help her through this, 'AS HER FRIEND PAUL'.

The stressed words from Embry irritated Paul. He said, "Jake is going to _allow_ me to talk to Bella? Really? He talks about her like he owns her or something."

Embry replied, "I don't know exactly how he worded it Paul…that wasn't a quote. She is his girlfriend Paul. He is agreeing to this because he cares about her and he thinks maybe you can make this easier for her. She will need a friend. My hope is that you won't make her feel like Jake is just ignoring her…"

Paul interrupted, "STOP! I care about her… that would upset her Embry. I promise not to say or do anything that I think will upset her. If I made her think that Jake was just being a dick and he had forgotten about her, it would hurt her deeply. I wouldn't do that to her. I will tell you though… Jake had no business doing those things with her, she is too young and to innocent."

Embry said, "That is really not our place to judge Paul. You of all people should know that. How many cherries have you popped?" Paul winced and realized that he had a lot to be sorry for himself but it didn't change his opinion on Jake and Bella.

Paul replied, "I know Embry and I am sorry for the things I did concerning women… I would truly take it all back if I could, but I can't. It doesn't change my stand on that this matter though. You should have smelled the sex on her Embry."

Embry replied, "I did. I smelled her on the beach…I know what you are talking about, but Jake really does love her and he is young too. He is a virgin too Paul."

Paul thought about that and said, "Okay. I have to say though that the next day she smelled even stronger and so did he. Her scent was all over his face and I got a whiff of that I thought that I would phase right then and there. It pissed me off instantly and thinking about it now makes my blood boil. I can't help how I feel Embry and I won't change my mind. I will do as you and Jake wish. I will be a friend to her and I will try to make sure that she knows Jake loves her. I don't have a choice if I want her to be happy."

The more Paul spoke about Bella the more Embry's suspicion grew, Paul was holding back, but why? Embry decided just to wait…eventually it would be obvious if there was anything to worry about and until then, they would stick to the plan. Paul and Bella would be friends.

Embry said, "Okay Paul. I'll see you later." Paul felt like he could actually breath by this point; he was glad that Embry had brought good news for him. Paul replied, "Later, Embry."

Embry left to go back home. Angela would have supper on the table soon; he didn't want to seem unappreciative by being late. He was crazy about that woman.

Paul's POV

I have been so worried. I don't know how I am going to handle any of this; my emotions are totally screwed up right now. Embry is right! I am different but I can't help it…Bella changed me and I could never revert back to my old self, even if I wanted to.

I am looking forward to contacting her. I miss her already; the separation is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. I want to get to know her and be her friend. She is such a special girl and I am so glad that she came back into my life again. When I saw her on the beach this weekend and caught her with my hands, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven the very moment our eyes met.

When Jake got up after dessert yesterday and announced that he was going to take Billy home, I knew that it might be my only chance to let Bella know that I truly care about her before she left to go back to Jacksonville. The relief that swept over me when she agreed to talk alone with me was a feeling that I will never be able to illustrate with mere words.

I became extremely scared and worried the moment Bella and I sat side by side on the porch swing because I immediately smelled sex all over her. I actually thought I might phase right there on Billy's back porch! The thought of Jake taking her innocence from her at sixteen or at all is too impossible for me to accept; now that I know her virginity is still in tact there is no way in hell I will ever allow Jake to take it from her. He will only manage that over my dead body.

I have to at least be her 'friend', even if it kills me; I'll be whatever I need to be for her right now. I am willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to be with her in any way that I can. She loves Jake but someday she will choose to love me of her own free will and when that day comes, I will be the luckiest man in the world. I desperately hope that day comes because I don't think that I will ever allow myself to use my gift to force her to choose me; I care too much for her to do that. I know that I have the capability to make her fall for me easily, but I will not subject her to that; I want her to want me because she chooses to. Nobody has ever wanted me, my own parents didn't even want me. There have been many girls who have wanted me for the night but that's about it.

I remember before my transformation when I went to school with Bella in Forks, I was drawn to her and if she would have been older I know that I wouldn't have thought twice about asking her to be my girlfriend. It wasn't the right time though, I was going into the sixth grade the next year and she was only going into the fourth… my friends would have never let me live that one down, even though they all did think she was pretty. I decided to watch Bella from a distance; always making sure that she was happy and safe.

Bella is older now and the age doesn't seem like as big of a difference to me. She is only three years younger than me but now that she has been tested and skipped a grade, she is only a year behind me in school.

I graduated last year and this fall I began taking college classes online. I haven't decided if I am going to continue taking online courses next year or if I am going to start at the University of Seattle; either way, my goal is to have my bachelors in psychology within the next three and a half years.

I want to contact Bella, every part of me needs to have some sort of contact with her. I hope that she is receptive to me; I have to believe that she will be.

Paul decided to go ahead and send her a text.

TEXT:

DEAR B-

I WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU GOT TO JACKSONVILLE SAFELY!

YOU'RE FRIEND – P

Paul held his phone in his hands; staring at it like his life depended on her response. She responded immediately.

TEXT:

DEAR P-

I ARRIVED SAFELY…THANK YOU FOR CHECKING ON ME. AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE FOR US TO BE FRIENDS, I KNOW THAT IT WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS BETWEEN JAKE AND I. I'M SORRY PAUL…I REALLY WANT THE VERY BEST FOR YOU. BYE…

LOVE-B

Paul's heart sank with her words, however the, 'Love-B' did make it easier, as did the fact that he could tell that she wasn't doing this because she didn't want to be his friend. She was doing this so that she wouldn't upset Jake. He couldn't let that be the end. He had to build a relationship with her and he needed to be there for her because he knew that Jake was going to crush her, even though he had no control over it.

Paul replied right back.

TEXT:

B-

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. I ACTUALLY GOT JAKE'S APPROVAL TODAY… HE IS OKAY WITH US BEING FRIENDS NOW. YOU CAN ASK HIM IF YOU WANT TO… HE WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING. I WILL TALK TO YOU SOON. OKAY?

-P

Paul waited…

TEXT:

P-

OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE JAKE IS OKAY WITH IT, BUT I AM GLAD! I WILL TALK TO YOU SOON… TOMORROW MAYBE.

-B

'Well, I didn't get a "Love–B" that time but she is definitely happy that we are going to be friends and she wants to talk tomorrow. Maybe I can actually get a good night's sleep tonight… I need one. I have truly felt like shit from the moment I said good-bye to Bella yesterday.' Paul thought.

Paul decided to ask her one final question before saying good-night.

TEXT:

B-HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING SINCE YOU GOT BACK TO JACKSONVILLE? YOU DON'T FEEL SICK OR ANYTHING FROM RIDING ON THE AIRPLANE? -P

P-WELL, EVER SINCE I GOT ON THE AIRPLANE TO COME HOME MY STOMACH HAS HURT. IT ISN'T TERRIBLE, IT'S MORE LIKE A DULL ACHE. I'M SURE IT IS JUST FROM NERVES BUT I WILL BE GLAD WHEN IT CALMS BACK DOWN. I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU ASKED THAT. DO YOU GET THAT WAY WHEN YOU FLY? -B

B-SOMETHING LIKE THAT. GOOD-NIGHT BELLA.

-P

P-GOODNIGHT PAUL. TALK TO YOU SOON!

-B

Paul hated that Bella had a stomach ache but he wasn't surprised, his stomach had been hurting ever since he left Charlie's yesterday after their talk. She was right though, it was a dull ache…it wouldn't be too difficult to bear.

TEXT:

JAKE…I WAS REALLY HOPING THAT WE WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO TALK ON THE PHONE TONIGHT BUT I UNDERSTAND. I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY WITH BILLY. I AM BACK HOME SAFE BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN MY MOM YET. SHE WON'T BE HOME UNTIL MORNING. SHE IS WORKING NIGHT SHIFT. I'M KIND OF GLAD SHE ISN'T HERE BUT I WISH YOU WERE HERE. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO BE HERE WITH ME ALL NIGHT LONG!

I LOVE YOU! - BELLS

PS PAUL SENT ME A TEXT TONIGHT SAYING THAT YOU WERE OKAY WITH US BEING FRIENDS. THANK YOU FOR THAT JAKE…

Bella's POV

I really wasn't sure why I responded to Paul's text before I responded to Jake's. I guess that it could be that deep down I was a little hurt by Jake. It just seems like he could have called me… even if it was only for a second to say, "Good night." It wouldn't have taken much longer than sending a text.

I am so glad that Paul and I will have a chance to become friends. Jake has told me what he thought about Paul, but I know that there is a lot more to Paul than meets the eye. He seems special and very caring; I think that Jake has him all wrong.

I have to go to sleep; I am very exhausted.

Where do you think this is going?

Just wanted to thank all of you who are following this story. I have been trying to keep up and PM you when you follow or favorite the story but I apologize if I have missed anyone. You are all awesome!

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	9. Chapter 9

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER NINE

'Vanilla Bean and Winter Break '

Jake slept for about an hour before waking up to the smell of food. Before he did anything else he looked at his phone to see if Bella had responded to his text and she had. To Bella Jake was making out like he was sneaking and using the phone that Billy had taken from him.

TEXT:

JAKE…I WAS REALLY HOPING THAT WE WERE GOING TO BE ABLE TO TALK ON THE PHONE TONIGHT BUT I UNDERSTAND. I HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY WITH BILLY. I AM BACK HOME SAFE BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN MY MOM YET. SHE WON'T BE HOME UNTIL MORNING. SHE IS WORKING NIGHT SHIFT. I'M KIND OF GLAD SHE ISN'T HERE BUT I WISH YOU WERE HERE. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO BE HERE WITH ME ALL NIGHT LONG!

I LOVE YOU! – BELLS

PS PAUL SENT ME A TEXT TONIGHT SAYING THAT YOU WERE OKAY WITH US BEING FRIENDS. THANK YOU FOR THAT JAKE…

Jake was glad that Bella had responded to him but reading Bella's text made him realize just how hard this was going to be for her. She was going to have a very hard time accepting this. It would probably feel like a slap in the face to her; you know, like the guys who sleep with girls and never call them back. It truly wasn't like that at all, but it would probably feel like that to her and it killed him that he was helpless to stop it.

He hated like hell depending on Paul Lahote for anything, least of all something that had to do with his girlfriend but the truth of the matter was, Jake didn't have any options at all. Paul was his only hope for the time being; he just hoped that Paul was on the up and up. Still, he couldn't deny that his gut was telling him that there was something up with Paul. He didn't think that Paul would ever do anything to upset Bella, but he also knew that there had to be something causing such a turn around in Paul. He wondered why he was showing Bella so much respect? There had to be a reason why Paul was going from a guy who only wanted to get laid by as many women as possible, to a guy that was concerned about whether or not other guys were treating their girlfriends with respect? Weird! Jake wondered if Paul felt like that about woman in general now or if it was just Bella. Jake's hands were tied now; all he could do was hope and pray for the best.

He didn't text Bella back because the whole point was for her to believe that Billy had taken his phone away… that way she wouldn't insist on talking with him on the phone or trying to Facetime him. He didn't like it but again, his hands were tied; Sam and Embry had laid down the law.

Jake slipped his jeans on and put on a brand new white t-shirt and walked out to Embry and Angela's kitchen. Embry looked up and said, "Hey Jake. Feeling better?" Jake nodded and thanked Angela for accepting him into their home. He knew that Embry had just imprinted on Angela, so they were still in the early stages of there relationship and having him around probably felt like an intrusion to her. They weren't married but Jake noticed that she was wearing some kind of ring… maybe a promise ring because he hadn't heard anything about an engagement.

Angela said, "Your welcome Jake. Our home is your home… if there is anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask."

With a sincere smile, Jake thanked her and then looked over at Embry.

Jake noticed the way that Embry stared at Angela; he looked at her as if she was the most amazing woman in the world. He looked at her like he had never been more proud of anything or anyone else in his entire life. He looked at her with a longing and a desire that almost embarrassed Jake; like he was intruding on a private moment or something. Angela looked at Embry like he was her savior; her trust and respect for Embry was impossible to miss. She looked at him like she couldn't wait to get him alone and have her way with him. She looked at him like he was the only man on earth.

Jake watched Embry and Angela's interaction with one another. It almost seemed like loss of contact between them brought physical pain to them… especially Angela. When Angela was in the kitchen, she seemed to keep her sights set on Embry most of the time. When they were in the same room, they never went without some type of physical contact. It was like they were magnets. When they walked by one another, their hands automatically reached out to touch. She cleared the table and he went behind her and wiped it, occasionally looking up to make eye contact with one another as they worked side by side.

Angela did the dishes and he stood with her hip to hip helping her dry them. He sat on the couch, she sat in his lap. She lay down on the couch, he sat down and held her feet in his lap; rubbing them until she fell asleep. It was obvious to the world that he adored her and she adored him.

Jake could only imagine what it would be like to live with Bella like that. He knew that Embry had imprinted on Angela, so he had to wonder whether it was even possible for him and Bella to have that kind of connection. It was obvious how much they loved and respected one another.

Jake asked, "Embry?"

Embry said, "What."

Jake wanted to ask about Paul but he was worried that he might lose his cool. Embry said, "Yes, Jake. I talked to Paul."

Jake let out a breath; he didn't even realized he had been holding it in. He asked, "And?"

Embry answered, "He is going to get in touch with Bella and he is going to do his best to help her through this. He says that he is doing this to help her. He plans to help her by befriending her Jake. I hope you are okay with that; you already agreed to it."

Jake was inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly in an effort to stay calm. Jake said, "I know that EMBRY!" He said through gritted teeth. "I know that I agreed to it but it doesn't mean that it doesn't piss me off and make me feel like shit!" Jake looked at Angela and apologized for the curse words that he said in her presence. Embry smiled at her and rubbed her back lovingly. She told Jake that she understood before going back into the kitchen to give them just a little privacy.

Embry said, "I know this sucks Jake and I'm sorry."

Jake replied, "Yes…it majorly sucks Em. I can't believe I have to trust Lahote with my future, of all people. What kind of a sick joke is that? I know that I don't have a choice; someone has got to be there for her when I can't. It's just that…"

Embry asked, "Just what?"

Jake replied, "It's just that I wish like hell that I could understand why Paul feels the way that he does about her. What has changed in his life? Has he really just given up the whoring around? I don't get it!"

Embry said, "Jake, I know what you are saying. I have been wondering the same thing but I'm not sure what all is going on with him. We have a lot of things that we need to focus on though to get you under control. You have to be able to control your inner wolf before you can't be around other people… especially Bella."

Embry didn't let Jake in on his suspicions about Paul because he knew that Jake couldn't handle it. He also didn't want to cause Jake to worry about something that may not even be true. If Embry's theory was correct and Jake found out, there would have been absolutely nothing that he or anyone else could've do to change it.

It had been at least an hour since they finished supper. Angela had made Lasagna, garlic bread and salad; it was amazing and the Lemon Crème Pie for dessert was an unexpected added bonus. Jake realized that he would be eating much better here than he would have at his own house. Jake and Billy didn't cook very well and Rachel wasn't that much better unfortunately. However, Jake was going to try hard to get himself under control enough to go home as soon as possible. Although Embry and Angela did everything they could to make him feel welcome, he still felt like he was intruding on their time together.

Jake blurted out, "I need to run Embry! Can I run?"

Embry asked, "As a wolf?"

Jake answered, "Yes. I need to run as fast as I can go… can I go alone?"

Angela walked back into the living room and Embry looked at her with an apologetic face. He mouthed, "I'm sorry!" Angela nodded and placed her hand over her stomach as if she was having some discomfort or expecting some sort of pain.

Embry said, "No. You can't go alone, I'll go with you but we have to be back within 30 minutes." Embry kissed Angela like he would never see her again. Embry looked at Angela and said, "It will only be 30 minutes baby, I promise." Angela nodded and tried to smile up at him. Jake went out the door, stripped, phased and ran as hard as he could with Embry on his heels.

For two weeks Bella hadn't heard from Jake. Part of her worried because she never expected it to be like this after she left. She had been talking with Paul a lot. Talking to Paul had actually become the highlight of her day. They would text back and forth a couple times a day and they talked on the phone every evening.

Paul told Bella that Jake had gotten into trouble because of his progress report, which had two failing grades on it. Billy had taken Jake's cell phone away and he was not allowed to use the house phone either. She realized that Billy had laid the law down with him, but how hard would it have been to borrow a friend's phone to send a quick text or go to a friend's house to borrow their phone a minute. Surely he could have gotten a message of his own to her somehow. She guessed that Jake figured Paul would tell her why he couldn't call or text, but it still surprised her that Jake hadn't tried harder to contact her on his own.

Didn't Jake miss her? Didn't he want to talk to her? Could she have misjudged his feelings for her that much?

As she sat there lost in her gloomy thoughts her phone vibrated. She looked down and was excited to see that it was Paul.

PAUL:

HEY VANILLA BEAN!

BELLA:

HEY PAUL! LOL TELL ME AGAIN WHY YOU CALL ME THAT.

PAUL:

BECAUSE BEAUTIFUL BELLA… YOU ARE FAIR COMPLECTED (the vanilla part) AND YOU ARE AS TINY AS A BEAN (the bean part). NOT TO MENTION HOW SWEET YOU ARE! PLUS, IT REMINDS ME OF THE VANILLA BEAN ICECREAM YOU SERVED WITH YOUR PIE AT THANKSGIVING. IT IS THE PERFECT NAME FOR YOU!

BELLA:

I LIKE THAT YOU GAVE ME A NICKNAME!

PAUL:

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WILL GET TO SEE YOU IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SO MUCH! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEE IF CHARLIE WILL LET ME PICK YOU UP FROM THE AIRPORT?

Bella hesitated…

PAUL TEXT AGAIN:

YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE LEARNED TO READ YOU LIKE A BOOK VANILLA BEAN! I CAN EVEN READ YOUR SILENCE. LOL

LET ME REPHRASE THAT…

IF JAKE CAN COME PICK YOU UP, OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULD WANT HIM TO COME. I UNDERSTAND THAT!

BUT… IF HE IS STILL IN TROUBLE AND CAN'T COME, I WOULD LIKE TO BE THE ONE TO COME PICK YOU UP. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

BELLA:

YES! I WOULD REALLY LIKE IT IF YOU PICKED ME UP... IF JAKE CAN'T.

Bella almost hoped that Jake wouldn't be able to pick her up because seeing Jake was going to be awkward, especially if things continued as they were and there was no communication to speak of between them. They had only text each other one time since she had been in Jacksonville. She was concerned about where she and Jake stood with one another. If Paul came to get her she would be more comfortable; she was more than excited to see Paul again and she knew that he felt the same way. It would be a little strange she guessed, since she had gotten to know Paul extremely well over the past couple of weeks but hadn't actually seen him during that time.

PAUL:

YOU KNOW…YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND… I KNOW THAT YOU AND JAKE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN BEST FRIENDS AND THAT'S OKAY, YOU KNOW I UNDERSTAND. I STILL WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MINE. I LOVE YOU VANILLA BEAN!

Bella's heart felt like it flipped over in her chest. Paul had told her that he loved her for the first time and he had told her that SHE was his best friend. She had to say something but she wasn't sure exactly what it was going to be.

BELLA:

JAKE IS MY BOYFRIEND…I THINK. YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND THOUGH PAUL AND I LOVE YOU TOO…VERY MUCH! I ALWAYS WANT YOU IN MY LIFE PAUL AND I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME. THANK YOU FOR BEING THAT KIND OF FRIEND TO ME!

PAUL:

YOU ARE RIGHT… I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU… EVER! JAKE IS YOUR BOYFRIEND BELLA…HE LOVES YOU…HE IS JUST IN TROUBLE SO PLEASE STOP WORRYING… THAT IS AN ORDER! LOL

BELLA:

IF YOU SAY SO PAUL. I KNOW THAT YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BUT WHY WOULDN'T HE JUST TAKE A MINUTE TO SHOOT A TEXT TO LET ME KNOW HE IS AT LEAST THINKING OF ME. HE COULD USE A FRIEND'S PHONE…IT WOULDN'T BE THAT DIFFICULT. THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON AND IT BETTER NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH LEAH.

PAUL:

I WOULD KNOW IF JAKE WAS TRYING TO PUT MOVES ON LEAH AND I WOULD NEVER LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT. DON'T WORRY YOUR SWEET LITTLE HEAD ABOUT ANYTHING.

BELLA:

I COULDN'T HAVE MADE IT THROUGH THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS WITHOUT YOU PAUL.

PAUL:

I'M GLAD THAT I COULD BE HERE. GOODNIGHT VANILLA BEAN. - P

BELLA:

GOOD NIGHT PAUL. - B

It was odd that Bella and Paul hadn't spoken on the phone that night; nighttime was when they usually talked about their day with one another. Paul and Bella's conversations would always last for at least an hour in the evenings, so Bella almost felt deprived that night.

Paul and Bella had some truths that they wanted to share with each other though and Paul felt like it would be easier for Bella to open up to him through text. He needed her to know that she was his best friend and he loved her. She needed Paul to know that she loved him too and she couldn't have gotten through the past couple off weeks without him. She also needed to hear from him that she was right in believing that he would never leave her.

Bella felt like she was a bad judge of character these days because she never, in a million years would have believed that Jake would have let anything or anyone keep him away from her.

Bella smiled into the dark as she thought about what it was going to be like to see Paul again. This time, when she saw him, she would actually know his heart and mind; and she knew that they were both beautiful things. He had told her some things that would have normally made her run in the other direction, but Paul had shared his feelings and past mistakes with her freely; he shared himself with so much honestly and trust that it seemed to make her love him that much more.

He was humble about a lot of things that he had shared with her; he never bragged or thought too highly of himself though. He was extremely regretful about things that happened in his past; at times it almost seemed as though he were apologizing to her with large amounts of regret and sorrow. She wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and touch Paul in those moments; she longed to comfort her friend with all of her heart. Seeing him this time would be so much different and saying that she was excited about it was the biggest understatement she could possibly make; she was ecstatic and every time she thought about seeing Paul, it immediately gave her butterflies; she often wondered what that meant.

Pulling her from her thoughts her phone vibrated. She wondered what else Paul had to say. It was Paul's phone but the message was obviously from Jake.

JAKE:

HI BELLS.

Instant uncomfortable butterflies came over her…what was she supposed to say to that? It had been two weeks of silence from Jake.

BELLA:

HI.

Jake's heart was racing due to her one word response. 'How could she ever excuse my behavior?' He wondered.

JAKE:

I'M SORRY BELLS. I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE THINKING, BUT I PROMISE… IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I HAVE BEEN IN TROUBLE AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ALLOWED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU. I AM SNEAKING RIGHT NOW BUT I HAD TO DO IT.

BELLA:

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULDN'T HAVE SENT ME A QUICK TEXT OR SOMETHING FROM A FRIEND'S PHONE BEFORE NOW. IT HAS BEEN TWO WEEK'S JAKE!

JAKE:

I KNOW BELLS. I'M SORRY HONEY. ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT THIS HAS BEEN EXCRUTIATING FOR ME AND I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. I KNEW THAT PAUL WAS GOING TO BE THERE FOR YOU WHEN I COULDN'T BE. HOW IS THAT GOING? ARE YOU AND PAUL STILL TALKING SOME?

BELLA:

PAUL AND I TALK ALL THE TIME… WE TEXT DURING THE DAY AND TALK EVERY NIGHT ON THE PHONE. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THROUGH THESE LAST FEW WEEKS WITHOUT HIM JAKE. Jake winced.

JAKE:

I AM GLAD THAT HE HAS BEEN THERE FOR YOU.

BELLA:

ARE YOU STILL ON RESTRICTION?

JAKE:

YES! I'M SORRY!

BELLA:

I NEVER IMAGINED THAT OUR TIME APART WOULD BE LIKE THIS.

JAKE:

I WISH IT COULD BE DIFFERENT BELLA.

BELLA:

WELL. IT IS JUST SOME MORE CRAP TO ADD TO ALL THE OTHER SHITTY STUFF IN MY LIFE.

JAKE:

PLEASE BELLA, TRY TO UNDERSTAND. I DON'T WANT THINGS TO BE LIKE THIS, I SWEAR IT!

BELLA:

WELL. I AM GLAD THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO CONTACT ME. I HAVE MISSED YOU JAKE. PAUL SAYS YOU LOVE ME AND THAT YOU AREN'T CHEATING ON ME BUT SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SILENCE.

JAKE:

I KNOW. PAUL IS RIGHT THOUGH BELLS…I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WILL ALWAYS BE FAITHFUL TO YOU. GOOD NIGHT BELLS.

BELLA:

NIGHT.

Jake's heart plummeted. He felt lower than ever. Jake knew that he and Bella's relationship was suffering greatly but he felt powerless to stop it.

Bella read their text messages over and over again before she put her phone down, cried her heart out and fell asleep. She was glad that he contacted her but the fact remained, he was still not aloud to call her so she wouldn't be hearing from him again any time soon.

She thought that she might be able to accept the lack of communication more if he would have snuck a text message to her once in a while; even a three word text would be better than nothing. It would have been so easy for him to do that but he didn't seem to think enough of her to make the effort.

She knew that her forever reliable Paul was the one who had insisted that Jake contact her that night; it was obvious since Jake sent the texts from Paul's phone, not to mention it had Paul written all over it.

Bella calmed herself and the last words she heard in her mind before sleep took her was, 'I love you Vanilla Bean.'

PAUL'S POV

'After talking with Bella tonight I knew what I had to do; I had to rush to Embry's and get Jake to contact Bella. I knew how much my Vanilla Bean had been worrying about everything. I need to do what I can to keep her negative thoughts to a minimum, if possible. I can't stand to see her worried. I was as honest as I could be about my feelings tonight, without scaring the hell out of her that is. She is my best friend and I love her very much.

I have so many feelings and emotions for Bella, things that for now I must keep held inside. I want to share all that I can with her now; all that is appropriate anyway. I want everything with Bella one day, but for now… I have to be as close to her in as I can. I refuse to let the powerful feelings I have for her take control… her friendship is enough for me right now. Isn't it?'

Another eleven days went by and her flight was leaving at 8am the next morning. Jake had only text Bella once during the last 11 days and she hadn't actually spoken with him at all since he dropped her off at the airport a month ago. She was hurt, but she seemed to be dealing with it all fairly well considering; thanks to Paul.

Bella didn't know exactly how this visit was going to go.

Jake hadn't tried to make any plans with her, nor had he made any promises to her. The truth was he never made any promises to her before she left… no lines drawn. She had agreed to it but she would have gladly drawn lines if he would have acted like he wanted that.

She was very nervous about where their relationship stood; she wasn't even certain they would ever find their way back to one another. It embarrassed her that she wouldn't have even heard from Jake the few times that she had if it hadn't have been for her best friend demanding Jake do it. Paul hadn't admitted that he was doing that but Bella knew Paul well and she felt sure he was.

Bella was excited to see Paul. Paul had spoken with Charlie and he had agreed to let Paul pick her up at the airport, since it was evident that Billy wasn't going to allow Jake to come to the airport.

Evidentially, Charlie had heard about Paul and knew that he was known for being a ladies man but Paul had been visiting Charlie since she had been away and he had actually come to like Paul. He trusted that Paul had Bella's best interest at heart and since the night Paul caught Bella on the beach, he hadn't been skirting around with anyone; he didn't have a desire to. He had turned down numerous women since then without so much as a blink of an eye.

Charlie didn't have a lot to say about Jake really and didn't know anything about his restriction; Billy had just said that Jake was having to concentrate on his education right now. Bella wasn't sure if Charlie thought that his excuses were legit or just bull crap. He didn't say and she didn't ask.

Bella had packed everything the night before, she only had to pack a small bag with her toiletries the next morning and she would be ready to go. Every time Bella thought of seeing Paul she had butterflies all over again. She knew they were only friends but for the last month, he had been the 'man' in her life and she was excited to see him again! Bella had felt a connection with Paul when she talked with him on Thanksgiving but she didn't know him then. Bella knew Paul better than anyone in his life ever had now; she knew that she was the only person that he had ever willingly opened up to. Bella knew that Paul believed that she would take anything he told her to the grave; Bella felt the same way about Paul.

They had communicated by talk, text and Facetime for the past month. Talking and sending texts over the past month had made it easy to say or ask whatever they wanted without the hesitation that comes with embarrassment; that has made it easy to learn a lot about each other. She knew that even in person, she would feel uninhibited with Paul; there would be very little if any embarrassment between them. That wasn't to say that she might not blush if Paul teased her about something, but she didn't think that she would ever feel the need to hide anything about herself from Paul.

Paul always thought that a Psychology major would be the best choice for him . He had confided into Bella that he believed that his rough childhood and a lot of shitty things that had happened in his life would make him empathetic, as well as sympathetic to the children and families that he would council. He knew what it was like to struggle emotionally and his dream was to council young kids and teenagers from broken homes and help them deal with the pain they were facing. Paul finally felt like his life had purpose and Bella liked to think that she played an intricate role in helping him realize that he was worthy of having great things in his life.

When Paul had a conversation with Bella he really listened to her. Bella always felt like what she was saying was important when she talked to Paul. It was like he hung onto her every word and she absolutely loved that about him.

She laughed at his corny jokes and he teased her mercilessly about her new hobby, which was water painting. When they Skyped, she showed Paul some of her latest pieces. Bella knew that her paintings sucked but she had a lot of fun doing it anyway, it made her happy. She knew that Paul sensed the joy painting brought her and it gave him a sense of peace to know that she was doing something that she actually enjoyed.

Bella knew that Paul had some things about himself that he held back, he had confided that into her. She knew that he would eventually reveal them to her but he had to do it in his own time, in his own way. She respected him too much to push him, or make him feel bad for not sharing it with her yet; so she never mentioned it.

Paul had talked to Bella some about the girls he had been with and why he felt the need to be with them. He felt ashamed of a lot of the things he had admitted to her but he trusted Bella and he was thankful to know that she would never judge him for past mistakes.

Bella told Paul that she was a virgin but that she and Jake had come very close. Even though Paul already knew all of what she confessed before she said it, her admitting it made it feel extremely real. He began to shake visibly that day but he focused on her breathing as she spoke through the phone and he was able to immediately calm himself. Bella had a huge effect on Paul.

The connection Paul and Bella have is almost tangible. Paul knew that when they were together in person, the connection would be even stronger; he knew that he would have to keep himself in check. Bella wondered if their connection would grow while they were physically near one another; she never thought she could become so connected to a person just by talking and sharing feelings through text and over the phone. She wondered if she and Jake would have been able to do that; for them things had always became physical and it seemed that was how they became closer and more connected. Did that say something good or bad about Jake and Bella's relationship?

Paul made Bella question different things in her life and one of them was how physical she and Jake had gotten so quickly and at such a young age. Paul told her that it was important to really get to know a person and feel comfortable sharing every part of yourself with that person before you move on to a physical relationship. He said that he was telling her this from personal experience and a lot of bad decisions that he would never be able to take back.

Bella thought that she had shared the deepest parts of herself with Jake, but the closer she got to Paul the more she realized that she hadn't. She had always held back a lot of herself from Jake, but never realized she was doing it; maybe she felt the need to protect herself for some reason. She didn't feel that way with Paul though; she knew that Paul was the only one that she would ever completely feel comfortable sharing her soul with and she couldn't help wondering if those facts said anything about what their future together held. She wondered if her and Paul's relationship would ever become physical or not. Now that they knew each other inside and out emotionally, would they want to get to know one another on a more physical level or would they remain strictly friends… she honestly wasn't sure what she wanted but she knew that she and Paul would figure it together.

Bella loved Jake very much, she always had; but with Paul she felt different; she felt whole. She decided to put all of that out of her mind and consider all of that later.

Bella's plane landed at the Port Angles airport right on schedule. Paul made sure not to be late and he stood waiting for her in the airport with a gift in hand. He had bought her a new set of paint brushes and he was very excited to give them to her. She had a gift for him also.

Bella walked into a waiting room full of people and immediately saw Paul. He looked even more handsome than she remembered. He stood about 6'2" and he was just as built as Jake. He was wearing dark jeans that hung low on his hips, a black tee shirt with a dark grey, v-neck sweater over it. His russet skin had a beautiful glow and he had sexy brown eyes, perfect eyebrows and high cheekbones. He was beautiful and she was sure that every female in the airport noticed his obvious beauty. Did she care what other women thought of him? Did she feel protective or possessive of Paul? Did she have a right to? Did she want a right to? She shook the thoughts away and focused on his beauty.

When Paul saw Bella their smiles widened to match each others and ran toward one another. Paul picked Bella up and spun her around in circles and said, "Vanilla Bean…it is so good to see you. I've missed you so much!"

Bella's heart grew twice it's size before Paul set her back on her feet, holding her around her waist until she could stand on steady legs again. Paul could hear and feel Bella's heart speed up rapidly and his other senses noticed many other things about her; however he forced those thoughts away.

Paul held a bag with tissue paper and he said, "I have something for you Bella."

She interrupted him. "NO, PAUL! Me first… please!" She reached in her bag and pulled out her gift for Paul. He quickly unwrapped it and recognized her workmanship. She had painted him an 8 x 10 picture of a wolf, but not just any wolf… it was obviously his wolf. She didn't even know anything about the wolves, how could she know or did she?

He said, "Thank you Vanilla Bean… I love it! It is the most special gift anyone has ever gotten me." He hugged her and asked, "Just curious. What made you paint me a picture of this particular wolf? Don't get me wrong, I love it! I just wondered what inspired your creation."

She smiled, happy that he thought she was creative. He was a wonderful friend and so careful with his words when it came to her. She answered, "Well, Thanksgiving morning I went outside to get the mail for my dad out of our mailbox. When I was walking back to the house I looked into the forest's edge and noticed a huge wolf… this wolf. For some reason I thought of you immediately, maybe it was because it was the morning after you had caught me on the beach when I tripped. It was the first time I ever remembered seeing you, until I realized you were the boy from the gym."

Paul was amazed that Bella had seen him watching her that morning. He had phased and was standing at the edge of the forest but he had no idea that she had noticed him. He knew that he couldn't share this with her right now, but finding this out made him love her even more somehow. However, he knew that they could only be friends… at least for the time being. She loved Jake and that was it!

Paul realized that on the beach last month was the first time that he had seen Bella since his transformation. When they went to Fork's elementary together it was before his transformation, he was only in the 5th grade the year he caught her in the gym and when he moved to La Push the next year, he went straight to Fork's Middle. He wasn't sure why all of these thoughts were coming to his mind but he knew that he was the happier in that moment than he had ever been.

Paul said, "This will go on my nightstand! It is the most special gift I have ever received and I will treasure it always. Suddenly he noticed the VB initials on the bottom left side of the picture." He said, "VB?" She grinned from ear to ear. "Vanilla Bean", I sign all of my pictures 'VB'. Paul smiled and said, "That's perfect!"

Bella excitedly said, "My turn now!" Paul handed her the small gift bag. She tore the tissue out of it quickly and pulled out the professional paint brushes that he had purchased for her. She grinned from ear to ear. She said, "Paul. These are amazing; they are top of the line professional brushes. You must have paid a small fortune for these brushes. Thank you!" She squeezed his neck and held him close, probably closer and longer than she should have. The way that she held onto him seemed completely natural to Paul, but it had affected him greatly, much more than he let on. He grabbed her bag with one hand and her hand with the other and they walked to baggage claim to pick up her suitcase. Soon they had picked up her suitcase and were in his car.

Bella got quiet. Paul said, "Just go ahead and ask Bella."

Bella had her lump in her throat, not only because of the question that was waiting on her lips but also because of the way that Paul had said her name. She would have preferred, 'Vanilla Bean' but Paul called her 'Bella' with a seriousness or maybe dread in his voice that made her nervous for some reason.

Paul heard her sigh and then suck in a breath before asking, "Am I going to see Jake while I am here?"

Paul knew that she was going to ask this question but he hated to be the bearer of bad news and he hated even more having to lie to her…it was basically an order from Sam and Embry though. He was told to help Bella through this thing with Jake and he was told to be her 'friend' and what they meant by that was for him not to cross the 'friend line'. Paul was trying damn hard to obey his pact order concerning the, 'Friend line' and so far he had done well he thought, however she had been hundreds of miles away… it would be more difficult in person; much more difficult.

Paul answered, "I don't think so Bella. His dad is very serious about his grades and he is trying to make a strong point with Jake and taking this particular stand with Jake speaks volumes. He said that he was not going to allow Jake to visit you and Jake isn't allowed to invite you over either. I'm sorry Vanilla Bean."

Paul saw one tear slip down her face and he reached to hold her hand. She squeezed his hand like she was hanging on for dear life. She said, "I prepared myself for this Paul, but I hoped that I would be wrong. I'm not going to let it ruin my trip though! It is Christmas, a time to celebrate. I have my dad and I have you. What more could a girl want?"

Paul answered, "It is okay to wish you could be with him. I know that you love him Bella and I understand. I just want you to understand that your happiness is more important to me than anything. You and I are close, very close. We have spent almost a month opening our souls to one another, sharing feelings that we haven't shared with anyone else before. We've shared things with one another that we promised we would take to our graves."

Paul paused and collected his thoughts. He wasn't certain that he wanted her looking into his eyes as he finished his thought, so he looked down at their intertwined fingers and began playing with her tiny fingers. He continued, "Just because we are closer than most people who are dating or married, doesn't mean that I feel I have a claim over you. You have a boyfriend already and I knew that before we became close friends; I don't expect you to forget the plans that you had before I came into your life… that wouldn't be fair to you. I just wanted to get all of that out in the open, because I always want my heart open to you. Someday I will completely open my mind to you also. There aren't a lot of things that I haven't shared with you Vanilla Bean, but obviously there are a few things. We have plenty of time though and soon we'll finish revealing everything there is to know about one another. Until then, let's just enjoy what we have every single day. Okay?"

Bella said, "Okay!" It was true, they would always have an unbreakable bond and she knew that. She decided to quit thinking and just start enjoying her week and a day with the two men who are currently present in her life, her dad and Paul.

Paul asked, "You ready to go see you dad, Vanilla Bean?" Bella smiled and told him she was.

They talked and laughed all the way to Charlie's and he realized that her leaving and going back to Jacksonville was going to be torture for them both. He decided to push the thought away and enjoy the time they had together. She would be in Forks for a week and a day. He would have a nice visit with her.

Paul's POV

'I hope that one day I can be completely honest and open with Bella; I want her to know everything that is in my mind. I want her to know about my wolf, my entire life and the extent of my true feelings for her. She has heard the legends already, and for some reason I feel I could help her through learning all of the facts.

Things are complicated right now though, so I am going to have to continue to hide much of myself from Bella and the pack. I know that Sam, Embry and even Jake are wondering about my intentions with Bella and why I have changed my life so drastically. I have totally quit obsessing over and conquering women; the truth is, I don't miss it at all. When I dream, I dream only of Bella. I have to hide that from her though; I have my reasons for not wanting her or the pack knowing all of what is going on with me right now. It will all come out in my time, in my own way… no matter how difficult it is for me to conceal."

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Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	10. Chapter 10

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TEN

'Above all is Friendship'

Jake felt like an absolute dick for not making it his top priority to make sure Bella never questioned his love for her. He did such a poor job that he figured she questioned all the intimate moments they had shared together, if not completely regretted all of them. He thought that what they shared was precious and he thought she was amazing but he was feeling very low right now and couldn't seem to pull himself out of the hole he had found himself in.

At first everyone thought that Jake was going to be a natural, he had gotten phasing back and forth down to a science and could do it just as fast as all the other wolves. Jake ran faster than all of them and he was stronger than all of them with the exception of Sam but he could even give him a run for his money. The only problem was Jake had Bella on his mind, so one minute he was moping around about not being able to see her or contact her; and the next minute he was pissed off at the world. Being angry caused Jake to begin starting trouble with everyone and phasing when he didn't actually intend to. Embry was concerned about Jake being in such close proximity to Angela but decided that as long as he could be there whenever Jake was, she would be safe. Embry also took comfort in the fact that Angela had a calming effect on Jake; it seemed she could settle him down when no one else could. Embry suspected that she must remind Jake of his mom and when he asked Jake about it he immediately realized that was the case. Sarah had only been in her twenties when she was killed, so Angela probably looked nearly the same age.

Every day Jake wished he could contact Bella but he had been in so such turmoil that he couldn't even form sentences that didn't have a negative connotation. The few texts that he had sent, Angela helped him with. Speaking to Bella over the phone was still impossible and Skyping was entirely too dangerous; he could phase in front of his laptop and then what? He had hoped by this point he would be able to contact Bella but Sam and Embry were adamant that he would not be contacting her any time in the near future.

Jake felt like his entire existence was a complete pile of shit and he was pissed as hell. Embry kept telling him that he was going to have to deal with it and come to terms with his destiny or he would never get to see Bella again. Jake knew that it was true but still, he struggled everyday.

He had become pretty comfortable with Paul being there for Bella but he continued to feel unsure about the changes in Paul. It seemed as though Paul lived to help Bella through this; like it was just as, if not more important to him as it was to Jake. He had also completely given up women and didn't seem to even miss it.

Paul had been getting laid at least 8 times a week before and now he is getting nothing…absolutely no action whatsoever. Just over a month ago he had all kinds of women coming and going from his house, every day of the week. It always seemed to amaze Jake that none of the women cared that Paul was emotionally withdrawn or that to him it was nothing but hot, casual sex. They were all sluts for sure, but it was still action.

Paul had stopped cold turkey! How could he do that? Jake imagined that it would be hard for any man. It seemed like you would have withdraws or something; like going off of drugs or something. Paul didn't even seem tempted to revert back to his old self. Jake had been watching him and knew that there were still girls coming to Paul's house but they never managed to step even one foot inside his door. Jake had even overheard Paul apologize for using them for sex, even though he knew that they were probably doing the same thing with him. It was like watching that Mathew McCaunahay movie about the girlfriend's of his past or something.

Jake didn't see any other choice other than to trust Paul to have his back. Jake had read some of the texts that Bella and Paul had exchanged, Paul knew that Jake was reading through them but he didn't seem to mind. There was no doubt that the two of them had become extremely close friends but Jake did find that Paul had been encouraging Bella that he still loved her and that there was no way he was cheating on her with Leah. Jake was happy to see that, but he wasn't so happy that Paul had a pet name for his girlfriend. He confronted Paul about calling her, 'Vanilla Bean' but Paul just told him that they had become best friends and he was going to have to deal with how close their friendship had gotten. He told Jake that he wasn't going to back off and make her feel even more shunned than she already felt because of his silence. That was a stab to the gut and then a twist. Jake had always been Bella's best friend and he knew he had lost that forever (stab) AND the mention of Jake's silence making her feel shunned (twist of the knife). Yes….his life officially sucked!

Jake couldn't argue with him. Paul was right and if Jake asked him to back off, it would've been the most selfish thing he ever did. After their conversation Jake phased without trying and ran for hours feeling completely out of control until Sam and Embry could chase him down and put him back in line.

Paul and Bella reached Charlie's but they sat in the car for a few minutes, they were holding hands in complete silence. They were just happy and entirely content being in each other's presence. Bella worried that saying good-bye this time would be even more difficult than saying good-bye to Jake. She would be saying good-bye to a person that actually held her heart in his hands…her savior.

Paul asked her, "Are you ready Vanilla Bean? I know Charlie is anxious to see you."

Bella nodded. They walked in hand and hand feeling closer than ever. Paul would come back out for her bags after he got her in the house to see her dad.

Bella ran to Charlie and jumped up in his arms. With her eyes closed and a smile on her face she said, "Dad. I have missed you soooo much. I hate living down there."

Charlie said, "Shhhhhh. It's okay Bells. I missed you too."

Hearing her dad call her Bells made her think of Jake and she looked up at Paul who knowingly mouthed, "I'm sorry." Paul could read her like a book and he knew that looking into his face and hearing his voice would ease her pain.

Charlie set Bella down on her feet. He said, "Let me look at you Bella. You get more beautiful every single time I see you."

Paul had to add. "She sure does!"

Charlie looked over at Paul with a curious look on his face but quickly let it go to visit with his daughter.

Charlie asked her about her classes, their house on the beach and he briefly touched on Renee and Phil. Bella could tell that Charlie was still hurt by the cold way Renee had left him but especially for how she took his daughter. It was a huge blow to his heart and to his self-esteem; Bella worried that he might not ever get over it completely. However, he was still dating Sue and they seemed extremely happy and content. Bella tried to answer the questions her dad asked honestly without upsetting her him too much, but she knew that her dad was well aware of how miserable she had become.

Paul expected Bella to ask her dad the obvious question and he already knew what his answer would be. She asked, "So dad, have Billy and Jake been coming over for Sunday dinners?

Charlie answered, "Billy has been coming every other week, but I haven't seen Jake since the day you left. Billy says that he is on restriction and won't be able to see any of his friends over winter break; sorry Bells. He must really had some bad grades for Billy to be this tough on him. This is extreme and Billy is usually pretty laid back with Jake."

Bella simply said, "Okay" and changed the subject. She asked Paul if he would help get her bags and carry her big suitcase upstairs to her room.

Paul's heart began to race at the thought of going anywhere near her bedroom, but he concentrated on both of their breathing and managed to act perfectly natural.

He said, "Sure thing!" and then followed her outside to his car. He popped the hatch back of his car and grabbed her suitcase while she grabbed her carry-on from the back seat. He looked at her and smiled.

Paul asked, "You okay Bella?" She seemed to be trying to hide her feelings. He walked over to her and reached for her hands. He lifted her chin so that he could look into her milk chocolate eyes, he really wanted for her to hear him with absolutely no confusion about what he meant.

He began, "Don't do this Vanilla Bean."

She replied, "What Paul?"

He answered, "It's me honey and you don't ever, ever have to pretend around me. I don't care what it is… I always want you to be honest and open with me. It is the most important thing in the world to me Bella. I want to be the person you can count on to stick by your side no matter what, for better or for worse. Bella, there is nothing you could say that would make me love you any less or make me stop being your best friend or stop me from having your back. I am bound to you for life Vanilla Bean; you are stuck with me whether you like it or not. Okay?" Paul winked at her and placed his index finger on her nose.

Bella nodded and Paul continued, "You know my past and you still love me; I know that you want to be that person for me too. Right?"

Bella nodded and said, "I love you Paul, you are the best friend any girl could ask for. I do want to be that person for you and I will be. I would die if you weren't in my life; it would be something that I don't know that I could overcome. You're right, I know that I don't need to hide my feelings from you. I wasn't really trying to hide anything from you Paul, I promise. I just don't want to spend the majority of our time talking about Jake and how his absence makes me feel. I want to enjoy my time with my dad and I want to enjoy my time with you."

Paul smiled from ear or ear; her words meant the world to him. He knew that he couldn't but he longed to be with her every minute of every day and night. He didn't want her to feel the need to talk about Jake all the time or even think about him constantly.

Paul said, "I want that too Bella. That's enough serious talk. Let's get your bags upstairs."

They walked back inside and Bella said, "Follow me. I'll show you where you can put it." Before Bella and Paul went upstairs, Paul stopped and spoke to Charlie.

He said, "Charlie I am going to carry these upstairs to Bella's room… if that's okay with you." Charlie could see that Paul's face was sincere so he nodded and they headed upstairs.

Paul followed Bella into her room and set the suitcase near her dresser so that she could unpack.

He said, "If you are going to unpack now, I will stay and talk to you while you do."

Bella nodded. Paul picked the suit case up and placed it at the foot of Bella's bed so that it would be easier to unpack and he unzipped it for her. She thanked him and began to unpack.

Paul sat in Bella's rocking chair and watched her as she moved gracefully around her room. He loved watching her, smelling her and just being near her.

He said, "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

She said, "I think that Charlie has to work today so I won't be doing anything with him. I thought that I would cook you and Charlie supper tonight, so later I will probably need to go to the grocery store but other than that I don't really know."

She thought for a few minutes and asked, "Where do you live? I've never seen your house…can we go there?"

Paul smiled at her and said, "I don't think so… not today."

She looked at him with a question mark plastered all over her face that immediately turned to a look of concern. Paul knew what she was thinking and even though she didn't realize why she cared so much, he did.

He said, "No, Bella. I'm not trying to hide anyone or hide the evidence of anyone. My house is a mess and there is absolutely no way I am taking you there to see it today. You can come over tomorrow afternoon. Okay?"

Bella smiled, "Okay, okay. You don't want me to see what a slob you are?"

Paul laughed and said, "Well, this semester two of my online classes are kicking my butt. I have to keep an A average and I have had to work harder for those two A's than any other grade I have ever made. I have had three tests this week, so I had a lot of studying to do. I also had a paper that was due yesterday. I have had all of that going on and I talk to you until the wee hours of the morning pretty much every night. I haven't had a lot of time to clean house the past couple of weeks."

She made a mock sad face and said, "Oh… you didn't tell me how busy you have been. I wouldn't have kept you up so late talking Paul."

Paul replied, "I know. That is exactly why I didn't tell you. I wanted to talk to you! Don't worry about my classes… I have an A in everything Vanilla Bean." Bella loved that Paul wanted to talk to her and she was happy that he was keeping his grades up despite the fact that he was staying up talking with her until the wee hours of the morning a lot of nights. She would have felt terrible if she would have been the cause of his grades slipping.

Bella smiled sweetly and said, "I love talking to you every night too! I'm proud of how well you are doing in your classes Paul! I understand… tomorrow afternoon it is!"

Paul smiled and said, "We could go walk on the beach."

Bella looked over at him and crunched her face all up.

He said, "I know Bella but you can't just not go back to the beach because you spent time there with Jake. You also spent time there with me, your dad, Billy and a lot of other people during your last visit."

She smiled and said, "You're right. Let's go! Maybe we will see some of those crazy people who surf in December."

Paul laughed and said, "We probably will!"

Bella continued to unpack as they talked about different things that they wanted to do over the break and Paul told her that on Wednesday night the gang was having a bonfire at Embry and Angela's house… he quickly told her that Jake wouldn't be there so she wouldn't be concerned about it. She seemed okay with the fact that he wouldn't be.

She said, "Angela?"

He smiled and said, "Yes. Angela Webber. She and Embry are living together; I wouldn't be surprised if Embry pops the question before long, she already has a promise ring. She took her GED this past summer, so she isn't going back to Forks anymore. She's not working right now, she stays at home. She has really been fixing up their house and working in the yard; it looks amazing. I think that Angela could be an interior designer or a landscape architect. She's very talented!"

Bella said, "Angela? Oh my gosh. Everyone loved her in school. She was three years older than me so we didn't have any classes together, but I knew some of her friends and they would talk about her often. I doubt she would even remember me but the few times that she spoke to me she never treated me like I was younger than her and I loved that about her. I'm glad that she found someone like Embry… I have always liked him."

Bella thought for a minute and asked, "Oh! She's not pregnant is she? Please, tell me she's not!"

Paul laughed and said, "No, Vanilla Bean! Just in love."

She said, "Well, I'm looking forward to officially meeting her!"

Paul smiled knowing that Bella had something good to look forward to.

Bella finished unpacking, zipped her suitcase and started to carry it to her closet. Right as she was passing Paul, she tripped on the strap that was hanging and landed right in his lap. Just as she landed on his lap, her ear grazed over Paul's warm, moist lips and she had instant chills. The chills went from her ear to her scalp and neck and reached all the way down her back to her butt.. Paul's senses went into overdrive but he kept his cool and held her in his arms until she got her breath. She relaxed into Paul's chest and listened to his heart beating in an attempt to calm her nerves.

Bella wasn't sure but she thought she was sensing Paul's awareness of the effect he was having on her. Paul was her best friend though and although he was obviously hot and beautiful, she shouldn't be having those kinds of feelings for him, she was still technically still Jake's girlfriend.

Paul whispered, "It's okay Vanilla Bean. Really honey, you are my best friend and I don't ever want you to feel weird about your feelings for me." Paul kissed her on her cheek, which just made her heart beat faster. In an attempt to distract Bella from her nervousness he picked her up bridal style and threw her on her bed; he turned and started running down the stairs yelling back, "Last one to the car is a rotten egg!"

Bella ran down the stairs, knowing full well that Paul was going to beat her to the car. She kissed Charlie and quickly said, "Have a good day at work; I'm cooking supper for you and Paul tonight so come home hungry!"

Charlie replied with a smile, "I think I can manage that!"

Bella ran outside and down the steps; Paul was hiding in the bushes and he jumped out. Bella squealed and he picked her up bridal style and spun her around in circles before taking her and sitting her in the passenger seat. He said, "I guess I'm a rotten egg!"

She smiled and said, "Paul, you let me win!"

He said, "Yeah! I'm pretty sweet like that."

She said, "You are the best friend in the world!"

He laughed and said, "I know. You are too Vanilla Bean."

Jake was in wolf form when Paul and Bella pulled in Charlie's driveway. He saw them sitting in the car when they drove up and all he wanted to do was tell Paul to get the hell out of there, so he could be with Bella.

When Bella got out of Paul's car, Jake realized that in just a month she looked older and more beautiful. He longed to be with her but Sam and Embry had laid down the law and the truth was that Jake was closer than he was supposed to be right then.

When he noticed that she and Paul were holding hands, it was all he could do to keep hidden in the forest's edge. He wanted to step out and give Paul a good warning but he knew that Bella would see him. Jake was furious and he hoped for Paul's sake that the hand holding was a friendly thing and nothing more.

Jake knew that for some reason Paul had gone upstairs with Bella and was in her room. It pissed him off because he had never even been in Bella's room before. At first Jake thought that maybe he was just taking her suitcase upstairs and would turn around and go back down, but no… he stayed in there for at least thirty minutes.

Jake's POV

'What in the hell is he doing up there… he better be watching himself. I swear seeing Paul and Bella together is going to be pure torture for me. I probably deserve it; I hurt her deeply… if I could just learn to control my thoughts and emotions I would not be in this predicament. I would be the one in the house with Bella right now. What's this? Now he is holding her in his arms and spinning her around in circles. Laughing and playing with her like they are completely comfortable with one another. He sure is doing a good job at making things easier for her; she seems plenty happy, that it for damn sure.'

Bella plugged in her Iphone with the auxiliary cord and started playing her music through Paul's stereo system. Paul's car was really nice, it was a 2012 Black Mustang Convertible GT. It had tan leather interior and a stereo system that would knock your socks off. Bella couldn't wait to go riding in it with him during the summer time so they could put the top down.

Paul had told her one night that although his parents were as sorry as hell, he did have a biological grandfather that took care of him financially. Paul had moved out of his foster families house a year ago. His grandfather bought him a house and a car. He told Paul that as long as he continued to stay in school whether it be high school, or college he would pay his bills and make sure he had everything he needed and most of what he wanted within reason. The deal was that Paul had to keep an A average; he told Paul that he would not support a slacker. His grandfather told him that if he let his GPA slip one semester, he would be okay as long as he didn't make anything below a B and he brought his average up by the next semester.

Paul thought that it was a sweet deal and told Bella not to worry about whether he could make the grades or not; he said that school had always come fairly easy for him and maintaining that was a cakewalk compared to the shit he had been though with his parents and foster family. I did as he asked and stopped worrying about it; trusting that Paul had his life under control.

Paul and Bella parked at the beach and got out of the car. He reached for Bella's hand and they began walking down the beach together.

Paul said, "Now… I insist that we make some new memories here on this beach." Bella's eyes got as big as saucers and he said, "Bella… please! That isn't what I meant!" He laughed and continued, "I just think that you should make a lot of different memories out here, that way every time you come to the beach, you won't be able to focus on any one memory. Do you know what I mean?"

Bella answered, "Yep! What did you have in mind?"

Paul smiled, kneeled down and bent his head over. He said, "Get on my shoulders!"

Bella laughed out loud. She was barefoot, had a short skirt on and a knit sweater with a tank underneath. She really wasn't dressed for the beach at all, but she knew that Paul could wrap her up and keep her warm if he needed to.

She said, "Paul! Really? Look at me… you have got to be kidding me right now!"

He insisted, "What? Yes, really! Get on!"

She replied, "No way Paul!"

He questioned her, "Why not Vanilla Bean?"

She frowned up and said, "Because Paul… I'm wearing a short skirt, haven't you noticed."

He answered, "Of course I noticed, so what?" He could have never, in a million years, missed her sexy little legs in that short skirt.

She said, "No Paul!"

He smiled and raised his eyebrows. He said, "I don't mind!"

Bella hit him and said, "You're a pig Paul."

He laughed and said, "I'm just being funny Vanilla Bean. I do want you to get on though. Do you have panties on?"

She blushed and said, "Of course I do Paul… I'm not one of those…" (She was referring to the hussy's that Paul used to hang around.)

She stopped herself from saying what was on her mind, because she saw the pain that it brought to Paul's eyes. Now she felt guilty so she said, "Okay Paul. Since it is you I guess it will be okay. You have a way of getting me to do what you want, don't you?"

He replied, "It's not my fault Vanilla Bean. I just bring out the rebel in you I guess."

Bella laughed and climbed on. She immediately felt the heat from Paul's neck pressing between her legs and it felt completely erotic to her. Being with Paul was completely out of the question but somehow it was still a major turn and it made her crave him terribly. She wondered what was wrong with her but decided to quit thinking about it and just enjoy the feeling that he was giving her; she was just trying to embrace this new memory that she was making with her best friend, Paul.

Paul's POV

What in the hell was I thinking. Making a memory huh! Yep, this is a memory that I will be reliving, in my own bed, every damn night for probably months. I know that I will never be able to erase this memory from my mind and I will never, ever want to.

Bella's legs are wrapped around my neck and it feels amazing; I can't get the image of her being wrapped around my face going in the other direction out of my head. All I want to do right now is spin her around and put my nose where it desperately needs to be. I want to take her panties off and…

'STOPPIT! SHE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!'

I can't help myself. I close my eyes and inhale everything that is Bella. She is intoxicating and in this moment I can actually feel my eyes going up in my head. I am trying desperately to keep my wolf in control. HE loves the smell of her arousal, HE loves the way she feels, He loves the sound of her voice, her heart beat and her breath. He longs to take her right here on this beach.

'NO! NOT NOW! That will not be happening unless it is over my dead body.' I tell my wolf.

She does smell amazing though… so sweet, so fresh. I smelled her before on Jake and had about lost it, now I was smelling it for myself and it is incredible. Her pheromones are completely obvious, unmistakable. I smelled them earlier in her bedroom too, when she fell into my lap and now they are even stronger and more intoxicating. Her body's wants and needs are flowing from her core; begging me to take her. I swear it is all I can do not to give into this torture.

She doesn't realize, she doesn't understand and I absolutely won't take that step with her… not yet. She still has very real feelings for Jake and she would regret anything that happened tonight if I let it progress; not to mention the fact that it could damage our friendship and I am not willing to let that happen… ever!

I reached up and placed my fingers on her waist and tickled her trying to distract us both from the need that we shared for each other.

Bella whispered, "Paul?"

Paul answered, "Yes Vanilla Bean?"

She tried to continue, "I… um…" She paused for a few minutes in thought. Paul stayed perfectly silent but continued to walk down the beach.

She tried to begin again, "I just have to be honest with you Paul…"

In one fluid swoop Paul gently pulled her from his shoulders until he was holding her bridal style in his arms, never missing a beat as he continued walking down the beach. He looked into her face and said. "Okay…what about?"

She continued, "I love you Paul."

He replied, "I love you too, Vanilla Bean." He knew there was more and he was trying desperately not to be impatient with her.

She continued, "I have a lot of feelings going on in me right now; feelings that I don't even understand."

Paul nodded knowingly but remained silent.

She said, "It's just that even though I have all of these feelings the most important feeling I have is my love for you and the importance of our friendship. I have to figure out all the other feelings but no matter what happens I never want to lose what we have Paul. Ever! Promise me Paul!"

Paul said, "I promise Vanilla Bean… we'll never, ever lose our friendship no matter what turns our relationship takes" He leaned over and rubbed his nose on hers and kissed it softly.

Bella was thankful that Paul understood what she was saying; she didn't want to try to find more words to explain her feelings. She curled into his chest, pressing her ear there so she could listen to his heart beating as he walked down the beach carrying her in his arms.

She said, "There is no better place than being in your arms Paul… I could be happy right here in your arms for the rest of my life."

The words she spoke meant more to him than anything she could have ever said to him. He was exactly where he wanted to be for the rest of his life and she was the only one he would ever hold in his arms… ever again. It was her or nothing.

Man, does Paul have willpower or what?

How do you feel about the feelings that Bella is having?

Should Paul push harder or will his patience pay off in the end?

Thank you all for your comments and for all of the follows and favorites! It has been so encouraging to me! I have tried to PM each of you as your follow or favorite my story, but if I missed anyone, I apologize! You are all so amazing!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	11. Chapter 11

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER ELEVEN

'Heat in the Kitchen'

Paul and Bella made it back to the car, thankfully they had managed to calm themselves down. They were able to regain their composures but they both knew that it was a significant turn in their relationship. Their connection was both emotionally and physically powerful; there was no way that their reactions to one another that afternoon on the beach would be an isolated incident. They both knew that it was just a matter of time before they found themselves drawn to each other physically again. However, they were also in agreement that their friendship was more important than anything. It absolutely had to remain intact because no matter what decisions they made about their future, they would forever more be best friends above all… Paul promised her that and he would never break a promise to her.

Bella said, "So, what would you like for supper?"

Paul replied, "Whatever you fix will be perfect Vanilla Bean."

She said, "No. No. No. I asked you what you want to eat for supper."

He said, "I don't know. What is Charlie's favorite? How about I choose the dessert that I want and you can make your dad's favorite meal."

She smiled and said, "Sounds perfect! Do you like steak?"

Paul smiled and said, "Do wolves howl in the wild?"

Bella smiled and said, "Yes… I think they probably do actually."

About that time they heard a tortured howl coming from the woods on the edge of the beach. Bella laughed, so Paul smiled but he knew that it was Jake in the distance; he figured that he could expect a visit from the lonely wolf later.

Bella asked Paul if he would mind grilling the steaks while she made baked potatoes, roasted green beans and a big salad.

Paul agreed to before she asked, "So what are we having for dessert?"

Paul smiled and said, "Peach cobbler and Vanilla Bean ice cream!"

Bella smiled knowing 'Vanilla Bean' was Paul's pet name for her. She said, "You got it! Dad even has peaches in the freezer that we bought back in July from a produce stand. They will be really sweet the way that I prepared them before I put them in the freezer." Paul and Bella went to the grocery store and made it back to the Charlie's by 5pm.

Charlie hadn't made it home yet so they still had a little time to themselves before he was due to come in. Paul carried the groceries in for Bella and they began working together to unpack everything they had purchased. Paul insisted on paying for the groceries and he even bought Charlie a six pack of beer to drink with his steak. It amazed Bella, although she understood why, but Paul never got carded. He certainly didn't look his age, he looked like a grown man and no one ever questioned him.

Bella turned the top and bottom oven on to preheat. She was going to cook the cobbler in one and the baked potatoes and roasted green beans in the other.

Paul asked, "So what first?"

Bella didn't even have to think about it, she knew how to run a kitchen. She answered, "Well, between the prep work and the baking time, the cobbler is going to take the longest, so I am going to start with that."

Paul asked if he could help and she began calling out the ingredients, size bowls and dishes that she would need; she also needed the rolling pin. He helped her locate everything in Charlie's kitchen and then they began.

Bella began with the piecrust; Paul measured all of the ingredients as she asked and poured them into a mixing bowl. He did the mixing and got the dough ready to lay out. She asked him to scatter flour over the counter and she dumped the dough out on top of it. She stood with her hands in the dough after scattering flour on top so that it wouldn't stick to her hands. She began to press and knead the dough.

Paul asked, "Can I help?" She looked over and smiled at him without saying a word.

He stepped behind her, so close that she thought she might ignite. He wrapped his arms around her, landing them on her hands to help her knead the dough. She leaned her head back into his chest and he laid his cheek against hers. She could feel his warm, sweet breath on her cheek.

He whispered, "Bella…"

She whispered back, "Paul?" He moved his head back and forth causing a little friction on her cheek before letting his hot, moist lips brush lightly over her neck. She leaned her head to the side, giving him the access that he silently demanded.

Paul whispered, "Is this okay?"

Bella nodded but didn't say a word. Paul slid his floury hands up and down Bella's arms leaving white streaks as proof of his touch.

He said, "Bella, I am so lost in you right now. I can sense how I make you feel and it drives me crazy."

She whispered, "I know Paul… the feelings that I have for you are so confusing."

Paul nodded, skimming over her cheek with his lips as he did.

Paul placed his floury hands low on Bella's hips and firmly turned her around to face him; he completely enclosed her with his body.

Bella looked up and Paul bent over; their faces were so close that they had begun to share each and every one of their heavy breaths. Bella was lost in him and she could barely breathe for more reasons than one. She could feel the cabinets with her butt and her entire front side was mashed against everything that was Paul. She placed her arms around his neck, knowing full well that she was getting flour all over him but neither of them cared.

Paul grabbed her around her waist and lifted her to sit her on the table before he began rubbing his nose all over her face, inhaling the incredible scent that was driving him absolutely insane. She could feel his sweet, hot breath all over her face and in that moment there was no where else either of them wanted to be. He loved how intimate the moment had become, even though they hadn't even shared a kiss, touched one another sexually or even crossed the line with their words. They had only shared their emotions with one another and Paul knew that if that was all they shared for now, it was plenty for him.

They heard the door open and Charlie walked into the kitchen. He looked at his daughter sitting on the table with Paul's cheek against hers; he had flour all over the back of his neck and she had flour up and down her arms, on her waist and hips.

With an eyebrow raised Charlie asked, "Um… am I interrupting something?"

Paul answered, "No sir."

Bella answered, "Hi Dad. I was showing Paul how to make the crust for peach cobbler and we somehow got wrapped up in each other and ended up with flour all over us."

Paul laughed at her explanation and so did Charlie. Paul wondered how Charlie could ever be upset with his daughter? She was so damn cute!

Charlie figured that his daughter and Paul obviously had feelings for one another that went beyond there unique friendship. Charlie had grown to really like Paul over the past month and he knew that Paul wasn't trying to just have his way with his daughter, as his reputation would suggest. Paul cared deeply for Bella and as far as Charlie was concerned, Bella could do a lot worse than Paul. Paul brought something special out in Bella… it was apparent that he was good for her. Charlie wasn't sure where Jake fit into this equation or if he was even still in Bella's life, but he would talk to Bella later and try to figure some things out.

Charlie said, "Why don't you two run upstairs and clean up in the bathroom. I will wash the baked potatoes and wrap them in tin foil while you're gone."

Bella kissed Charlie on the cheek quickly and said, "Thanks dad!"

They ran upstairs; Bella tripping on the way up and Paul catching her before she fell, just like always.

Once they got upstairs, Paul lifted Bella and set her on the counter in front of him. He got a wash cloth and wet it with warm water. He reached and lifted her arm and began to wash the flour off of her. He slowly wiped her, rinsing the cloth and squeezing it out every once in a while.

Paul smiled and Bella questioned him, "What?"

He replied, "It's just that…"

He put the warm cloth up to her cheek and wiped the flour from her face. He hated to do it, because she looked so cute with it on her face.

He continued, "I'm just really glad you're home."

She smiled and said, "Me too. You have no idea."

When Paul was finished she took the cloth and began washing the flour off of him. She told him to turn around and she reached to wash the flour off the back of his neck. She laid the cloth down on the counter but Paul didn't turn back around.

Bella had her legs spread apart so that Paul had plenty of room to stand against the counter in front of her. She placed her hands on his strong shoulders and began to massage the muscles she found there, she could have sworn she heard a growl coming from deep down in his chest.

She said, "Paul?"

He said, "Yes, Vanilla Bean."

She continued, "I still…"

Paul stopped her by turning to face her and placing a finger over her lips. "I know… you still love Jake."

She nodded without losing eye contact with Paul. She said, "I'm sorry."

Paul replied, "You don't ever have to apologize to me about your feelings Bella. I know that you still love Jake and I know that you love me too."

She said, "I do love you…very much, obviously in more ways than I previously thought."

Paul said, "We will figure all of this out. I don't want you worrying about me or him or anything else. Just take your time; your feelings will work themselves out. I'm not going anywhere…ever; I will be your best friend until you take your last breath. I told you before… when I say forever, that is exactly what I mean. Do you understand what I am saying, Vanilla Bean?"

Bella nodded and said, "Thank you Paul… thank you for being so patient with me."

Paul nodded and they shared a hug before Bella headed downstairs. Paul stayed back, he needed a couple of minutes to collect himself.

Paul's POV

'I never expected what happened in the kitchen with Bella; I didn't think that the day could get anymore tortuous than our time together on the beach had been. Being so close to Bella felt amazing, her scent and the feeling I have when my body presses against hers is unbelievable.

I managed to keep it all together somehow; I didn't even kiss her. We hadn't done anything that I regretted; there wasn't anything that I wished I could take back. We had been intimate with one another, but it hadn't turned sexual at all; the sexual tension was painfully obvious, but neither of us acted on it and I was thankful for that. Bella admitted that she still loved Jake, she didn't have to do that because I already knew. I know that she is confused right now and rightly so; I hate that for her. I, on the other hand, have never been more certain of anything in my life. I want Bella and only Bella for the rest of my life.

I will be patient and let her work out her feelings for Jake though. She will have to come to her own conclusions as to what she wants to do and who she wants to be with. I can only hope that in the end my patience will pay off and we will spend the rest of our lives together. If not, I will always and forever be her best friend and that will have to be enough.'

When Paul made it back downstairs it was time for him to put the steaks on the grill. Charlie had already lit the charcoal and the coals were white. Bella gave Paul the platter of steaks and he placed them on the grill closing the top.

Charlie stepped outside and stood with Paul for a few minutes in silence. He broke the silence. "Paul?"

Paul answered, "Yes, sir."

Charlie began, "I really like you Paul and I can see that you bring something special out in my daughter. I am a little confused about a few things though, so I thought that I would just come right out with it. I haven't seen Jake around and Bella isn't talking about him at all. She seems very happy with you and it is obvious that you adore her. What do I need to know Paul? Should I be concerned about Bella?"

Paul paused for a moment, he needed to collect his thoughts so that he could form coherent answers to Charlie's questions.

Paul began to try and explain, "I like you too Charlie and I respect you very much. What you need to know about me is that I love your daughter more than anything in the entire world. She is the best friend I have ever had. I know that there is way more to our relationship than friendship but Bella has unresolved feelings concerning Jake. If Bella decides that she wants to be with Jake or any other man, I will still be in her life until the day I die. Regardless of what else we become I will always, first and foremost be her best friend."

Charlie was thoroughly impressed with Paul's maturity.

Paul continued, "I guess the answer to your question is that I don't think you need to be concerned about Bella. She is just trying to figure out her feelings right now Charlie; she needs a little time. She is just realizing that she has more feelings for me than just friendship but she also knows that she still loves Jake or she thinks that she does. The thing is, Jake has been in trouble so they haven't been able to talk or see one another. She hasn't had the opportunity to figure out how she actually feels about him now. A month has gone by and she still hasn't had the opportunity to tell Jake how much she loves him or how angry she is with him for not contacting her. She hasn't had the chance to tell him to go to hell or to kiss her ass. She is in limbo Charlie and that is a sucky place to be. I will figure out a way for her to see Jake so that she will have an opportunity to begin sorting through her feelings; it is the only way for us all to move forward."

Paul paused in thought before continuing, "As for Renee, she is still furious with her and she absolutely hates Jacksonville. She wants more than anything in the world for you to let her stay here in Forks." Paul got really quiet.

Charlie said, "What is it? Tell me what you're thinking Paul."

Paul replied, "She is so unhappy Charlie, it breaks my heart. I would give anything to see her happy again, isn't there any way that you can let her move back here, to live with you?"

Charlie remained quiet for a minute. He said, "I have actually been giving that a lot of thought Paul. I hate knowing that she is so unhappy living with her mother. Renee is so self-centered and Bella is so giving of herself; I swear if it wasn't for her looks, you would never guess that Renee is her mother."

Paul was waiting for him to elaborate on what he had been giving a lot of thought to, but he remained quiet. Paul's hopes were increasing with each second that went by.

Charlie said, "I have decided to ask Bella if she wants to stay. I have already requested her grades and I called Renee and told her that if Bella wants to stay, she would be moving back to Forks to live with me. She is furious but she has brought all of this on herself"

Paul picked Charlie up and said, "Oh my gosh! Really, Charlie? You have no idea how happy this is going to make her. When are you going to tell her?"

Charlie replied, "I'll ask her tonight while you are here so you can enjoy the look on her face too."

Paul couldn't stop smiling…he was not going to have to be without his Vanilla Bean for months at a time anymore. That feeling completely sucked and he didn't want to experience it ever again. Paul grabbed the steaks off the grill and brought them to the table.

It took everything in Paul to contain his excitement, but surprisingly he managed. He, Charlie and Bella were eating when all of a sudden Charlie says, "Bells?"

Bella looked up at him and said, "Yes?"

He continued, "I need to ask you a question."

She had a worried look on her face but she said, "Okay Dad. What is it?"

Charlie asked, "What would you think about staying here and living with me in Forks. Would you like that?"

Bella jumped up off her seat and started crying and squealing. She hugged Charlie and thanked him profusely.

He said, "I have missed you so damn much Bells. It has been hell here without you."

Bella looked up at Paul with tears in her eyes and said, "Paul, we won't have to say good-bye. I didn't want to have to say good-bye to you, ever!"

Paul smiled and said, "I know Bella… I didn't either. I have ever been happier than I am right now."

Paul picked Bella up off her feet and spun her in circles in the center of the kitchen. He set her down and they hugged each other tightly; neither of them were in any rush to let go.

Bella was on cloud nine as she served dessert. The two men in her life raved about her warm, creamy peach cobbler and vanilla bean ice cream. Bella told Paul that she would wrap up part of it for him to take home.

Paul and Bella did the dishes together and turned the lights off. Charlie had fallen asleep watching TV, it probably had a lot to do with the 4 beers he drank with dinner.

Bella motioned for Paul to follow her upstairs to her bedroom. Paul became a little anxious but he happily followed her.

She said, "I want to put something more comfortable on and then I thought we might watch a movie. Would that be okay?"

He said, "Sure. Sounds great."

She went over and shut her bedroom door. She went to her drawer and pulled out some pj's. The top was a baby blue tank and the bottoms were white with the words, 'Let it Snow' written all over them in baby blue. They were short shorts.

Bella told Paul to cover his eyes so that she could change. He didn't know why she couldn't have waited or at the very least gone to the bathroom to change. Was she trying to push every button he had today?

Paul laid back on her pillow and covered his eyes, however he couldn't help peaking to see if she was actually changing right there in front of him… of course she was. With her back to him she slipped her skirt off and put her short, short pajama bottoms on. Thankfully, she left her skimpy navy panties in place; Paul had already caught a glimpse of them earlier on the beach. Then, she slipped off her sweater and let it fall to the floor. She unhooked her navy bra which clasped together in the front; it too fell to the floor before she slipped on her tank.

Before she turned around to face Paul she said, "Okay… you can look now!" She acted like she was unaware that he had been watching her the entire time. He knew better though; she wouldn't have been changing there, in the middle of her room, if she didn't want him to watch but he didn't mention it.

Her tight little butt cheeks were peaking out the bottom of her shorts and his blood was boiling in his veins. She turned around and picked up her dirty clothes to put them in her hamper. He realized when she walked towards the bed that her tank top was almost completely sheer and he was able to see her beautifully perky breasts with little to no effort. His length was throbbing in the tight crotch of his jeans. He focused on her breathing and calmed himself down until the throbbing subsided.

She casually pranced over to her flat screen and began looking through her DVD collection. She said, "How about Dirty Dancing?" Paul shook his head no.

She asked, "What about Step Up (the first one)?" Paul shook his head no again.

Bella said, "Okay. Let's try an action. Abduction or White House Down? If I am going to watch an action movie, it at least has to have a hot guy in it."

Paul smiled and said, "Okay. White House Down."

She said, "Good choice."

Paul was still lying on his back. Bella put the movie in and crawled into his arms. She was laying on her right side with her left leg draped over his legs. Paul thought that she looked amazing practically naked and wrapped around his body.

Bella asked, "Are you comfortable Paul… in those jeans, I mean." Paul couldn't believe how forward Bella was being tonight and he wondered briefly if she (he was finally going to allow himself to think it out loud) could be feeling the imprint.

He smiled and said, "Well, I'm certain I could be more comfortable without these jeans on Bella, but Charlie is downstairs; besides I don't want to complicate our situation any further Vanilla Bean. I am trying very hard here, not to do anything we might regret later."

Bella thought for a minute before saying, "Paul, there is something that I want you to know."

Bella picked up the remote and hit pause.

Paul questioned her. "Okay. What is it?"

She explained, "Jake and I had a talk before I moved away…"

Paul was hanging onto her every word.

She continued, "We decided not to make any promises to one another or draw any lines that we might be tempted to cross. We said that we still considered ourselves 'together' but we still weren't going to draw lines, that way if one of us ever did get with someone else, it wouldn't be cheating. This way, we could somehow try to forgive the other so that we could either get back together or remain friends. That is how we left things when I moved to Jacksonville. It hurt like hell but that was a decision that we made together. I wanted to tell you that because I didn't want you to think that I was considering breaking a commitment that I had with Jake. I know that you sense my feelings for you Paul… I know that you can read me like a book. I just didn't want you to think that I am some kind of little cheater or a slut or something."

Paul sat up against the head board and pulled Bella into his lap. He looked directly into her eyes and brushed her hair out of her face before he began, "Thank you for telling me Bella. I am really glad to hear that, but I never thought you were a little cheater or a slut. I could never think those things about you Vanilla Bean. You are the most precious, sexiest, most exciting, most considerate, smartest and craziest girl I know. Don't feel like you have to apologize for having feelings for me that go beyond friendship. It is normal for close friends (when it is a male and female) to sometimes blur the lines between friends and lovers; it happens all the time.

Sometimes friends make the best lovers and the best couples because they know the deepest parts of one another and the love they have just grows even stronger in spite of what they might learn about the other. It is obvious that we are sexually attracted to one another and that is something that we have no control over; we can only control our actions. I truly feel that there is way more to us than friendship; I have felt that way ever since I saw you on the beach before you moved away.

There are still a few things that I haven't opened up to you about though Bella, I have told you that before and you have graciously been patient about it." Paul looked into her eyes even more closely and he noticed that she looked concerned.

He said, "Don't worry Vanilla Bean! It isn't anything bad, it is just something that happened to me and I don't feel I can become sexually involved with you until you are aware of it. I also can't become sexually involved with you until I know where you stand with Jake. If you decide that you want to be with Jake, I will still be here. I will always remain your best friend and I will always love you until the day that I die."

He paused but he wasn't finished. "You are very young and very innocent Bella. I don't want you to rush into anything with me or anyone else. I respect you and I would wait years to have sex with you. I'm not saying that I don't have needs because I do, but I don't need to rush this. You mean too much for me to do that. I know that you have experienced a taste of what intimacy is like, so you have desires of your own but if we decide to be together, we can take this slow.

Bella said, "I don't know how slow I want to take things Paul but we'll take things one day at a time for now. I guess that I need to see Jake… I have no idea how I feel about him now Paul. I don't feel as close to him; I know that for a fact. I don't know if it is because of the silence or if it has more to do with how close you and I have become. I need to figure it out, so I wish there was a way to see him. Do you think that Billy might let him meet me just for a little while?"

Paul answered, "I don't know Vanilla Bean. I will try to find out. Okay?" Bella kissed Paul's cheek and said. "Thanks Paul. You're the best!"

Bella paused before continuing her thought. "When are you going to open up to me Paul? When are you going to tell me what you have been holding back from me? Whatever it is will not make me feel any differently about you, it won't scare me and it won't cause me to leave you. I will always be here for you, just like you will be for me."

Paul waited and said, "Soon Vanilla Bean… soon. I am not frightened about many things but this scares the hell out of me. Trying to explain this to you is going to be the most difficult thing I have ever done. It is going to be very overwhelming news but I know in my heart that it will be okay. Not tonight though Vanilla Bean…soon, very soon…I promise! Don't worry. I know that I am probably just saying enough to make you worry but really you don't need to. Sometimes it is just hard to confess certain events of your life, even to someone who loves you."

Bella said, "Okay Paul. I can wait until you are ready. I do have one thing to ask of you though Paul."

Paul was scared to ask, he knew that she was going to ask for something that he had told himself he would wait for.

She said, "Please, kiss me Paul. Not a little peck like is acceptable between friends. A real kiss. I want to experience the passion that I think you have for me; I need this Paul… I need it so badly."

Paul laid her back down beside him and slipped back down so that he was lying next to her. They looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. A million thoughts running through their minds.

Paul whispered, "Are you sure Bella? What if I start kissing you and I can't stop. I want you so badly."

She whispered, "It's okay. Whatever happens, it is you and me Paul; I need to feel as if we are one. Not just mentally but physically, whether it is just a kiss or something much more. Let's just not think about it…okay?"

Paul nodded. Paul reached and rubbed her face gently with the backs of his fingers. He placed soft kisses on her nose, both cheeks, her forehead and then her lips. He began rubbing his lips all over her face. The warmth of his breath was heating her from the inside out.

Paul inhaled her sent, her pheromones were stronger than ever; he assumed the anticipation of what might happen was an extreme turn on for her and he knew in that moment that she wanted it all with him, just as much as he did with her. He was still trying to keep his mind alert and not let his body completely take over.

Paul reached underneath her long silky brown hair; holding the base of her neck, he crashed into her lips without anymore hesitation and she parted her lips begging him to deepen the kiss. His soft tongue caressed hers, however the urgency in the kiss was unmistakable. Her hands laced Paul's hair and she pulled and tugged at it, letting him know that she was enjoying every second of what they were doing.

Paul's hands began to roam, he flipped her on top of him and for a brief minute she sat on his crotch, paying close attention to how he felt as she pressed herself against him. She lifted his shirt and slipped her hands underneath. Her nails dug into him; she was trying to push him even further. Paul's mind was having a hard time standing up to the wants and needs of his body.

Bella got up and locked her bedroom door. When she returned she laid beside him, both of them breathing harder together than they ever had before.

She whispered, "Paul?"

He said, "Yes, baby?"

She said, "That was the most incredible kiss I have ever had in my entire life."

He said, "I feel the same way Bella." For Paul that was saying a lot, because he had kissed more women than he could ever begin to remember. For Bella to say that meant that it was a better kiss than any she had ever shared with Jake and that was the most amazing information he could have received.

Paul crashed back into her lips letting his tongue dance with hers again. He couldn't seem to control his roaming hands, but so far he had managed to keep them over her pajamas. He slipped his large hand up her short, shorts and squeezed her butt cheek with urgency. He pulled away from the kiss and she immediately felt rejected.

He said, "I want this Bella, I want all of it with you but…"

She said, "But what Paul?"

Looking into her eyes, he smiled. Tucking a wild strand of hair behind her ear he began to explain, "But… you have some decisions to make before we can charter into these particular waters Vanilla Bean."

She said, "I already know that I love you and I want everything with you Paul."

He said, "I know Vanilla Bean but we can't just do this and hope for the best. I can't do this wondering if I am going to have you to myself or have to share you with another man. When I say, 'share' I mean share your love. Me being your loving best friend and someone else being more. I could never share every part of you with someone else, it would kill me. I have to know where I stand first; you mean too much for me to take this lightly. I'm sorry Vanilla Bean… you have no idea how much self control it takes to say this to you; I have no idea where the strength is coming from."

Bella nodded and said, "Well, can you sleep with me tonight? I need you to hold me all night Paul."

Paul nodded and said, "Of course."

He started getting under the covers with her and she said, "Really Paul?"

He said, "What?"

She asked, "Are you really going to sleep in your clothes?"

He said, "You are seriously going to kill me Bella; I think I could possibly die tonight from deprivation. I am trying to stay in control here but you continue to make it harder and harder for me."

She smiled, biting her lip in amusement.

She said, "Well, if you will do what I want, I promise not to push…. not purposely anyway."

He eyed her suspiciously and asked, "What do you want me to do Bella?"

She said, "I want us to lay side by side, in my bed, all light long."

Paul knew there was more, because that would be way too easy. He asked, "And…"

She smiled bashfully and it melted his heart. She answered, "Naked. I want us to hold each other completely nude all night long. I need to feel your warm skin against mine and I want us to become familiar with each other's body. I want you to touch me anytime you want and I want to be able to do the same thing. We can wait to take the next step but I crave this with you Paul… I need it! I'm not sure why I feel the need for this Paul but it is almost like I ache to feel you next to me… like this I mean."

Paul knew why…he was feeling the same way. Paul felt guilty about it but the truth was, he really was trying desperately to fight the powers of the imprint. He was purposely trying not to let the powers affect Bella; the wolf was fighting him tooth and nail, so it was going to continue to be extremely difficult. He was trying not to use anything supernatural with her but there was only so much control he had over his wolf now that she was home. He really felt the need to give her what she was asking for, but he knew that he needed to proceed with caution.

Paul sat up on the side of the bed, praying that he was strong enough for this. Bella walked around the bed to stand between his legs. She lifted his arms and pulled his shirt off, she looked down and noticed the marks that her fingernails had left a few minutes ago.

She said, "Oh. I'm sorry Paul." She began kissing the marks on his chest.

He said, "I wasn't complaining Bella; it was amazing. I'm sure they will be gone by morning anyway… I heal quickly."

Paul stood up and took his jeans off, leaving his tight black boxers in place. They stopped and kissed each other passionately, careful not to loose themselves completely. Bella lifted her arms and Paul slipped her tank top over her head, running his hands down her sides. Her breasts were in his face but he still hadn't opened his eyes.

She said, "Paul, please." He opened his eyes and realized that she was more beautiful than he ever imagined. He rested the top of his head right between her breasts and closed his eyes. He inhaled her scent deeply and he could feel his eyes rolling up into his head.

Bella placed Paul's finger tips at the waist of her shorts. Paul looked into her face, he needed desperately to focus on something other than what he was doing. He pulled her shorts down and he tossed them to the side with force. He wasn't angry but he was frustrated…sexually frustrated and he knew that he was in danger of losing control.

Bella stood there in nothing put her skimpy navy panties and Paul sat there wearing nothing but his tight black boxers.

He said, "Let's get in Bella."

She shook her head no and said, "I want to see everything, I don't want you to hide from me Paul; we'll get in after we finish undressing.

He nodded, still trying desperately to keep himself and his wolf in control.

Bella laid back on the bed with her legs hanging off the side of her bed. Paul grabbed her panties around the waist and pulled them until they were hanging around her ankles. He hadn't looked at her yet. He took her panties off of her ankles and set them to the side. He slowly looked up at her body and his breath caught when he noticed her bare mound that was obviously calling his name. The growl within his chest was unmistakable and his eyes were black with need.

He said, "Oh dear God Vanilla Bean. You are seriously going to be the death of me. You are so sexy and I love that you are bare. There are so many things that I am dying to do to you right now but I won't…we will wait, we have to wait."

She said, "I know Paul."

Paul knew what was coming next and it scared the hell out of him. He was very comfortable in his skin; he was completely confident in his manhood and knew that he had never had a complaint. His fear had nothing to do with her seeing him nude; his fear came from removing the only barrier he had between his body and hers. His boxers were his protection and once they came off, he wasn't sure how much willpower would remain.

She said, "My turn." She sat on the edge of the bed with Paul standing directly in front of her. He backed up a little, giving her a perfect view. She reached for his waistband and pulled his boxers down, letting his member spring free right in her face. He had a full erection on and as soon as she saw it, she began to hyperventilate.

He got down on his knees in front of her and kissed her on the lips. Placing his forehead on hers, he began to breath deeply, allowing her to focus on him. He said, "Stop worrying Vanilla Bean. Nothing is going to happen tonight but when it does I promise it will be perfect."

Still, with their foreheads together she whispered, "But Paul…"

He interrupted her and said, "Have I ever lied to you Bella?"

She shook her head no and he continued, "Well, I don't plan on starting now. I will help you through everything; you will love every moment of it."

She said, "Okay Paul. I trust you."

She looked into his eyes and said, "Do you know how tiny a tampon is… just the regular strength?"

Paul knew where she was going with this, but he let her continue, "A tampon completely fills me up Paul; I must be very, very tight."

He smiled at her sweetly and said, "I'm sure that you are Vanilla Bean but a tampon is different, you know? It is an uncomfortable intrusion of a foreign object. God made men and women to fit one another in this way Bella. It will hurt a little to begin with but I will help you through that part and then you will be begging for the full length of it… I promise."

Bella wasn't sure about that, but she had no other choice except to trust Paul.

She looked down at him again and took him into her hand, kissing the tip of his head lovingly. Paul thought that he would come completely unglued but he managed to keep it together.

Bella climbed into her bed and Paul followed. Paul laid his arm out so that she could snuggle into him. She slipped her leg over his and mindlessly let her fingers tickle his muscular chest and rub over his hardened nipples. She pressed her breasts against the side of his body and he could feel her hot, bare mound pressed against the side of his hip. His erection was throbbing and he was uncertain as to whether he could actually calm himself enough to go to sleep or not. Bella picked up the remote and began the movie.

While the movie was playing Bella let her left hand roam his body, never hesitating to touch whatever she wanted to. Paul loved every minute of it and he was proud that she liked touching him. Paul tickled up and down the side of her body, rubbing the side of her breast as he did and it was tearing him up. He loved her bare mound and he had plans to explore a little more… later. She wanted him to explore her right then and he could think of nothing he would rather do more, but he knew that it would just heat them both up even more and if he lost control she would gladly take the next step with him. He knew that, for that reason alone, it was best to wait.

About half way through the movie Bella fell asleep. He turned her away from him and pulled her sweet scented body into him. He was still very erect and right now he had it mashed against her tight ass. He lifted her leg a little and tucked himself between her legs so that he could be very close to her. He was pressed up to her lips and he could feel the moisture escaping her core. He laid his arm over her waist and placed his hand on her bare mound,. He never expected her to be clean shaven; he wondered what had inspired that and how long she had been shaving.

He kept his hands very still; he closed his eyes and focused on her breathing. Eventually, the throbbing subsided, his erection relaxed and so did his mind. Thankfully, after much convincing and constant prayer, he fell asleep thirty minutes later.

She wanted them to explore each other anytime they wanted… he grant her that wish.

She wanted them to sleep in the nude together… he was able to grant her that wish as well.

He wanted to wait for this to go further, he needed to be more certain of their future… she granted that request for him.

He wanted more time before confiding his most difficult truths into Bella… she respected that request as well.

He was proud that they were able to please each other and make compromises that were important to each of them.

Paul's POV

I am so overwhelmingly thankful that Charlie decided to ask Bella to move back to Fork's and live with him again. Being apart from Bella has been extremely difficult; I missed her while she was in Jacksonville more than I could ever show.

Since the imprint I have been able to manage the dull ache due to our separation; however the thought of Bella having to endure it is extremely difficult for me to accept. Bella thought that her cramping was caused by nerves, but I knew differently. I have heard that the further away from your imprint you are the less the pain is, so while she was in Florida I did take some comfort in that fact.

When you and your imprint are apart but in close proximity, the pull is stronger between you; causing more pain for you both. I'm not worried about myself, but I worry what that is going to mean for Bella. When it was explained to the pack, they compared imprinting to magnets. Once the magnets are separated by a lot of space, the pull isn't as strong; however the closer the magnet gets to metal, the stronger the pull becomes until you have no choice but to surrender to it.

Soon, Bella will probably notice that when we are apart her pain will increase but when we come back together her pain will immediately subside. She won't understand why, but she will notice it because it will be completely obvious; this will begin as soon as I leave to go home in the morning. Knowing this makes me want to take her home with me and never let her go, but I know that there are too many circumstances preventing me from doing that right now.

I'm hoping that not accepting the imprint fully yet will help; I am not letting go… I have too many reasons I can't. Hopefully, she won't feel the pull as strongly since I haven't surrendered to the wolf yet. Holding back is the hardest thing I have ever done during my entire life, hands down.

I honestly didn't think that I would be able to hold myself or my wolf back tonight. I want everything with Bella and the pull is incredibly intense for me. What still seems remarkable to me is that when we went to school together in Fork's, we were very young… she was in the third grade and I was in the fifth grade that year. That was years prior to my transformation, however the moment our eyes connected in the gym that day, I was completely drawn to her in a way that I can't describe. I didn't understand why I became so protective of her so abruptly; all I can assume is that my future wolf knew who she was already and what she would mean to me.

I'm going to tell Bella everything but I am trying to figure out just how to go about it. She is my imprint so I am aloud to share all of the tribes secrets with her. I just have been holding back because of the situation with Jake.

I need Bella to choose to be with me because that is what she wants for herself, not because of imprinting powers; for that reason I will not completely accept the imprint yet… I will fight the wolf as long as it takes. I need for her to end things with Jake on her own free will. Jake is my brother and I care a great deal for him but my feelings for Bella are all consuming; unfortunately brotherhood can't even compare to that.

I haven't really encouraged Bella that Jake loves her since she has gotten back to Fork's. I encouraged her through texts before I saw her, but I can't bring myself to continue doing that. I don't ever see myself saying anything negative about Jake, but at this point I have to let her know how I feel about her and let the chips fall where they may.

One thing that I have really been worried about is that I have known what has been going on with Jake and I have kept it from her. I even lied and told her that he was in trouble about his grades. I was told to do that by Sam and Embry and I had to follow their orders; however, I have never lied or held back information from Bella before and it goes against everything in my nature to do that. All I could do was tell her that there were a few things that I had not completely opened up to her about. I told her that several times and she has been patient with me.

When I tell her everything, she will realize what has been going on with Jake; she will know why it was impossible for him to contact her. Will that make her more understanding with Jake about his silence? I feel like my life is in limbo and there isn't a damn thing that I can do about it.

Bella said that she really needs to talk to Jake and I completely agree with her. I told her that I would try to make it possible for that to happen. The truth is, I am going to have to convince Sam and Embry. I know that won't be an easy task.

Bella is feeling at least some of the imprint, that's obvious!

Is Paul doing the right thing by waiting to have sex with her?

What do you think?

Thanks for all the comments, follows and favorites! I have really appreciated you all taking time to read this story! If I missed replying to anyone or saying thank you for following the story… I apologize!

Ya'll are amazing!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

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Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	12. Chapter 12

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWELVE

'Confusion'

Paul's alarm on his phone went off at 5:00am. He knew that Charlie would be getting up around 6:30pm, so he thought that he better slip out before he got caught.

He looked over at Bella and saw that she was lying on her stomach with her right let hiked up. She had kicked the covers off of herself while she was sleeping, so she was laying there completely in the nude. Her skin was beautiful; it was fair and soft. Paul reached out and rubbed his fingertips lightly over her back and her butt. He could feel the chills he was producing beneath the pads of his fingers.

He began placing soft kisses over her back, making his way up her neck until he reached her ear. Light moans were escaping her lips and he couldn't help smiling.

He whispered in her ear, "Wake up Vanilla Bean." He rubbed his nose over her ear and whispered again, "Bella… wake up baby."

She whispered, "No, Paul. Let's sleep a little longer."

It soothed his soul knowing that she called his name before she had even opened her eyes to see his face. She felt him there, she remembered he was by her side and she was comfortable lying next to him completely naked.

Paul said, "You can sleep longer baby, but I have to go. Charlie will be up soon baby and it wouldn't be a good thing getting caught in your bedroom. I'm going to go home and clean my house. I am going to fix you lunch at my house today."

Bella smiled and whispered, "That sounds nice Paul."

When Paul got out of bed, Bella opened her eyes to look at the view. He was walking around her room, naked and beautiful. She watched him in adoration; his muscles flexing as he walked around the room, bended down to pick his clothes up and stretched to reach for his wallet that was sitting on the window sill. Saying that she was attracted to Paul didn't come anywhere near to what she really felt for him. She was beginning to need Paul is the most desperate kind of way and she wasn't sure how much longer she could wait to make love to him… she might combust if she couldn't have him soon.

She said, "You are beautiful Paul." Paul sat down on the bed and leaned over to kiss her warm, pink lips.

He replied, "You are beautiful Bella. I have never been happier than I am right now. I want to spend every day and every night with you for the rest of our lives."

Bella smiled and said, "That sounds perfect to me Paul."

He said, "I'm going to go Vanilla Bean. I have some things to take care of this morning. I will be back to get you in a couple of hours."

Bella nodded and said, "Okay Paul. I will see you later. I love you."

Paul stopped before leaving and said, "I love you too Vanilla Bean. I will call you in thirty minutes or so, just to check in. Okay?" With a nod, Bella smiled and thanked him.

Paul was going to check in because he needed to make sure that she wasn't going to be in a lot of pain. If it got bad, he would need to come straight back to get her.

Paul used his senses to make sure that Charlie was still asleep before he opened Bella's door. He quietly padded down the hall slipping out after locking the door from the inside.

Within 15 minutes Paul had reached his house and wasn't surprised to see Jake standing in his driveway. Paul put the car in park and started to get out. He knew that this conversation wasn't going to go well and he wasn't sure how easily hiding the imprint was going to be. If they could manage to stay in human form it would be a lot easier to block his thoughts.

Paul got out and walked toward Jake. Jake immediately slammed his chest against Paul's before a word was even said between them.

Conversation in human form:

Jake: Lahote! What in the hell do you think you are doing?

Paul: What are you talking about Jake? I really have a lot to do and I don't have a lot of time right now.

Jake: I can smell Bella all over you. You were with her all night long…in her bed?

Paul: Jake, I can't talk to you about this.

Jake: You sure the hell will talk to me about this!

Paul: Yes. I was with her all night.

Jake: Why? What are you trying to pull Paul? Are you pulling your typical man whore shit with my girl?

Paul: Your girl? I'm not trying to pull anything Jake. You asked me a question and I am being honest. I have been with Bella. I was with her all night and I slept in her bed.

Paul wouldn't have said all that he had, but he was pissed that Jake felt he had some prior claim over his imprint.

Jake: Are you having sex with her, you man whore?

Paul punched Jake in the jaw for that comment. He didn't do it because Jake called him a man whore, he did it because he felt Jake was disrespecting his best friend and imprint. Jake shook his head to get his bearings back.

Paul: I'm going to say this once…loud and clear. Yes, I have women in my past Jake, but that is over; I will never go back to that life again. No, I have not had sex with Bella. She is precious and innocent and I respect her Jake and if you respected her you wouldn't ask me that. I'm not saying that I don't want to have sex with her because I do, but I haven't.

This time Jake punched Paul in the jaw.

Jake: I thought that you were going to be her 'friend' Paul. I never would have let you spend time with her, had I known your true intentions.

Paul: You wouldn't have 'let' me spend time with her. Seriously, Jake? You dictate who can spend time with your girlfriend. I am Bella's friend; I am her best friend. I will always be her best friend until one of us stops breathing…maybe longer than that.

I'm not going to lie. I have fallen in love with her Jake; I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. I know that she still loves you Jake and I respect her too much to ignore her feelings for you.

Bella needs to see you Jake. Do you think that you can get Embry or Paul to let you visit her?

Jake: I don't need to ask anyone. I want to see her and I am going.

Jake phased immediately and ran towards Forks. Jake got to the Swan house and phased back. He went up to the door and knocked.

He knocked yelling, "Bells. Are you in there?"

Bella ran down the stairs. She said, "Jake? Is it really you?"

Jake said, "It's me Bells." Bella opened the door and Jake walked in.

Paul was immediately worried about Jake being anywhere near Bella without someone there to protect her, so he phased and ran as fast as he could to Embry's house. He quickly got Embry up to speed and Embry text Sam. They were all on their way to Bella's house. Paul still hadn't let any of them know about the imprint.

Bella's heart was racing, Jake had finally come to see her and she was thrilled. When Bella looked into Jake's eyes, she saw that he had a crazed, wild look and it scared her. Instead of jumping into his arms to be swallowed by his embrace, she backed away from him and allowed him space to walk inside.

Jake: Hi Bells.

Bella: Hi Jake. I thought that you were in trouble with Billy. How did you get him to let you come to my house?

Jake: He doesn't know that I'm here Bella. I'm not supposed to see you. Paul said that you needed to see me, so here I am.

Bella: Of course I need to see you Jake. I have heard from you like twice in the last month… twice Jake. I never would have thought you would give me the silent treatment after how close we got over Thanksgiving break. I never would have guessed that Billy could keep you from me that easily.

Jake: It is way more complicated than that Bella.

Bella: Well, sort it out for me Jake. Explain why?

Jake: I can't.

Bella: Fine Jake…then leave if you don't have anything to say to me.

Jake: I'm sorry Bells.

They both stood facing one another in complete silence for a couple of minutes but still had not even come together for a hug. It seemed that Bella was no longer as drawn to Jake as she had been. She never expected to feel like this; she expected to need him desperately just as she always had.

Jake: What is going on with you and Paul?

Bella: What do you mean? Paul is my best friend and I care about him a lot Jake.

Jake: Do best friends sleep together Bella?

Bella: What are you talking about? Did Paul tell you that we slept together? (Bella was feeling hurt, she never expected Paul would betray her by talking about their private life.)

Jake: Bella… his car was at your house all night. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out!

Bella: Yes. Paul slept here last night but…

Jake: I know… I know! I asked Paul and he said that he didn't have sex with you. He said that he respected you too much.

Bella's heart could have burst into a million pieces. She was so happy that Paul was the kind of guy she thought he was.

Bella: He told you the truth. We haven't had sex.

(even though she would have if he would have been willing to take that step… Paul had some things that he needed to work out first and she respected that – Bella didn't share that piece of information Jake though.)

They stood there quietly again. You could have cut the air between them with a knife.

Jake: Do you want to have sex with him Bella?

Bella was silent.

Jake: I asked you a simple yes or no question Bella.

Bella: It's complicated Jake.

Jake threw her words back at her.

Jake: Well, sort it all out for me Bella! Explain.

Bella: I feel different when I'm with Paul. I feel like everything is right in the world when Paul and I are together. He helped me when you were ignoring me Jake, and we became best friends. I love him very much but my feelings for you are still there… you know that I love you too Jake, so much.

I told Paul that I still love you and now I have to be honest with you and tell you that I also love Paul. I have no idea what to do Jake. Please be patient. Your silence was too much for me to handle and although Paul was completely respectful and was only a friend to me, I was falling in love with him and didn't realize how much until I saw him yesterday.

Jake: I have the worst freakin' luck in the history of the world I think. I have gone through some real fucked up shit lately Bella and I am tired. I am sick and tired!

Bella: I don't understand what you are talking about Jake.

Jake: I know and the craziest piece of shit is that I can't even explain it to you. I am forbidden to, even though I desperately want to help you understand. Just please Bella, give me some time. Don't have sex with Paul. You always wanted us to be each other's first.

Bella: Stop, Jake.

Bella really didn't feel like she could make any promises to Jake right now. She wanted to be intimate with Paul… she couldn't help how she felt about him. It consumed her and when Paul came near her, the feeling was almost too much to contain. However, wanting Paul didn't make her forget all that had happened between her and Jake.

She had been completely honest with Paul about her feelings for Jake and now she had been honest with Jake about her feelings for Paul.

Jake had made her feel things that she never imagined were possible. His touch was incredible and she couldn't deny it. She had a history with Jake, they had been friends forever, she had loved Jake for pretty much their entire life. She didn't know what else to do or say.

Jake: Stop what Bella? Stop fighting for you? Never!

Bella: It was your idea for us not to make the promises you are asking me make. I won't draw any lines now because I am not certain that I wouldn't cross them Jake. All I can say is that I still love you but I am very confused. I will be honest with you though Jake. I will never lie to you, I respect you too much to do that… I can promise you that.

Jake: I don't know what else to say to you Bells. I'm not going to beg you to make promises to me, it's humiliating. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world though and I truly am sorry for making it seem as though I haven't wanted to stay in touch with you. You will just have to trust me when I say, it was not my choice.

Bella: Okay Jake.

Jake closed the space between them and placed his hands on Bella's hips. She immediately heated up just from his touch and the memories it brought to her mind. Jake bent down, rubbing his nose across her jaw line so that he could inhale her scent. He could smell strawberries and vanilla because she had thankfully just taken a shower – erasing Paul's scent from her. He also smelled the pheromones that her body was producing just from his touch, which gave him hope that she truly wasn't over him yet. He hoped it meant that he still stood a chance with her; she was clearly responding to him.

They were sharing the same air when he went in for a kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his head towards her, as he pulled her body as close as possible to his. The kiss was hot, passionate, loving and extremely desperate all at the same time. He pulled away to see a single tear fall down her cheek, he kissed it away and told her good-bye. He knew that he would see her again soon, because he was going to somehow convince Sam and Embry that he could handle being at the bonfire.

Paul was opening the door as Jake was walking out. He looked either livid or worried, Jake wasn't sure which… possibly both. Paul pushed Jake aside on his way in; Jake resisted his urge to beat the shit out of Paul because he knew that it would upset Bella. Instead, he decided to leave and deal with Paul later.

Sam and Embry had left when they realized that Jake had remained calm while he was with Bella; even though it was an extremely tense conversation. They were proud of him for that, but he would be punished for disobeying their order to stay away from her.

When Paul came inside he walked up to Bella. He placed his hands at the base of her neck, rubbing his thumbs over her cheeks as he touched his forehead to hers. He inhaled her scent; he could smell her shower gel, which he loved but he also smelled Jake's scent all over her face. Unfortunately, his wolf senses wouldn't allow him to miss the pheromones in the air. Paul thankfully found a way to control this knowledge, which was difficult because he knew full well that he hadn't had time to cause her to produce them. Paul's blood felt like it was boiling at 180 degrees but he refused to let her witness how he felt on the inside. Most of the time Paul liked the senses of the wolf, but in that moment he hated his incredible sense of smell; however that was his reality and there was nothing he could do about it.

Paul asked, "Are you okay Vanilla Bean?"

Bella placed her forehead on Paul's chest and in a muffled voice said, "I guess so."

Paul asked, "Did Jake do something to upset you?"

Bella shook her head and said, "No, not really. I just hate feeling the way that I do."

With his heart beating rapidly within his chest he asked, "What do you mean Vanilla Bean?"

Bella looked up at Paul and he looked down at her. She answered, "I am so confused Paul. I don't understand how I could feel love for two men… I am screwed up Paul… something is wrong with me. I am only going to hurt you both until I figure all of this out."

Paul rubbed Bella's right cheek with the back of his fingers and began to speak in a soothing voice to her.

He said, "I already told you this Vanilla Bean and I will tell you as many times as I need to. I don't want you to worry about my feelings or Jake's. We are grown men and we can handle this. You just take time to sort out your feelings. I will always be here for you Bella, no matter what. Our friendship will always stay intact… I promise."

Bella replied, "I don't deserve you Paul. You are the sweetest man that I know and I am incredibly lucky to have you in my life."

Paul smiled and said, "Yes you are, and don't you forget it! How do you feel? Does your stomach hurt today?"

Bella answered curiously, "Well, it started hurting a little after you left this morning and by the time I got out of the shower it was hurting pretty bad. It eased off completely right before you walked in; now it doesn't hurt at all. Now I am certain that it is nerves, but when I am with you I am never nervous… unless it's a good nervous."

Bella grinned bashfully at Paul as she admitted how Paul made her nervous. He knew exactly what she meant.

He reached around and grabbed her butt lifting her to his waist. When she wrapped her legs around Paul's waist, she could feel how hard he had become just talking to her and it drove her crazy. She immediately wanted him so badly she could barely stand herself. The pheromones in the air increased immeasurably and Paul's wolf was dying to be let loose.

Conversation between man and wolf:

PAUL'S WOLF

'What in the hell are you thinking Paul? She is ours… she is our freaking imprint for God's sake! Don't be stupid! Did you smell her delicious scent in the air when you walked in her house today? She was hot for another man; another wolf… you allowed her to have the opportunity to let another man touch her and cause her to release the most incredible scent ever. That is a scent that should only be coming from her body for us. I need her… I need her now! I want to claim her and mark her Paul; if you don't willingly let me have what I want soon, I will make it impossible for you to have any say in the matter at all. I will take control of my mate and give her what I know she wants. She has asked you for it, begged you for it; she has even teased you mercilessly, hoping you would give in and still you hold back. You refuse to let the imprinting take over. Why? I'm getting impatient with you Paul… I will not stand for much more of this bullshit! She is mine!'

PAUL THE MAN

'You stay the fuck in line wolf! I swear, I know what is best for her… not you! You make decisions from instinct; I have much more to consider than that. Don't you think I want her? Don't you think I need her? Shit, I haven't had sex in over a month… do you have any idea what that has been like for me? I have always had as much sex as I desired and now I have imprinted and there is no part of me that would ever be with another woman, yet I can't be with Bella yet either. Things have to be right; she has to figure things out with Jake. I won't make her decisions for her wolf and you will hold back just a little while longer. You and I are one in the same; just trust that I know what I am doing. It won't be long… I swear we will both get what we want soon. I know I'm not making it easy on you. I have to see her naked, feel her bare skin, smell her sweet, musky womanly scent. I want to taste her so badly that I think I will die; I hurt and throb with need every single damn minute we are together. Please, back off… this is torture for me without you adding to it!'

For the time being the wolf laid down, however Paul knew that his obedience would be short lived. Still, he was thankful for the time.

Bella leaned down and nibbled on Paul's ear exhaling hot air as she did. She reached down the collar of his shirt and felt the chill bumps she had caused on his neck and back. She smiled into his neck and he could feel her.

Paul said, "I can feel you smiling about how I react to your touch Vanilla Bean. Believe it or not, I can smell your arousal… I know when you are turned on and it is pretty much the entire time we are together."

"You can not! Please tell me you are joking Paul… how incredibly embarrassing!" Bella exclaimed.

Paul explained honestly, "No baby, I'm not joking. I wish that I could say that I'm sorry, but I can't because I love your scent. You smell so sweet and it makes me want you all the time. Someday I am going to make you feel things that you have never felt before Bella. I promise you, it will be worth the wait for both of us. Please Bella… I want you to be glad that I can smell your arousal. Please, don't be embarrassed. I love knowing when and how much you are reacting to me."

Bella replied, "Okay, Paul. I won't be embarrassed about it, or I will try not to be at least. I can't deny how you make me feel or how much I want you Paul.

I want you to know that I told Jake that I love him, but I also told him that I love you very much… more than just as a friend. Jake and I kissed Paul… it was a real kiss and I reacted to it. I need you to know that but I also need you to know that the second our lips parted, I regretted it.

I know that I have told you that I still love Jake but Paul I really need to be with you… intimately. I need it like I need air to breathe. I used to say that I wanted Jake to be my first, but I don't anymore. I want you to be my first and I have never been more certain of anything.

Jake asked me to promise him that we wouldn't have sex. He asked me to promise that I would wait, but I couldn't promise him that. I just promised that I wouldn't lie to him about my feelings, but that was the only promise I could make to him.

I need you Paul. Don't make me beg you. I don't want you to feel bad but you have been with a lot of women and none of them had to beg you Paul for it, you were more than willing to give them what they wanted. Why am I any different… don't you desire me too, like you did them?

Bella was Paul's best friend… she pretty much knew everything there was to know about his past, maybe not every single gory detail but more than anyone would normally admit to another person. He didn't regret telling her, but now that she had these feelings for him, she was bound to want more details.

Paul set her to her feet and she immediately felt rejected and he could see it on her face. He touched her cheek and tried to explain himself.

Paul began to try to make her understand. "You are nothing like those girls Bella… absolutely nothing like them honey. You know that I have been with other women and you are right, they didn't have to beg for me to have sex with them but there is a huge difference."

Bella waited with tears threatening to fall down her cheeks.

Paul continued, "I didn't love them. Hell, I didn't even like some of them and I didn't really know any of them. It isn't something that I am proud of. I hate myself for doing it and I hate that I did it so openly… everyone knows. I bragged about it, I was proud of it and I hate that. I hate it for myself but more than that, I hate it for you. It was a terrible lifestyle!

Anyway, my point is that taking this step with you is extremely important to me, something I don't want to take lightly; it is almost like it's my first time too because it will be my first time making love to anyone. I'm not sure if I will be able to wait or not either, but I really wish that when we make love for the first time, there wouldn't be any questions in our minds about who you are going to end up with. I can't share you like that Vanilla Bean; I don't think that I could handle that. Give me a little time to think this through; I have to make good decisions for us both. Okay?"

Bella replied, "Okay Paul. I'm sorry about Jake… I'm sorry for hurting you."

Paul said, "I know Vanilla Bean. This is an unfortunate situation to say the least, but we will get through this one way or another. I have faith in us Bella… try to have faith in us too, okay?"

Bella smiled and replied, "Okay Paul… I'll try. Soooo… what's for lunch? I know you haven't had time to clean your house on this eventful morning."

Paul said, "No. I haven't had time but I don't want to leave you alone again right now, so I am just going to have to take a chance that you won't judge me too harshly. I might have to do some straightening up while you are at my house."

Bella smiled and said, "I won't judge… I promise. I will even help you clean; I actually find cleaning relaxing."

"I don't find it relaxing one little bit." Paul admitted and then said, "Are you ready?"

Bella shook her head. "Look at me… are you blind?"

Paul kissed Bella on the nose. "You look absolutely beautiful to me right now and I am pretty sure that most everyone would agree with me."

Bella replied, "Just give me twenty. Okay?"

Paul nodded. "Sure honey. I am going to make myself a glass of tea while I wait… is that okay?"

Bella touched Paul's forearm and let her hand slide up his muscular arm. "Make yourself at home… I'll try to be quick."

Bella kissed Paul's cheek and turned to run upstairs.

Paul made himself a glass of tea and thought about turning on the TV, but he decided against it. He wanted to sit there in the quiet to mull over everything that he and Bella had discussed.

PAULS POV

I hate that Bella has to even think about my past. I never want her to compare herself to those scanky women from my past. They don't even deserve to walk in her shadow. If I could erase them from my history, I would be more than willing to do so.

I meant what I said. I am a virgin when it comes to making love. I have never, ever made love to a woman. As a matter of fact, I had never fallen in love until I met Bella. I believe that it was love at first site when I caught her in the 5th grade and then my wolf just confirmed it at the bonfire last month. All those years ago, at such a young age I obviously didn't understand my feelings for her, but now I do.

I told Bella the truth. I seriously don't know that I can wait to make love to her. We have spent a month falling in love and emotionally bonding with one another. Now I desperately need to show her another type of love that I have for her; I want and need to please her sexually more than anything… I need it like I need air to breathe.

I don't want to selfishly rush into this because of the fear I am experiencing, but I sure as hell don't want Jake beating me to it… that's for damn sure. Me, the man and my wolf are too selfish to allow that to happen. That won't be the sole reason I give into the pull though; I just love her plain and simple. Still, I will fight the pull for now and pray to God that she chooses me first.

I might have to settle for the fact that she chose to love me on her own… she has already done that. Really, that should probably be the most important thing; then I could let the wolf take over the rest and bring her so incredibly close to me that she would never even consider looking at another man.

She wants me to be her first; she has already admitted that. She also denied Jake when she wouldn't promise not to have sex with me. I was so glad to hear that, even though I am the one who has been holding back.

Twenty minutes passed by quickly while Paul was in deep thought. Bella came down looking absolutely beautiful when she came down. She was wearing a short black flowing skirt and a short red long sleeve sweater…the sweater was woven and you could see a black camisole underneath. She looked incredibly sexy and Paul knew that she had dressed for him. They were only going to Paul's house for lunch, but she had straightened her hair and even put on a little makeup.

She said, "You ready?"

Paul nodded and told her how beautiful she looked. He immediately received a smile from her that went from ear to ear. He picked her up, grabbing her black flats that were near the door before he carried her out to the car. He knew that she loved it when he carried her and he loved putting his hands on her. He needed the contact, that was what got him through each day of uncertainty.

What do you think will happen… any ideas?

Do you think that Bella, as his imprint, will be able to convince him to give in before she figures things out with Jake?

What about Paul's wolf… can he be controlled?

''Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	13. Chapter 13

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

'AN UNFORGETTABLE AFTERNOON'

When Paul and Bella got outside he was immediately thankful that Sam and Embry took care of the fact that he didn't have his car at Bella's; he had completely forgotten that he ran all the way to Bella's in a mad dash, leaving himself without a car. Sam and Embry thoughtfully brought it and dropped it off at Bella's, which saved him from having to make up some lame excuse as to how he managed to get to her house without his car.

Every time he had to make up some little white lie to hide their pack secrets, whether it was something minor like his car not being there or something more serious like coming up with a believable reason why Jake wasn't staying in contact with her, it tore a little piece of his heart from him.

She was his imprint and wolves are always honest with them; if not, they become burdened with guilt and their wolf punishes them with either emotional or physical pain – sometimes both. The only reason that he had been able to deal with it was because he had been holding the imprint back and hadn't completely given into the wolf's needs concerning Bella. He wasn't sure how much l0nger he would be able to hold on.

Paul knew that Sam and Embry were going to question him soon about his relationship with Bella but he didn't care anymore. Paul decided that he would go ahead and tell them that he had imprinted on Bella… they were going to find out soon enough anyway, Embry already suspected it. He knew that if he wasn't honest about that part they would both think that he was up to his old antics… the games that he used to play with women.

Paul would never in a million years do that to Bella. Paul had many regrets concerning his past, even though those women were perfectly fine keeping everything superficial; they weren't looking for a relationship with him or anyone else. His regret wasn't about though, it was about his lack of self control, his disregard for his reputation, character and his willingness to give himself away repeatedly… never considering the fact that it might hurt his future wife and/or imprint. All he cared about was filling his own desires and masking the pain caused by his shitty childhood. The only positive was that he had never been in love before Bella and he wasn't in a relationship when he imprinted; that would have been difficult for everyone involved.

Within fifteen minutes Paul and Bella reached his house. He parked his car and looked over at her. She was slipping her shoes on and had a smile on her face.

He asked, "What?"

She said, "Nothing. I am just so excited to see where you live."

He came around to open the car door for her so that she could get out. When she looked at his house she smiled and said, "Paul, this is really nice!"

He smiled and thanked her. "It's home; thanks to my grandfather."

Paul took Bella's hand and they walked up the sidewalk that lead to his front door and he unlocked it. He said, "Now remember, you promised not to judge."

She laughed and said, "I know Paul. I won't… I promise!"

He let her walk in first and as she did he reached around her to turn on the lights; his arm rubbed against hers and just that small amount of physical contact added to his sexual frustration. He noticed it affected her as well; there was no denying the effects the imprint was already having on her.

Bella looked around the room and was immediately impressed. Paul had great taste! It was very masculine, definitely a man's house but it was tastefully decorated. It looked perfect for Paul. It was a little messy but it was mostly because there were clothes laying around and some dirty dishes in the sink. Paul had acted like it was going to be some sort of pig sty.

When she first walked in she realized that it had an open floor plan. To her right there was an office area, it sort of looked like a roomy breakfast nook, only it was set up as an office. Paul had a huge desk and shelves that wrapped around one corner of the room. His laptop was there and she imagined that he spent a lot of time there taking online classes and doing homework.

Straight ahead of them there was a very modern kitchen with stainless steel appliances and black counter tops; an island separated the kitchen from the entry way and an extended countertop separated it from the living area. On the left was the living area, complete with a stereo system and 70 inch flat screen TV; it even had a fireplace. It had a leather couch, love seat and chaise lounge in the room; the décor was black and grey with a splash of red for added color. On the wall above his couch there was a large picture of a pack of wolves; it was so realistic and beautiful. The painting was so clear that it looked like you could actually walk right into it and stand in front of those wolves.

Bella said, "Paul, that picture is magnificent."

He smiled and thanked her. He began to explain. "I went to an art show where dozens of artist's work was being displayed. I fell in love with this painting the moment I laid eyes on it; the artist was unknown but judging from the specific details in the painting it seemed obvious to me that it was an artist who had insight into the Quileute Legends concerning wolves. Anyway, they were having a silent auction on a couple of the paintings, including this one and I made sure to place my bid high enough to ensure that I would be leaving with it."

Paul admitted that when he told his grandfather how much he paid for the painting, he was pretty pissed off but when his grandfather came by to look at it, he loved it and understood why he had to have it. Paul told his grandfather that 75% of the money that was raised at that art show that night went toward a college scholarship for unwanted children; so those who worked hard would have a chance to receive a college education. Paul explained that in a lot of those cases smart kids don't go to college, even after earning full or partial scholarships because they don't have enough money for housing, books, clothes, food or gas. Even if your college is paid for, you still have to have some supplemental money, even if you have a part time job. They need additional help that some people don't even think about.

Paul added, "When I told my grandfather about that, he understood completely why I would want to support a cause like that and he was happy to overlook the amount of money that I gave that night. I was so relieved, you have no idea! You see, I know for a fact that I would be in the same boat if I didn't have my grandfather."

Paul changed the subject and told Bella that the picture she painted for him was on his night stand in his bedroom; he said that it was his favorite. She blushed and thought that he was sweet for saying that.

Bella continued to look around Paul's place. She noticed that right passed the kitchen there was a set of open stairs that lead up to the top floor. The room up there didn't have a wall, only iron bars.

She asked, "What's up there Paul?"

He smiled and said, "That's my bedroom and bathroom."

"Oh! Can I see?" She asked excitedly.

He replied, "Soon Vanilla bean. It's really a mess up there. Let me straighten it up some and then I will start lunch. I need to grab the sheets off my bed; I'm going to wash them with a load of towels."

She smiled and said, "I'll help!"

He laughed and said, "You really like to clean house?"

She smiled and said, "Yes, I know. It's crazy!"

He ran upstairs and pulled his sheets off from his bed and gathered the towels from his bathroom and threw them all over the railing and onto the kitchen floor.

He said, "The laundry room is passed the stair case on the left. Everything you will need is in the closet in there."

Bella smiled and said, "Okay."

Paul busied himself cleaning his bedroom and bathroom, before he came back downstairs. When he got back downstairs, Bella was just finishing up the dishes that were in the sink. She had already put all of the stuff lying around on the counter away and everything in the living room had been dusted and vacuumed. He thought she was amazing. The two of them had cleaned his entire house in less than 45 minutes.

She finished drying the last dish when Paul walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and bent down to whisper in her ear. "Thanks Vanilla Bean. I love that you are here."

Bella turned around in his arms and looked up into his face. She laid a palm on his cheek and said, "I'm exactly where I want to be Paul. So…what's for lunch Paul?"

He smiled and said, "Chicken salad sandwiches and pasta salad."

She asked, "You cook?"

He answered, "Yes, actually. I love to cook! I don't do it very often, usually only when my grandfather comes over. Sometimes I cook just for myself, but not often."

Bella said, "I never would have guessed you liked to cook Paul. What is your favorite thing to cook?"

He thought for a minute and said, "Grilled steak w/ shrimp scampi and pasta. I make an incredible parmesan topping w/ fresh garlic. I like to serve it with Caesar salad."

Bella smiled and said, "That sounds amazing… you are going to make that for me sometime, right?"

He whispered in her ear. "Yes Vanilla Bean. I will feed you whatever you want, anytime you want."

She smiled and hugged him without saying another word.

He added, "Don't let the cooking fool you though; I am not good at anything else that is known to be a, 'woman's job'. I suck at washing clothes; I have bleach stains on most of my towels and a couple of my shirts. You know that I hate cleaning house and I kill plants; it's awful!"

Bella exclaimed, "Did you say, 'Woman's job'? I know you didn't just say that!"

Paul made a mock expression, like he was scared of Bella and lifted his hands in the air like he was surrendering. "Wait! I didn't say that I thought they were women's jobs; but some people, me excluded of course, look at those jobs like that. Don't hit me… I suck at that stuff, but I do it anyway, hence the bleach stains on my towels.'

Bella laughed. He was too damn cute to be mad at; she was just putting on to be dramatic anyway.

Paul had already cooked the chicken and prepared the pasta salad. All he had left to do was mix everything up. Bella set the table and they sat down to eat. Everything tasted absolutely perfect and Bella told him so. Paul told her lots of stories and made her laugh until she thought she would wet her pants. When they were finished Bella helped Paul by loading the dish washer while he put all the food away.

Bella excused herself to use the bathroom for a minute and while she was gone Paul went around to all of his windows and closed all of the blinds. He had a feeling that he and Bella were being watched and he figured that it was Jake trying to keep an eye on them. Paul liked his privacy and he refused to let Jake or any of the other guys intrude on him while he was spending time with his imprint.

When Bella came back out she said, "Why don't we listen to some music?"

Paul smiled and said, "Sounds good!".

He wanted to learn everything there was to know about Bella and he thought of something that they had never discussed during any of their long telephone conversations over the last month. He asked, "What type of music do you like to listen to Bella?"

She said, "I like a lot of different genres I guess, but I tend to listen to mostly Pop, R&B and some Rap. I also like some southern rock and even some alternative rock occasionally."

Paul said, "It sounds like we have the same taste in music. Who are some of your favorite artists?"

She answered, "Oh my gosh, there are so many to choose from. Well, I will just rattle some off but there are so many that I love…these aren't necessarily my favorites in order and I'm sure that I am forgetting some of my favorites by doing this."

Paul said, "It's okay, I understand. I won't tell any of them what you say."

She smiled and said, "Ha Ha…very funny!"

She thought for a minute and said, "I really like Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake, John Mayor, Mariah Carey, Jason Durilo, Colbi Calet, Drake, Flo Rida and Olly Murs."

Bella paused in thought before adding, "It's kind of embarrassing because some people think that I am totally lame but I also love One Direction, Austin Mahone, R5 and 5SOS too."

Paul laughed and said, "It's not lame honey… it's adorable! Besides, even the people who think boy bands are lame can't deny the fact that they are extremely talented; especially One Direction. Some of the songs on their latest album actually have an edge to them. I'm sure those accents make the girls love them even more, huh?" Paul laughed briefly at his own comment, causing Bella to laugh too.

She replied, "Yes. I would say that the accents definitely add to their appeal."

Paul walked into the living room and turned on some music. The first song that he played was a remix of Mariah Carey's 'Beautiful'. Paul came over to where Bella was standing and took her hand. He pulled her into the living room, positioning her so that her back was against his chest. Paul pushed her arms up over her head as they swayed. He slowly slipped his hands down the backs of her arms, ever so lightly, sending chills through her entire body.

Paul pulled his shirt off and threw it on the chaise. Bella could feel the heat radiating off from his hot body through her sweater. He whispered, "Let me take your sweater off; I need to feel your skin beneath my fingertips." Bella couldn't say anything in that moment; she could only nod in agreement. With Bella's consent Paul pulled her sweater over her head and tossed it onto the chaise with his. She stood before him wearing nothing but her black camisole and skirt. Her back was still against Paul's chest and her arms remained above her head where he placed them only moments before.

Paul ran his fingertips over her skin, beginning at her tiny wrists and ending up underneath her arms; he hesitated when he reached her armpits and he felt his wolf wake up. He inhaled her scent and it drove him crazy… her body smelled amazing and her arousal was intoxicating. Paul's wolf let a low growl escape his lips; luckily Bella didn't seem to notice it; Paul wasn't ready to explain anything to her just yet.

Bella couldn't help herself; she needed to feel more of his hands on her bare skin so she reached and pulled her camisole completely off; leaving only her push up bra covering her breasts.

Paul was pleased and reacted to her forwardness. He placed his large hands low on Bella's hips, over the top of her skirt and pulled her butt against his hardness. Her entire body felt like it was on fire and her heart began to race uncontrollably. Paul made Bella feel things that she had never felt with anyone else, not even with Jake.

The song paying was sensuous and Paul's movements made her ache in places that desperately needed to be touched by only him. Paul looked over Bella's shoulder watching her breasts heave up and down with each labored breath she took. He loved the way he could make her feel with only a touch and he was amazed at how she made his body react just looking at her. There was no other women in the world who had ever caused him to react the way she did.

Paul knew that he could give in completely to the imprint at any moment and Bella would be his completely for the rest of their lives but he was determined to hold on; he was determined to win her mind, body, heart and soul on his own. He needed to be loved by her but he also needed her to choose him and only him, without being influenced by the wolf.

No one in his life had ever loved him and no one in his life had ever chosen to be his completely because of who he was on the inside. Bella had come to know the true Paul and she loved him in spite of himself and he knew that. Now he just needed her to choose to be with him over anyone else in the world. He needed her to commit to him on her own free will. It was more important to him than anything else in the world.

Paul's large hands were still low on Bella's hips and he kept her ass pulled tight against his crotch; he was grinding himself into her and he was getting the response he was looking for. He heard her moan and knew that she was reacting to how she felt in their current position. When Paul heard Bella's moan he matched it with another low growl which escaped involuntarily from deep within his chest. He knew that it was barely audible to her but it was unmistakable to him.

He lifted her skirt up around her waist so that she could feel his hardness even better; his name immediately escaped her lips.

She breathed his name heavily. "Paul… ugh! This is incredibly difficult… I need you so badly. You feel so good, Paul! Please…"

Paul asked her a question that he already knew the answer to. He just had to torture himself a little more. "What Vanilla Bean? What feels so good?"

She groaned, "Ughhhh Paul. You are so incredibly hard against my ass… it is killing me. When you finally give in to me Paul, I am going to explode around you immediately. The foreplay, oh dear Lord Paul, the foreplay alonr is going to kill me. I have never felt this way before. You really seem to know exactly what you're doing with no effort whatsoever."

Paul tensed due to the implication behind Bella's words concerning him being experienced.

He replied, "Your body just calls to me Bella and it guides me; that has never happened to me before. My body reads your needs and seems to know how to meet them naturally… that's all Vanilla Bean."

Paul didn't say anything to Bella because he didn't want to embarrass her but he did notice that when they were in the heat of the moment, she spoke very openly to him and didn't seem to care whether she watched her words or not. She described exactly how she felt and what she wanted; you would have never known how inexperienced she really was listening to her. He hoped it was because she felt as comfortable with him as he did with her. He loved hearing her talk to him so openly. It turned him on when she vocalized her sexual needs to him; it brought him to a full erection and the throbbing became almost unbearable… it was a wonderful, torturous pain. He hoped that she would become exceedingly vocal as she became more comfortable with him sexually.

In that moment Bella turned around so that she could look up into Paul's eyes again.

He looked down at her and said, "You are it for me Vanilla Bean... I mean that!"

Bella wanted desperately to say it back to him in that moment but she held on to her words for now, because she still needed to figure out her feelings for Jake. Paul already knew that and he, as her best friend, wanted her to figure it all out and find closure with Jake. She wanted to make her decisions quickly because she felt like she was in limbo. She worried that her uncertainty came across as slutty but really she was just confused… she wondered if her heart was too big or if it was just completely defective.

Bella said, "I love you so much Paul. You know that, right?"

Paul nodded but he also knew that she had dodged saying his words back to him. He just hoped that he could hold out long enough for her to figure it all out. It was getting harder each time he touched her, but he couldn't and he wouldn't stop himself from experiencing that kind of closeness.

She reached between them and unfastened her bra and let it fall behind her. Paul felt her firm, perky breasts pressed against his muscular chest. He pulled back slightly hoping to feel her pert, hard nipples against his hot skin. He smiled when his silent wish was granted.

Bella reached down and unbuttoned Paul's jeans and slowly unzipped them. Paul tensed a little, terrified that he would lose control. She dropped Paul's pants to the floor and he stepped out of them.

Paul pulled her to him again and she reached down the back of his boxers and grabbed his rock hard ass. She couldn't help herself from digging her nails in as he danced with her to 'One', by Ed Sheeran. He wasn't sure if she was listening to any of the words to the song but to him it was like a plea to her and a promise from him.

He tried to focus on her and the way she felt in his arms rather than thinking so hard about the patience he was going to have to find while she was figuring everything out for herself. He knew that he needed to embrace times like these to get himself through everything that was to come.

About that time the dryer buzzed so he looked down at her and said, "The sheets." He picked her up in a cradle and carried her with ease up the stairs and into his room. He laughed as he threw her on his bed and ran back downstairs to get the sheets out of the dryer.

"Be right back Vanilla Bean… don't go anywhere." When he carried the sheets back up to his room, he was pleased to find that Bella was still bare breasted and beautiful, ready to help him make his bed.

When they finished he said, "How about a nap?"

She smiled and said, "That sounds amazing!"

He said, "I would love to take a quick shower because after spending the night with you and then coming straight back to your house this morning - after I had just left, I never got to take one. Do you mind? She shook her had no. He grabbed one of the oversized warm fluffy towels that he had brought up with the sheets and headed for his bathroom.

He kissed her cheek and said, "Be right back!" He didn't bother closing the door behind himself, he had nothing whatsoever that he ever wanted to hide from Bella. He had never been more comfortable with anyone in all of his life.

When he got in the bathroom, he took his clothes off and reached in to turn the shower on so that the water would be the perfect temperature when he got in. He decided not to make it cold, he loved how hot he was for Bella and he wasn't in a hurry to make the feeling dissipate quite yet.

As Bella began folding Paul's other large fluffy towels, she watched him while he stood naked in the bathroom. He was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful from head to toe, pure perfection. He still had what she assumed to be a full erection and once again she found herself concerned about him ever fitting inside her; she was careful not to let herself hyperventilate as she had been known to do in the past when she was nervous or scared about something. She hated that about herself, she felt it made her fears and insecurities obvious to anyone who witnessed it. It was very embarrassing to her because she felt it made her look weak.

She only had Jake to compare Paul to and even though she knew from what she had read, Jake was much larger than the average male, Paul was even larger than that.

'How in the world?' She thought, but she refused to let her mind go there again; she decided to trust that Paul would know what he was doing when the time came.

Paul had gotten into the shower by the time she mindlessly finished folding a tall stack of towels. She took off all of her clothes and started to get beneath the sheets, but she heard Paul in the bathroom. He sounded like he was climaxing and she couldn't help herself, she had to go to him.

He had generously lathered his hands with shower gel and grabbed hold of his large member with both hands; he began jacking himself as hard and as fast as he possibly could… he had needs and he had never felt so deprived in all of his life. He knew that it was because he had made that choice but it didn't make the sexual deficiency any easier.

Paul could hear Bella coming into the bathroom but he didn't stop, he was perfectly fine letting her watch if that was what she wanted to do. He wanted her to watch him masturbate... he loved sharing every aspect of himself with her and couldn't wait until there was absolutely nothing between them sexually or otherwise.

He leaned his head backwards, with his eyes squeezed as tight as possible until he almost reached the top of his climax; she stepped into the shower behind him and grabbed his ass. She grabbed his hips and pulled him against her body, reaching around to massage his sack as he released his hot semen all over the shower tile. His orgasm seemed to last forever and when he was finished he turned to face her; without saying a word he kissed her more passionately than he ever had before. It was a desperate kiss, a silent plea for her to choose to be with him, so they could be exactly like that for the rest of their lives.

She said, "I love you Paul… more than I have ever loved another person."

Paul wondered why knowing that couldn't be enough but he knew that it wasn't. She still loved Jake and until she found a way to end that relationship, it would hover over them like a dark cloud.

Paul smiled down at her and said, "I love you too Vanilla Bean and I plan to spend the rest of my life showing you how much. By the way, that was the best orgasm I have ever had! I can't imagine how intense it will be the first time we make love; being inside you when I orgasm will be more overwhelming than anything I have ever experienced. He was already starting to get another erection just talking about it. "I can help you have one now if you want; I would be more than happy to you know."

She turned the most beautiful shade of pink that Paul had ever seen and said, "Not right now. Let me wash your back and your hair for you; then you can do mine. They did that for one another and then Paul got out, giving Bella a few minutes to herself. He knew that she needed to have her own release and she obviously wanted privacy while she did it. Paul could hear Bella's climax and release, even though he had walked into the bedroom and pulled the door almost closed; it was obvious that she didn't make any attempt to hide it and he was glad she hadn't.

When he heard the shower turn off he walked back in to wrap her in a towel and he carried her to his bed. He dried her body and squeezed most of the water from her hair before he combed it out for her. She had never had anyone take care of her in that way and it warmed her soul. When he was finished he kissed her on the cheek, tracing her skin down her neck with his nose, inhaling everything that was Bella. With chills all over her body she slid between the sheets and he slipped in behind her so that he could spoon with her. He laid his arm over her waist and placed his hand over her soft, bare mound. She smiled knowing how much Paul loved that and within five minutes they were both asleep.

Paul's cell alarm went off at 4 o'clock to let him know that Charlie would be getting off from work in about an hour and a half. He had set the alarm as low as he could so that it wouldn't startle Bella from a sound sleep, so she still had not moved. She was extremely warm in Paul's embrace and hadn't moved a muscle in nearly three hours. Paul was afraid that she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

He began kissing along her neck and back to wake her up and she began to lightly moan, slowly waking up as he did. When she opened her eyes, she began to realize where she was, who she was lying next to. She also remembered that she was completely naked and she admitted to herself that she loved it. Realizing that she was laying next to Paul naked didn't embarrass her in the least, she seemed to be completely comfortable. She confessed that she had thought that the entire afternoon had been an amazing dream, but she was glad to realize that it was a day they had actually shared together.

She said, "Hi Paul. I'm so glad that I am here and I am with you."

Paul smiled and said, "Me too, Vanilla Bean. It has been an amazing day and I have never slept so well in my entire life. I was completely relaxed and content with you laying in my bed, naked and by my side. I only woke you up because I know that Charlie will be leaving the station in about an hour and a half. I thought that you might want some time to get woken up before you see him and I didn't know if you had plans tonight."

Bella looked immediately concerned because his words implied that he wouldn't be with her. She didn't want to be separated from him. Paul knew that he wouldn't be able to stay away from Bella for long periods of time because she would begin to feel physical pain due to their separation and that was unacceptable to him. He was still managing to hold half the imprinting power back but she would still have some effects and he couldn't change that; he could only manage it.

Paul was allowing the wolf to have as much control as he did, in hopes that the wolf would be more patient and not rush things with her. To the wolf it may not seem like a power struggle, to him it might feel more like a temporary compromise between man and wolf.

With concern all over her face she asked, "Aren't you going to be with me tonight Paul? I haven't seen you in a month. I figured we would stay in this evening, either here or at my house. Do you have other plans… with someone else? I mean, I'm sure you have a life outside of me but I was hoping that…"

Paul stopped her from letting herself get entirely worked up over nothing. He said, "Shhhh Vanilla Bean. I want to be with you all the time, you have no idea; but I don't want Charlie to feel like he can't spend a minute with his daughter without me hanging around. You just got home and he missed you terribly too. I will be over soon, I promise Vanilla Bean. I need to go see Sam and Embry for a little while. They are my friends and we are just going to catch up."

Bella understood and said, "Okay, but don't be too long."

Paul smiled and said, "I won't, I promise. Just spend some time with your dad and I will be over before you even have time to miss me."

She replied, "I highly doubt that Paul!"

Paul and Bella took a few minutes to enjoy having their skin so close, with absolutely no barriers between them. After about fifteen minutes of rubbing each other lovingly they got up. Paul got dressed, brushed his hair and teeth. Bella borrowed some hair gel, a brush and a hair dryer so that she could at least tame her hair down a little. She had a toothbrush in her purse that she had carried with her on her flight, so she brushed her teeth also.

She dressed in the few articles of clothing that she had in Paul's room but then went downstairs to locate the clothes he had removed from her body while they were dancing. She would never forget this afternoon as long as she lived.

Paul fixed her a glass of ice tea before they laid on the chaise together. They wanted to spend an hour together talking about things going on in their life. They began to talk about Paul's online classes, Bella finishing her senior year at Forks and the party/ bonfire at Embry and Angela's house which was scheduled for the next night.

Paul mentioned that he thought there might be a possibility that Jake might be given permission to go to the party after all. Paul knew that she assumed it would be Billy giving Jake permission but he didn't elaborate. Paul noticed that Bella's heart rate picked up considerably when he mentioned the possibility of Jake coming, so he instinctively began to rub up and down her arm to relax her.

As she calmed back down he wondered whether her reaction was due to her excitement about seeing Jake or if it was anxiety she was experiencing. Paul knew that as far as he was concerned, he was consumed with anxiety and fear; the kind of fear that comes from uncertainty which leads to high anxiety.

Paul knew that he was going to have to endure a lot and he knew that his wolf was going to be busting his balls for it. Paul could sense that Bella was finally going to say something.

"Paul?" She asked.

He sucked in a deep, cleansing breath and held it for about thirty seconds before releasing it quietly. He was preparing himself because he was certain that she was going to share things that concerned their future and it scared the hell out of him.

He replied, "Yes, Vanilla Bean?"

She began to share her innermost thoughts with her best friend and the man that she loved like no other. "I don't know that I am ready to deal with my feelings for Jake, even though I realize that I don't have a choice… they have to be dealt with as soon as possible."

Bella continued, "While I was in Jacksonville, I thought that I wanted to be with Jake, even though I had unspoken feelings for you Paul. I was falling for you but didn't understand how that was even possible because we weren't even spending time together in person. When went back to Jacksonville after my Thanksgiving break, I really didn't even know you. I just felt somehow connected to you for some reason." Paul stayed quiet. "I know that I love you more than anyone could possibly love another person Paul, but my feelings for Jake didn't just disappear like you'd think they would."

Bella paused in thought before continuing, "I think that it has a lot to do with our history. We were best friends from the time we were born, you know." Paul just nodded. "I always thought that Jake and I would grow up and he would be the first boy to hold my hand, first to kiss me, first to share the word 'love' with me, first to touch me and the first to make love to me; I even thought that I would marry him one day and have his children. Then you came into my life Paul and all of that changed; everything I thought I was certain of became completely unclear to me because my love for you is so true and so real. Now, I want to share my most important firsts with you Paul and my heart and soul tells me that I want to share my lasts with you as well. It's just…"

She paused. "It's just that my mind and even my body sometimes tells me that I still need Jake. I am so sorry Paul, I know that this has got to hurt you because if the tables were reversed and it was you who were feeling this way about someone from your past, it would more than break my heart… it would kill me Paul. However, I also know that it would be more painful if you kept it from me; I couldn't bear the fact that you kept something so important from me."

"My feelings for Jake have everything to do with making years and years of plans for our future together and having that mind set all of my life. Then to really confuse things, Jake and I became intimate a month ago, when I came back to Forks to visit my dad for Thanksgiving. You know that we didn't actually have sex but we came extremely close."

Paul already knew the gory details… he had seen them in Jake's memories and wanted to rip his throat out. Bella had also confided everything into him during one of their late night phone conversations last month; he knew it all.

"Anyway, becoming intimate with Jake seemed to somehow confirm that all of the feelings that I had experienced my entire life actually were real and meant to be. When Jake and I were together Paul, it did feel right; I've told you that before." Bella paused to take a breath.

"I have never, in all of the years that Jake and I spent together, opened my heart and mind up to him the way that I have done with you. I never told Jake my deepest, most private thoughts, my most important dreams, my most embarrassing moments, my most embarrassing curiosities or admitted my deepest regrets and most shameful acts. I have never desired to share my greatest joys with him the same way that I do with you. I thought that he was my best friend and I guess he was at the time, but I never knew that friendship could become so incredibly intimate until you came into my life Paul."

"Through you, I have realized so many things about myself Paul. I crave the deep satisfaction we will receive when our bodies and minds become connected at the same time. My body longs for us to share every piece of ourselves with one another. I am certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that when we finally make it to that place, every single emotion and sexual need that I have ever craved will be met. I have no doubt that it will exceed anything that I could possibly imagine. It is extremely important to me that I meet all of your needs too; I want to be everything I can possibly be for you Paul. I have never felt this way about anyone else before… not even Jake."

"I just have to find a way to let go of the past and help my body and mind agree that I no longer need him in the way that I did. I want to apologize now for any pain that I might cause while I am figuring all of this out. I wish that I could take back certain things with Jake; I wish there was only friendship in our past. I don't want to put you though a second of pain. I love you so much."

Paul knew that the imprint could resolve all of this for her; if he gave into it she wouldn't have to figure anything out… she would no longer have any romantic feelings for Jake left and Jake, or any other wolf, would be forbidden to love her or pursue her ever again. Paul had the power to make this go away for Bella but he couldn't do it. She needed to figure this out for herself and he needed her to make the right choice for them, then and only then would he completely let the wolf go. Maybe this was selfish of him but he had never needed anything more; he sincerely thought that it would be better for her as well.

By this time it seemed like a million tears had fallen from Bella's eyes and Paul's shirt was completely saturated where her face had been resting on his chest. Paul had tried to comfort her many times through her confessions and explanations but she wouldn't accept any of it; she felt unworthy of his comfort in that moment and he knew it. She was experiences an enormous burden and a terrible amount of guilt. He wished like hell that she didn't feel that way, because the truth was he shared in her feelings of guilt – he was the one making her explore her feelings. He just prayed that he could hold the wolf at bay long enough… it was difficult, but the selfish part of him needed this.

She added, "I'm so sorry Paul but I have to be honest with you about this. I can't keep thoughts that are this private from you; especially ones that are so prevalent to our future; I just can't Paul. I have never even kept so much as the time that I have my period from you (even though I have no reason whatsoever to share that information with you, we have never even been sexually active before), how could I not share the most important things with you, things that actually concern you. I will always be honest with you Paul, no matter how much it hurts us both and I want you to do the same."

"I have one more thing to tell you because for some reason I think that you have been wondering about it, but haven't asked. I need you to know that the fact that Jake only contacted me twice over the last month hasn't had an effect on anything. I wouldn't love him any more or any less if he would have stayed in touch. I also wouldn't love you any more or any less if he hadn't stayed in touch."

Bella continued, "The only effect that his silence had on us is that I came to know you faster and without interference; I am thankful for that Paul. I know that our friendship and love would have eventually come to light because you are my soul mate Paul but I am glad that we didn't have to wait on it."

Bella wasn't finished, she had even more to say, "I have my doubts that Jake's grades are the real issue anyway. I'm not sure why he wasn't able to contact me but it truly doesn't matter to me. For whatever reason, it was meant to happen the way that it did."

Paul was amazed at Bella's insight concerning Jake's lack of contact, but it also lifted a weight from his shoulders. In the back of Paul's mind he wondered if Bella only loved him because she felt like she had been rejected by Jake without good reason. He feared that if that one thing was altered, their entire life would be altered. Bella seemed confident in the fact that 'fate' had control and that circumstances would merely hinder or increase the momentum of what was destined to happen.

It was Paul's turn to speak. "Bella, I am glad that you have shared all of your thoughts with me. Keeping everything out in the open helps me more than you'll ever know."

Paul paused, he really needed to collect his thoughts so that he could express his thoughts clearly and accurately.

"I know that this is going to be difficult Bella. The thought of standing by and watching you with Jake makes me cringe. It makes me feel completely out of control and that is not a feeling that I am accustomed to experiencing. I have always been in control of everything in my life up until now. However, I have realized that when you give your heart to someone you have no control over what happens to it. You just hope that the person you give it to will protect it."

Paul saw Bella cringe and he realized that those words were probably the worst words he could have chosen to say to her in that moment.

He tried to explain, "Bella, sometimes people have to experience some pain and discomfort before they can really appreciate what they have. You have my heart and I know that you will protect it through all of the pain and discomfort I might have to endure and I accept that. I could throw my hands up in the air and give up on us. I could decide that I don't want any part of a triangle, but I am choosing to accept this for a period of time, just until you can sort through it all. It is my choice, I am a big boy and I know that I can handle it."

"I know in my heart that we will end up together Bella and when we finally do, it will be something more remarkable than either of us can comprehend. When our souls and bodies connect in that way, it will be amazing and I promise you that when it happens you will never be insecure when it comes to us, ever again. We will be connected for life as it should be. I am praying for that day to come quickly Bella."

Bella replied, "I want that too Paul. I am ready for all of this to be over and done with."

Paul stood up and helped Bella to a standing position. He picked her up in a cradle and carried her outside, he locked his door and took her to the car. She was barefoot but he remembered to grab her flats on the way out.

He said, "Let's get you back home. I know that Charlie is probably anxious to see you. I'm sure that he has hated working so much since you've been back Bella. It's been good for me because I love being alone with you, but I know that I'm going to have to share you with Charlie some."

Bella replied, "I have missed my dad too Paul, but I love being alone with you, especially like we were today; I want to spend everyday with you Paul."

Hearing that made Paul extremely happy. He touched Bella's cheek and smiled at her words. He said, "I know that there will come a day when you will be with me all the time and I will never be taking you back to Forks at the end of the day. Someday, when feelings are resolved and nature takes it's course, I'll never let you go."

Bella smiled and wondered why her life had to always be so complicated. She wondered why nothing could just be simple for her. She had no idea how simple her life really was in that moment, especially compared to tomorrow's reality.

Paul and Bella pulled up right after Charlie did and when they got out Charlie asked, "Hey Bells. Paul it's good to see you. Will you eating with us tonight?"

Paul answered, "No, not tonight." Paul felt Bella sink as he said those words.

Paul reached for Bella's hand and smiled at her. He continued, "I will be back a little later though if that is okay with you Charlie. I am going to go see Sam and Embry for a while."

Charlie said that it was fine with him and to tell the guys Hello for him. Paul knew that Charlie would probably be turning in early because on Fridays Charlie went in to work at 6am and left at 3pm, so that he would be free on Friday nights; he had been doing that ever since he and Sue started dating.

Paul looked over at Bella and whispered, "I'm gonna go now Vanilla Bean; I will be back in a couple of hours. Call my cell phone if you need me to come back for some reason; I will come straight back if you need me."

Bella said, "I'll be okay… just hurry back!"

He bent down and softly kissed her lips before getting back in his car to head back to La Push.

Thank you for all the comments, Private Messages,

follows and favorites.

Some of you wonder about different things

and I hope in time it will all become clearer to you.

I think that I responded to each of you with the exception of the guests and a few of you that have your PM set where I can't respond. Some of you asked me questions but I have no way to answer you. Sorry.

A big thank you goes out to you all for waiting for the actual sex in this story! I know I have been teasing the characters and you both.

hehehe

Ya'll are awesome for reading!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	14. Chapter 14

Hmmm. Where shall I even begin…

Firstly, thank you all for reading… most of you are exactly where I hoped you would be reading this story. Your comments have been awesome and I enjoy hearing what you think and what you expect will happen!

I have had more feedback from this story in PMs, follows, favorites, and comments than I ever expected. I started out writing this story to take a break from my other story. I am also working on a J/B story that I won't post anytime soon because I'm afraid that I will never be able to have real life time, work and write two stories fast enough for you all.

As you all have probably seen in the comments, I have gotten some pretty negative comments especially after the last chapter. Unfortunately, they were written as guests or they are people who don't accept personal messages. So, I have decided to post an 'Authors Note'.

If you are angry about the characters, who they are or what they are doing or if you are just angry with me that is okay; you have a right to your opinion… we all have one. I have touched you as a writer and I take that as a compliment. You must be hooked by the story or you would just simply stop reading it.

I remember once reading a J/B story where Jake imprinted on someone and he was going back and forth between her and Bella. The sex scenes were graphic in a naughty kind of way… awful talking and all of that but I was hooked… I had to keep reading to see where it went; I wanted him to be better, make better choices so I kept reading until the end. However, I never once left a dirty comment because it was her story and her imagination and I knew that I could stop reading at any time.

Still, it is 100% fine if someone feels the need to lash out at me… I guess that is what the comments are made for. Right? I'm just thankful that the majority of the readers who comment use it to encourage or discuss their opinions or thoughts or guesses about what might happen next. I think that was what it was intended for mainly… that is the way that I have always used it anyway.

When I labeled this a B/J/P story I did it NOT because it was going to be some orgy between the three of them but because she really does love them both and there will be intimate moments with both wolves. However, more than likely she will eventually make some sort of decision. Do you want to know what that decision will be before you read it?

I have been accused of not loving Jake… that is just not true. I love Jake but as I said in the beginning of this story I wanted to write a Paul that I loved and who I hoped you would love as well. I love both of these wolves and although there will be some pain…more than you have already seen. WHICH PROBABLY MEANS I AM GOING TO FEEL THE HATE FROM SOME! In the end, I want these guys to find happiness. That's all I can say!

There will probably be a sequel (if I had to guess) and this first part is the foundation for a much bigger story. This will kind of be the history of their relationships and then the sequel will take a major turn.

I will be introducing my own characters into the story further along and by the end there will be a huge turn of events with a plot that I hope I can handle writing. Lol

I hope that ya'll stick around to read it… I am enjoying writing it and I will continue to take the crap comments as compliments because that is what they must be.

Hugs to all you wolfgirls!

Shelly aka: majorfaith

PS

Thanks to those of you who sent private messages to me to encourage me. No worries… I won't let anyone get me down, I'm having too much fun!


	15. Chapter 15

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

'A Brother's Support'

On the way home from Forks all Paul could do was relive all that had transpired that afternoon. He had never been so completely consumed by anyone before and he loved the way that it felt. He loved Bella… his Vanilla Bean.

He and Bella continued to share more and more of themselves each time they were together. When they were together neither of them wanted to put on the brakes but up to this point Paul had thankfully been able to, he somehow found the will to stop things before they completely got out of control.

He truly didn't feel as though he had much of a choice in the matter. She was his imprint but he desperately needed her to choose him over Jake - on her own. Until she was able to make that decision, he just couldn't take that final step with her. He needed her to make that choice even more than he needed to be with her sexually, possibly as much as he needed air to breathe. He believed that he could handle waiting, as long as he could sustain the emotional and intimate physical contact with her and so far he had been able to obtain that with Bella. She needed it to, he was certain of that, so he didn't feel this need was going to become an issue he might have to compromise on.

When Paul and Bella were together, she was putty in his hands and he was putty in hers. Paul knew that she was feeling the partial effects from the imprint but he was confident that she chose to love him before the imprint was affecting her at all and he found a tremendous amount of comfort in that fact – he just wished it could be enough.

He pulled into his driveway, stripped and ran into the forest with a pair of shorts tied around his neck. He had to find Sam and Embry. He listened closely to see if there was anyone out there who had phased but he didn't here anything. When he got to Embry's house he saw Angela working in the yard, he stopped quick and phased back. He put on his shorts before stepping into their yard. He cleared his throat to give Angela warning, so that she wouldn't be startled by his unexpected presence.

She looked up and smiled, "Hey Paul. How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while."

He smiled and said, "Honestly, I don't know. I am overwhelmed by everything that is going on in my life right now. I am consumed with happiness one minute, sadness and anxiety in the next and then complete and utter confusion the rest of the time. The happiness that I feel overpowers it all, so I am finding comfort in that. I'm sorry for rambling Angela; I really don't know why I am sharing all of this with you, it is totally out of character for me. I really need to speak to Sam and Embry. Are they here?"

She replied, "I'm sorry that you are in such a state of turmoil Paul but you can vent to me anytime you need to. Try to hold on to the happiness though, it will carry you through all the other emotions until you find your way."

Paul smiled and thanked her. Then she added, "Sam is with Jake. He is running him for some reason; something about disobeying a direct order to stay away from someone."

Paul nodded knowingly. She continued, "Embry just went inside to make us something to drink. Go on in Paul. I have a lot to do out here in the yard so you will have plenty of privacy. It is really good to see you."

Paul nodded and passed her to go speak to Embry. Paul really liked Angela and he was happy that Embry imprinted on such a great girl.

He stepped inside and said, "Embry?" Embry called from the kitchen. "There you are. I have been expecting you. Angela has been working hard in the yard. Let me make her a glass of ice water and take it to her, then we can talk!"

Embry did as he said and I heard him tell Angela how much he loved her before he came back inside. Paul couldn't help but think that he and Bella might live just like this one day.

When Embry came back in he told him to sit with him and they sat together in the living room.

Embry: What is going on with you Paul? You and I both know that you are hiding something and you wouldn't be here unless you figured I already knew what it was or at least that I was suspecting something in particular.

Paul looked down at the floor. Embry could tell that he was consumed by emotion and he looked like he was in some sort of personal fight with himself, or possibly an ongoing fight with his wolf. They had all experienced that at one time or another. It seemed that the wolf and the man didn't always see eye to eye.

Paul: I have been hiding something very important but I have my reasons for it. I'm ready to explain but I need you to keep an open mind; I know that you in particular are going to understand how I am feeling, but you might find part of what I am going to explain to you maddening. Just try not to over analyze my reasoning and accept it for what it is… my choice.

Embry knew that he was right for sure now. Embry was the only other wolf who had imprinted on anyone, so he was obviously the person Paul would come to.

Embry: I already know what it is. Why are you hiding it Paul? I don't understand why you would want to hide a feeling like this from anyone; it is the most magnificent feeling in the world. It is intense and passionate, emotional and sexual; it is a relationship full of respect but it is still as sexy as hell. It is amazing!

The need you feel for one another could never be described in mere words Paul; the love and adoration you feel for one another is so completely consuming that you feel you could explode at any time. It is so great that a sexual release is the only thing that helps you feel like you might be able to contain yourself and not ignite and go up into a million blithering flames. And Paul… your imprint wants that sexual release as much as you do… she needs it just as desperately as you do. When it comes to that, you share the same desires and the word, 'no' doesn't even fit into the equation. It is incredible Paul… don't fight it! I have never been happier than I am everyday with Angela.

Granted, your situation is a little more complicated because Angela had no history with anyone in the pack but imprinting is more powerful than any relationship that Bella could have shared with anyone before. Don't worry about any of that; the wolf will take care of the complications, you'll see. The wolf might not be able to stop normal men from hitting on your imprint but he will definitely stop another wolf.

Paul stood up and began to pace.

Paul: I DON'T WANT THAT EMBRY!

Embry: Why? I don't understand… help me understand Paul.

Paul: Okay but you have to listen and try your best to understand.

Embry: Okay. I will listen and try my best.

Paul: Before my transformation, before I even moved to La Push with my sorry excuse for a foster family, I met Bella. We went to Forks Elementary together. She was in the third grade and I was in the fifth. I am three years older than her but she was only 2 grades behind me in school. Now she has skipped a grade and she is a senior.

Anyway, we were in the gym one day and she tripped; I have never seen a clumsier girl when she walks… it's like she trips over her own toes or something. Anyway, I caught her so that she didn't hit the floor with her face; she probably would have knocked her front teeth out had I not been there. Anyway, I helped her stand up and get her balance, but when she looked up at me and our eyes met, I immediately became very protective of her. I would have asked her to be my girlfriend right then and there, but at the time our age difference seemed like too much. I decided just to keep my eye on her and make sure that she was always safe and never picked on. She was so cute!

Embry nodded but thankfully stayed silent.

Paul continued: After I moved to La Push to begin my 6th grade year some time passed and I stopped thinking about her. You know that as soon as I turned 16, I phased. Soon, I started to become very popular with the girls and I liked how it made me feel.

My home life sucked. My parents didn't want me and they spent their time telling me what an inconvenience I was to them and how I would never amount to anything. When my parents gave me away to the state, my foster family told me that I was too stupid to ever accomplish anything in this life and that I should just forget trying to have any kind of future other than helping with their family business of selling used parts and crushing metal for money.

I never let their words crush me; I told myself that they were just mean because they hated their own lives. I worked hard in school, made extremely good grades and planned to go to college; that is when I decided that I would become a childhood psychologist so that I could help kids who have parents or family members that make them feel worthless through physical or emotional abuse, or any other problems that could affect their futures negatively.

Getting back on track…

Being degraded for all of those years made me feel worthless… unworthy of having anyone special in my life, so when girls began to give me their attention I took comfort in the way that it made me feel about myself. They made me feel good, the way they seemed to want me. Sex felt good and I was good at pleasing them, so they came back to me repeatedly… practically begging for it. I felt like I had conquered something once I got them into my bed. I was in complete control and I loved it until it ended each time. Then I was in an emotional low until I got my next fix… another sexual gratification. I didn't care about those girls Embry, I only cared about how they made me feel. I hate what I became and now I am ashamed of that behavior for lots of reasons but mostly because of how it must make Bella feel deep down. I did things that I can never take back… I am just thankful that I chose girls who weren't interested in love, they only wanted sex. I'm thankful that I never began a real relationship with a woman because it would have been terrible all the way around if I had been in a serious relationship when I imprinted.

Back to Bella…

When Bella tripped at the beach , the night we had the bonfire over Thanksgiving weekend, I caught her again. When I caught her in my arms that night, I immediately imprinted on her the moment our eyes met. I was totally consumed by her in that moment. All I wanted was her. I felt like I couldn't breathe without her. I couldn't exist without her in my life. The love that consumed me was a feeling that I had never experienced before… not even a tiny fraction of it. However, I fought my wolf… I haven't accepted the full imprint yet. It is as hard as hell and it is killing me but I refuse to give in just yet.

I have never felt love for anyone in my life before, with the exception of my brothers, which is completely different and totally doesn't come close to what I am talking about. You know exactly what I mean because of Angela.

At first, I was thrown because she looks so much older, but really it only took me a few seconds to realize that she was the girl from my past; then everything began to make sense to me. That night I began feeling completely protective of her all over again, even more than I had before.

When I smelled sex all over her I about freaked. She reeked of Jake and Jake had her sweet, amazing scent all over him. I wanted to kick his ass right there. I wanted to make him suffer the consequences for touching my imprint. I thought that he had sex with her that night and I was completely consumed with relief followed by great joy when I realized that they hadn't gone through with it. I found out that she was still a virgin so I knew that I would find a way to deal with the rest. Hell, look at my past… how could I judge her.

Embry: I know. Jake told me that they didn't have sex. I can completely imagine how relieved you must have been.

Paul shook his head at Embry's knowledge on the subject but Paul let it go and continued…

Paul: Embry, my point in sharing all of this with you is so that I can help you understand my reasoning's for keeping this from her and from the pack.

In my whole entire life, no one has ever chosen to be with me willingly. No one has ever loved me unconditionally. I have shared everything about myself with Bella over the past month…with the exception of the pack, and she loves me in spite of everything I have done and everything I have come from. She chose to love me on her own without the power of the imprint, she chose to love me while she was still in Jacksonville.

Embry, I won't give into the power of the imprint until I am ready. I have given the wolf about half the control but I am still firmly holding the reins and I am not willing to let go.

Embry: Why Paul? Don't be afraid to let it take over.

Paul: NO! I won't do it, because the minute that I do is when Bella will loose the part of herself that can choose me on her own. The wolf will take over and bond us. I will never know if she would have willingly chose me over Jake. I have to let her choose. I am scared to death but for me this is the only way. No one has ever chosen me on their own and I want desperately for her to be the one to choose to be with me… over him. Then, I will let the wolf go and he can build his magical bubble around our relationship. I know that this is selfish but I can't help it.

Embry sat there for a long time in silence; Paul quit pacing and sat back down across from him. Finally he spoke.

Embry: I understand Paul. I hate that you feel the need to do this because I know the pain that it must be causing you, but I do understand your reasons and I respect them. I'm also proud of the person you've become and I feel certain that you will be good for one another.

How are you going to go about this though? What are you going to do?

Paul: Well, Bella is my best friend above all else; I will always and forever be that for her. She has told me how much she loves me but she has also admitted that she loves Jake. She thinks that she is just confused because she and Jake spent so many years believing that they were destined to spend the rest of their lives together. She needs time to work through her feelings for him and I am granting her that.

She has apologized for the pain it may cause me… this temporary triangle of sorts but we have agreed to work through it together. I told her not to worry about it because I am a grown man and I can handle it. She feels a very strong need to be with me and she refuses to spend very much time apart from me. Whenever we are alone things become very intimate between us, it is inevitable it seems, but I never let it cross that fine line. It is without a doubt the hardest thing in the world for me; stopping us from doing what we both want so desperately.

Over the past month we have become practically one with each other, neither of us can stand to be apart and it isn't just the imprint because it was beginning while she was still in Jacksonville. I was doing more than helping her through the thing with Jake… we were learning everything there is to know about each other. There isn't one single detail of my life that I kept from her, except the pack. She has shared everything in her soul with me too and nothing will ever compare to the feeling of knowing someone completely and loving them in spite of it all. I just need this one last thing from her Paul… I need her to choose me.

Even if I have to endure seeing her in his arms to figure it all out, I am willing to do that. I just told her that I hoped that she wouldn't cross over any lines or do anything major that she can't take back. I don't want her losing her virginity to Jake; that is one thing that I don't think I could bare… I might kill him or my wolf might.

I am so tired from fighting the imprint, it is physically draining so I pray that she can figure this all out quickly. She said that she would do it as quickly as she possibly could.

Please have my back Em… I really need your support!

Embry: You are my brother and you will always have my support. Let's just keep this knowledge between us for now… do you think that you can keep this to yourself for now?

Paul: Yes.

Embry: What is your back up plan? Are you just going to let her go if she happens to choose Jake? What are you going to do if she does lose her virginity while she is trying to figure this out. Have you thought of these things?

Paul: I have thought of nothing but those things Embry. If she chooses Jake I will let her go… I will continue to be her best friend until one of us stops breathing, maybe longer Embry… who knows. If she loses her virginity in this process, it is going to hurt like hell but I will never let her know it. I will never place the burden of guilt on her, especially for something I allowed to happen. Besides, I know Bella and if that were to happen she would punish herself worse than I ever could. She would be burdened with a guilt that would hurt so deeply it might never heal completely… I just hope that if that actually happens. the power of the imprint will cause her to forget that action.

Embry: Are you going to tell her about the pack secrets?

Paul: Yes! I'm not exactly sure when or how but I am going to tell her. She is my best friend and it is the only secret that I have from her… it kills me to keep anything from her and I know that she would hate the fact that I felt I had to hide such a big part of myself from her. I have already told her that there was one thing in my life that I haven't shared with her, one thing that I haven't found the courage to explain to her but that I would soon. She really wants me to open up to her about it but she is being patient with me. I told her that it wasn't anything she needed to worry about, that it was just something that happened to me that is very overwhelming. What I regret is that when I tell her about it, I will also have to tell her that it happened to Jake as well and that is the real reason that he didn't stay in touch with her over the past month.

Bella told me that she already suspects that Jake's silence didn't have anything to do with his grades; she believes that it was something else entirely but she said it didn't really matter to her what it was. She said that it gave us an opportunity to get to know each other faster… she says that she and I are soul mates and that we have always been destined to find each other so it would have eventually happened anyway but Jake's silence gave us the time that we needed to find each other sooner. She is actually thankful for it, if you can believe that.

Embry: She has no idea how true the 'soul mate' statement really is.

Paul: I know. I have to get going. It has been well over an hour already and Bella will be feeling the physical pain from the imprint soon. She can last about twice as long as the normal imprint since I haven't given in to it fully but it does still affect her after some time passes. She says that she has a dull pain in her stomach whenever we are apart, even while she was in Jacksonville, but she believes it is nerves. I really have to go though Em. Thank you brother… for listening and supporting me.

If there is anything that Bella and I can do to help you and Angela get ready for the bonfire tomorrow, just let us know.

Paul: I'll call you tomorrow! Thanks for offering. I am sure Bella can help Angela with the food and I'll need help with the lights, putting the dance floor back together and cutting firewood.

Paul phased and ran back to his house. He knew that Embry would keep his secret from the pack but he also knew that he would tell Angela. The imprint causes you to want to share everything with one another. If you tell an imprinted wolf a secret you have to accept that you are opening up to both of them. Paul trusted Angela completely, so he truly didn't mind.

When Paul got to his house he realized that he had been gone a lot longer than he originally thought. It had been nearly three hours. He really needed a shower after phasing and running but he didn't have time for everything. He jumped in the shower quickly, hitting the high spots and ran out the door. He sped down Fork's straight highway at about 95mph, he knew that he needed to get to Bella as quickly as he possibly could.

When he got to her house, he noticed that Sue's car was parked in the garage and the cruiser was gone. All the lights were off in the house and he briefly wondered if everyone had gone out to dinner until he heard a torturous cry come from upstairs, he knew immediately that it was Bella. He reached and turned the door knob but it was locked, "SHIT!" he exclaimed. He had to get up there… right this minute! He started to knock the door down but decided to check the door on the back porch first. Luckily, Charlie had forgotten to lock that door.

Paul burst in the door and flew up the stairs to her room. He slung her bedroom door open and he couldn't believe the sight in front of him….

Hate to stop here girls but I promise not to keep you waiting too long!

Thanks for all the feedback!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	16. Chapter 16

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

'The Pain from the Pull'

Paul burst in the door and flew up the stairs to her room. He slung her bedroom door open and he couldn't believe the sight in front of him….

Bella had stripped down to nothing but a thong and she was drenched with sweat. She was lying on her side in the fetal position holding her stomach as hard as she possibly could, while she was deliriously moaning and crying out Paul's name. "Stop it Paul! Stop it from hurting. UGHHHH! It hurt so badly… please, do something! Do anything to make the pain stop. PAUL! PAUL! Where are you? Can't you hear me?"

In one swift motion Paul closed the door with his foot and locked it with his finger. He lifted Bella into a cradle and began to rock her back and forth in his arms. He knew exactly what was wrong with her and he was praying that his body next to hers would ease her pain more quickly. He rubbed the sweaty strands of hair out of her face and placed kisses all over it, tasting the salt that had seeped through her pores.

He continued to rock her and apologize. "I am so sorry Vanilla Bean. I am so sorry that I left you for so long. This fucking life of mine is going to be the death of us. Shhhhhh baby. It's going to be okay… the pain will go away soon; I promise."

Paul carried her into her bathroom and ran a tub of warm water. He took off his clothes and got in and pulled her in on top of him. He hoped that he didn't get caught with her like this, but his first concern was making her better. He laid her back against his chest and he could feel her body resting against his manhood. He could have easily been aroused under different circumstances but in this moment he just needed to soothe her. He was hoping that the warm water would do just that.

His arms were encircling her waist and he was rubbing over her flat stomach with both of his hands. He rubbed a hand over her bare mound, loving everything about her and trying to rub her in ways that he knew she found comfort in.

Paul whispered in her ear, "Are you feeling any better baby? Please tell me if you are feeling better." Bella just quietly moaned.

He waited patiently, just so incredibly happy that she didn't seem to be in pain any longer. She was still delirious so he didn't think that she would remember a lot of the night; her mind had thankfully helped her escape some of the pain.

Paul grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. He put one on the floor for him to stand on. He carried her back into her room and pulled the sheets off of her bed in one swoop. He laid her on one side of the mattress, as he quickly dried off and threw his clothes back on. He grabbed some fresh sheets from the linen closet and made the bed one half at a time so that Bella wouldn't have to get up.

He got her a clean pair of the short, short PJ's she liked so much and put them on her beautiful body, not bothering to put panties on her. He knew that she would be more comfortable without them; when she was with him, she liked to sleep completely nude but he felt like he should let her make that decision for herself.

Paul decided that he wasn't going anywhere other than out to move his car out of sight; he didn't want Charlie to know that he was with her. He decided that there was no way he was leaving her side for more than an hour at a time from now on. He would at least be close enough to her that she wouldn't feel the pain of separation again… even if he had to stand in the woods nearby.

Paul went out and moved his car, barely making it back upstairs before Charlie walked in. Paul could hear Charlie talking to Sue downstairs.

Charlie said, "I guess Bella is asleep; I hope that she isn't really sick. I am going to go up and check on her."

Sue replied, "Okay, Charlie."

Paul reached and unlocked the door and hid in her closet. Charlie walked in and rubbed Bella's hair out of her face. He said, "I love you Bells. I'm so glad you are back home with me." He kissed her on the cheek, walked out and shut the door behind himself.

Once Paul heard Charlie's footsteps in the kitchen he came out of the closet and locked the door again. He stripped down to his boxers and got in between the sheets with Bella. He inhaled her scent to calm himself; he was completely pissed at himself for staying away from her too long. He knew that it was his fault that she had experienced such severe pain, however it was over now and all he could do was comfort her and make sure that it never happened again.

Bella rolled into Paul's warmth and he placed his arm under her neck so that he could hold her firmly against his body.

She whispered, "Thank you for taking care of me tonight Paul. I'm not sure why I got so sick, but I am fine now that you are back."

He replied, "I love you Vanilla Bean… I'm not going anywhere. Go to sleep honey."

She smiled and slipped into a sound sleep almost immediately.

It took Paul a little while longer, he had too many thoughts running through his mind. He hoped that he was making the right decisions for them and he hoped like hell that they wouldn't back fire on him. He pushed the thoughts from his mind and focused on Bella's breathing and almost immediately fell asleep.

The next morning Paul woke up briefly but then dozed again. At 7 o'clock he woke back up as the sun was flooding through the window landing directly on his face. He didn't set his alarm the night before so it was nice to wake up so naturally. He couldn't remember the last time he had done that.

Before Paul had even opened his eyes, he immediately felt abandoned; Bella wasn't next to him which caused him to sit up instantly. He had a look of worry on his face and a heavy weight on his heart. He frantically looked to his left and noticed that Bella was several feet away from him, sitting Indian style on her bed looking directly at him; she had been watching him sleep for the past hour, semi-patiently waiting for him to wake up.

Paul's entire body relaxed and the emptiness was completely gone, however he was having a hard time interpreting the look on her face.

She said, "Hi."

He said, "Good morning Vanilla Bean. It looks like you are feeling better this morning." Bella nodded and sat there in thought. He noticed that her heart rate sped up a little, which immediately increased his own. Paul reached for her and she slightly flinched; the rejection that her reaction caused him to feel was both unfamiliar and unbearable.

With a look of seriousness splayed across her face she asked, "What happened last night Paul?"

He asked, "You don't remember?"

She said, "I only remember bits and pieces which only seems to be confusing me more. I remember telling Charlie and Sue that I didn't want to go to dinner with them because my stomach was hurting." Paul's stomach immediately ached with guilt.

She continued, "I remember that the pain and cramping got worse and worse until I just wanted to die. I have never felt that kind of pain and it is strange that it just went away."

Paul stayed quiet and let her talk. "I have been wondering about some things Paul… things that don't make a lot of sense to me."

Paul nodded and Bella continued. "The entire time I was in Jacksonville I had a dull ache in the pit of my stomach."

Paul had no idea how he was going to deal with the questions that were coming and he was scared to move or breath, let alone speak.

She continued, "The ache never went away the entire time I was there. It finally subsided the moment that I walked into the airport where you were waiting for me. I didn't think a lot of it until my stomach began to ache at the exact time you dropped me off and drove away this afternoon. The only difference in the pain was the level of it; it was a little stronger than it was while I was in Jacksonville."

She paused but he didn't interrupt her thoughts, he needed to know what she thought about it all.

"Last night the pain continually got worse until I was rolling around on my bed, crying out in pain for what seemed like hours Paul. I wondered if I had food poisoning or something but I never threw up; it didn't seem like that kind of pain anyway."

She continued, "My mind began racing last night while I was in so much pain. I began thinking about all the other times I felt physical pain when you left me. I thought about how it seemed to increase when you left and would completely dissipate the moment you returned. The first time I recall having the pain was after Jake and I left the bonfire, thanksgiving weekend - the night that I met you.

When I went to the grocery store with Leah on Thanksgiving Day and while Jake and I went for a walk in the woods the same day, my stomach hurt some. It never stopped until you showed up at the door to eat with us. However, it returned as soon as you left after our talk on the back porch that night.

Then, I remembered you questioning me about how I was feeling while I was in Jacksonville and I told you that I had some dull pain in my stomach but that I thought it was nerves. I also remembered that you asked me the same question when I got back to Forks, like you knew that something was going on with me Paul."

Bella looked down at her legs crossed in front of her and began to fidget with her ankle bracelet. Her breathing was becoming labored and a tear fell from her right eye. She looked up and seemed to be looking deep into Paul's soul.

She said, "I remember taking all of my clothes off last night because I was incredibly hot and wet with sweat. I vaguely remember you bursting in the door and taking care of me but I do remember. You kept apologizing and talking about your, 'fucking life'. You never once seemed to question what was going on with me; it was like you already knew exactly what was happening to me. I could tell that you were in almost as much pain as I was Paul and you were filled with guilt. You were crying Paul but you never left me. I remember you taking a bath with me and rubbing my stomach until my pain subsided. I remember you changing my sheets and dressing me. I missed you while you went downstairs but then felt extremely relieved the moment you returned."

Paul never expected the next few things that Bella seemed to be questioning him about.

"Something else I found odd was that you somehow knew that Charlie was coming up to see me last night, like you were able to hear exactly what was going on downstairs or something. You reacted quick enough to unlock the door and hide in the closet only coming back after he was gone. You locked the door, undressed and got into bed with me. I remember how hot you were next to my body and how much it comforted me. It felt amazing so I rolled into it and I immediately fell asleep in your warm embrace."

She paused. Paul whispered in amazement, "You remember a lot more than bits and pieces Vanilla Bean."

Bella nodded and crawled over top of Paul. She straddled him as she looked down into his face, she took a deep breath and said, "Paul, you are my best friend and I love you more than anything in this entire world. I love you as so much more than a best friend Paul… you know that. I began falling in love with you before I ever came back to Forks. You have never kept anything from me, you have confessed things to me that people just don't admit out loud and I have never judged you… not even once. Every time you shared a piece of you heart with me, it only made me love and adore you more; you trusted me with every part of yourself and I felt honored. You know what is going on with me Paul, I know that you do. Please, Paul. I need you to share whatever this is you are holding back. I have tried to be patient and let you come to me on your own terms, in your own time but now I realize that whatever it is has something to do with me too. Just let me in Paul… I need you to trust that I can handle this 'overwhelming thing that happened to you'… I think that was how you described this secret."

Paul could only look up at Bella and nod. Bella's single tear fell onto his chest and he knew that it was proof of the overwhelming emotion and anticipation she was experiencing.

Paul whispered, "Okay Vanilla Bean. I'm ready. I never meant to get you caught up in this life, but I truly had no control over it. I tried to protect you from it but it is impossible now. I swear, I will do my best to manage the effects that it has on you though, at least until you decide that you want to be a part of this life. I love you Bella."

She replied, "I love you too Paul."

She crawled off of him and he got up. Without even bothering to put his clothes on he grabbed her hand and pulled her to leave her room with him.

She said, "No Paul. We can't just go out there. Charlie doesn't know that you are here and even if he did we can't come out of my room wearing nothing. Look at me, look at you… Are you crazy? Do you want Charlie to kill you and ground me until I am thirty?"

Paul answered, "No worries Vanilla Bean. Charlie and Sue left over an hour ago."

Bella exclaimed, "Sue?"

He smiled deviously and said, "Yep! I never would have guessed it either but he and Sue have become… quite close, if you know what I mean. Sue is noisier than you are when you are aroused, but that is only because she and Charlie are actually sealing the deal. My guess is that you will have her topped whenever we finally…"

Bella slapped him and said, "Stop it! How do you know they are?"

He said, "I have incredible senses…my ability to hear, see and smell are off the charts. Like right now, you are hot for me and I can smell it. The minute that I mentioned how you moan when you are hot, you became aroused. Don't worry… I love that I can tell."

Bella turned three sheets of red and Paul thought she looked adorable.

She said, "So that is how you knew that my dad was coming up last night." Paul nodded.

Paul pulled her by the hand and said, "Come on!"

She pulled back and said, "No, Paul. My dad could come back."

He said, "I will know it before he makes it anywhere near the driveway Bella. Trust me! We are not going to be in the house anyway."

She said, "I'm not going outside dressed like this."

He said, "Yes, you are! We'll go out the back door… we are going into the woods."

She asked the obvious question. "Why? You are acting crazy!"

Paul replied, "Do you want me to explain what I have been keeping from you?" Bella nodded.

Paul continued, "Then trust me Vanilla Bean. It will be so much easier and faster for me to show you… then I can explain and answer any questions that you have. Okay? Can you trust me beautiful?"

She smiled and said, "Of course Paul."

He was pleased. "Good! Let's go."

They went out onto the porch and Paul listened for a second. He said, "No one is anywhere around right now. Let's go!"

Paul picked her up in a cradle and he quickly carried her into the woods, she was barefoot and he didn't want her to hurt her feet or fall over her own toes. He walked down into the woods, found a soft grassy area and said, "Do you remember the stories that Billy told at the bonfire? You know, the legends of the Quileute Tribe?"

Bella nodded. She remembered the book too and Jake talking about the stories and how sometimes they felt real to him.

He continued, "They are true. I know that it is unbelievable but they are true. I shape shifted when I was 16 years old. The wolves have incredible senses as wolves and as men. Before the transformation, the boy that is destined to phase grows rapidly into a man. Even if he is 15 or 16, he will look 21 or 22 years old and he is in remarkable shape. He grows in height and weight, but his weight is nothing but hard, lean muscle."

Bella was absorbing everything Paul was saying but she knew that even though she trusted Paul with all of her heart, she couldn't truly comprehend or believe this completely until she saw it with her own eyes.

Paul looked into her eyes and knew exactly what she was thinking. He said, "I'm going to show you… don't be scared. You trust me don't you?" Bella nodded but didn't say a word.

He said, "I'm going to phase Bella. When I come near you in wolf form, please try not to be nervous… I would never hurt you. I could never, ever hurt you. I am going to lay next to you and if you feel comfortable with it, I want you to climb on and hold onto my coat."

Again, Bella nodded but didn't say a word.

Paul took his boxers off and stood before her looking more beautiful than she ever remembered. She thought that it had something to do with him trusting her with his deepest secret and she realized that after today, they would both know every single thing there was to know about the other. She never thought she would ever share that kind of transparency with anyone… ever!

She watched Paul as his body began to shake, his face looking more intense than she had ever seen it before. He started blurring around the edges and then it happened, right in front of her eyes. He was beautiful! Magnificent and huge! His coat had a lot of different colors in it but it was mostly a beautiful platinum color and if you looked closely, his coat appeared to have a hint of blue in the sunlight. His coat was much softer than she would have expected a wolf's to be. She longed to touch him and she wasn't scared in the least. His coat was shiny and glossy and when he turned to face her, she noticed her reflection in his gray-blue eyes.

She saw herself standing there with wonder, admiration and unmistakable love in her eyes. She saw that she was dressed in her sheer little short, short pajamas with no bra and no panties, feeling completely comfortable and uninhibited in front of her best friend. Her love for Paul was growing by leaps and bounds and she couldn't seem to stop it… and didn't want to. She wondered how she could even compare the love she felt for Paul in this moment to the love she felt for Jake a month ago. Her love for Jake seemed like puppy love compared to what she felt for Paul but she knew that she still had to deal with the feelings she had for Jake. Standing there, looking into the eyes of a wolf, she hoped to find closer in her relationship with Jake. She briefly wondered if she would feel this way when Paul changed back to his human form or was she simply overwhelmed and not thinking rationally. Was she finally certain of what she wanted, or was she a fickle girl?

She stood there in awe with a million emotions flowing through her…

Her MIND was begging her to make some sort of sense of all this, like there was a rational, logical explanation for the reality that was now hers. Her SOUL was telling her that Paul was her one and only… her best friend and mate for life and the only person she would ever fully trust with everything that was her. Her HEART was bleeding for Paul… hurt by the thought of him keeping such an important part of himself from her, out of fear that she might not be able to accept him for what he was. Her BODY was craving him in every way that she could… wanting to feel his warmth and touch, and longing to give herself to him completely, right there on the forest's floor.

Paul's wolf walked over to where she was sitting. He laid down in front of her and looked into her eyes, she felt a tear slip down her cheek as she told him how beautiful he was.

She held massive head in her hands as she spoke. "Paul… I'm so sorry that you felt you had to hide such a huge part of yourself from me. I love you and there is nothing that will ever change that."

He laid his head in her lap and she rubbed over his fur as she spoke honestly. "I love you Paul and finding out about this part of your life only increases my love for you, I want you to know that. I do need to talk to you though Paul… I have a lot of questions."

Paul nodded but obviously couldn't speak to her. She knew that he understood what she was saying and she was certain that he had a lot that he also needed to explain to her.

She stood up and climbed on his back. Paul stood up slowly and waited until he felt her holding onto his fur tightly with her hands and squeezing around his body with her tiny little legs. He began to run, slowly at first but then increasing his speed as he felt she could handle it. She loved the way that the wind blew through her hair as they swiftly made their way through the forest. She could smell the mold in the trees and the dirt on the ground as Paul's paws slung it behind them.

Paul ran for about ten minutes, until he reached a pond that she didn't even know existed. Paul laid down and she climbed off knowingly. He phased back into his human form, needing desperately to feel her in his arms. He was standing in front of her completely naked… not only was his body naked but his entire soul was without cover… he was completely opening himself up to her; completely giving her the power to love him or destroy him forever.

She ran to him and he pulled her into his warm embrace. Her tears were flowing freely now and his strong arms were supporting her weak knees. He knew that if he let her go she would plummet to the ground. She was overwhelmed just as he expected she would be, however she was also accepting of all she was discovery about him. His heart was full of relief but he knew that he still had a lot more to explain and he knew he wouldn't truly be able to relax until he got it all out in the open.

He whispered, "Let's sit down Vanilla Bean."

She nodded but he never let her go. He sat down and she straddled him and laid her head on his chest. He could feel the tears falling on his chest and he asked her if she was okay.

She whispered, "Yes. I am just overwhelmed and it hurts me that you felt you had to hide such a huge part of yourself from me."

He nodded and said, "I'm sorry Vanilla Bean. I always knew that I would tell you, I just didn't know how. I promise you though… after today you will know everything there is to know about me."

He leaned against a tree and pulled her into a cradle position, holding her in his arms so that he could look into her face.

He said, "I know that you have questions… do you want to ask questions before I explain more?"

She nodded. He waited patiently for her to get her thoughts together.

She asked, "So, you phased when you were sixteen…" Paul nodded.

"…and you are part of a pack?" Paul nodded. "Who all is part of the pack?" Paul immediately tensed. She was starting with the hardest questions to answer first.

Paul took a deep breath before answering her. "Sam is the Alpha… the leader of the pack – any requests that he makes or rules he sets have to be obeyed. Embry is Sam's Beta… he is second in command and also has to be obeyed. Then there is Jared and Quill. And…" He hesitated.

Bella asked, "And?"

He answered, "And Jake Vanilla Bean." Bella jumped up and Paul immediately feared what might come from her mouth.

She exclaimed, "Jake? When? How, Paul?"

Paul reached for her hand but she refused to take it and the rejection stabbed him like a knife. "I'm sorry Bella. After Jake dropped you off at the airport he came to my house. He was furious that you received that text from me at the airport and when you told him that we wanted to be friends he wanted to make sure that I understood that there were going to be some kind of guidelines I guess. He just felt threatened and he wanted to make sure my intentions were honorable." Paul paused and Bella waited. "He was so angry that he phased right in front of me. We all knew that Jake was getting very close to his transformation because of how quickly he had grown and how strong he had become in such a short period of time. I'm sure you even noticed the changes in him." Bella nodded but never spoke a word.

Paul continued, "When Jake phased, I phased so that I could talk to him."

She held up the palm of her hand, shook her head and squeezed her eyes in disbelief. "What are you talking about Paul?" Paul understood exactly what she was asking him.

He explained, "When we are in wolf form we can share our thoughts. Whatever Jake was thinking or feeling I could see. It's the gift of telepathy… extrasensory perception; we have it so that we can communicate through thoughts during combat or conflict. It also makes it easier for us to explain things to one another quickly or show each other things that we can't describe in words. As you become older, you can hide some of your thoughts if you concentrate on doing that but a young wolf has no control in that area whatsoever."

Bella was still stuck on the words COMBAT AND CONFLICT and she didn't like the sound of it at all… she remembered Billy's stories and the reason for warriors shape shifting. She didn't want to think about that right now.

Paul continued, "Anyway, when a wolf is close to phasing, sometimes extreme anger can speed up the progression and I think that is what happened in Jake's case. It was inevitable though, it was going to happen within the next month, but I feel pretty confident that is why it happened on that particular day." Paul waited to read something, anything in Bella's expression but there was nothing and she still hadn't moved toward him.

He continued, "I phased and began talking to Jake. He was yelling at me like he didn't even realize that he had transformed… like he hadn't even noticed or something. Finally, he realized and he started asking me questions. I did the best that I could to help him understand but he was pissed off and having a hard time listening to me. Finally, Sam and Embry showed up and they took over with him. Sam basically forbid Jake to contact you. Jake was pissed at the world and couldn't control his emotions enough to talk, so that ruled out calling you. He couldn't Skype with you because he could phase in front of his laptop and our secret would be revealed. We aren't supposed to share our secrets with anyone outside of the pack."

Paul immediately realized that he opened himself up for another hard question but he hoped that it would take Bella a few minutes to catch up. He decided to keep talking, hoping to distract her.

He needed desperately for her to let him hold her or at least touch her as he continued to share more of these complicated truths. "Are you okay Vanilla Bean… please, come here."

Bella looked at him with tear filled eyes that were threatening to spill over at any time, obviously overwhelmed by everything. She slowly walked over to him and sat back in his lap. He held her and whispered into her hair, "I'm sorry baby. I know this is a lot for you to grasp."

Bella laid her cheek against Paul's chest and focused on his heartbeat;

thankfully it seemed to calm her. She attempted to articulate her thoughts, "It is difficult to grasp Paul, but I still love you and that will never change… okay?"

He nodded and said, "Okay Vanilla Bean. I love you too, more than I ever have."

Paul held Bella in silence for a few minutes, letting her mind catch up. He couldn't imagine how she must be feeling; he was surprised that she was able to compose herself at all.

Bella said, "So… Jake phased, and that is why he didn't contact me." Paul nodded. Feeling hurt, she continued with the questions he had been dreading for weeks. "Why did you tell me that he was in trouble with Billy about his grades? Why did you lie to me? You are never dishonest with me Paul and I know that."

Paul explained the best way he could. "I'm sorry…. I have carried around so much guilt about that Bella because you are right, I never lie or keep things from you. So all I could do was be honest and tell you that I did have something that I was keeping from you and that I needed time to open up about it. I always knew that I would eventually tell you." Paul paused and then answered her question of why, "Sam told me that I had to make up an excuse for Jake, something that you would believe. I came up with that story and Billy agreed to back me up. Jake was worried that you would never understand his silence… especially since the two of you had become intimate." She stopped Paul again.

Bella looked up and asked, "You knew that we had been intimate? Jake told you?" Paul didn't say anything at first, he waited for her to understand.

She said, "You saw it through his thoughts?"

Paul answered honestly, "Yes."

Even now, sitting there with her in the forest, the thought of it made his hair stand up all over his body.

She said, "I'm sorry that you had to see that Paul. Has everyone seen it… everyone in the pack I mean."

He regretted having to answer her, but he didn't have a choice. "I'm afraid so Vanilla Bean."

She blushed and said, "Oh my God… I am so humiliated Paul. How will I ever face any of them?"

Paul reassured her, "Shhhh. It's okay, I promise. No one thinks badly of you Bella. They all know that you are a virgin and that you and Jake have always been very close… it wasn't like you were a one night stand, you have both been connected to each other for a very long time. Please don't worry." The words that Paul said were honest and heartfelt but they also felt like pin pricks to his skin.

He wanted to beat the hell out of Jake or any man who had ever touched his imprint but he was sure that would hurt Bella and hurting her was unacceptable to Paul.

Paul continued, "Jake didn't want you to worry, so Embry talked to Jake and asked him to let me contact you. He wanted me to be there to encourage you during Jake's silence. Sam and Embry needed Jake to focus and they were hoping that if he didn't have to worry about you so much, maybe they could get him focused enough to train."

She asked, "So you were only my friend in the beginning because you were ordered to?"

Paul answered, "Of course not Vanilla Bean. You know that I told you before you left that I wanted us to be friends. I told you that I felt protective of you that night and gave you my cell number… do you remember? Thanksgiving night?" Bella nodded.

Paul continued, "I did it because I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to feel rejected. I didn't want you to feel alone. I wanted to spend any kind of time I could with you Bella. I was thankful when Embry asked me to help you through it. It gave me time to get to know you and that was what I wanted more than anything."

Bella touched Paul's cheek and he smiled. "Me too, Paul." She admitted.

He held her in silence again, this time for at least five minutes. She began with more questions.

"So, everyone has seen the intimate moments that Jake and I shared…" Bella paused.

Paul knew what she was thinking so he answered her question before she actually asked it. "No, Vanilla Bean. I have never let anyone see anything we have done in private. I respect you too much to share our personal business with anyone, even my brothers. I will do everything I can to keep those memories and any thoughts that I have away from them."

Embry knows that I love you and that we have been intimate before but I told him that, I have never shown him anything. Embry understands our relationship; I hope that you are okay with me talking to him about things concerning us… he is my best guy friend and I can him not to share anything with the rest of the pack… the only person he would tell is Angela. He and Angela are like you and I… they don't hide things from each other and Angela is a good person; he is lucky to have her. I would never say anything to disrespect you Bella, I promise."

Bella looked down and said, "It's okay. I don't mind you confiding to Embry."

Bella smiled and said, "Okay, Paul. I have more questions." She paused in thought and then pushed forward.

"You said that Sam forbid Jake to talk to me about any of this because they are tribal secrets?"

Paul nodded, knowing full well where she was going with this. She continued, "Why are you sharing the secrets with me? Are you breaking the rules confiding all of this into me Paul? I don't want you to get in trouble with Sam and Embry!"

He said, "I won't Vanilla Bean. I'm not forbidden from telling you the secrets."

With a look of concern she asked, "Why? Why are you any different from Jake?"

He hated the way that she said that but he understood what she meant by it.

This was it… he had to tell her but he had to make her understand why he needed for them to deal with this his way.

Paul just blurted it out, he felt it was the best way. "Because you are my imprint! As my imprint, you are part of the pack. That is why I am not only allowed, I am encouraged to share the pack secrets with you."

She asked the obvious question, "I'm your what?"

Paul replied, "You are my imprint… I imprinted on you Bella, my wolf imprinted on you."

With a look of confusion on her face she asked, "I don't understand what you are talking about Paul. What is an imprint?"

Paul answered, "It is hard to answer in a word, so I will try to describe it to you." Bella sat up and looked into his face. He placed his hand on her right cheek lovingly and kissed her nose before he began.

He explained, "I imprinted on you the night that you tripped on the beach. Our eyes met that night; I was helping you stand back up and get steady on your feet. When I imprinted on you my heart felt like it stopped and everything I thought I knew changed. The girls that I had been spending time with disgusted me... my behavior with them disgusted me. I knew in that moment that I would never go back to that life style. I knew that you would be the only woman in my life, ever again. I knew that the love I was experiencing for you was, is and always would be an all consuming kind of love, an extraordinary passion, an immediate connection that could never be altered. I immediately felt extremely protective over you. My wolf had chosen you to be his life long mate. You complete me and center me… I am more focused and grounded with you by my side. I could never exist without you Bella and wouldn't want to."

Paul stopped to observe Bella, he wanted to gage her expression. He could see that she was overwhelmed, but he felt she was doing well considering all that he was throwing at her in one morning. He continued, "The thought of another man touching you is incomprehensible to me. It took everything in my power not to kill Jake on the beach that night because I could smell him all over you and your sweet scent was all over him; and then I noticed it again on Thanksgiving night. I just knew that he had taken your virginity from you and I wanted to kill him Bella… I thought that I would but I stopped myself from contemplating that. I knew that it would hurt you greatly and I couldn't bare that. You see, a wolf can not stand to see his imprint in pain; he feels responsible for anything and everything that effects her negatively."

"When a wolf imprints, he basically claims his territory… he lets it be known that no wolf better ever think about going near his mate. There are 'imprinting powers' that affect his imprint. He can calm her, protect her, call to her so that she falls completely for him and never even considers being with anyone other than him. He claims the right to kill any wolf who tries to interfere with his imprint. With the powers he becomes one with her, in everyway. Their relationship becomes very sexual but at the core of it all is love and adoration. He lets his imprinting powers assemble a protective bubble around their relationship and his memories concerning other women from his past become very hazy."

As Paul was rattling all of this off, he was not really hearing his words but when he paused he realized that he had said more than he intended to in one breath. He knew that some of the things he said were going to be confusing for many reasons. He knew that Bella was smart and that she would not overlook his words or the red flags they threw. She would definitely have questions after all of the facts he gave her concerning imprinting.

Bella said, "Oh my goodness Paul. That is remarkable!"

Paul questioned her, "What? What are you saying?"

Bella answered, "It is amazing to me that your wolf can choose a mate for you and that your love for her is so passionate, adoring and possessive in equal parts… it is truly beautiful. Like you would give your life everyday for her… make her happy no matter what it takes."

With a look of concern she asked, "Are you glad that your wolf imprinted on me… did that make you happy?"

Paul answered, "Of course. I love you and I'm happy my wolf chose you Vanilla Bean."

She said, "I know that you love me Paul but what you are saying to me is a little confusing."

Paul asked , "Why?"

Bella answered, "Because, if everything you are describing is true, I don't believe your wolf would agree to let me figure things out with Jake. I don't think your wolf has laid down the law with Jake and I don't think he has used his powers to control my decisions or form a protective barrier around our relationship. Are you sure you actually imprinted on me Paul?"

Paul answered, "Yes, Vanilla Bean. I am positive!"

Bella didn't let up. "Then why?"

Paul interrupted, "Because, I have been fighting the imprint. I have not completely given into it."

Bella's heart rate increased dramatically and she began to hyperventilate.

Paul rubbed her back and said, "Shhhh, Vanilla Bean. It's not what you think. I love you honey… please, let me explain. Listen to my breathing and try to pace your breathing with mine. He placed her hand on his chest and she did as he asked.

Finally she said, "Please explain this to me Paul. Don't you want me? Don't you want us to be joined in this magical way? I don't understand why you would fight this… please help me understand and don't break my heart."

Paul asked himself, 'How will I ever help her understand why I would fight the imprint? She worries that I don't want her… I can't allow my imprint to feel rejected…'

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	17. Chapter 17

This chapter contains very mature materials so please, if you are to young (and you know who you are) don't read once they take their clothes off, then read the very end where it is Jake and Embry in wolf form.

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

GIVING HER A PIECE OF WHAT

SHE LONGS FOR…

'A LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT TOMORROW HOLDS'

Paul held her in his arms as he began explaining. "Bella, I believe my love for you began when we were in elementary school – the very first time that I saw you I was drawn to you and I didn't know anything about the pack at that time. Remember, I didn't transform until I was 16 and you can't imprint until after you go through the change." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"I have been honest with you about everything in my life. The only thing that I have ever kept hidden from you was this pack business. You know how my parents were and how my foster family was. No one ever chose to love me… ever… until you came into my life."

Paul was unsure how to explain all of this to Bella but he had to try.

"Bella. This is how the imprinting powers work. When you moved to Jacksonville you weren't really affected by it at all. Other than the dull ache in your stomach due to our separation, you really weren't affected by the pull of the imprint. So while we sent texts and talked over the phone we were truly getting to know one another and falling for each other on our own, without any influence from the wolf."

Still trying desperately to explain, Paul pushed forward. "You see, the further away you are from your imprint the less you are influenced by it. When you moved back, the pull increased. It's kind of like a magnet, when it is off by itself there is no pull but when you get it next to anything metal it is almost like a vacuum, hence the pull and the connection. However, what you are experiencing right now is still nothing compared to what it would be like if I let go of it completely and let the wolf have his way."

Paul took another deep breath. "The thing is… I fell in love with you Bella. As a man, I fell in love with you on my own, without the wolf. I sincerely care about your feelings and I understand that you have to take some time to deal with them. I respect you as a person and I trust that you will always put our friendship before anything else. I won't lie to you Vanilla Bean. It kills me that you have feelings for Jake but I understand. I'm willing to give you the time that you need to hopefully resolve your feelings for him. However, it is not a completely selfless act on my part because I need this too."

Bella asked, "You need what?"

Paul tries to explain. "You know how my biological parents and my foster parents were. Neither of them chose to love me willingly or otherwise. They made me feel unworthy of love. I had never truly been loved by anyone until you came into my life. You chose to love me on your own, without any influences. You loved me in spite of everything that I told you about myself. However, you still haven't chosen to love me and spend the rest of your life with me yet. You still haven't chosen me over Jake."

Paul needed to collect his thoughts enough to help Bella understand. "If I give into the imprint, it will take your choices away from you. You will automatically be so in love with me that you won't be capable of seeing anyone else. You could never look at Jake in the same way, ever again and my wolf would never allow him to come anywhere near you with the wrong intensions. If I gave into the imprint right now, I would never know whether you would have chosen me over Jake and I don't think that I could live with that. I need you to choose me of your own free will… not because you are affected by some wolfy imprinting powers. No one has ever chosen me before and I need that from you Bella. Please, try to understand."

Bella said, "Paul, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I could never imagine a life without you Paul. I'm choosing you. Just let go… let go of the imprint and let in consume us. I want that with you Paul."

Paul touched Bella's face and said, "I want everything with you too Vanilla Bean but I can't do that. Please, don't keep asking me to do that, because it is extremely difficult for me to say no to you. You are my imprint and I want to please you always. I don't know how many times I can refuse your request. Please, try to understand."

Bella said, "I understand Paul but if you do this for me, I won't have to go through this with Jake. I won't hurt you by exploring my feelings for him. Isn't it enough that I chose to love you with all of my heart on my own. I have never, nor will I ever love Jake like I love you. I know that and you know that! It would be unfair to Jake for me to choose him over you, knowing full well that I will always love you more… love you deeper. How is that fair?"

Paul answered, "It's not, but you are going to have to decide on your own. You are going to have to make that decision for yourself. I can't let my wolf make your decisions for you Bella… I won't. If you choose to be with me over Jake, I will turn loose… I will let the wolf take control and all the wonderfully magical effects of the imprint will be miraculous. Angela is Embry's imprint and what they have is untouchable".

Paul admits, "I'm not going to lie or even try to hide that it is very tempting to skip over this crap with Jake and get on with our lives but I won't do it. As soon as you choose though Bella we will experience the magic together, I promise."

Thankfully, she gave up the fight; at least for the time being. She asked. "So, last night when I was in so much pain… what was that?"

Paul answered, "I am holding on as tightly as I can but the fact remains I have imprinted on you and the wolf has partial control which means you do feel some of the wolf's pull. The pull is extremely difficult any time we are separated by short distances. Jacksonville is a long distance away but now you are back, it is way more difficult. I didn't mean to be gone so long. I got tied up with Embry discussing all of this with him and completely lost track of time. I let over three hours go by and that was a huge mistake on my part; I will never forgive myself for that and I promise you, it will never, ever happen again."

Bella nodded. She said, "I know Paul. I trust you."

Bella had another question and she was sporting an unmistakable smirk. Paul had no idea what it might be. She began, "So Paul? It takes less than two hours for me to feel extreme pain due to our separation. Does that mean you are going to sleep with me every night?"

Bella said this playfully, lifting her eyebrows up and down. It made Paul happy that she was lightening the mood a little.

Paul answered honestly, "Yes, Vanilla Bean. That is what it means. I will never allow you to feel that kind of pain again."

She asked, "Do you feel pain too?"

Paul answered, "Yes, but it doesn't affect me the same way. The wolf is strong and capable of handling great deals of pain so it isn't as hard on me. Once I let go and the imprinting powers are released, you won't be able to be apart from me for long at all. The pull will increase and you will probably only be able to last 45 minutes to an hour. After a while you will be able to stretch that time a little further but it will take some willpower on your part. That is one reason that Angela doesn't work a normal job; she likes to be home so Embry can stop in every hour or so." Paul paused in thought.

He continued, "You wouldn't believe how life is for Embry and Angela. You can't just barge into their house any time you want…their sexual appetite for each other is off the charts, they might have sex 3-5 times a day and that many more times at night sometimes. They walk around their house nude all the time; there is no wonder they can't stop."

Bella asked, "How do you know?"

Paul answered, "Well, Angela knows that Embry is her true mate and that their bond is unbreakable. She is not embarrassed about their relationship, she is proud of it so Embry doesn't hide it from us. It's not like he gives us visuals of them having sex or anything but he lets us know that she is more than pleased emotionally and sexually; and he makes damn certain that we all know that she is all his. He wouldn't share that with us if Angela wanted him to keep it private."

Paul laughed and then continued, "I walked into their house one time unannounced and they were having sex on the kitchen table; they were going at it like rabbits. Embry freaked out and beat my ass but Angela never flinched. She just doesn't have a bashful bone in her body… she fussed at Embry for freaking out on me but all he could hear Embry say was, "Well, that pervert won't barge in like that again… you can mark my words."

Paul added, "He is very protective of Angela and now I completely understand. He doesn't want any other man to see her naked, she is his and it's just not acceptable to him." Bella nodded in understanding.

She stood up and looked Paul over. She had forgotten that he didn't have any clothes on. She knelt in front of him and he embraced her. He practically growled as he spoke into her hair, "You smell so sweet when you're aroused Bella… it makes me want to do so many things to you and for you. When we finally make love, you will be more than pleased… I will make certain of that. We will have Embry and Angela beat, no problem." She smiled into Paul's neck.

Bella lifted her arms in the air and Paul gave her what she was silently asking for. He lifted her pajama top off of her and threw it to the side. She stood in front of him and tugged a little at her bottoms. Again, Paul conceded and gave her what she was asking for. He pulled her bottoms to her ankles and removed them as she lifted each foot. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to a nearby piece of grass. It was a little cool but for a December day it was unusually warm due to a warm front that had moved in. Paul wasn't worried anyway… heat radiated from his body and he knew that he could keep her plenty warm.

Paul laid her on her back and lifted her legs. Her heart began to race in anticipation, she knew exactly where this was headed. He placed her legs over his shoulders and dipped his nose into her sweetness. He stopped suddenly because he had something to explain to her and he needed to ask her a serious question.

He said, "Bella?"

She replied, "Yes, Paul?"

He continued, "I need to tell you something."

Bella nodded in encouragement. She felt like Paul was concerned, so she used the imprinting powers she knew she must have to calm him. He felt the effects she was having on him and he was able to continue calmly. His smile for her was a silent thank you and she smiled back at him. 

He said, "I need you to know that I don't think about things that I have done with other women in my past; what I mean is, I don't see them the way that I did… I only see you Bella. I remember things… acts I mean, but everything is becoming more and more vague to me when it comes to other women. I have no desire whatsoever to remember any of that anyway; I want only you in my thoughts. I just want to be certain that you are more secure because of my confessions… not insecure because of them. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

Bella placed her hands on Paul's cheeks and said, "Yes. I understand and I appreciate you telling me Paul. I'm not insecure about your past though and I don't worry about your thoughts. I know your heart and I trust you completely with mine."

"I want to ask you something Vanilla Bean."

Bella replied, "Okay."

Paul said, "We are beginning another aspect of our relationship right now… sexually I mean. I want to experience everything with you Bella… but I don't want anything that we do to scare you. You haven't been exposed to a lot of sexual things and I was hoping that it would be okay for me to walk you through some things so that you won't find them uncomfortable. Would be okay?"

Bella nodded and said, "I'm sure that it would help when it comes to certain things… I am feeling anxious."

Paul kissed her cheek and moved slowly to her jaw line… he knew exactly where he was going to take her today and he hoped that she was ready for it.

With Bella's legs placed over his shoulders he began to run his nose over her bare mound. He said, "I love that you are clean shaven Vanilla Bean, I'm not sure what made you do it but it is damn hot."

She smiled and simply said, "Google… you can pretty much find anything you want." Paul smiled in amusement but didn't say a word.

Paul whispered, "Bella, I have never smelled anything as sweet as this." He nudged her mound with his nose. "Your scent drives me absolutely crazy. You are aroused the majority of the time; you have a lot of sexual frustration built up and I am going to give you an incredible release today."

Bella knew that he could and he would; she was ready, she was more than ready.

She said, "It is amazing that you can smell like that Paul, however I'm still not sure how I feel about it."

Paul looked at her and said, "It is one of the best things about having impeccable senses. I love knowing when you are hot for me. I know exactly when you need to be touched. I can tell when your heart is beating rapidly for a good reason, or a bad reason. Which means I will know what you are ready for and what we need to wait on. It gives me insight so that I can please you better sexually and emotionally. I can tell when something is bothering you, even when you decide not to come out with it right in that moment, so later I can encourage you to open up to me.

My having flawlessly accurate senses will only benefit you, so please be comfortable with it. I will tease you mercilessly about it until you are comfortable with it Vanilla Bean; so get used to it." Bella smiled.

Paul said, "I'm going to make you have the most intense orgasm you have ever experienced."

Bella's legs were still over Paul's shoulders and his nose was resting on her mound as they talked, so she knew exactly what was coming next. She was a little nervous obviously but mostly she was excited… she wanted this, so badly. This would be one of many firsts for Bella but Paul knew she was ready. Paul placed a flat tongue on her core and ran it up to her clit. She shivered when he made his way to the spot that drove her crazy.

She asked, "What is that called, I never even knew about that spot until recently? I can't help myself now… when I am alone, in my room at night. I'm actually getting really good at it. Do you know what I am trying to say Paul?"

With a smile on his face Paul nodded into her mound but only said, "I do, Vanilla Bean." He touched his tongue on what he knew she was referring to and said, "You mean this? Bella nodded. Paul was glad she was asking what it was called because when she wanted something sexually, he wanted her to know how to ask for it.

Paul said, "Well, it's not the technical term but most people call it a clit." Bella nodded.

Paul ran is flattened tongue over her lips and back to her clit again. He sucked her lips into his mouth and said, "These are you lips…" He ran his tongue between her slick folds and said, "… and this is your cunt." He continued, "This entire area can be referred to as your pussy and this shaven area is your mound." She nodded. He paused and then said, "Those are the sexual terms but I think it is all beautiful and I adore every part of you Bella."

She ran her hands through Paul's hair and roughly pulled handfuls, causing his face to dig deeper into her cunt.

"Suck me Paul. Swallow my lips and put your tongue where you know I want it." Bella ordered.

Paul's eyes got as big as saucers and she smiled knowingly. Paul obeyed her commands and loved every second of it; he also loved her unexpected forwardness.

Bella began to moan loudly and she was moving her pelvis up and down into his face. He was as hard as a rock and wanted desperately to penetrate her and unload his seed into her. He wanted her to get pregnant and have his babies someday… he wanted everything with her.

He began to focus on her clit, starting in a slow circular motion with his tongue but then speeding up as her moans became louder and more frequent. He sucked her, wanting to swallow her fluids because he had been craving it ever since she got back to Forks.

He began with a constant movement over her clit, round and round then back and forth. Her breathing became more and more labored. She reached for his hand and he was certain that he knew where she was guiding it. He continued circling over her clit with his tongue and reached for her firm, perky breasts. He massaged a few times and then concentrated on her nipples, pressing firmly but not too hard as he moved them around in a circular motion; never missing one beat with his tongue. He seemed like an expert to her and she briefly appreciated the fact that he knew how to please her; however she didn't allow herself to think about how he had become an expert.

Paul was throbbing now, his erection was so hard he felt he might combust at any moment . He had never been so hard or so aroused in all of his eighteen, soon to be nineteen years; even though he had been aroused many times.

His wolf was dying to penetrate her and claim her as his own but he was in control and would remain so… at least for now.

Her climax began to build and it was in fact the most intense feeling she had ever experienced. Paul knew every button to push and her attraction to him was off the charts. As her climax began to climb he removed one of his hands from her breast and slipped a finger into her core. She immediately tensed so he breathed hot air over her mound and the heat immediately relaxed her. He had his index finger inside her and he gently pushed it in and out until she begged for a second finger. He exhaled his hot breath on her as he entered a second finger and she demanded that he pump it harder and faster. He obeyed, trying to push as far as he could to help prepare her for what he planned to put inside her in the near future.

Her climax peaked and he continued to pump as her orgasm began. He could feel her cream oozing around his fingers and noticed that it collecting at the base of them. Her moans were constant and so loud that he was certain his brother's could hear it and he thought that if Charlie was outside he could probably hear it with his ordinary human ears.

It was the loudest moan he had ever heard and the longest orgasm he had ever witnessed. Even the orgasm that he had accidentally witnessed Angela have was not as intense as Bella's and hers were off the charts. Paul had heard Angela's orgasms from a distance too many times to count.

Paul hadn't even penetrated Bella yet. When he finally did she was bound to wake up the bears hibernating for the winter.

When Bella finally came down from her high, he could see how exhausted she had become but he was not ready to allow sleep to take her. He crawled over her and got in her face.

He said, "I love you Vanilla Bean. How did that feel?"

She answered, "Like you have to ask."

He said, "Just humor me honey… I want to hear you say."

She said, "The feel of your hot mouth sucking me and your tongue caressing me was something beyond anything I have even read about before. Obviously, oral sex was something that I have never experienced. I have never felt anything like that before Paul. I have never had a climax go that high before or an orgasm that felt like jumping off a cliff with no ground in site; it was so long and so intense that I thought I might burst."

Bella's description was perfect and Paul loved every second of it. He didn't mention how loud she was because he loved that too and he didn't want her to feel self-conscious.

She added, "I'm sure that even you have never heard anyone moan so loudly… isn't that what you are thinking?"

Paul smiled and said, "Well, it's true… I don't think anyone in the history of orgasms has ever heard a moan that loud." He teased.

It was definitely funny but he preferred to drop that line of questioning; he still never wanted her thinking about his past. She sensed his feelings and understood.

She said, "I am ready for more Paul."

Paul smiled and said, "Really?" He was thrilled because he would love to make her orgasm all day and all night… he loved every single second of it.

She said, "I want to explore you Paul. I have seen you but I have never really explored or experienced you." Paul was still completely hard and throbbing with need.

Bella was on her knees now and she asked Paul to stand in front of her. She took hold of the backs of Paul's legs and pulled herself up enough to face his erection.

Paul could hear her beginning to hyperventilate so he said, "Shhhh, Vanilla Bean. Just breathe baby."

She nodded and slowed her breathing. She placed her lips around his thick head and sucked him. A growl came from him and he didn't even try to hold it back. He could feel her teeth graze over him as she grinned at what she was doing to him.

She said, "My wolf is wanting to come out and play Paul."

Paul never in a million years expected her to say that and he wondered if he had accidentally let go of the imprint a little; he wondered briefly if she was feeling the imprint more.

He said, "You have no idea Bella."

She replied, "Tell me what he wants from me Paul."

He answered, "He wants everything with you Bella. He wants to claim you for his own. He wants you to commit to him fully. He wants you to crave him as much as he craves you… every second of every day."

She surprised Paul when she said, "And… What else does he want Paul? What will he want to do when he claims me? What exactly does that entail Paul? Is there more to it than making love; is there more to it than just having sex?"

Paul couldn't believe her questions. Where were they coming from?

Paul asked, "Why are you asking me this Bella? Where are these questions coming from?"

She said, "You wanted to explain things to me as we go, so that I won't be afraid of anything as we do it. Don't you remember?"

Paul answered, "Yes, I remember. There are some things that I won't be able to explain before they happen though honey. You will just have to try and trust that I will always protect you and take care of you; you are precious to me Vanilla Bean. I am not letting my wolf loose today though, so he isn't going to be claiming anything today."

She became frustrated and said, "I know that Paul. It's all about Jake… I have to figure all of that out first… I get it!"

Paul said, "Don't be mad Vanilla Bean. I love you and I can not bear that."

She said, "I'm not mad. Lay down Paul!"

Paul laid down as he was told and Bella crawled between his legs, not feeling frightened in the least. She took him into her mouth and slowly let him go deeper and deeper down her throat. She sucked a little harder just like she had read about. Then she went a little faster. Believe it or not, Paul was expanding in her mouth. She never would have guessed he could have become even more erect.

She reached around and grabbed his ass causing another growl to escape from his chest. She looked up at him. His head was back and his eyes were squeezed tightly together.

Her mouth was full so in a muffled voice she said, "Look at me Paul."

Paul looked up and she said, "Just so I know what to ask for next time I want it… give me the sexual terms"

The naming of body parts had almost become a playful game to Bella, and Paul was happy to play it with her.

Looking directly into Paul's eyes, she sucked the end, placing her lips around it. He said, "Good gosh Bella. That is my head."

She let the rest of him slide down her throat. He said, "That is my shaft. Do you really want to hear the other terms Bella?"

She nodded and grinned deviously. "Yes Paul. Come on...out with them."

He complied, "Okay, if you say so. Some people call it a dick or a cock."

She nodded and said, "I thought so… I read some of that on Google too."

Paul laughed and said, "Well, aren't you the little researcher." She laughed.

Bella touched him underneath and looked up at him. He answered, "My balls or sack." She nodded.

Bella began to suck Paul in and out of her mouth, letting it go further and further down her throat each time, never gagging once.

She looked up at him and said, "I wondered."

He asked, "You wondered what?"

She replied, "On Google it said that there weren't a lot of women who could take a man this deep in her throat, to where his head is touching the very back of her throat and never gag. It is called, 'Deep throat' and I wondered if I would be able to do it."

Paul smiled up into the sky and said, "Yes Vanilla Bean… you absolutely are gifted in that area… lucky for me."

Bella continued like an expert and each time he hit the back of her throat with his sensitive head he climbed a little higher until he started saying, "Get off baby… I'm fixing to…"

Bella interrupted and said, "It's okay Paul… let it go."

With Bella's words of consent ringing in his ears, Paul let loose. He released over a months worth of sexual frustration. He hadn't had sex in over a month and he had only masturbated about once a week… just enough to keep himself from going crazy with withdraw. He knew that he wasn't going to have sex again unless it was with Bella; he wouldn't even fool around with anyone other than Bella and when he masturbated he would only think of Bella. He was forever tied to her and happy to be.

Bella massaged his balls lightly as he released his hot semen into her mouth. Lifting his pelvis off the ground, Paul began thrusting himself down her throat with ever contraction he felt. His orgasm was amazing and he had never felt more content.

Paul felt like an animal out in the woods and it seemed as though Bella was feeling a little animalistic herself. Paul rolled on top of her and slid his finger inside her cunt… pushing as far as he could until he felt what he knew was the proof of her innocence. He rubbed it with his finger tip, making her even more hot for him. He knew the next request was coming.

She said, "Paul, I love you."

He said, "I love you too Vanilla Bean."

She said, "Let's just go ahead and make love… I desperately need you inside me. Just a little bit Paul, I need to feel you inside me, even if it's only a little bit."

Paul answered, "Not yet honey… we have discussed this already baby."

She said, "I know Paul… please, don't make me beg… it's humiliating!"

Paul replied, "Bella…" There was a long pause and Bella knew that he was considering it… or at least she hoped that he was.

Finally he said, "Lay there and don't move. If you move I might not be able to stop Bella and I really don't want that to happen. Will you try to lay still?"

Bella nodded and Paul climbed on top of her; she had her hands placed on his rock hard chest and Paul could feel that her arms were trembling in anticipation. Paul knew exactly how she felt because his legs were shaking noticeably as he supported himself over Bella; he knew that it had nothing to due with exhaustion because he felt that he could have lasted until the next morning. He straddled her and placed his erection between her legs, letting it rub over her lips with each movement. He opened her lips with his fingers to see how wet she was and she was oozing with sweet cream just as he expected.

"You smell so sweet and musky baby… you are killing me. I promise you Vanilla Bean… I want it all with you." He admitted.

He was sliding over her lips but he didn't penetrate her. He let his cock slip between her slick folds and slipped back and forth over the place that he knew she wanted him to enter. Her clit was rubbing on his base and he was hoping desperately that he was fixing to give her another amazing orgasm.

Jake (wolf form) jumped out of the woods and was headed towards them. Even though Paul hadn't actually penetrated her, she still began experience the strongest climax of the morning and she was completely oblivious to what was going on around her… she was moaning so loudly that she couldn't hear a thing and she had her eyes squeezed extremely tight so she obviously couldn't see anything that was going on around her. Oblivious to Bella, Paul stood up and began to shake where he stood, he moved a safe distance away from Bella and started to phase. About that time Embry (wolf form) came out of the forest and pounced on Jake. They fought back and forth and it caught Bella's attention.

Paul knew that Embry had it under control but Paul was pissed and he wanted desperately to phase and beat Jake's ass for coming out when he and his imprint were sharing such an intimate moment together. Paul most definitely would make him pay for it. Paul looked over at Bella and she was shaking from head to toe… clinging to cover her body.

At the sight of Bella, Paul completely put his thoughts of kicking Jake's ass out of his mind so that he could focus solely on her; he picked her up in his arms and grabbed her pajamas. He took her behind a more wooded area and helped her put them on. He covered her entire face in kisses and told her that everything was going to be fine. He looked over at Jake and Embry. He wasn't certain exactly what Embry was saying to Jake but he had an idea.

Bella looked up with tears of humiliation and fear rolling down her cheeks. She asked the obvious question, "Who were those wolves? Was Jake one of those wolves Paul?

Touching her cheek with the back of his fingers Paul answered, "Yes, Vanilla Bean. I'm sorry."

She replied, "No, Paul. I'm sorry. I'm ready to leave now. Can we go back to your house instead of mine?"

Paul said, "Of course. We'll have to get my car from your house and a change of clothes for you and we can go. We don't even have to stay at your house long enough for you to change. Just grab your clothes, I'll get mine and we are out of there."

Bella said, "Thanks Paul."

Paul phased, Bella got on and they headed back to the Swan resident.

Jake and Embry… wolf form:

Jake: What in the hell is he doing with her? He has no right Embry!

Embry: Yes, he does Jake. He does have a right! He is her best friend and she loves him as more than that. Paul loves her too Jake. You are going to have to accept that.

Jake: The hell I will! I don't have to accept anything. I won't!

Embry: Did you hear Bella refusing him? I know you were listening.

Jake: Complete silence

Embry: No. She wasn't refusing him… she was begging him to make love to her and he was the one holding back.

Jake: Complete silence

Embry: You had no business spying on them like that. It is an invasion of Bella's privacy and you should be ashamed.

Jake: I should be ashamed? That is my girl friend Embry. Why should I be ashamed when that man whore is sleeping with my girlfriend. This is fucked up Embry!

Embry: Paul isn't 'sleeping' with your girlfriend. Bella is still a virgin Jake.

Jake: Maybe technically but did you hear all of those orgasms Embry. That man whore is back to it and he is back to it with my girlfriend; I'm going to kill him.

Embry: Paul has changed Jake. It isn't like that at all. I can't explain it all to you right now but I know for a fact that it isn't the way you think it is. You are not going to try to kill him Jake… if you ever want to see her or anyone else again, you will learn to control yourself.

Let me ask you something Jake. Did you and Bella make any commitments before she left? Did you talk to her about not drawing any lines, just in case? Who's idea was it not to draw lines Jake?

Jake: Embry, you need to stay the hell out of my head. You don't have to nose around in my head and then throw things in my face.

Embry: Jake. Get the hell out of here. Get your ass back to my house. Phase back and wait on me! Stay outside… I don't want you around Angela right now. You are completely out of control!

Jake didn't argue, he looked up toward where Paul and Bella were and saw that they had left the area. He huffed, turned around and raced as fast as he possible could back to Embry's place.

Trust me girls… Jake is not out of the picture! You are going to see more of him and just when you think you have figured out who Bella has chosen something will happen and you won't be so sure you were right. That might happen a couple or three times. Hang in there. I will try to post the chapters a little faster because there are so many who are anxious about the outcome.

She will choose eventually. I have always known who she would choose! Just remember… we can't all get what we hope for.

I love these guys though and in the end of this story… which there will probably be a sequel… these guys will find happiness and their lives will go FULL CIRCLE!

Love ya'll!

What do you all think?

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN?

LET ME KNOW!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

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Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	18. Chapter 18

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

'Privacy in the Pack?'

As soon as Paul and Bella made it back to the forest's edge, Paul laid down and let Bella climb off. She stood over to the side, giving him the room he needed to phase back into human form. Paul stood in front of her completely nude and perfectly beautiful. She had just gone through an emotional rollercoaster it seemed, but looking at Paul in that moment made her feel very content and privileged that his wolf had chosen to protect and love her. Paul was her best friend, but he was so much more than that. She had a lot of emotions to work through but she knew that Paul would always be there for her; she would never, ever have to handle anything on her own.

Paul walked up to Bella and reached for her hand, he pulled her toward him and held her other hand as well. He looked down at her and asked, "Are you okay Vanilla Bean?" Bella nodded but still didn't say a word. He rubbed one of her cheeks with the backs of his fingers, trying his best to give her the silent look of encouragement he knew she desperately needed.

Paul lifted Bella into his arms, carried her to the back of her house and onto her back porch. He knew for a fact that there wasn't a sole anywhere near her house or even within a quarter of a mile from them so he wasn't concerned about who they might run in to. Bella didn't worry because she understood Paul's abilities and trusted him more than anyone in the world.

Bella was upstairs filling a small suitcase with all her things, but still couldn't seem to bring herself to speak a word about anything that had transpired that morning or how it made her feel.

While upstairs she decided to pack some undergarments, PJ'S, a few casual changes of clothes, a pair of jeans, a skirt, sweater and some hair essentials. She also put together a travel bag of toiletries including makeup, razor, tampons and medicine she might need doses of. She knew that she was grabbing more than a change of clothes, as she had originally planned to, but she decided that she wanted to leave some of her things at Paul's house. She didn't want him to have to drive her between her house because she didn't have what she needed. She thought it would be much easier, as she knew she never seemed to want to leave Paul's side; which was good, because it would become too physically painful to be away from him for a long period of time anyway.

It seemed Bella never had her truck with her because she and Paul were always together. If he did have something to do he would just leave and be back within thirty minutes or so. She knew that Paul didn't think he could protect her or take care of her properly if they weren't together. He would always worry that something would happen that would prevent him from making it back to her and it would cause her pain again… he would never forgive himself if that happened. He also knew that Charlie felt better when she was with him and he didn't want Charlie to worry.

She came downstairs carrying her things, practically stumbling down the stairs when Paul appeared to help her. He grabbed everything she had in her arms with ease. She couldn't help noticing the smile he was trying to hide when he saw all that she had packed but he didn't say a word. Bella still hadn't changed and she wasn't planning to before they left. All she wanted to do right then was get to Paul's house where they could be by themselves. Paul didn't mention it, he knew what she wanted and it was fine with him. Paul was dressed and ready to go.

On the drive back to La Push, Paul held Bella's hand in silence. The only words that were spoken was Paul telling her that she looked beautiful, he had told her that even first thing in the morning she was a hot, sexy mess. Bella grinned and said, "I really do love you Paul." She squeezed Paul's hand and watched the trees blur as they passed by her window; they were nearly at Paul's house by then.

Paul got out, opened Bella's door for her, grabbed her things and scooped her up in a swift motion hoping to get a squeal out of her. In the past little bit things between the two of them had become very serious, granted there were some very serious issues at hand and in a way their relationship felt like it was in limbo, but it wasn't like they were breaking up. Regardless of what decisions she made, they would always be in love, even if it was just a friendship… either way, Paul never wanted to lose the playful relationship that they had formed over the past month.

He wasn't going to lie to himself though, if she chose to be with Jake it would kill him, but he would remain her best friend and he would remain celibate because he could never imagine being with anyone other than her.

He put her down when they reached the front door, he unlocked it and they walked in. She immediately flew up to his bedroom and into his bathroom taking her bathroom bag with her. She left the door ajar to help with the steam that would collect in the bathroom which would completely fog the mirror, even though the vent would be running.

She washed her hair and then put conditioner in it. She left the conditioner in while she washed her body. She shaved her legs and her private area; she enjoyed being hairless and she knew that it drove Paul crazy. She cried a little but didn't spend time focusing on that. She got out, dried her body and her hair with a towel. She was emotional exhausted and didn't have the energy to blow her hair dry and she didn't want to put any clothes on either, so she wrapped in a towel and walked out into Paul's bedroom. She was sitting on Paul's bed when he walked in.

When Paul looked and saw Bella, he walked by and grabbed a brush from the top of his dresser. He sat beside her on his bed and pulled her into his lap and began brushing her hair. She still hadn't spoken a word and Paul was beginning to worry. He didn't have a clue what was going on in her mind and that was something that he had never experienced with Bella…ever! She never held back what she was thinking. She had always been an open book to him and it went both ways.

Bella climbed out of Paul's lap causing his heart to begin racing. She stood in front of him and placed her tiny hands on either side of his face, mindlessly allowing her towel to fall to the floor. She stood before him naked, feeling completely comfortable in her own skin. Bella let her hand slide from Paul face to his neck and down to his chest. She could feel that his heart rate had increased which caused her to look up at him. She whispered, "It's going to be okay Paul… I will be fine, I promise."

Paul nodded silently… he was concerned only about her.

Bella continued, "I really would like to take a nap right now."

Paul said, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Bella replied almost too quickly. "No! I don't want you to leave me. I want you to take one with me. Can you?"

Paul replied, "Of course. I never want to leave you Vanilla Bean."

Paul pulled the covers back for her and she slipped in. Paul went around to get in on the other side. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled in. Bella faced him and tugged at them to tell him she didn't want them there. Paul obeyed her silent request and pulled them off and threw them on the floor.

Bella turned her back against Paul, her wet hair in his face and he loved it. He spooned her laying his arm over her and finding a home between her breasts. Within minutes they were asleep. About an hour had passed when Paul heard a light knock at the door. He slipped out of his bed and threw his clothes on, noticing the emptiness he felt not having Bella's body against him. He tucked the cover around Bella to keep the warmth around her. He turned the bedroom fireplace on low to help her sleep well and descended the stairs to answer the door.

When he opened the door, he was glad to see that it was Embry. Paul really needed to talk to him.

"Hey Em." Paul said.

Embry answered, "Hey. I'm sorry to interrupt; I tried to be quiet so that Bella wouldn't hear me. Is she asleep?"

Paul replied, "Yes, but you didn't disturb her. She's really tired."

Embry smiled and said, "I bet she is!" A quiet laugh followed.

Paul slapped Embry and said, "Watch it Embry!"

Embry laughed and said, "You know I am kidding. Really though, is she okay?"

Paul answered honestly, "Well, she really hasn't spoken yet other than to tell me that she wanted a nap. She took a shower and crawled into bed. She wanted me to sleep with her; I just woke up when I heard you knock. Come on in for a few minutes."

Paul knew that he would know by Bella's breathing when she was beginning to wake up so they would be able to talk freely.

Embry came in.

Paul asked, "Do you want a drink? I'm going to have a Dr. Pepper."

Embry nodded and Paul handed him a bottle before he got his.

They began their conversation:

Embry: So… I assume you told Bella about the imprint and explained it to her.

Paul: Yes, I did.

Embry: How did she react? Was she accepting of it?

Paul: Yes. It took some convincing to make her understand my reasons for fighting the pull though. At first she was offended, like I didn't want her or something. The gist of it is that I explained that I needed her to choose me over Jake on her own without the pull of the wolf. She begged me to let the imprint take over and work it's magic on us, but I told her that I just couldn't. I also told her that I didn't want to go all the way with her until she had made her decision.

That was a hard request, but I have my reasons and I feel very strong about it. Besides, if I were to give into my need for her, I wouldn't be able to hold on any longer... I would give in to the pull. It is already impossibly difficult; we are so incredibly close that we can't help being extremely intimate with one another, you have witnessed that already.

Paul increased his voice…

BY THE WAY… WE ARE EVEN NOW! NOTICE THAT I'M NOT KICKING YOUR ASS FOR WALKING IN ON BELLA AND I. YOU DID TAKE CARE OF JAKE FOR ME, SO I GUESS I OWE YOU. REGARDLESS, WE ARE STILL EVEN AND I UNDERSTAND NOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE ANOTHER MAN ANYWHERE NEAR HIS IMPRINT IN THAT WAY.

Embry nodded and Paul continued.

Paul: Today could have ended so a hell of a lot worse if you hadn't showed up… thanks brother!

Embry: You would have done the same for me.

Paul nods.

Embry: Was it hard to tell Bella no when she asked you to let go of the imprint? Don't you think that you should? She already chose to love you on her own Paul… can't you live with that?"

Paul: No. She has to choose for herself. An extremely large part of me wants to let it go, but I can't. She has got to choose me over Jake on her own. I'm not going to let the wolf take her choices away from her and completely alter her feelings for Jake. I can't do that and I would appreciate it if you would both stop asking me to do that. I am sick and tired of explaining my reasonings all the time… just accept that this is my decision to make… okay?

Embry: Okay. Okay! I won't ask again. I get it… you have made up your mind.

I haven't told Jake about the imprint yet. I didn't know if you wanted him to know yet. I haven't told anyone except Angela of course. She is excited for you by the way.

Paul tried to smile and wondered if Embry really would lay of and respect his wishes.

Embry: I wasn't sure if you wanted Sam to know yet either. It is your call. Eventually, we will have to share this with him though.

Paul: I want to wait a little while longer before I tell Sam. I don't think that I will need much time before I can be honest with him.

As far as Jake is concerned… I do not under any circumstance want Jake to know about this. It might affect Bella's choice… I don't know how Jake might react if he knows. Bella knowing about it is bad enough because it may alter her choices; she is already trying to ignore feelings for Jake that I know she has had for years… I don't want her knowing to sway her because she knows that dealing with her and Jake for the rest of my life would eventually kill me. I have to trust that our friendship is strong enough that she will believe that I truly want her to do whatever will make her the happiest no matter how hard it will be for me.

Embry: You are a better man than I could ever be Paul. I don't know where your strength of character comes from; I swear I don't.

Paul: I don't look at it that way. It is a bit selfish on my part if anything, because I need her to want me and choose me so desperately. I am basically making her do this, knowing that she doesn't want to. How is that being the better man? Strength of character?… I don't think so.

I just want this shit over! I need Bella in my life… she has changed me. Imprinting on her has calmed me; I have never had patience before… ever! I have stayed pissed at the world for years, never letting a soul in because I couldn't trust anyone. She has given me something to care about; someone to love. Deep inside I know that I am probably still a prick, but I want to make her proud and I want to be the man she deserves, so I won't revert back to the old Paul. I will spend the rest of my life being the best I can be for her. The change hasn't been difficult for me; it has happened naturally and I welcome it; I have never felt more at ease. But like I said… I need this to be part of our past, because I'm not sure how mush longer I can bare the uncertainty of what our future holds.

Embry: It's just a risk that I couldn't take but I will try to support you.

Paul: I know that she will always be a part of my life. We will always be best friends no matter what she chooses. I will just have to learn to be whatever she needs me to be for her.

Another thing… I need you to run Jake. Do whatever you can to calm him down. I can't imagine how he feels. I am pissed at him for barging in on us and for feeling like he has a claim on my imprint, but I also understand… he loves her and technically she hasn't 'broken up' with him… she has just let him know that she loves me too and she hasn't decided what she wants yet. He has a right to feel the way he feels. I can't worry about him though; I have enough to deal with on my own.

He needs to be at the bonfire tonight. He and Bella are going to have to begin interacting. I don't want to wait to get this process moving along; it has to start tonight. Tell Sam everything if it is the only way he will let Jake come tonight. Do what you have to do… just get him there. Jake has got to be there tonight Embry!

I don't think that we will be able to help you and Angela today like I thought we would.

Embry: Don't worry about it. I will be sure he gets to the bonfire somehow. I think that he will want to come so that he can see Bella again anyway.

Paul's hair stood up all over his body and Embry knew it. They both chose to ignore it.

Paul: Good. I will prepare Bella and we will be there too.

Embry: Don't worry about helping. Angela will understand. She was looking forward to getting to know Bella but they will have plenty of time for that. Leah is helping her tonight with the food and I will have Jared and Quill to help me set up.

Sam will show up a little early to help with the lights and I told him that I would introduce him to Leah. They have known of each other for years and he has always thought she was pretty but they haven't been introduced. He is twenty-two but now that Leah has graduated from high school, he thinks the age difference won't seem so different and he really wants to meet her officially.

Paul: That sounds good! I'm glad you will have help today because I really need to be alone with Bella for a while. I hope Sam has good luck with Leah. I think that she has kind of had her eye on Jake but an older guy might turn her eye pretty quick. Especially since Jake has been making it known that it is not happening between the him and Leah. Who knows… Jake ignoring Leah might make her more interested in Sam. That girl needs to find someone special… she has been partying a little too hard lately.

Embry: I know what you mean. I'd like to see Sam settle down and be happy with someone too.

By the way, Collin and Brady phased last night; you know the fifteen year old twins that go to La Push with Seth. Sam has been working with them all night and all day. They are doing amazing. They were very mellow teenagers; I guess they made mellow wolves. Sam is going to let them come to the bonfire tonight. Can you imagine that? None of us could have done that!

Paul: Wow! They must really be doing well. Maybe hearing the stories all their lives has helped them. They always seemed to believe the legends somehow. The rest of us never did until it was shoved in our faces. You know?

Embry nodded.

Paul looked up toward his room. Embry knew that Paul really wanted to get back to Bella, so he said that he needed to get back to Angela too. She would be feeling the pull pretty strongly in ten or fifteen minutes. Paul nodded knowingly. They said their good-byes and Embry left.

Paul and Embry silently appreciated the fact that they were not alone anymore as far as 'imprinting' was concerned. Now they had someone who could completely understand what was going on with the other. It was comforting.

When Paul reached the top of the stairs he saw Bella sitting up in his bed, she was yawning and stretching with her eyes completely closed. She was sitting Indian style in the center of his bed, completely nude and making no effort to try and cover herself; she was perfectly comfortable with Paul and he loved that about them.

He smiled at her and said, "Hey Vanilla Bean."

She returned his smile and said, "Hey Paul."

He said, "Come with me… I have something to show you."

Bella climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom, Paul followed her and saw that she was reaching for his robe on the back of the door.

He said, "No! Don't wear anything. The blinds are closed…you don't need clothes."

She looked down at him and he realized what she was saying. He had dressed when Embry came over so she was basically telling Paul to undress again. Paul undressed and Bella couldn't help noticing the sexy smirk on his face.

Paul picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and carried her down stairs. He popped her on the butt on the way down and she rewarded him with a squeal. "Ouch Paul! I'm going to get you back for that…mark my words!"

Paul smiled; he loved her feistiness.

When Paul got downstairs he threw Bella on his couch and began to tickle her relentlessly until she couldn't breath. Bella wrapped her legs around Paul's waist and her arms around his neck. They began to kiss passionately until Bella's breath was so labored that Paul needed to release her enough for her to catch her breath, however he never lost physical contact with her.

When Bella got her breath back she said, "Did you have something to show me?"

He nodded and pulled a photo album off a shelf in the living room. He began to flip through it and finally found the photo he was looking for.

He said, "I was looking through this the other day and I noticed a picture. It is a picture of us that was taken when I was fifteen and you were only twelve. I remember when it was taken, but I never spoke to you that night. I remembered you from Fork's but I didn't want to say anything because I knew that you were there with Jake. I was alone that night and it was about four months before I phased. I guess it was the last time I remember seeing you until I imprinted on you at the beach a month ago. I had forgotten about that night until I saw this picture.

Bella took the photo album from him and noticed that it was a snapshot. The only two people in the picture was her and Paul. Bella was sitting on a log looking to her right and Paul was several feet behind her sitting on a different log facing the camera with a huge, beautiful smile on his face.

Bella said, "I remember seeing you that night. I stared at you for a while thinking that you looked familiar, but I couldn't place you. You were so handsome but I was sure you didn't even notice that I existed. Like you said, I was only twelve and you were fifteen, which seemed like a huge difference in age back then. You had your eyes on much older girls than me at the time. You were probably 6'2" already; buff and beautiful…way out of my league."

She sat in thought for a minute before adding, "I love this picture Paul. I think we should blow it up and frame it. We will also blow up a recent picture of us and frame. Then and now pictures… what do you think?"

Paul smiled and said, "I love it!"

Paul suddenly became serious.

Bella asked, "What? What is it Paul?"

Paul hesitated and then responded, "Baby, we still haven't talked about what happened this morning. We have always been able to talk about anything and I don't want us to ever lose the ability to be honest and open with each other. I want you to always be able to be honest with me about your feelings. I am your friend first Bella and I respect all of your feelings… even if they are painful for me. I find comfort in them because you love me enough to be honest with me always. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Bella nodded.

She took a breath and tried desperately to get her thoughts together… she was still feeling overwhelmed by everything.

She began, "I will always be honest with you Paul… I promise. Honestly, I am feeling extremely overwhelmed right now. I have had a tremendous amount of information to absorb today and some of it has been unbearably hard to imagine."

She looked into Paul's face to read his expression but all that she saw there was comfort.

She continued, "I really wish that you would just turn loose of the imprint and let the wolf take over. You already know that I love you more deeply than I could ever love another living soul… including Jake. It just happened that way Paul… we grew in love and it was out of our control. I understand though and I will not push you to alter your decision."

Paul kissed her on the forehead and with a tremendous amount of relief and said, "Thank you Bella."

Bella nodded and continued, "When I opened my eyes and saw those two wolves in our presence it freaked the shit out of me. Then humiliation came over me, not only had they seen me completely nude, they had also witnessed me having an orgasm right there in the open grass."

Bella shuddered right there in front of Paul and it made him feel sick to his stomach. Paul hated that his brothers had witnessed his imprint like that but more than that he hated it for her because he didn't want her to feel regret or shame because they had shared something so intimate with one another.

Paul reached for her hands and said, "I'm sorry Bella. I hate more than anything that it happened but please don't regret what we did… it was the best morning of my life. I loved being so intimate with you and right out there in the open… in the wild. It felt perfect to me."

Bella told Paul that she didn't regret it and that it had been the most perfect thing she had ever experienced. She had more to say on that subject but she would wait for a less serious time to tell him about that.

She said, "Then, when I realized that one of those wolves was Jake it broke my heart because I do love Jake and I didn't want to hurt him that way. I certainly didn't want him to find out about us like he did. Please understand and don't be mad at me for feeling that way."

Paul said, "I'm not mad at you Bella. I understand you not wanting to hurt Jake and why you would have preferred him to find out about us differently; that is one of the things I love so much about you. You have a huge heart. I hate that he found out that way too; I don't hate Jake… he is my brother. I hate him being near you but I don't hate him."

Bella asked, "Why did he come out like that?"

Paul growled and said, "Jake heard you. You had three or four orgasms by then and he evidently heard them all. He must have thought that we were having sex and he couldn't stand it any longer… he was coming out to kick my ass. I'm sorry Bella."

Bella began to hyperventilate but she stopped herself by placing her hand on Paul's bare chest and focused on the beating in his chest.

She said. "Oh my gosh… was he spying on us?"

Paul clinched his teeth and answered, "Well, he was listening but in his defense, I'm sure that it was difficult for him not to hear us Bella. Remember what I told you about a wolf's senses. Bella nodded but didn't even want to think about what Jake must have been smelling as well. The fact was that it was over and done with now…she couldn't change that fact so there was no use dwelling on it.

She asked, "Who was the other wolf and why was he there?"

Paul answered honestly. "That was Embry. He knew what was going on too but he was trying to give us privacy. When Embry realized what Jake was doing he came to stop him. Embry already knew that I had imprinted on you and he knows that I didn't want Jake or anyone else to know about it yet. He was doing it to help me and protect you because Jake's wolf is still out of control."

Bella said, "Did the rest of the pack hear me too?"

Paul said, "No, but by now I am sure they have all witnessed it through Jake's thoughts. I'm sorry Bella but in pack life it is very difficult to keep things private. A full grown wolf can manage to hide things if he really works at it but if you let one vision slip then all the other wolves can witness it though that wolf and the secret no longer exists. It is something you will have to accept I'm afraid. I'm sorry Vanilla Bean… I wish it could be different. I will always do my best to keep our intimate moments private Bella and anything Embry knows he will hide it just like I do when it comes to him and Angela. Embry manages to keep his and Angela's intimate moments private for the most part. Like I said, she is not bashful about their sex life but Embry is understandably possessive when it comes to Angela and things that only he should be privy to."

Bella said, "Okay. I want to be part of your life so I will get used to the idea. I just need a little time."

Paul gave her an understanding smile and waiting for her to continue.

She asked, "Does Jake know that you imprinted on me?"

Paul said, "No, he doesn't know and I don't want him to know yet."

She said, "Okay. Is he still coming to the bonfire tonight?"

Paul answered, "Yes. Embry came over while you were still asleep and he said that he would do whatever he needed to do to get Jake ready to see us tonight. I told him that you and Jake needed to begin to interact with one another tonight. I don't want this to last forever Vanilla Bean. The sooner you and Jake can talk, the better."

Bella knew exactly what he was saying and she knew how difficult this was going to be for Paul. It sucked but he was insistent on her exploring her feelings and making her own decision. She would change that in a second if she could, but only he had that power to do that and it was the one thing that he was not willing to give her.

Bella said, "I need to go to the grocery store."

Paul said, "Okay. What do you need to get?"

Bella replied, "I'm going to get what I need to make several pans of brownies to take to the party tonight. I would also like to get enough groceries so that I can cook supper for us for several nights. Would that be okay?"

He replied, "Of course Bella. Whatever you want."

Bella thought for a minute. She said, "I've been thinking about something Paul."

Paul was quiet but let her know with his eyes that he was listening intently.

She continued, "I don't know how I am going to manage it but I really want to spend some of my nights here with you Paul instead of at my house. I don't know how I will ever get my dad to agree to that though."

Paul wasn't sure but if that was what she wanted he would try to figure out a way to make that happen. She was a senior in high school… maybe Charlie wouldn't be as strict as she thought he would.

Paul said, "Let me think about it Vanilla Bean. We'll figure something out; don't worry."

Hmmmmm… what now?

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

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Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	19. Chapter 19

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

'A MAN TO MAN TALK WITH THE CHIEF'

Bella told Paul that she was going to get a shower and get ready so they could go to the grocery store. Paul said that he would be ready when she was.

She said, "You can come take a shower with me if you want." She grinned playfully and he knew exactly what she was hoping for.

He said, "Go ahead and get started and I will be in soon… I promise."

She said, "Okay. Don't be long!"

Paul let her get in the bathroom and get in the shower before he made his way upstairs. He wanted to clean out half of his dresser drawers and half of his closet for her so that she would have a place for her things. He also cleared out a cabinet and a drawer in the bathroom so that she would have a place for her things. He wanted her to feel like she belonged there. He knew that she wasn't moving in yet but he still wanted her to consider herself at home whenever they were together.

He got her suit case and began filling her closet, dresser drawers, bathroom drawers and bathroom cabinet for her. He knew that she wouldn't mind that he did this for her, so he wanted to surprise her. When he unpacked her tampons and put them in the cabinet, her presence there became very real to him. He briefly wondered when she was expecting her period, but he guessed he would know soon enough. She had mentioned the cramps that she was having last month while she was on her period and he thought that she should start again probably sometime next week.

He began thinking about her wanting to stay part of the time at his house and what he could do to make that happen for her. He decided that honesty was always the best policy so he decided that while Bella was doing the grocery shopping, he would pay Charlie a visit at the station. He figured a man to man talk with Charlie was what he should do. He knew that Charlie liked him so maybe he could get him to agree if he went to him responsibly. He hoped that it wouldn't backfire because if he didn't agree to it, he would become very suspicious and cautious of them, which would cause him to watch them more closely. Paul really didn't want that to happen.

Paul went in the bathroom, undressed and got in the shower with Bella. He pressed the front of his body against her backside and slipped his arms around her waist.

He whispered into her hair, "Did you miss me Bella?"

She answered honestly, "Yes Paul."

In a low growl he added, "I can smell what I do to you Vanilla Bean. I have never smelled anything so amazing in my entire life."

She said, "I just want you all the time Paul. I'm becoming addicted to you…it is a desperate need Paul and I don't know how long I can stand not having all of you."

Paul's eyes rolled up in his head as he listened to her speak freely about her need for him. He felt exactly the same way and it took everything in his power, every damn second of the day and night, not to take her and give her what they both desperately wanted.

Paul's erection had grown and it began to throb, it was pressing against her back while his thighs rubbed against her backside causing both of their legs to tremble with need. Bella placed her hand on the shower tile in front of her and bent over giving him access to enter her or do anything else he wished. She silently prayed he would give in to the access she was giving him but she knew that he wouldn't.

He reached around her, holding her breasts in his hands and began rubbing her nipples. His knees were bent now and his erection was slipping between her legs and with each of his movements she could feel him graze over her lips just like he had done while they were in the woods near the pond that morning. His right hand reached down and found her clit and he began to proficiently rub it between his index finger and thumb.

Bella's climax began to build and as it did she squeezed his erection between her legs. She began to slap her ass on him grabbing his shaft tightly between her legs and pulling it with each fluid motion. Just as the colors began to burst behind her eyelids, she felt him begin to shoot his hot fluids with her, he was twitching between her legs and she had never been happier. His hot fluid felt amazing running down her legs and all she could think about was how it would feel shooting into her core someday, hopefully soon.

Bella's legs began to give way and Paul caught her knowingly around her waste, supporting her as he always does. He turned her to face him and held her tightly whispering how much he loved her and how she would always be it for him. He told her how happy he would be to help her like this as many times as she could stand it. He was hoping to do what he could to help her through this time while they were waiting to make love, he knew that he was going to need her to help him through this time as well.

He cautiously mentioned to her that his wolf had big plans for her when their day came but he didn't elaborate. She didn't question him because she was still in a bit of a sex fog and he was thankful because he couldn't talk to her in details about it yet; he was just trying to give her small hints so that when he finally did explain it, she wouldn't be completely taken by it. He hoped desperately that they would reach that level in their relationship; he prayed for it.

Paul lathered her up again, washing her clean of all the remnants he had left on her body. He conditioned her hair one more time and by then her legs were steady and she was able to get out on her own. Paul washed himself and his hair and got out right behind her.

They were drying each other off when Bella asked. "Where are my bags Paul.

He smiled and said, "I unpacked them for you."

She said, "You did? Where did you put everything?"

Paul showed her the cabinet and drawer in the bathroom; then he showed her the dresser drawers that were hers now and the side of the closet that he gave her. She hugged Paul and told him how incredibly sweet he was.

Paul dressed in a dark pair of low hung jeans and a long sleeve knit pull over that zipped a couple inches from the neck. It was dusk grey and it looked incredible with his dark hair, russet skin, muscular shoulders and buff chest. His jeans fit him so perfectly that her blood began to boil with need again. Paul looked over at Bella knowingly and she blushed a little. She shook her head and began choosing what she wanted to wear.

Paul went downstairs to make them each a sandwich, so they could leave for the grocery store as soon as she came down. He would tell her that he had something he had to go do while she was in the grocery store. Hopefully, she would be too preoccupied with her shopping to ask any questions, then he could explain later.

When they were almost at the grocery store Paul told Bella that he had something he needed to go do but he told her that he would be back in less thirty minutes. She didn't question him, she just told him to be careful and to text her when he was on his way back so that she could be making her way to check out.

Paul handed her his credit card and when she tried to refuse, he insisted. She knew that he had a nice allowance from his grandfather and he never seemed concerned with money so she gave in to him without much protest. He kissed her and said he would see her soon.

Paul was parking at the station in less than five minutes. He was extremely nervous on the inside but he knew that he would be able to hide his emotions from Charlie. Charlie wouldn't be able to read him like Bella could.

Paul walked in and asked for Charlie at the front desk. The lady was being all formal but Paul said that it wasn't a formal visit. He told her that he was a close friend of the family. Finally, she called for Charlie over the phone.

The lady asked Paul for his name and then she said into the receiver, "It's a chief."

The lady smiled and said. "You can go on back, it's the second door on the left."

Paul said, "Yes, I know. Thank you very much."

Charlie greeted Paul with a big smile and held out his hand to shake it.

Paul said, "Hi Charlie. How are you today?"

Charlie gave him a questioning look but said, "I'm doing well Paul. How are you?"

Paul answered, "Good! I have something that I would like to talk with you about Chief."

Charlie smiled and said, "Alright, have a seat."

Paul sat down and said, "It's about Bella, Charlie."

Charlie looked like he was beginning to worry so Paul quickly said, "No. No. She's fine, I promise. She is at the grocery store right now. She doesn't know that I am here though."

Charlie asked, "What's on your mind Paul?"

Paul thought for a moment and said, "Charlie, I love your daughter."

Charlie said, "I kind of figured that Paul. I knew that friendship of yours was growing into something more."

Paul smiled.

He said, "Well, I was talking to Bella earlier today and she opened up to me about something and I wanted to talk to you about it. I always want to be honest with you Charlie, you are Bella's dad and she loves you very much. We both want what's best for Bella, so my first thought was that I should talk to you."

Charlie nodded and said, "Just tell me what you're thinking Paul."

Paul answered, "There are a lot of things going on at the reservation… tonight for instance, we are having a bonfire that will last until late. Bella has several dinners planned for us this week, I think and Embry and Angela want Bella and I to do some things with them plus Bella is going to have to spend some time with Jake."

Paul looked down trying to hide his feelings about that but Charlie had a feeling that he didn't like the thought of it.

Paul continued, "I told Bella that she was going to have to figure out if she wants Jake in her life and if she does, in what capacity. I told her that I will always be her best friend but that I love her and I want more than friendship with her… if she decides that is what she wants too. I understand that she needs closure with Jake though before she can move on with me, so I am willing to do what it takes to see that happen. However, I will support her in whatever decision she makes because I truly do love her. I'm getting side tracked Charlie and rambling. I'm sorry!"

Paul continued, "Bella told me today that she really wished she could spend part of her time with me in La Push."

Charlie wasn't grasping Bella's request. "She can spend as much time as she'd like with you Paul… that has never been a problem with me. You know that!"

Paul was persistent about getting what he wanted, but he hoped that Charlie would let his perceptive nature take over making it easier for him to meet in the middle to talk about it. "That's not what she meant Chief."

It became apparent to Paul that Charlie was switching from father and friend, to father but also… 'Perceptive Chief'. Charlie looked at Paul in question and almost immediately saw complete understanding sweep over Charlie's face; which was followed by a hard look of concern.

Before Charlie could say anything Paul spoke up. "Charlie. I love Bella very much and I would never, ever let anything happen to her. She is my best friend. Yes… I do love her, but our friendship comes first. I am very attracted to her but I would never push her into doing anything that she wasn't ready for. She is still a virgin Charlie and I respect the hell out of that, you have no idea." Paul paused to take a breath and get his thoughts in order.

He continued not wanting to give Charlie an opportunity to stop him. "I know that everyone in this town knows that I have a reputation with the ladies but when I ran into Bella last month on the beach I completely ended all of that. I haven't been with another woman since the night that I saw Bella on the beach. Something happened to me that night Charlie, I can't explain it but Bella changed my life. Anyway, my point is that although Bella is sweet and innocent, she is also very smart and has shown a lot of responsibility. Saving her virginity for one, when you and I both know there are plenty of guys wanting and hoping to be with her."

Paul stopped for only a moment to gage Charlie's expression. He didn't look upset or angry but he did look serious, which was understandable in Paul's eyes.

Paul continued, "She has also taken care of her mom in too many ways to count. She is a loving and giving daughter, an amazing student and a faithful and supportive best friend. If you would trust her to stay with me when she wants to spend nights in La Push, I promise that I will take care of her, respect her and get her back home to you safely Charlie."

Paul was honest and he had given it his best shot. All he could do now was wait. Paul was glad that Charlie couldn't hear how fast his heart was racing because it probably would have thrown up a big red flag which in turn would've probably caused him to receive a big fat, 'Hell No!' from Charlie. Paul knew that Charlie had all of the control and whatever his decision was, would be what they had to live by.

Charlie sat there for probably five minutes running over Paul's words in his mind. The main things that Charlie heard over and over from Paul were love, respect and safety. Those were three things that he wanted desperately for his daughter and the fact was that Charlie felt he owed Paul for keeping his daughter together over the past month. She could have fallen apart but Paul and Bella were building their unique friendship, which made the pain of Bella's separation from him and Jake more bearable for her. Paul had also gotten Bella through the worst of the anger she felt for Renee.

The wait became increasingly difficult for Paul; his heart was beating so fast now that he could feel the damn thing in his throat and ears. He hoped that Charlie would say something… anything to take him out of his misery.

Finally Charlie said, "Okay, Paul. I will entrust Bella into your care but you have to promise me that you are going to treat her with the utmost respect. Do not break her heart Paul! When she stays in La Push I need to know about it and she is to stay with you unless she informs me of something different."

Paul smiled and said, "Thanks Charlie. I won't let you down and I can promise you that Charlie, I will treat her with the utmost respect and I will never hurt her; I will protect her and her heart."

Charlie smiled but then seriousness took over his face again. He had something else to say. "I believe that you do love Bella and I have no doubt that you will protect her, but I was not born yesterday Paul. I don't want you under the impression that I am oblivious to where you and Bella's relationship is headed." Charlie paused watching Paul closely and Paul felt like Charlie was looking into his soul.

Charlie continued, "Bella is in high school now and you are fixing to turn nineteen. Believe it or not I was nineteen once and I know how hormones can control a young man. It is inevitable, you and Bella will eventually have sex Paul and when that happens I need to know that you will be responsible. I need to know that you will treat her the way that she deserves to be treated."

Paul was more than surprised at how forthcoming Charlie was but he understood and believe it or not, he liked that they were keeping this line of communication open.

Paul answered, "I will always treat her the way that she deserves to be treated. When and if the time comes and Bella and I decided to take that step in our relationship; I will be responsible. I know that I have a reputation Charlie, but I want you to know that I have always been responsible in that area; I have always used protection. I hope that I'm not making you feel uncomfortable; I just thought it might ease your mind to know that. I have been tested for everything several times and have been given a clean bill of health. I know that you didn't ask me for any of that but if I were in your shoes, I would be a little concerned so I wanted to put your mind at ease."

Charlie said, "Thank you Paul. I appreciate you coming to me so responsibly. You didn't have to handle things the way that you did, so I respect the hell out of the fact that you came to be like a grown man… that goes a long way with me son."

Paul nodded as he stood up and shook Charlie's hand. He said, "Your welcome. Bella will be spending the night tonight if that is okay. We are having a bonfire at Embry and Angela's and we will be out very late."

Charlie said, "Okay. You kids have fun!"

Paul sent Bella a text before he left the parking lot.

ON MY WAY VANILLA BEAN! –P

GOOD! CHECKING OUT NOW AND I BOUGHT MORE THAN I EXPECTED TO. –B

OKAY! I'LL BE IN TO HELP YOU IN 5. –P

Paul pulled out and made his way back to the grocery store. Bella wasn't lying, she had actually gotten groceries. She had gotten enough to stock the kitchen like she planned on living there with him. He loved the thought of that!

Paul helped Bella out with the groceries and told her to get in and start the car so that she would be plenty warm. He loaded the back of the car with the groceries and they were on their way back to La Push.

Paul had a little bit of a smirk on his face and Bella wondered what was up with him.

She asked, "So, Paul. Don't think that I didn't notice the fact that you didn't tell me where you were going this morning. What's up and why are you smirking?"

He looked at her with a huge smile but didn't say anything.

She said, "What Paul? What did you do? Where did you go? You couldn't have gone far."

He said, "I went to see your dad…we needed to have a man to man talk Vanilla Bean."

She was surprised. "What did you talk with him about Paul?"

He answered, "Well the gist of it was I told him that you were my best friend but that I wanted more than a friendship with you. I told him that I would always love, respect and protect you. I told him that you wanted to start spending part of your time with me in La Push… overnight."

She gasped, "Paul! I bet he freaked out on you. He will never let us spend any time alone now Paul. You should have talked to me first…"

Paul placed his lap on Bella's leg and it calmed her just enough. He interrupted, "Bella, he trusts me and he is fine with it. He feels confident that I will always love and protect you; that is his main concern. He did let me know that he wasn't born yesterday and that he knew where our relationship was going. He said that he knew we would eventually have sex and he wanted me to be responsible about it and not hurt you." Bella's eyes were bugging out of her face and she looked like she was totally in shock.

Paul reached for Bella's hand and shook it gently. "It's okay Vanilla Bean. Charlie trusts me and he appreciated my coming to him the way that I did. He appreciated my honesty… he would rather know what is going on than be in the dark Bella. That is how I want it to be… I respect him too much to sneak around behind his back all the time. I'm not saying that we have to announce the fact that I spend the night with you every night, because Charlie would never understand the need for that, but I don't want to be dishonest about what we want."

Bella whispered, "Wow… I can't believe you did that. Weren't you scared to talk to him Paul?"

Paul almost laughed recalling how scared he felt on his way in and then again while he waited for Charlie's answer.

Paul answered, "I was as scared as hell… you have no freaking idea, but I knew that it was the best way and really the only honest way to handle it. I want this as much as you do Bella. I would love for you to move in with me full time, but for now this is better than I ever expected. I want to be with you everyday for the rest of our lives Bella. He just wants us to keep him informed of our plans. He needs to know where you are so he doesn't worry."

Bella nodded, "That's fine. I'll be sure to keep him filled in."

When they got back to Paul's, they carried the groceries in. Paul told Bella that there was a key under the flower pot and he waited for her to open the door. Paul made one more trip to the car and came back in.

When Bella tried to give Paul his key back he said, "No. That is your key. I will get a spare made from mine to leave under the flower pot. I want you to have your own."

She smiled and kissed her on his cheek. When she did Paul grabbed her around her waist and lifted her to sit on the island in front of him.

Bella scooted to the edge and opened her legs so that Paul could stand flush against her; she longed for his warmth agaist her core. She leaned her head back, giving him access to her neck. He sniffed her neck and made his ways to her collar bone where he paused and nibbled just a little.

He whispered. "Don't you want to take your clothes off while you put the groceries away. I would love to see you move around the kitchen wearing nothing but that red thong I know you are wearing. Seeing you lean into the refrigerator putting things away with your breast tangling, the cool air from the refrigerator causing your nipples to harden."

Bella slapped him. "Paul… get your mind out of the gutter for just a little bit. If I did that you would never let me make three or four batches of brownies; I'd be lucky to get one done. No! Not right now Paul."

Paul laughed and said, "Oh come on Vanilla Bean. You know you want to! I'll strip down for you too… I don't mind. You know I have the same affect on you... I can smell your arousal every time you look at my body. I can smell it right now!"

Bella replied, "I'm not saying that you are wrong Paul but the answer is still no. I have a lot to do, besides don't you have a quiz that you need to study for."

Paul grumbled, "You really are a boner killer!"

Bella slapped him on the chest like he had offended her, but he knew better than that. She completely found the humor in it.

She laughed and said, "Go Study! Now! When I get back in school you can be the one to make me do what I need to do for school."

He surrendered, "Okay! Okay!" Paul went to his desk and tuned his computer on. She loved seeing Paul in his element; she had pictured him at that desk so many times over the last month, while she was in Jacksonville. Now, she could actually see him sitting their studying. She loved that she was here with him.

In between cooking batches of brownies Bella took time to call her dad. Her dad told her about Paul's visit and he told her how much he appreciated it. He told her he knew that she would be spending some nights with Paul and that he understood. He briefly asked her about Jake but she was very vague with her answers. She really didn't know very much to say about him and honestly, she wasn't looking forward to seeing him at the bonfire.

She loved Jake but her love for Paul was intense and consuming… she really just wished that she could skip over all of this and just give into the wolf's desires. She didn't want to hurt Paul by exploring her feelings for Jake, the entire situation sucked… for all three of them. It was bad enough that she was hurting Jake but she felt like once Jake knew about the imprint and the wolf formed it's protective bubble around her and Paul that problem would be solved. Jake would accept her as Paul's imprint. That is how it would happen… right?

Bella didn't want to talk to her mom because she knew that she was probably pissed at Charlie for letting her move back to Forks. Bella honestly didn't want to have to deal with listening to her vent about it but she didn't feel she had a choice. She decided just to get it over with, rather than dread it. She decided a text would be easier… it was so much easier to end a conversation over a text.

Bella – HI MOM. I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM FINE.

Renee – THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW. HAVE YOU SEEN PAUL? JAKE?

Bella – I AM SPENDING MOST OF MY TIME WITH DAD AND PAUL. I BRIEFLY SAW JAKE… HE IS FINE.

Renee – YOUR DAD… I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN

Bella – GOTTA GO MOM. COOKING BROWNIES FOR THE BONFIRE TONIGHT AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO BURN. BYE!

Renee – K… BYE BELLA. LOVE YOU.

Bella – YOU TOO MOM.

Bella knew that it would be a better idea to text… she was able to dodge her mom's questions and complaints easily and she was pleased.

Bella was taking her fourth batch of brownies out when Paul said, "I'm finished. Isn't my timing perfect! Timing, Vanilla Bean, is everything!"

He looked at all of the warm brownies laying on wax paper across the island.

He said, "Wow Bella. That is a crap load of brownies." Bella shook her head and watched Paul as he grabbed two warm brownies. Then, he surprisingly grabbed her and carried her upstairs.

Paul sat her on the bed, pulled off her shirt and unlatched her bra. He pulled his own shirt off and they laid back on the pillows. He knew exactly how he wanted to spend the next few hours and Bella had already let him know that she wanted it too.

Paul said, "Open your mouth Vanilla Bean!"

Bella obeyed and Paul fed her a bite of one of the warm brownies. She had some gooey chocolate on her lip and he sucked her lip into his mouth and said, "Mmmmmm Bella. These brownies are amazing and the chocolate is even sweeter when I suck it off your lips!" He finished feeding her and kissing her in between until the two brownies were gone.

She said, "Power nap?"

Paul smiled knowing how much she loved napping with him. He said, "Okay. We have an hour and a half before we have to leave, everyone is meeting at Embry and Angela's at 8pm. Roll over, I'll tickle your back until you fall asleep."

Bella still had her skirt on but it was hiked up giving Paul a perfect peek of her ass cheeks.

A low growl came from deep within his chest and Bella said in a tired voice. "Your wolf is becoming impatient Paul... he is on my side you know, he is not the one fighting me!"

Paul said, "I know that Bella. Shhhh. Go to sleep honey, I love you!"

Paul was absolutely certain that what she said was true, but he was not budging and he knew that tonight would be the beginning. He feared what the night would mean for him, his wolf , her and Jake. It would be difficult for all of them.

How about them brownies?

Thanks for reading!

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Hugs to all my wolf girls!


	20. Chapter 20

LONG CHAPTER and this is why…

This would have been posted sooner but I received a PM or two that made me think about this story a little bit and I needed a little time to figure out what I wanted to do, if anything with the suggestions.

I decided to take some of the advice although, possibly not to the lengths suggested for my own reasons. One reason is basically adding too much to already written chapters will make things not run as smoothly. AND, I know where I am heading and I don't want to go is a huge circle to get there so I am making minor changes and minor additions to help make it an even better story.

I like private messages because I can really think things through and discuss ideas without everyone seeing what is going on in my mind.

I respect this person because she helped my do some restructuring at an earlier date that helped the story run smoothly. She has an awesome way of explaining herself and I respect that … so thank you… you know who you are!

Thanks so much to you all and thank you for EVERY SINGLE comment and PM. I have tried to learn something out of each comment and the short comments letting me know that you have been pleased with the story encourages me to continue! It keeps it fun for me!

I am a little behind on the replying to new story followers and people who comment… I apologize for that. I appreciate everyone of you!

I have already almost met one of my personal goals for this story and I have all of the followers to thank for that! SO… THANK YOU!

Happy Black Friday!

Happy Shopping!

-S

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER NINETEEN

'The Power of the Pull'

Bella began to toss and turn next to Paul, she was moaning but it didn't sound at all sexual, it was excruciating… the pain was unmistakable. Paul wasn't sure if it was emotional pain or physical pain, but he couldn't stand to see his imprint and best friend in the state she was in.

He shook her, "Bella… honey, honey… it's just a dream." She continued, but now she was crying. He shook her more but she wouldn't wake up. She cried out, "Jake… no! I do love you… Paul! God, I just can't… I need… Jake!"

Paul's heart began to race; it felt as though it might bust right out of his chest. Hearing her say Jake's name repeatedly and so intensely terrified him. It hurt him deeply knowing that she was dreaming of Jake, but he wouldn't allow himself to succumb to his own pain; he had to put her first.

"Bella, please wake up honey." He shook her hard once and her eyes opened. Her eyes were full of tears and they were spilling down her cheeks; she couldn't seem to stop them. He wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her up to his muscular chest and said, "Shhhhh. It's okay Vanilla Bean. It was a dream honey."

Bella began to cry and as she did, her entire body shook uncontrollably. All Paul could do was hold her, there wasn't a lot he could say to make her feel better and he knew it. He relied on the part of the imprint he had accepted to help calm her. He placed her hand on his beating heart and rocked her back and forth; their bare chests mashed together with only her tiny hand between them.

She said, "Paul, I hate this. I hate hurting you this way. I love you more than anything in the world but…"

Paul finished her sentence knowing it was too difficult for her to say. "…you love him too." Bella nodded into his chest.

He had is chin resting on the top of her head and several tears betrayed him and fell into her long, brown hair.

Paul said, "You told me multiple times at Charlie's that you love us both, you even told me once here… so I already know. Don't you know how well I know you Bella; I know you better than you know yourself. When you were at Charlie's and Jake kissed you; you gave into it and you were turned on by him. My wolf sensed it immediately, the second I walked into your kitchen."

Paul paused, hating that he was having this fucking conversation with HIS imprint.

"Bella, this is why I am insisting that you deal with this. I know that the only reason you never mention Jake is because you don't want to hurt me. I'm not that naïve. You only ever express your love for me and you would be perfectly content staying at home with me and never taking the chance that you will have to see Jake but we can't live like that Bella; I can't live that way!"

Paul was trying to be careful with his words but he had to be honest with her about his feeling too. "I love being shut in with you and devoting every second of the day on you, but I don't want us to feel like we have to stay at home all the time or only go places where we are sure we won't run into Jake. How do you think that makes me feel? Knowing that I have to keep you separated from him, for you to be content with me. How is that fair to you, me, our relationship or even Jake?"

Bella cried, "It's not like that Paul… not really."

"Yes, it is Vanilla Bean. It is exactly like that!" He insisted.

He and Bella had never even come close to arguing about anything, ever and he didn't like the way that it felt.

"I love you Bella but I need you to be able to go anywhere with me and be around anyone feeling completely content and settled."

Bella begged, "Then just let the wolf take over Paul…"

Paul raised his voice. "NO! I'm sorry that I have to deny you anything Bella… it kills me but NO! I know that you love me, even more than you love him in some ways, but you HAVE to make this decision and I WILL NOT help you through this Bella… it is the one thing I am not willing to give you. This is a decision that only you can make and if you choose him…" Paul paused to swallow. "If you choose him… I will figure out a way to deal with it. I will always be here for you… I will never leave you! Answer just a couple questions for me honey."

"You are confused, right?"

Bella nodded honestly.

"You still love him, right?"

Another nod but she remained completely silent.

"I know how you feel about me Bella… I don't even have to ask. Honestly though, I find it a bit insulting that you feel the need to hide your feelings for Jake from me. I have had pain in my life and I am a big boy… I can handle a lot more than you think I can!" Paul sucks in a deep breath but knows there is a lot more to be said, even if he couldn't help rambling, he had to get everything off his chest.

"I know that you love me, I know that you are hot for me, I know that I make you feel things emotionally and sexually that you have never experienced before, I know that I make you laugh and you trust me with everything… with the exception of this. If I had to bet my life on what the outcome of this situation will be… I wouldn't even have to think about it. I would bet on us any day of the week, but we are going to have to endure this a little while longer. Even if you have to let him hold you or whatever else happens, I will somehow endure it because I know what I need from you and I know being honest with yourself will bring you happiness and contentment in the end… one way or another. You have to trust this Bella and don't hide your feelings from me any longer… I can't bare it anymore. It hurts too much and it takes too much energy to ignore it."

Bella said, "Paul, I'm sorry I haven't been completely honest with you. I just don't want to hurt you, but now I realize that keeping my feelings from you is hurting you worse than just being honest. You have to know though Paul… everything that I have told you and every emotion that I have expressed to you has been sincere. I want you all the time and I love you more than anything in the world… I just do still love Jake and I have a lot of unresolved feelings for him that I haven't even been admitting to myself. I have ignored them protecting myself and you… I'm sorry Paul."

Paul held her tightly and said, "Shhhhh. It will all work out. One way or another, it will work out."

Bella didn't like the thought of that…'one way or another', but she had to trust Paul. What choice did she have?

Bella was quiet for a minute, but her heart was still beating too fast and tears were still flowing. "What Bella?" Paul questioned her.

Bella answered, "I just feel uneasy, like admitting that I still love Jake and have unresolved feelings for him changes what we have in some way. I still feel exactly the same way about you Paul; my admissions don't change anything. Okay?"

Paul placed his hand on her cheek and said, "I know Vanilla Bean. It doesn't change my feelings for you either, except I hope that I have gained your trust fully. I hope this has cleared the air which will leave absolutely no secrets or omissions between us."

Paul feathered her face with kisses and told her not to worry. He said, "You are still you Bella and I am still me… I still desire you and love you more than I could ever express to you. My wolf still craves you too Bella. You never have to worry about any of that."

Bella said, "I feel the same way Paul."

Paul kissed Bella more passionately than he ever had before; he didn't want her questioning their relationship and he could feel by her kiss that she felt the same way. They were still on the same page and he was thankful for that.

Bella ran her fingers through the back of Paul's hair and brought the top of his head to her chest. She held his strong back and kissed the soft black hair on the top of his head.

She said, "If you get upset with Jake tonight, you won't leave will you? Promise me you won't Paul. I couldn't bare that."

Paul answered, "I promise I won't leave you Vanilla Bean. If it gets to be too much for me to witness, I might not be in your sight but I will be close by. I'm not leaving you and I will be bringing you home with me tonight, I promise."

Bella nodded and said, "Good. It is true that I love Jake… I'm just not sure how I love him. Do I love him because everyone has always expected that of us? Do I love him because we have been there for each our entire lives? Do I still love him romantically… we did have something special. After the last month my view on him, and my view on you and me have changed drastically. I am changing… you have changed with me but Jake… he hasn't been around to change with me. I feel terrible that the transformation is the reason he couldn't see me for the past month but would I feel any differently if we had been able to see one another… I'm not sure that I would. I believe in you and me, Paul and your wolf obviously has chosen me too. I know that I could never live without you… ever. I need you as more than my friend Paul. I am going to make a choice… I will make a choice. I want you both in my life though; it is selfish but I hope for that. If that is something you and Jake could learn to deal with."

Paul replied, "Thanks for being honest. There aren't very many things that scare me but honestly, losing you scares the hell out of me Vanilla Bean." They shared yet another passionate kiss and neither of them ever wanted to end it. They felt safe and protected in each other's arms; they also had a burning passion for one another and they genuinely loved playing with and picking on each other. Their relationship was fun and perfect.

Paul kissed Bella on the cheek and said, "We have twenty minutes Vanilla Bean… you better get ready. I'll go downstairs and pack up all of the brownies."

Bella touched Paul's cheek and said, "Thanks baby."

Paul went downstairs, turned on his music and busied himself packing up the food while he forced himself out of his low mood. He didn't want to be that guy; the sad, serious guy who let the world and the people in it get him down. He had never done that before and he wasn't going to now. He might get pissed off on occasion but he never let it change who he was.

He loved making Bella laugh. He loved to tease her and play with her; he loved to make her feel beautiful and precious. He refused to let this whole thing with Jake change who he was. Paul loaded up the car with Bella's delicious brownies and grabbed a six pack of Bud Light from the frig and took it to the car also. He knew that there would be a lot of drinking going on tonight so he made a point to watch Bella closely. He didn't worry about himself, he burned it up almost as fast as he drank it.

As soon as Paul came back into the house he was floored. Mouth hanging open and drool on the floor, kind of floored. Bella had entered the room and was waiting for him. When Paul saw her, his hand landed directly over the ache in his heart; he ached to touch her. She had literally taken all the words out of his mouth.

She was dressed in all black which was a turn on anyway, because Paul loved black. She had on black jeggings that fit her curves perfectly. She was wearing a very thin, BACKLESS black quarter length sweater that hit her nearly mid thigh, it clung tight to every curve of her body and dramatically fell off her right shoulder only being held together by a string that tied across her back. It had a low enough neckline that it allowed her cleavage to show just enough to drive a man absolutely crazy. It was obvious to Paul that she was not wearing a bra and it was as sexy as hell. She had large gold hoop earrings on and black wedge boots that hit her right below the knee. She was every man's wet dream and he wasn't sure how he felt about his brother's seeing her looking so hot. He decided just to be proud of her. Bella had pulled her hair up in a funky messy bun but she had hair coming down all around her face, shoulders and back. Very sexy.

Paul walked up to her and wrapped her in his arms. He placed hot wet kisses on her neck and bare shoulder while his hands roamed over her bare back; he wanted to untie the little string across her back and let her sweater fall around her waist, but he refrained from doing that just yet. He pulled back to look into her eyes.

He said, "You look incredible Bella. Seeing you like this makes me want to just skip the damn bonfire so I can have you all to myself."

Bella smiled and said, "That would be fine with me but we have a ton of brownies and everyone is expecting us I'm afraid."

Paul growled and said, "I know. It is going to kill me tonight… I am not going to be able to pull my eyes off of you. I know all of my little brothers in the pack are going to go crazy when they see you and I am going to have to beat some asses when I realize what they are thinking. I'll be able to read Colin and Brody's thoughts when we are still in human form… the little pervs better watch it! They transformed since Jake and they can't keep their perverted thoughts to themselves; don't let their sweet persona fool you."

Bella laughed at him getting all flustered.

Paul pulled her close to him possessively and breathed heavily into her hair, "You have no idea what you are doing to me Bella."

He pulled her tight against his crotch so that she could feel the evidence of what he was saying.

Bella replied, "Yes, I do and I am doing it on purpose. I dressed like this just for you Paul and I want you to know that I am not wearing a stitch under these clothes. No panties, No bra, No nothing. Just my bare, bare body… just the way I know you love it."

Paul didn't even attempt to compose his wolf. A growl came from deep down as he hungrily said, "I need you so desperately Bella... I don't know how much more I can take. I know what you are doing… you are tempting me Vanilla Bean and it is tearing me up. You should be ashamed."

Bella kissed Paul's nose and said, "Maybe I should Paul, but I'm not. Let's go before you have to change your pants."

Paul laughed and said, "Ha ha! Aren't you the little comedian. Come here to me!"

Paul reached between Bella's legs and began rubbing her clit through her jeggings. She began to breath harder and harder. Paul could tell that she was unbelievably turned on; it took her only seconds to begin her climax. Bam! He put on the brakes.

He said, "Oh my gosh Bella. Look what time it is… we've got to go!"

Paul grabbed her hand and pulled her to the car, laughing at her wobbly knees but never letting her go for fear she might fall.

Bella growled this time. "Thanks a lot Paul! Now I'm wet and in a mess… no panties, remember."

Paul laughed and said, "It will dry and I will get to smell it all night!"

Paul loved the way that she smelled, the only thing that he regretted was that on top of the way that she looked, now his brother's would also get to smell her the way only he should be able to. A wolf's life… absolutely no privacy. Shit!

By the time they reached Embry and Angela's house, Bella had calmed herself, however her scent was everywhere and Paul was so hard he could hammer nails. He willed himself to calm down and his arousal subsided enough so that he could walk. He looked beautiful and Bella felt so fortunate that he loved her so much.

Embry ran out to the car to help them carry in everything. Paul got out and shook Embry's hand and they gave each other strong pats on the back.

Embry said, "Hey Paul. Good to see you man."

Embry reached and gave Bella a friendly hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Glad you could come Bella. We look forward to seeing a lot of you around here."

Embry stood behind Bella and looked over at Paul. He mouthed, "OH MY GOD!"

Paul shook his head, silently telling Embry to keep it to himself.

Embry said, "Bella, go on in and see Angela. I'll help Paul carry the brownies in."

Bella smiled and said, "Thanks Embry."

When Bella got out of ear shot Embry laughed and said, "Oh my God Paul. What are you doing to that girl?"

Paul laughed and said, "Shut up Embry. Don't be a prick man; I love that girl."

Embry said, "No disrespect Paul, really. I'm just saying… she is so hot for you. A 'hot mess' doesn't even come close to describing that poor girl. All of those orgasms this morning and you have not even sealed the deal yet. It is like foreplay that lasts for days… weeks maybe. How can you handle that? I could never, ever, ever handle that man."

Paul replied, "I have no idea how I am handling it; my wolf is ready Embry… he wants to have his way with her and he is not happy that I am allowing her to explore her feelings for Jake; he is pissed off!"

Embry said, "I'm sure he is… I just hope it doesn't take too much time, for both of your sakes. Let's go on in."

Paul asked, "Is Jake here yet?"

Embry answered, "No, but he is on his way. Sam has given him the okay to live back at home."

Paul said, "Okay. Shit… I hate this Embry! You have no idea how hard this is going to be."

Embry put his arm around his best friend and said, "Come on… let's go check on our ladies."

When Paul and Embry walked in the first thing that Paul noticed were Colin and Brady swooning all over and around Bella. They could smell her scent and they were both bothered by it. Embry found the humor in it but Paul didn't.

Paul said, "Shut the hell up Embry. You wouldn't be laughing if they were acting that way with Angela."

Embry said, "You're right man… sorry!"

Paul walked over toward Bella and said, "You pervs get the hell away from her."

They all scattered and Bella laughed. Paul kissed her neck and breathed into her hair. "They can smell you Bella… that is why they are swarming around you."

Bella said, "No privacy in the pack I guess."

Paul smiled and said, "Not much I'm afraid."

He said, "You want to walk outside. There's a bonfire, music and a dance floor."

Bella immediately got excited. "Dancing? I love to dance."

Paul replied, "Yes, I know. You are very good at it too Miss Swan."

Paul took her by the hand and said, "Let's walk."

They walked out hand and hand. It was a beautiful night, millions of stars in the sky and although it was cool, it was perfect when you had a wolf to hold you closely.

Paul heard Bella's heart begin to race a little. He took her hand and placed it over his chest… she immediately calmed down.

Paul knew why Bella was getting nervous. He said, "Yes, Vanilla Bean… he is coming, he'll be here any minute."

Bella shook her head like she was shaking off a terrible feeling, "I don't want…"

Paul interrupted her, he had no intention of going through everything again.

"Just trust in our love Bella. It will be fine; we'll be fine." Paul encouraged.

Bella trusted Paul but in this situation how could he be certain of what might lie in their future. He loved her; he would obviously do or say anything he could to keep her positive in a moment like that. She swallowed and replied, "Okay, Paul."

Paul said, "Do you want a beer?" Paul had never needed a beer more; actually to feel much he would probably need to drink about six as quickly as possible just to knock the edge off… his body temperature tended to burn it up as fast as he could drink it.

Embry and Angela came up behind them.

Angela said, "No, she doesn't want a beer Paul."

Angela handed Bella a large peach margarita.

Bella smiled and said, "Thanks! You're right, I really don't like beer."

Angela said, "You're welcome. I'm Angela by the way."

Bella tasted her drink. "Yum! That is so good Angela. It is nice to meet you… I'm Bella."

The peach margarita was so good that Bella couldn't help drinking it down quickly. She wasn't a drinker so she had no idea how much she could handle but she trusted Paul to take care of her.

When Bella got to the bottom Angela said, "Embry, Bella is finished with her drink. Let's go make another pitcher of Margaritas."

"Okay. Let's go." He replied. They left hand and hand.

In a low, gruff voice Paul asked, "How about a dance?"

Bella jumped up and down. "Yes!"

They walked over to the dance floor. Sam and Embry had hung white lights so the dance floor was lit up in a soft glow.

Paul pulled Bella flush up against his heated body and rubbed her bare back as they danced to Ed Sheeran's 'Tenerife Sea'. He began to sing the song into her hair.

"You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that.

The way it falls on the side of your neck, down your shoulders and back. We are surrounded by all of these lies and people that talk too much. You got the kind of look in your eye, as if no one knows anything but us…"

Paul was an amazing singer and listening to him made Bella's whole world move. He was her everything and she couldn't imagine wanting anything more than what she had right here in front of her. Paul reached and placed his hands low on Bella's hips and pulled her impossibly close to him. She could feel his erection growing against her and she became wet all over again.

Paul inhaled her and said, "You smell so amazing Bella. I need to taste you right now… so badly."

Bella asked, "Why do we crave one another so desperately Paul. It's like we never, ever quit wanting and needing one another. We have our hands all over each other all the time and we can't keep our clothes on when we are alone. I have never, ever experienced anything like this before Paul."

Paul replied, "The imprint increases every feeling that you would normally feel. The love and need is all consuming between a wolf and his imprint… just think what it will be like when I give into the pull completely Vanilla Bean. Can you even imagine?"

Bella answered, "No, but I will welcome it. I love the way that it feels."

All of a sudden Paul tensed in Bella's arms. She wondered what was wrong. Had she said something to upset him.

She worriedly asked, "What's wrong Paul... is it something I said."

Paul whispered, "No Vanilla Bean. He's here."

"Don't turn me loose Paul. I'm not ready… just dance with me a little while longer. Please." Bella begged in desperation.

Paul honored her request. The truth is he never wanted to let her go. "Of course baby. I'm here; I won't let you go."

Paul and Bella danced two more dances with Bella clutching him like he was her lifeline.

Paul asked, "Embry and Angela are back with more margaritas. Are you okay?"

Bella nodded. They walked over to where Embry, Angela, Jake and Quill stood.

Bella walked straight up to Embry and took one of the Margarita's out of his hand. "Thanks Embry!" Bella began to drink it down. She drank nearly half of the drink in a few gulps. She was hoping liquid courage would get her through the night. She had already been feeling the effects of the first drink - she was feeling giddy and turned on but now, since Jake got there, she had become nervous as hell; so she needed more to drink."

Paul whispered, "Slow down Bella. You need to take it easy… you probably need to eat something if you are going to drink more tonight."

That was what she wanted to hear. It was her escape. "Yep! That's what I need… food. Paul let's go inside and get some food."

She walked right past Jake without so much as looking his way.

Paul looked over at Embry with a worried look on his face. Embry shrugged at him and briefly glanced at Jake. Jake was furious that Bella hadn't even acknowledged his presence yet.

Paul lifted her into his arms and she let out a squeal. She was feeling pretty tipsy already and he didn't want her tripping over her own two feet.

Bella said, "Paul! You crazy wolf… put me down! No don't…carry me, don't ever let me go! Take me home Paul and do crazy things to me."

About that time Paul heard a hard hit and a moan. He looked back to find Quill laying on his back and Jake standing over him shaking his right hand. Jake had punched the shit out of Quill and knocked him completely out. Paul was sure that Quill had made some comment about the things that Bella was saying to him and Jake cold cocked him without hesitation.

Sam stormed over toward Jake and said, "GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE… WAIT BY MY TRUCK. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW!" Jake obeyed Sam and seemed to be calming down… it also looked like Quill was coming around so maybe everything would be okay. Bella was oblivious to it all!

Paul wasn't sure how, but he had somehow managed to continue to hold on and not fully accept the imprint, but it was completely obvious that it was affecting Bella, more and more everyday. She still had enough of her independence to make her own decisions about who she wanted to spend her future with. Unfortunately, in Paul's opinion, she also had the choice to entice the wolf and make it more difficult for Paul to resist. She could choose to be drawn in by the imprint as much as possible until Paul could no longer hold on any longer. The wolf was definitely on Bella's side and there wasn't anything Paul could do about that.

When they went inside Bella said, "I have to pee! Where is the bathroom Paul?"

Paul replied, "Down here. Follow me. Do you need help?"

Bella grinned and said, "Yes. I think that I do need help peeing Paul… I have a few things that I want to show you too Paul so lock the door."

Surprisingly, Bella actually did have to pee. She wasn't just trying to get Paul alone as he thought she might have been doing. Bella pulled her pants down, sat on the toilet and started peeing right there in front of Paul. He smiled and thought that it was another first for them. Bella wiped, stood up, flushed and quickly washed her hands.

Paul reached around her and squeezed her ass, he lifted her up onto the bathroom counter and began kissing her crazily. Paul took her boots off of her and pulled her pants off of her.

He said, "Hold on a minute." He went into the next room which was a guest bedroom and locked the door. He carried her from the bathroom into the bedroom, grabbing her boots and her pants off of the bathroom floor. He locked the bathroom door behind him so that no one could get into the bedroom.

Paul laid Bella back on the bed and she opened her legs for him. He placed his nose on her bare mound and inhaled everything that was Bella.

Paul said, "I'm sorry I got you stirred up earlier and slammed the breaks on you. I was doing it to get you back… you know that right?"

"Yes, but please don't do that again… I don't think that I could stand it again." Bella insisted.

Paul smiled and said, "I'm not… I have something else in mind for you."

Paul said, "Tell me what you want me to do for you."

Bella looked at him questioningly.

He said, "Tell me." Bella blushed and it turned Paul on even more than he already was. "Don't be shy with me Bella. What do you want me to do?"

Bella replied, "I want you to lick me Paul."

Paul insisted that she use her words. "Lick what Bella?"

Bella said, "Paul… you know. Don't make me beg."

Paul smiled and said. "I'm not going to make you beg Bella. I just want you to ask me for what you want."

Bella huffed, "I want you to eat me Paul."

Paul questioned her again, "Be specific so that I can please you Bella."

Bella looked a little annoyed. She said, "Good gosh Paul. You know what I want. Just do it for me… Please!"

Paul smiled but didn't say a word. Bella felt the liquid courage kicking in just in the nick of time.

She said, "Take my lips into your mouth and suck them Paul."

Paul obeyed. Bella was so full of cream that he spent an entire minute and a half sucking her clean.

She said, "Lick my clit Paul, massage my bundle of nerves until my legs tremble around your neck.

Paul loved that she had asked him for exactly what she wanted, so he happily granted her request; it didn't take long for her to begin her climax. When she had her orgasm he realized that she moaned even louder when she was drunk. He knew that the entire pack and anyone that was in the house could hear Bella and that meant that Jake was aware of what was going on in here.

Bella was coming down from her orgasm when she said, "Let me help you Paul."

Paul said, "No baby. This was all about you… I'll be fine until we are home. We need to get out there. Everyone will wonder where we are."

Bella looked at Paul like he was crazy. "Please, Paul. Everyone knows exactly where we are and what we are up to. I know that I am loud but I refuse to hold back… it feels so much better to let go. I'm not ashamed of what we share Paul." Paul was so happy that she said that. Paul helped her redress.

He knew that when they got back outside everyone would smell her all over him but he didn't care. He also knew that Jake was going to be pissed off but believe it or not… he wasn't even going to let that bother him either. He was in love and that was bigger than all of this. Paul made Bella a sandwich and he sat with her while she ate it. She poured herself another margarita and Paul grabbed himself two beers to carry outside.

They were all standing in the same spot and when Bella and Paul reached the group. Embry smirked and said, "So, are you kids having fun tonight?" Paul slapped Embry on the back of the head. Bella was already pretty tipsy and uninhibited; she had proven that in the guest bedroom when she told Paul exactly what she wanted from him.

Bella answered Paul's question, "As a matter of fact we are having an amazing time Embry. You and Angela throw a hell of a party! Paul was giving me a tour of some of the rooms in your house; I especially love the guest bedroom." She lifted her eyebrows up and down.

Bella wasn't trying to upset Jake when she said that… she had zero intentions; she was saying what was on her mind freely, due to her current state. Everyone laughed with the exception of Jake, who stormed off. Bella didn't seem to care or maybe she didn't notice. She was feeling extremely happy and comfortable with everything and everyone.

Paul noticed that Angela was way more talkative than usual. When he looked at Embry in question. Embry pointed at her glass and put three fingers in the air. We R Who We R by Kesha came on and Bella grabbed Angela's hand and pulled her out on the dance floor. It was the perfect song for hot girls to dance to.

Paul was amazed at the moves Bella had; she was as sexy as hell and Paul couldn't help needing to feel her in his arms again. Bella had her arms up in the air and she was dancing up against Angela. Angela had really let loose and had moves that he never expected her to have either. Paul had never, ever imagined Bella like this. She was having a good time though; it was obvious that the margaritas had helped her to loosen up a lot. What she was doing was completely harmless so he didn't discourage her; he enjoyed watching her.

He looked over at Embry with a smirk and they just shook their heads at each other. They stood there together and continued to watch their women dance and have a good time. Angela whispered in Bella's ear and they came over and grabbed their hands. They pulled Embry and Paul onto the dance floor with them. Embry and Paul knew how to dance; they had spent many nights dancing in night clubs before they settled down, so they were ready to give the girls a run for their money.

Everyone was watching them dance, it was hard to miss the couples groping one another. The wolves could not keep their hands off of their imprints.

The music stopped and Bella said, "Let's sit down for a little while Paul." Paul took Bella's hand and led her over to some chairs. Embry and Angela decided to dance to the slow song that came on; it was obvious to everyone how much Embry loved Angela and now Paul understood.

They had been sitting there laughing and talking for about thirty minutes when Jake walked up to them. Paul wanted to jump on Jake and knock his teeth out just for being there but he kept his cool.

Jake said, "Hey Bells."

Bella replied, "Hi Jake." Bella placed her hand on Paul's leg for support.

Jake noticed but chose to ignore it. He said, "I've missed you Bells… can we talk?"

Bella looked at Paul warily and said, "Sure. Give me just a second. Okay?" Jake nodded and walked away.

Bella said, "Please, Paul."

Paul shook his head and whispered, "I'm sorry baby. It will be fine. Just try to figure all of this out quickly… face it, don't prolong it anymore Vanilla Bean; it will be easier on everyone"

Paul placed his large hand around her neck possessively and rubbed her gently. He kissed her neck and placed his lips on her collarbone.

He said, "You are perfect! I love this part of your collarbone Bella. My wolf needs you so desperately."

Bella said, "I know… I need him too Paul."

Bella kissed Paul on the cheek, got up and walked over to Jake. Jake reached for Bella's hand and looking back at Paul, she took it and agreed to walk with him. They walked toward the beach and Paul felt like he might combust; all he could do was recall the visions that he had seen through Jake's mind. Their time on the beach and in the woods. Ugh! Shit!

Jake and Bella stopped and Paul noticed that he was rubbing her arms. She was cold and there wasn't anything Paul could do about it right now. Jake took his jacket off and put it on Bella. He placed his arm around Bella and held her against his side. Paul was fixing to come unglued. Jake stood in front of Bella and pulled her against his chest and Paul could plainly see that Bella was sobbing. Bella was sobbing and Jake was comforting her.

About that time Embry showed up and said, "Are you okay?"

Paul said, "Hell no. I'm not okay Embry… this sucks butt and there is nothing I can do about it."

Embry argued, "Well Paul. That is not entirely true. You don't have to let this happen. You do have a choice in the matter."

Paul replied, "What kind of a fucking choice is that Embry? I can make the choice to take her choice away. Is that it! I won't do that… she is my best friend and I will not let the wolf take her choices away from her. ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Paul decided to walk away for a little while. He let the tailgate on Sam's truck down and sat there watching Bella and Jake from a distance. He knew that she would wonder where he was but he had told her that if she didn't see him not to worry. He wouldn't leave her.

Jake and Bella came back for a minute and walked onto the dance floor. The song, 'Sparks Fly' by Taylor Swift was on. Jake pulled Bella entirely too close to him and she laid her cheek on his chest. He was gently rubbing his fingertips over her neck and bare back; he even laid rested his lips on her bare shoulder as they danced; to her it felt comfortable and familiar. However, the sensation also tightened the muscles between her legs which totally confused her. How could she love two different men; she knew she had a choice to make and in her mind, she would be making her choice tonight. Denying one of them anything romantic or sexual while the other one would remain as her friend… or she hoped he would. She had her hands on Jake's back, mindlessly moving them in a circular motion; comforting him as they danced.

It was obvious to Paul that there was still an unmistakable connection between the two of them and it scared the shit out of him. Bella looked up into Jake's face, a tear fell down her cheek and Jake kissed it away right in front of Paul and everyone else, like no one else was even around. Every muscle in Paul's body tensed.

Embry said, "Go Paul… get the hell out of here! Run for a little while… I'll keep an eye on things here, I promise man. Go!"

Before Paul left he heard a commotion come from where Angela was standing.

"How could she be in Jake's arms like that? She is letting Jake touch her. She is letting him kiss her face and rest his lips on her bare shoulder. How could she do this to Paul? What in the hell is Paul doing just standing over there watching them? I don't understand!"

Angela was crying uncontrollably like it was extremely painful for her to watch. Paul thought that to her it probably did feel very personal, like maybe what she and Embry had wasn't as strong and as powerful as she thought it was. What she didn't know was that Paul hadn't let go and he had never let the wolf unleash his powers on their relationship.

Embry immediately ran to Angela; he probably knew exactly what she was thinking and he couldn't stand to see her pained by anything… especially this. "Stop baby… it's okay. I will explain what is going on, please Angela come with me." Embry pulled her to the side and explained it all to her. She looked like she was crying and Paul hated that his decisions was affecting Angela so negatively.

Embry noticed Paul watching them and mouthed, "She is fine. Go run!" Paul nodded and he was out of there.

When Paul reached the forest's edge he stripped, phased and ran. He ran and as hard & as fast as he could possibly go. His mind running just as fast.

Once Angela calmed down Embry looked toward Sam's truck. Paul had taken off but Sam was motioning for him to come over to him; Embry could read Sam's expression and he was not happy.

When Embry reached Sam; Sam stood there in silence for a minute before he began.

"Why do I get the fucking feeling that you know something I don't know Embry? What in the hell is going on between Jake, Bella and Paul?"

Embry said, "I was giving Paul time to figure things out, so that he could tell you himself. Are you ordering me to tell you Sam?"

Sam looked at Embry and said, "Yes, I am ordering you to tell me. I need to know what is going on with my pack and I need to know now! Paul and Bella are together and for a while tonight, she was completely ignoring Jake. Quill smarts off to Jake about Paul and Bella, pissing Jake off so bad that he punches him out. Paul and Bella go in the house and fool around, she obviously had an orgasm while she was in there and now Paul has her sweet scent all over his face. Now Bella is dancing with Jake so close you can't get a stick between them. Now, Paul has phased and is running in the woods and Angela is freaked out… crying because Jake and Bella are together. What in the hell am I missing. Now, Embry! TALK!"

Embry shook his head and said, "Paul imprinted on Bella at the beach Thanksgiving weekend, but he has been fighting the imprint as hard as he can. He insists that she needs to choose him on her own, so he wants her to explore her feelings for Jake and make a decision. Over the past month Paul and Bella have become extremely close… not because of the imprint though. I know this because he hasn't accepted the imprint entirely and because while Bella was in Jacksonville the pull didn't really have much of an affect on her. He loves her and she loves him but he needs more… he needs her to choose him over Jake. He won't let the wolf choose for her. He ran off because it is just too hard for him to watch. I can't even imagine what he must be going through… it is hard to explain if you haven't experienced imprinting for yourself."

Sam shook his head in disbelief and asked, "Does Jake know?"

Embry answered, "No… Paul doesn't want him to know yet."

Sam asked the obvious question next. "Does Bella know?"

"Yes, Bella knows and she knows why Paul hasn't fully accepted the imprint. She isn't happy about it and she has begged him to just let the wolf have his way, but he won't and he is adamant about it." Paul explained.

Sam had one more question. "Why is Angela so upset?"

Embry tried to explain in a way that Sam could understand. "Angela only knows that Paul imprinted. I didn't tell her that Paul hasn't fully accepted the imprint or that Paul was insisting that Bella explore her feelings for Jake. I was afraid that she could never understand. Anyway, it backfired because what she saw tonight hurt her deeply; she took it extremely personal. Like, if Paul and Bella aren't bound together where no other man or woman can come between them, maybe she and I aren't bound as tight as she thought we were either. I had to explain everything to her and I think that she is going to be fine. She just couldn't believe that Bella could do that to Paul but now she knows that Bella is only doing what Paul has insisted that she do. It's a fucked up mess and I hope it is over soon, for Paul's sake! I feel bad for Jake too but a man and woman's bond is nothing compared to a wolf and his imprint's. It is just a fact… I've had both."

Sam said, "I wish you would have just come to me and told me what was going on. It is hard for me to manage the pack if I don't know what is going on… you, Paul and even Jake now are getting so good at controlling your thoughts while we are phased that I am left in the dark more than I like. I understand that you have to keep certain things between you and your imprint private out of respect for her, but we need to all be a little more open about our lives. The pack is supposed to be tied in that way; that is the way that it has been for thousands of years and it was intended to remain that way forever… it is what keeps the pack united as one. I am going to call a meeting to discuss just that, but I will wait until all of this shit is over between the three of them. I will keep this to myself since it is Paul's business with his imprint; it isn't anyone else's concern. You can go… make sure Angela is okay."

PAULS POV

Fuck! This is the worst kind of shit that I could ever find myself in. She is mine, mine, mine… what was I thinking…. Why am I insisting that she do this. She begged me not to make her do this, but I wouldn't listen to her. She gave me multiple opportunities to agree to let go and let the pull consume us, but I denied her.

Imprinting on her… I can't even put those feelings into words. There is a song though, a song that I heard earlier today while Bella was still napping… it's a song from her playlist. It described exactly how I felt the moment I imprinted on Bella. It was amazing! It was powerful and beautiful! It felt completely natural and magical at the very same time.

The artist is kind of embarrassing because he is a girl's heart throb but the boy does sing a song that describes exactly how I felt the moment I caught Bella on the beach.

CAN'T FIGHT THIS LOVE

Austin Mahone

I've been _**HIT BY A TRAIN**_, It came _**OUT OF THE BLUE**_.

What a _**BEAUTIFUL PAIN**_, When I _**FELL SO HARD**_ for you

I just _**CAN'T LOOK AWAY, **_When you walk into the room.

There's no way to escape, there's only one thing I can do.

Don't let it _**TAKE CONTROL**_, there's _**NO WAY**_ I let you go

And the one thing that I know

Can't fight this _**LOVE**_. Can't fight this _**ENERGY**_. It's so _**NATURAL**_. It's _**TAKING OVER ME**_. Can't fight this love. _**NO ESCAPE**_ through my heart. Can fight this love. Can't fight this. Can't fight this. Can't fight this love.

_**IT TOOK**_ _**ONE LOOK**_, and it was _**ALL OVER**_.

One _**SMILE **_and I was _**LOST**_

You broke through my_** DEFENSES**_ ,

**SO I'M YOURS.**

Chorus again…

That was exactly how I felt… it happened so immediately that I felt like I was hit my a train that came out of the blue… I couldn't look away and I didn't want to… I fell hard and fast and it was a beautiful pain… I was consumed with love and energy… it felt natural and she absolutely broke through all of my defenses with just one look. I had built up a wall for years and used women to make myself feel better, never once letting any one of them get remotely close to me. She changed all of that for me and I most definitely am hers… forever! I want to let it take over me… I don't want to escape… I want it to consume us both and she wants it too… she loves me… what in the hell am I doing… why in the hell am I allowing Jake to put his fucking hands on my imprint…my mate!

That is it! I can't fight the imprint anymore. I am going to her and I am going to let her know that I am ready to give in to the imprint like she has begged me to do. I'm going to apologize for my hesitation and I am going to embrace all that the wolf has to offer us.

Paul ran, ran, ran… He had to get back to her… He had to claim her as his own!

He thought to himself… 'WAIT FOR ME VANILLA BEAN… I'M ALMOST THERE BABY!'

Will Paul make it in time?

Will Bella still want Paul to give in to the pull?

What are you hoping for?

I would love to hear from you!

DON'T HATE ME FOR THE CLIFFY… I HAVE TO TRY MY BEST TO LEAVE YOU WANTING MORE!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

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Hugs for all my wolf girls!


	21. Ch21 Pt1- Choices'

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY – Part One

'Choices'

While Paul was out running…

When the music stopped, Jake continued to sway Bella as if he didn't even realize there was no music playing. His lips were still on Bella's bare shoulder and the palms of his hands were now resting low on Bella's hips.

He focused on Bella's breathing and he could tell that she felt safe in his arms. Her cheek was resting on his chest and he could surprisingly feel her warm breath against his hot skin. He had a shirt and a jacket on but Jake was sensitive to everything that was Bella. He always had been and he figured that he always would be, no matter what happened between them tonight.

Jake could have held her there all night but the truth was, they needed to talk. Things between them were unsettled and he hoped that she would be willing to listen to him. He hoped that he wouldn't screw everything up because he was angry or impatient. How could he not be those two things though, life had sent him nothing but shit lately it seemed. Whoever said when life deals you lemons make lemonade clearly needed psychiatric help. People that optimistic have never had to deal with much heart break or turmoil in their lives; obviously it would be easy for them to make up a phrase like that.

Jake wished that he could stay right there on the dance floor and just hold her, talking only with unspoken words. The way that Bella was mindlessly caressing him and the way that he was touching her seemed to tell a beautiful story and everyone standing around the dance floor could see it; including Angela who continued to become more and more upset.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she looked over at Embry and Angela. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the look in Angela's eyes which in turn caused her to immediately look to Embry who was thankfully focused on her.

Bella made serious eye contact with Embry and begged him with her eyes to come rescue her for a minute. Embry whispered something to Angela and Bella saw her nod. Embry walked onto the stage and said, "Jake, if you don't mind I am going to borrow Bella for a minute." Jake looked irritated.

Bella said, "Please Jake. I need to talk to Embry for a minute… do you mind?"

Jake shook his head 'NO' but it wasn't really true… he minded, a lot.

Embry placed his hand on the middle of Bella's back and lead her off the dance floor. He whispered, "What is it Bella? What do you need?"

"I just need some time by myself. I would rather Paul be here to talk to but I assume he is running." Bella observed.

Embry nodded. "Yes. I told him to run and that I would watch everything here. He is a strong guy but this is too much for anyone… you know?

Bella had tears falling down her cheeks when she said, "I know Embry… I understand, I really do. I have put myself in his shoes, thinking about him needing to spend time with girls from his past. I couldn't do it; I don't blame him for running. He promised he wouldn't go far though… is he far away?"

Embry answered honestly, "He's not too far. He is pretty much running the nearby woods. Far enough away so that he can't hear everything that is being said here but close enough so that you won't feel the separation."

Bella nodded. She said, "Embry, I need some time alone. I want to go out on the beach and sit by myself for a little while. Can you please make that okay with Jake somehow. I will talk to him soon, but I need about thirty minutes by myself."

"I'll take care of it Bella. Hold on a minute." He said. Bella watched Embry walk out to his truck and reached into the backseat. He pulled out a thick blanket and walked back over.

Bella smiled and said, "Thanks Embry. That is sweet of you to think of me. Bella turned her back to Embry and he slipped the blanket over her shoulders. He said, "I'll be sure that Jake gives you the time you need. Don't worry." Embry patted Bella on the back and Bella walked down toward the beach.

She began to walk down the beach cuddled in the blanket with the wind whipping around her body. She sat down where she was standing and let her face fall forward. She let it all out, everything she had been holding in for the past month.

Her tears were rolling one behind the other and she didn't even try to quiet her sobs; Embry felt the urge to comfort his brother's imprint but he stayed with Angela. Jake kept eyeing Embry but Embry remained adamant about the fact that Bella needed some time alone. She needed to let these emotions out in her way.

Bella's body was trembling and her shoulders were shaking to match her cries.

BELLA'S POV

What is the hell is wrong with me? Who falls in love with two men? I can't do this to either of them. I can't do this to myself. I am not going to spend time figuring out my feelings for Jake. I am making a decision tonight.

I know girls who like two boys at one time. They like certain things about each one making it difficult to choose. However, you have to find a way to choose if you care about them at all.

I know that I don't want to lose either of their friendships but I know that I can only have a romantic relationship with one of them. I have to make a choice… one that I can live with.

My mind tells me that I should be with Jake. We have known each other forever. Growing up and beginning a relationship is what everyone has always expected of us and what we expected of ourselves. We have always been 'Jake and Bells' the cutest couple in Forks and the cutest couple on the rez.

I held Jake in my arms while he cried all night, when his mom was killed by the drunk driver. I helped him through the sadness and the anger; I was the only one he would talk to.

The night that my mom pulled her shit and said that she was taking me to Jacksonville with her, Jake was there for me. I remember we were so worried about it… we had never lived away from one another before.

I can remember our moms taking us to the beach when we were little. We wanted to be together all the time and if we ever had a day when we couldn't see one another; you would have thought the world was ending.

Through the years, Jake has always taken good care of me, he caught me when I fell, made me laugh when I wanted to cry and kept me company when I was lonely. I can't even count the number of times that Jake came over and climbed through my window to sleep with me at night. When one of us was going through something and didn't want to be alone; we had to be together… we had to hold and comfort one another. We were each other's constant.

Things are different now; I'm different. I will never forget all of the things that my mind tells me. I will always remember the past that Jake and I have had. He will always be one of the most important people in my life; I don't want to live in a world without Jake?

However, my heart and soul are yelling Paul's name loudly; demanding to be noticed above all else. My heart can't imagine being without Paul; I can't live without Paul in my life. My soul is confident that he is my true mate and now Paul's wolf has confirmed that by choosing me as his imprint. Paul is holding back but I can feel it… I feel the imprint in my soul.

I feel the pull every single minute of the day; I don't want to deny it. I want it to consume me and I wish that Paul would just allow it to. I understand what he wants from me though, so I have to be strong and try to make my decision once and for all.

During the past month, having Paul in my life has been amazing. I have never had a relationship with anyone like the one that I have with Paul. We read one another perfectly, he always puts me first in his life, I long to make him happy, the attraction between us is unmistakable and I have felt perfectly comfortable baring my soul to him, which usually doesn't come easily for me. Jake is the only one I had ever let become close to me but the openness between Paul and I has reached a whole other level. It is incredible. I don't know of another couple with a relationship like mine and Paul's. Paul talks about Embry and Angela's relationship being like this but I haven't witnessed it myself yet.

I know in my heart that I will not be able to leave tonight without making a decision. I refuse to live another day like this. I think that I know what my decision will be; my heart is fairly confident. My body is what is confusing me though. Ugh! The way our bodies react is unpredictable; it deceives our hearts and minds sometimes. Why is that? Why can't all of those emotions be tied somehow; why can't they mirror each other perfectly? It would make decisions like this easy. You wouldn't even have to think about anything, because it would be obvious.

I lay over on my side with the blanket between my body and the sand and watch the waves roll in and out right in front of my face. I absolutely love it here. I feel like a part of this beach now; maybe if I am completely still, the waves will make my choices for me and carry me to the place I am supposed to be.

Suddenly, I feel a presence behind me and I hear Jake clear his voice. He kneels down behind me and touches my back as he whispers, "Are you ready to talk Bells?"

I nod and sit up. My face is completely covered in tears and my cheeks feel hot and flushed, even though the wind drying the moisture on my face should feel cold. I am certain that I look like crap now, but honestly I don't care. When Jake looks into my face and sees the evidence of all the tears, his face looks pained; however all I feel is guilt for causing him to feel sorry for me.

Jake said, "Oh, Bells. Please, don't cry. We'll work all of this out… I promise!"

Bella nodded and Jake reached for her hands to help her up. She thanked him before taking them and they began to walk a little way down the beach… out of everyone's sight. They walked up to a huge drift wood branch and stopped. Jake lifted her so that she could sit on top of it and he stood between her legs. He placed the top of his head on her stomach and stood there quietly. She knew that he was inhaling her scent because she was aroused being in that position; proof that her body was betraying her once again.

Bella laced her fingers through the back of Jake's hair and said, "Jake, I do love you… you know that, right?"

Jake said, "I know you do. I love you too Bella but I love you in every way possible."

Jake picked his head up and looked into her eyes. It was dark now, which didn't phase Jake at all. Bella's vision was obstructed only slightly because it was a clear night which allowed the moon and stars to shine brightly. The light was cascading down on them in a beautiful glow allowing her to see him much easier.

Jake lifted Bella's sweater and placed kisses on her stomach causing her to become even more aroused. She couldn't understand how two men could affect her the way that they did. She scooted closer to Jake and he stood up to his full height. He pressed his face into hers and connected their foreheads, they were sharing the same air and they both loved the sensation it caused. Bella's heart was beating rapidly and Jake was aware of the affect he was having on her.

He said, "I have something that I need to ask you Bella."

"What, Jake?"

He looked deep into Bella's eyes and never lost eye contact with her. "Have you and Paul had sex?"

Bella whispered, "No Jake… I haven't."

Jake was relieved. He wanted desperately to undress her and make love to her, before it was too late for them to lose their virginity together, but he held back.

Bella continued, "Paul and I haven't had sex yet. I would have but he has been holding back, waiting for me to figure this all out."

Jake only heard that she hadn't had sex with Paul yet. He didn't hear anything else she had admitted. He said, "Good. That's a good thing."

Bella interrupted, "Jake… don't!"

Jake looked at Bella in question and asked, "What Bella? Don't what?"

Bella tried to explain. "It just feels like you are reading too much into the fact that Paul and I haven't had sex. It doesn't mean that we didn't want to; we just haven't."

Jake swallowed his anger and said, "I know that, but it means that you are still a virgin and that is what I needed to know."

Bella understood how important it was to Jake because it had always been important to both of them that they lose their virginity together. They had always wanted to be each other's first, but Bella wasn't so sure of anything these days.

Jake said, "I'm sorry that I couldn't talk to you over the past month… it wasn't my choice. I would have never done that to you if I could have helped it. You know that, don't you?"

Bella kissed the top of Jake's head and answered, "I know Jake. At the time I doubted your love but I know better now." She knew that she couldn't elaborate just yet.

Jake remained silent.

Bella said, "Do you remember when I was eight and you were seven and we went fishing with Charlie and Billy to that pond near your grandfather's old hunting cabin?"

Jake smiled weakly and said, "Yes. I remember."

Bella continued with her thought. "Well, do you remember what we carved on the side of that cabin?"

Jake replied, "Of course I remember. We carved, 'JAKE + BELLS FRIENDS 4-EVER!'. It's still there!"

Bella smiled and a tear rolled down her face. She said, "I always knew that you would be the constant in my life, but that day I had never been more sure of anything. I knew that you would always be my friend and I would never be alone… ever."

Jake said, "I am still your friend and I am still in your life Bells. We haven't seen each other very much over the past couple of months but I have held you close to my heart the entire time. I always think of you Bells… you are always with me in everything that I do."

Jake climbed up and sat next to her. He wrapped his right arm around her back and reached with his left hand to hold hers.

She turned to face him and he was looking down at her. He brought his lips down to hers and she let out a light moan. He loved hearing that but he was careful not to push too hard, too fast.

He whispered, "You are beautiful Bells. Do you know that? Every time I see you, I notice slight changes in you. You look so much older to me now; you truly are turning into a beautiful woman."

Bella smiled and said, "Thank you Jake. You are sort of beautiful yourself."

Jake laughed and for a second could have sworn he had heard her say that before, however he quickly realized that it was in fact the first time she had ever said it to him.

Bella got really quiet and Jake was concerned that she was thinking too hard. He was afraid that it couldn't be a good sign.

He said, "Stop Bells."

She looked up at him in question.

He said, "Stop thinking so hard… to yourself. Don't shut me off; I need to know what you are thinking. I need to know where we stand Bells."

Bella said, "I just know that I can't live in limbo like this. I can't stand the uncertainly anymore… I know that I have to make a decision and I am scared to death to hurt either one of you."

Jake said, "Well, I am not arguing the fact that you do need to make a decision but as for you not wanting to hurt us; that is something that you have lost control over. I am already hurt and as much as I hate Paul right now and find it hard to believe that he has changed; he is probably hurt by this too on some level. I'm sorry but I have to be honest with you Bells. I don't have it in me to sugarcoat that fact."

Bella's heart plummeted. "I don't want you to sugarcoat things for me Jake; I don't want you to make this easier on me. I have always loved the fact that you are honest with me."

Jake nodded. He said, "Look. I want you in my life. I want everything with you Bells and I am not afraid to fight for it. I have known you longer and loved you longer than anyone else. So much crap has happened in my life lately and I wish that I could explain it all to you, but I know that we wouldn't be going through this right now if things could have been different. My love for you hasn't wavered through all the changes and Lahote wouldn't even be in the picture if..." Jake knew he couldn't finish.

Bella knew that although Jake believed what he said was true, it actually wasn't the case at all. Paul had imprinted on her over Thanksgiving break. He would have never held back; he wouldn't have been able to. He had to be a part of her life and Bella knew that. She decided that now wasn't the time to say anything though; Jake didn't even know that she knew anything about the wolves.

Knowing that he couldn't finish his thought, Jake raised his voice. "Shit…"

Bella interrupted knowingly, "… it's okay Jake. You don't need to explain anything to me. I know that you wish things were different, so there is no reason to explain any further. I know that you would change the past month if it were possible to go back."

Jake said, "I would change so many things; starting with the, 'not drawing lines' conversation. I should have committed myself solely to you; I should have made sure you knew that you were the only one that I wanted and that I was happy to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Leah was paying attention to me and it did feel good because I was lonely without you, but I never wanted her over you and I should have made damn sure that you knew that. I should have never let you leave Forks feeling like we weren't in a committed relationship. That was shitty."

Bella placed her forefinger on Jake's plump lips and said, "Stop, Jake. That was a discussion that I was a part of. I could have asked you for a commitment but I didn't. I'm sure that you would have made the commitment if I would have expressed that I wanted that. I did want it but I was afraid to say it. I don't know why… I guess I was afraid that you would reject me and that would have felt much worse."

Jake shook his head.

Bella continued, "Besides, the what ifs don't do us any good Jake. We obviously can't change the past."

Jake shook his head and agreed. He said, "Well, I would give anything for a commitment today."

Bella didn't say anything. Jake said, "You said you still love me. Are you sure?"

Bella said, "Of course, I'm sure. I just love Paul too but I get so confused when I'm alone with you Jake."

Jake said, "Well, that tells me that there is still a chance for us Bells."

Jake lifted Bella up with ease and set her on her feet. He touched her face and she seemed receptive of his touch.

A tear slipped from Bella's eye, but she focused on Jake's touch and was surprisingly comforted by her lifelong friend. She slipped her arms around his waist but chose to keep a few inches of space between their bodies.

Jake could smell her arousal and he wanted her more than he ever had before. She closed her eyes and just let him slide the palms of his large, strong hands over her shoulders, down the sides of her arms, finally intertwining his fingers with hers. He squeezed her hands lightly before he released them and slowly reached around her body and untied the back of her sweater and let it fell around her waist. Jake removed his own shirt and pulled her against his strong chest and chiseled abs.

Jake's body felt amazing against hers and completely familiar which she totally felt comforting in a time of confusion. She laid her head back and Jake kissed and ran his teeth over her neck. She squeezed her eyes tightly and took in his scent and yelled, "STOP! No Jake! I can't do this." His scent was wrong… it wasn't Paul's scent and she immediately realized that she didn't want to be in Jake's arms… not like this. She wanted him in her life but as her friend and she could only hope that when he realized Paul had imprinted on her, he would understand all of this.

Jake asked, "Please, Bells… don't do this. Don't pull away from me."

Bella held her sweater up to cover herself and ran away from Jake trying her best to put distance between them so she could think. Jake threw his shirt on and ran towards her spinning her around to face him.

When Paul reached the point where he started, he grabbed his clothes and shoes, putting them on as quickly as he possibly could. He looked over at the dance floor but Jake and Bella were no where to be found. He calmed himself and listened for her heart beat. It was coming from down the beach a little way and it was beating crazily. Paul's heart was pumping hard, partly because he had witnessed their beach activities before; he sure as hell didn't want to walk into a scene like that. He couldn't imagine Bella doing anything like that with Jake tonight, but he knew that Jake would in a split second if she would allow it. He shook the thought from his mind.

Paul walked quickly toward the wild, yet beautiful strum calling his name. When he saw them, he stopped short. It looked like Jake had his hands on Bella's ass. "Oh, hell no!" Paul was running towards them now but he stopped quick when Bella slapped Jake's hands and pushed him away from her.

Jake said, "Bella, we were so good together. Don't you remember?"

Bella answered, "I do remember Jake but so much has happened since then. I loved you that way Jake… I really did. I still love you Jake; we shared something special and you are my childhood best friend. You helped me through so many things and I will never be able to express what that means to me Jake. I was there for you when your mom died and you were there for me when my mom left my dad. You were my first kiss, my first date and the first boy that I let touch me. You will always be special to me, but Jake… I can't be with you like that anymore… I can't go back to the way we were. I am with Paul now Jake… I'm sorry!"

Jake was immediately pissed off and he was quickly losing his cool. "Paul is a man whore Bella. I can't believe you are falling for his line of bullshit. I thought that you were smarter than that. He used your so called friendship to get in your pants and you let him. I can't believe you let him touch you the way that you did. When I think of all those orgasms you had with him, it makes me sick. Do you know how many women Paul has…"

Jake wasn't thinking clearly or he would have realized that Bella shouldn't understand how he could have known about their time in the forest.

Paul punched Jake in the mouth before he could finish his sentence. Paul said, "You son of a bitch… you will not speak to her that way! You will never lay your hands on her ever again either!"

Paul took in Bella's sight and realized that she was holding her sweater up over herself. She had obviously let something begin that she decided she didn't want. Paul was glad that she realized she didn't want it, but he was pissed as hell at Jake for thinking that he had a right to touch his imprint. Paul swallowed the majority of his anger for Bella's sake. He also tried to remember that Jake didn't know about the imprint yet.

He said, "I will let this go Jake, ONCE, because I know that you are acting out of the pain you are feeling right now but I won't let it go next time. I will beat the shit out of you and trust me, you will wish you were dead."

Paul shook his head, willing himself to stay calm and continue. "My life has completely changed Jake, not that I owe you any explanation. Bella knows everything there is to know about me; there's nothing you could tell her that I haven't already shared with her myself. I regret being with those women and I will never go back to that life style but that is my past."

Paul looked over at Bella and his stomach flipped over when he saw a tear slip down her cheek. He reached to hold her hand for support and thumbed her tear away. He continued, "I love Bella more than anything in the world, so I told her that it was her decision whether she wanted you back in her life or not. I told her that I would continue to be her best friend either way and that was the honest to God truth. She has made her decision though Jake and you are going to respect it! Go! Now! Get the hell out of here before I change my mind and kick your ass!"

Jake smirked and said, "Like you could. Please!"

Paul said, "I have no doubt that I could or that I will, but it's not going to happen right here in front of Bella. Do you think now is the time to fight Jake?"

Jake looked over and took a good look at Bella and said, "I'm sorry Bells."

He looked at Paul and said, "Later Lahote!" Jake ran down the beach and into the woods. He actually felt bad for Jake; he didn't want him to get hurt but if Paul and Bella stayed together it was inevitable.

Paul whispered, "Turn around honey." Paul tied the string on the back of her sweater.

Bella sucked in a gulp of air and said, "Oh God Paul… I'm sorry!"

Paul shook his head. "I'm sorry Vanilla Bean… I'm so sorry that I made you go through this. I was coming back to tell you that I was ready to give in to the pull… I was ready to stop fighting my wolf and let him work his magic. I should have known that you loving me was enough… I'm sorry baby. I'm so incredibly glad that you chose me before I got to you though; you will never know what this means to me. I needed you to choose me and you gave me that gift. I am the happiest man that has ever lived. I am also the luckiest and I will never take that fact for granted."

Bella jumped in Paul's arms and sobbed. She said, "I hurt him Paul. I didn't want to hurt him, but I knew that Jake and I could never be like we were again. You are in my heart and soul Paul; I only want your hands on me, I only want your lips on mine and I only want you inside me. I want you inside me more desperately than I have ever wanted anything Paul. Please Paul, take me home."

Paul kissed her deeply and she became weak at the knees. Paul held her around the waist and then lifted her into his arms to carry her to the car.

When they reached the group she whispered, "Let me down for a minute Paul."

Bella went over to Angela and said, "I'm sorry that what I did tonight upset you Angela. I assume Embry explained the situation to you."

Angela nodded. Bella continued, "Jake and I have always been very close, but I love Paul more than I love myself Angela. Paul knew what I was doing… he actually insisted that I figure out my feelings for Jake. I wasn't doing anything behind his back… Paul and I don't keep any secrets from one another."

Angela hugged Bella and thanked her for explaining. Bella added, "I know that now; you and I are going to be great friends. I will see you soon. Okay?"

Angela nodded and hugged Bella again. She whispered in Bella's ear, "Paul is going to let his wolf loose tonight. Right?"

Bella looked over at Paul and then down at her feet. "Yes. I think so."

Angela lifted Bella's chin so that she could look into her eyes. She said, "Don't be scared… Paul's wolf will never hurt you! It is amazing… don't fight it Bella, it is going to change your life… I promise!"

Bella looked concerned, "What are you talking about Angela?"

Angela said, "It has to happen. The wolf has to take part in this but I promise, you don't need to worry… I just wanted you to know that. Don't ask me any more questions Bella… talk to Paul. I am sure that he is ready to talk to you about it now."

Bella wanted her to explain what she meant. She wanted Angela to tell her in detail what to expect. She said, "Okay Angela. Thank you for telling me."

Paul lifted Bella again to carry her to the car. Quill and the younger wolves looked at them curiously. He knew that they had their suspicions but he wasn't quite ready to help them understand yet. Paul looked over at Sam and he nodded which let Paul know that he knew exactly what was going on. Paul briefly wondered how he knew but he pushed the thoughts away to focus on Bella and all that was in store for them tonight.

Paul put Bella in the car and they were back home within five minutes. Bella's heart had begun to race and Paul knew that she was feeling extremely nervous about what would take place between them tonight. He had only given her a few little hints about his wolf but she had no idea what he was actually talking about. He was finally letting his wolf loose and she knew that she would meet him that night.

No worries. I am posting part 2 today!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

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	22. Ch21 Pt2 '50 Shades of Paul's Pink Haze'

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY – Part Two

'50 SHADES OF PAUL'S PINK HAZE'

PLEASE NOTE…

THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SEX TALK IN THIS CHAPTER. THERE WILL WORDS OF LOVE ALONG WITH CURSE WORDS SAID IN THE HEAT OF PASSION. IT WILL BE DESCRIPTIVE USING SEXUAL TERMS AND SUCH AND VIVID IF I CAN MANAGE THAT. I HAVE READ MUCH WORSE AND I MIGHT EVEN WRITE WORSE AT SOME POINT, BUT THIS STILL MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FOR SOME… A BIT ANIMALISTIC I GUESS… HE IS A WOLF.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT OR IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN YOU SHOULDN'T READ IT… I AM GIVING YOU FAIR WARNING!

Come sit with me in the living room Vanilla Bean. We need to talk… don't we?"

Bella looked down at her hands which were twisting in circles in her lap. She said, "Yes! Angela told me not to be scared tonight. She said your wolf had to be a part of what happens tonight, but not to be afraid… she said that your wolf would never hurt me. What is she talking about?"

Paul had overheard Angela whispering to Bella so he knew this question was coming.

Paul reached and lifted Bella's chin, turning her so that she could look into his eyes. He proceeded to explain the best way he knew how. "You are going to have to trust me and believe what Angela told you. I love you and my wolf loves you but Bella when I let go and accept the imprint the wolf will become very present within me. I won't phase here in the house or anything but his wants and needs will consume me. The thing is, I have held him back for a long time… I imprinted on you over a month and wolves are impatient creatures my nature. Because he has been made to wait, his need for you has become more extreme than the usual wolf's for his imprint, so I am trying desperately to keep him calm. I won't allow him to become too rough with you Bella. I will control him until you ask me to completely let him loose. Don't be afraid; I will find a way to stay in control even after I let him loose. I would never do anything that might harm you."

Bella looked down and noticed that Paul's hands were trembling. She took his hands in her and responded honestly. "I'm scared Paul."

Paul said, "Don't be Vanilla Bean. The power of the wolf will calm you, just let it consume you and try to focus on my face when you get nervous. I love you honey!"

Bella replied, "I love you too Paul!"

Bella did as Paul said and focused on his face because she was plenty nervous… she looked deeply into his dark brown, sexy eyes; they were drinking her in. Soon she saw a complete calmness wash over his face, followed by an intense passion, his eyes turned almost black with what she thought looked like need. It felt like the room was thick with some sort of powerfully intense warmth that seemed to consume her from the inside out. She felt Paul's hands reach for her, she sensed the ache he was experiencing. The beautiful pain that she felt was magical.

Her core was throbbing with need for Paul. She wanted to be filled by him and she hoped that she didn't have to wait long.

Paul had always been very loving and gentle with her but she had a distinct feeling that tonight he was going to be more rough… more thorough. He told her and Angela told her that Paul's wolf wouldn't hurt her though and somehow she believed them. She somehow felt that Angela had even suggested that she be submissive and let the magic consume her. Angela hadn't said it in those exact words but that was basically what Bella had taken from what she said.

Paul's hands became hotter to the touch and his strength was a little more apparent; he wasn't as careful or patient. He seemed more forceful, anxious… restless even, but his love for her was transparent to her.

Paul grabbed her tightly and said, "I want everything with you tonight Bella. You are mine and I want to show you why you made the right decision. I am going to make you feel things that you haven't even dreamt about. It worries me a little that you are an innocent, so tight and so raw but I am so happy about that. The thought of another man penetrating you, would just be too much for me to fathom. Forgive me for not knowing that I should have waited for you Bella… forgive me for being with other women." Bella looked into his eyes and silently nodded. Paul continued, "I am so sorry but I promise that from now on I am yours totally and completely. I will never stray… not even in thought Bella. We are going to be united in an unbreakable bond tonight Bella."

Paul lifted Bella and laid her out on the floor. He looked at her with his black needful eyes and said, "Everything sexual that we have experienced up until this point will never compare to what we will experience tonight. You will be consumed by the power of the imprint. My wolf is going to claim you Bella and mark you as his own. When that happens his DNA will be mixed with yours and your senses will become stronger just like his, which will cause you to feel everything we do more intensely. Do you understand?"

Bella hung on two words. She asked, "Mark me? I'm scared Paul."

Paul replied, "Don't be. Let the warmth consume you, let it fill your mind, body, heart and soul. Let it creep into your core and prepare you for what is in store for you tonight. Try to relax Vanilla Bean."

In that moment Bella noticed a change in the air… it had become even thicker with a beautiful warmth that seemed to massage them in every crevice of their bodies; it was a powerful and the emotional need that she felt was unmistakable. The warmth was encircling them; soon she felt it enter her core and fill her completely. It was consuming her; Paul's need was consuming her and she was sure that it was the most amazing feeling a human could experience. Her body was tingling from the inside out, like a magical electric current was running through her veins. She hoped that the feeling she was experiencing would last for hours.

"Please Paul, don't ever let this end; I never want this feeling to subside." Bella insisted.

Paul replied, "Shhhhh. Trust me baby, this will last for hours and when it is over, all you will want to do is collapse in my arms and allow sleep to take over your body. Trust me Bella, this will be a night that you will never forget."

Paul immediately, without hesitation pulled his jeans off, then he roughly removed Bella's jeggings from her body. In one swift movement Paul tore her sweater completely from her body; he ripped it right down the front with absolutely no regret whatsoever.

He said, "I will buy you as many sweaters as you want… I couldn't wait another second to feel my body against yours."

Bella looked at Paul's body and noticed a change in him that frightened her.

She said, "Paul you have grown, you are impossibly large… is it because of your wolf?"

Paul answered, "Yes. I will try to be easy at first Bella and won't give you the full length until you ask me for it. Try to trust me baby."

Paul dug his fingers into Bella's skin, it hurt a little but it felt completely scrumptious; Bella loved being needed in such magnitude. She reached behind Paul and pulled his knit shirt over his head. She dug her nails into his rock hard chest breaking the skin there. Paul growled and his black eyes rolled up into his head.

She surprised herself. "I don't know what came over me Paul."

He replied, "I do! I loved it Bella… don't hold back anything, don't fight it. Do or say whatever comes naturally to you baby… don't think, just react." Bella nodded but didn't say a word.

Paul held her body against his and the need he felt was greater than anything he had ever experienced. He took her lips into his mouth and sucked them vigorously. His wolf was in a frenzy and he wanted desperately to just let him go completely, however he was still very aware of Bella and her innocence; he just couldn't bring himself to do it… not yet.

Paul slowed the pace for a moment however Bella knew that this was only a momentary pause; soon he wouldn't be able to control himself so easily. How she knew this, she wasn't sure.

Paul pressed his fingers firmly into her back, as he kissed her lips lightly. He inhaled her scent as he made his trail. His nose began it's incredible descent beginning on her cheek bone moving ever so slowly across her jaw line. He hesitated there only for a second before moving on to her throat, his destination being her collarbone.

He said, "You smell amazing Bella… your hair, your blood, your arousal. Everything about you calls to me." Paul sucked and gnawed at her collarbone until his entire body was trembling with need. He whispered, "My wolf has specific plans for this part of your neck Bella." Bella's heart rate sped up dramatically after hearing his admission.

Paul whispered deeply, "Breath through the anxiety baby. Don't be scared, embrace the night and I promise it will be amazing."

Paul continued, "I know that you are an innocent Bella. Your core is soft and pink from never being touched by a man. A large part of me

regrets that your first time won't be sweet and gentle; I would have caressed you and eased you though every step of this but I knew that it was destined to happen this way. My wolf has needs Bella and I have refused him for a long time now. He is becoming more and more impatient and soon he will take over completely and it will be hard for me to explain things to you as they happen. I will try my best to help him remember that this is your first time. Try to focus on the magic encircling us, the warmth filling your core and I promise, you will experience more pleasure that you could possibly imagine. My wolf loves you Bella; yes, his need is at the forefront tonight but he chose you as his mate and he will protect you forever. I will protect you forever Vanilla Bean."

With those words Paul lifted Bella up, off the floor swiftly and spun her around. He laid her back on the kitchen island and roughly separated her legs. He stuck his nose in her cunt and began to growl with need.

Bella looked up at the ceiling and for a moment she focused on the pendant hanging above her. She lifted her knees, placing her heels on the edge of the counter but that wasn't exactly what Paul wanted. He pulled her ass closer to the edge and placed her legs over his shoulders.

Paul spoke to her crazily, "You cunt smells so good, I want your cream all over my face. I can feel my shaft growing just from smelling you." Again Bella's heart began to race. He placed his hand over her heart and slowed it down for her a bit. It amazed Bella how well Paul was reading her. He said, "Breathe baby." Bella nodded silently.

Paul began to massage her breasts but this time it was not with ease. It was rough and hot; although it was painful it was completely delicious and Bella moaned under his touch. This encouraged Paul to push further. He feverishly rubbed her nipples with his thumbs and found her clit with his tongue. Her climax began and this time when she began to orgasm Paul placed three fingers inside her all at once without warning. He was not being gentle, he was needful so he began to pump them fervently which caused her to immediately tense from the abrupt pain. Paul didn't stop and he didn't say a word, he simply placed his large, hot palm on her lower stomach and massaged lightly. In seconds she was having the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced.

In a deep gruff whisper Paul said, "You are pulsing around my fingers Bella. I can hardly wait for your core to squeeze and milk me of all of the hot fluid I have built up for you. I am going to release my hot semen in you, heating you in the most delicious way imaginable." Again Bella's anxiety increased listening to what he was saying. Her mind was still thinking rationally; it was hard for her to just let go because she worried that Paul couldn't think clearly right now and she thought one of them should be responsible.

Paul sensed what she was thinking and said, "Don't worry… my wolf will not impregnate you the night that he claims you. The legends say that it is impossible and thousands of years have proven that legend to be true." Bella nodded but didn't speak a word; she trusted Paul so she just went with it.

Paul picked Bella up and carried her over to the wall. He lifted her with ease, putting her back against the wall causing Bella too wrap her legs around Paul's waist. As her bare mound made contact with Paul, he let out a desperate moan that he in no way tried to hide from her. He began to roughly kiss her causing her lips to ache but she didn't want him to stop. She focused on breathing out of her nose because she knew that Paul wasn't going to come up for air anytime soon and she really didn't want him too.

Paul had Bella's breasts in his extremely large hands kneading them forcefully without a moment's pause. He squeezed them from underneath and began sucking her nipples hard, one at a time until her pink nipples were red. He lifted one of her legs and placed it over his shoulder so that he could lubricate her cunt before he swiftly entered three fingers into her core again. He knew that he needed to work on preparing her for the moment that he penetrated her the way she longed to be filled. He pumped his fingers in and out of her mercilessly.

Bella began to beg. "Deeper Paul… please, pump faster and harder! Fuck me with your fingers! Ugh!" Bella's words caused Paul to become even more crazed than he already was, he obeyed her command and loved how freely she spoke to him. He placed his ear on her chest so that he could hear and feel the effect he was having on her even more clearly.

As Paul continued to thrust his fingers in and out of her core Bella began to orgasm again. She screamed, "Ugh! Shit Paul… Every… Single… orgasm is better than the last. How do you do that?" As she descended from her orgasm he answered her, "You haven't seen anything yet… just wait for what I have in store for you."

In that moment exhaustion took over her body and she fell into Paul's arms but there was no way in hell he was going to let her pass out yet. Paul placed kisses all over her face. He could smell her scent on his face and it continued to drive him crazier and crazier.

Paul said, "Kiss me Bella." Paul grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. He growled, "You smell so sweet… can you smell yourself on my face. Can you taste your juices on my tongue?"

Bella nodded vigorously and answered deeply, "Yes, Paul." Bella bit and sucked at Paul's plump lips in between each deep kiss. Paul loved the fact that she was into what he was saying to her.

He placed heated, open mouthed kisses all over her face. In between each kiss he told her that he loved her. He told her he loved her at least twenty times before he was ready to get back at it. His wolf was still extremely needy… he hadn't gotten what he was desperately demanding.

Paul asked, "Are you happy Vanilla Bean?"

Bella answered honestly, "Yes, but I still need you inside me desperately. Please Paul… when are you going to give me what I yearn for? I'm hungry Paul… I need you to feed me what I want."

A deep, desperate uncontrolled growl came from deep within Paul. He loved the openness Bella was displaying verbally and he knew that the thickness around them was in fact helping her mood as it was intended to do. Bella reached out and dug her nails into Paul's chest again leaving a long claw mark. She was trying to get what she wanted from Paul or Paul's wolf…whichever part of him was willing to give it to her the fastest.

Paul moved her to the floor again and laid her out on her back. He went down on her so that he could lubricate her but she had cream oozing from her core so he quickly realized that it wasn't necessary; however he loved tasting her so he was perfectly happy caressing her with his tongue before he moved on. He licked some of the cream that filled her cunt before moving up to kiss her again. He found it erotic kissing her with her cream in his mouth and she seemed to be getting into it as well. He asked, "Do you like that?" Bella nodded dramatically but couldn't seem to form a coherent thought. Paul continued, "I swear I could eat you out every fucking second of the day… it is better than candy."

Bella looked into Paul's eyes encouraging him to move forward. She was biting her bottom lip in anticipation and Paul thought the look on her face was completely perfect… she was ready!

Paul placed his warm hand on her stomach between her navel and her bare mound. He let his warmth radiate through her and he felt all of her muscles relax. His wolf was becoming exceedingly intolerant of how much time he was taking.

Paul yelled out, "OKAY… I AM!" At first Bella didn't know what he was yelling at her about, she hadn't said a word but then she realized that Paul had a struggle going on within him. A struggle between man and wolf.

In that moment he entered his head just barely inside her core, causing a loud groan to escape her lips. Paul watched her facial expression closely, a single tear slipped down the side of her face and landed on the carpet. Paul kissed it's trail but knew that he had to press forward. Suddenly the room filled up with a magical, pink haze. It was warm and soothing and beautiful.

Paul said, "Breath it in Bella… inhale deeply."

Bella did as she was told and she became lost in everything that was Paul. Everywhere he touched tingled.

He said, "When it hurts, inhale deeply… the pink haze is to soothe you Bella." Paul found her clit and pinched it between his index finger and thumb as he pushed his shaft deeper into her core.

"I AM!" Paul yelled. Bella's heart almost jumped out of her chest but she remembered what Paul said and she inhaled as deeply as she possibly could. He was right it was extremely calming… much more than the margaritas she drank earlier in the night.

Paul did as his wolf demanded pushed himself further into her core. He began to move his shaft in and out of her core, he wasn't actually being easy but he was trying not to thrust roughly quite yet. Paul continued to watch Bella's expressions and again a tear slipped down the side of her face just as it had done only moments before.

He said, "Breath Vanilla Bean… breath deeply!"

Bella replied, "I'm okay Paul… I promise."

He explained, "My wolf trying to take complete control of my actions tonight and it is becoming desperately hard to hold on. If I don't let him win this battle, I am afraid that he will become even more fervent and rough with you."

Bella touched Paul's cheek and replied, "It's okay Paul… just let go!"

Paul let his wolf have more control; he was barely holding him by a thread but Paul was still alert and ready to pull the reins if he needed to. Without a moments pause he jammed his shaft into her and began thrusting over and over; her virginity or lack of experience in general was not even his wolf's concern in that moment… he had a purpose for what he was doing and nothing or no one was going to harness him anymore.

Bella could see how black Paul's eyes had become… the need he had for her was completely transparent. Each thrust ached but she loved every second of it. She was breathing heavily so the pink haze was making her dizzy with need for him.

Paul looked down, noticing the blood that had seeped our of her core… it was evidence of her innocence… evidence of the virginity he had just taken from her. He didn't bring attention to it but he knew that it must be painful.

He said, "Breath deeply… don't forget to breath." Bella nodded.

Paul began to thrust harder and deeper, and with each thrust he was awarded with his name, a moan or a grunt.

She said, "Paul, you fill me so completely. Pound your shaft into me Paul; dig deeper and thrust into me as hard as you can. Your cock is enormous and so hard that I think I might die with each thrust but I need it so desperately Paul."

Bella had become crazy with need; she was accepting of everything that Paul was giving her. She was moaning and verbally begging … she was using all of the words that he had taught her out by the pond before Jake's wolf showed up. She knew precisely what to call each and every body part she wanted Paul to touch.

Paul flipped Bella over and she landed on her knees roughly. He entered her core swiftly from behind and he thrust himself inside her relentlessly, never once concerning himself with finesse… it was obvious she no longer wanted to be treated with tenderness; she was far past that now and he was glad.

Paul pulled out and she groaned in disapproval; she cried out because of the desertion she immediately felt.

Paul said, "Shhhh." She obeyed as Paul cleaned her up with his tongue, taking care of all of the remnants left behind due to the loss of her innocence. He growled as his eyes rolled up in his head; the scent of her blood and the taste of her blood combined with the cream that had collected in her core drove him crazy. Cleaning her absolutely drove his wolf insane with need. He wondered if caring for her in that way was a mistake… it was somewhat primal and his wolf became overwhelmed with passion within seconds; he became wild.

Paul thrust his cock inside her again; he pulled himself out until his head barely slipped out of her cunt before thrusting deep inside her again. He did this repeatedly without restraint. He was being rough with her even though he knew it would be painful but he hoped she would be receptive to it because he needed it… he had to have it his way now. He saw her deeply inhale and immediately recognized the calmness that swept across her face.

Suddenly, Paul pulled out and pressed his shaft against an entrance that had never even been touched before. Her cream was coated all over his long, thick shaft so he knew that there was plenty of lubrication there. She seemed to be enjoying the pressure he put there, although he noticed that she was inhaling and exhaling deeper breaths, one behind the other. It seemed she was preparing herself for what she expected would happen.

Suddenly Paul yelled loudly, "HELL NO WOLF! FUCK THAT…FORGET ABOUT IT!"

Bella's eyes grew as big as saucers. Bella was aware of the struggle going on within Paul and she felt pained that he was having to endure it. Paul couldn't see Bella's face but he had to trust his senses. He said, "I'm sorry Vanilla Bean… Just inhale deeply again…very slowly. Take in as much of the haze as you can just in case I can't stop him."

Bella nodded and obeyed. She was frightened but she knew that whatever happened was between her and Paul so it was completely beautiful.

Paul yelled, "NO!" Suddenly the wolf backed off and Paul flipped her onto her back again before violently penetrating her core again. He lifted her legs in the air, digging himself more deeply into her, pounding against her clit with each thrust. Soon Bella began her climax and become completely dizzy; consumed by the pink haze, Paul and his wolf; it felt amazingly perfect in everyway.

They tugged, pulled, clawed and bit at one another as Paul continued to thrust himself in and out of her core for the next hour. She had never felt so alive and completely consumed by anyone or anything before. Paul read her body so easily, as if he had read a 'how to manual' on her or something.

He made her feel full, completely full and he was right about the pink haze, it did make everything on her tingle and it calmed her in a beautiful, yet eerie kind of way.

Soon Bella's climax was at it's peak and when she reached it, Paul reached his too and just as he promised he released all of the hot semen he had stored up for her. She could feel him pulsing inside her core and with each pulse she was granted with another hot wet sensation against the walls of her center. They were both screaming and moaning throughout their entire orgasms and every single nerve within their bodies tingled.

Before Bella's orgasm was over, Paul raised her up toward him and placed his nose on her collarbone. He inhaled deeply and whispered, "Inhale deeply Vanilla Bean." Bella inhaled the mystic pink haze and immediately felt relaxed, Her core was still pulsing due to the most intense orgasm known to man, so was still feeling somewhat dazed.

Paul whispered, "I love you Vanilla Bean." Bella inhaled another time and that was when it happened…

Paul sank his teeth into the skin on her collarbone. He didn't let go too quickly, it seemed he was really relishing the moment; embracing it entirely. It hurt like hell, however more than that it felt amazingly erotic… on a sexual and an emotional level. It seemed very compulsive but in fact, Paul's wolf had already planned this out and Paul had known it all along. It was possessive but Bella didn't mind that Paul felt that way about her, the truth was… she had come to feel exactly the same way about him.

Bella was covered in Paul's sweat and Paul was covered in her cream, which it seemed he had been determined to make sure he lathered himself in. The entire house smelled of sex and Bella felt certain that any wolf in the vicinity would recognize the importance of keeping their distance from the house.

Paul pulled Bella into his arms and cradled her; looking into her face he said, "I love you Vanilla Bean. I love you more than anything in the entire world. I could never live without you Bella…dying would be so much easier than that."

Paul stood up with her in his arms and carried her up the stairs to 'their' room.

He said, "Now we are connected for life. I am yours, you are mine… we are united as one." A tear slipped down Bella's cheek as she smiled listening to Paul, but before she could respond verbally, she passed out in his arms.

Paul took her into the bathroom and got into the garden tub with her. He cleaned them both as he held her in his arms; he even managed to wash and condition their hair. He dried them off, put ointment on her marking and he put her to bed with him. Her naked body felt perfect pulled up tightly against his. He whispered how much he loved her and made promises of what their lives would be like together. Within ten minutes he was asleep with her in his arms with no plans of waking up to an alarm.

His last thought before sleep took him was, 'I want Grandfather to meet Bella.'

Thank goodness for the pink haze…

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	23. Chapter 23

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

'HELP ME FORGET!'

Again, this chapter is hot and steamy, because let's face it… even the Paul lovers can't help loving Jake!

If you are under eighteen or you are offended by descriptive sex, please don't read this chapter.

There is a quick summary of the chapter at the bottom of the page, so if you choose not to read the chapter you won't miss any important details.

JAKE'S POV

Shit! I never expected things to go down the way they did tonight. I mean, yes… I did hear them going at it in the house and yes… I could smell her sweet cream all over Paul's fucking face but I still thought; I still hoped. What in the hell is wrong with me?

Paul acted like I was going to force myself on Bella or something… crazy bastard. The truth is that I still love her and I would never force myself on her or any other girl for that matter. I was just trying to convince her… I was trying to remind her, but shit… they are serious and Paul obviously will do anything he can to protect her. Weird… it's almost like that man whore has morphed into a nice guy; or a son of a bitch, however you want to look at it. He almost acts as protective as Embry is over Angela. Go figure!

I'm running now and I'm not really sure where I'm going. I didn't even phase; I just decided to run in human form with my clothes on because I have no idea where I am going to end up… or do I.

I have basically been thrown to the curb by the only girl I have ever truly wanted; thrown fucking out like a banana peel. She is with Lahote now and I don't see what I can do about it right now. Part of me knows there is no way in hell this is over, but another part of me just needs to find someone who can make me forget everything… even if it is just for the night.

I'm a virgin right now but tonight that is all going to change if there is anything I can do about it. Lahote used to find comfort in sex… maybe it will work for me too. The older wolves can't seem to get enough sex from their girl friends or imprints; maybe it is something that I could feed on for a while, something other than dwelling on a girl that clearly wants someone else. I don't owe her anything anymore… I don't need to save myself for her now. I know she is far past saving herself for me.

I see Sam's truck lights and he is dropping Leah off. I thought I had seen them slip off for a while tonight talking; I guess they hooked up but from where I stand, it really doesn't look like he even got to second base with her. He walks her to her door and gives her a peck on the lips, but it almost seems friendly. Obviously, nothing major has happened between them yet, so I doubt she considers them a couple yet, even if they hit it off tonight. It is early and he is already dropping her off at her house and I know for a fact that Leah Clearwater doesn't have a curfew. She is the same age as Paul and Embry, which is four years older than me. Sam must be taking things slow with her because he is quite a bit older than her.

All the lights are off, there isn't even a nightlight on in the house so I can only assume that she will be the only one at home tonight. I hope that's the case because I need to be alone with her… I need this and I don't want it from some bimbo. God knows I don't need Leah to lose my virginity but being with someone who I actually care about, verses some nameless woman seems far better to me.

Sam is pulling away as Leah unlocks the door and hurries in. I give her about ten minutes to get settled before I approach the house.

I knock on the door three times and I hear her running down the stairs. She opens the door wearing a very short, silky black gown with a matching short robe; it barely covers the cheeks of her tight ass. Most of her breasts are exposed and she looks amazing. Her breasts are full and perky, while her skin is a beautiful russet color. I have never looked at Leah quite this way. I have always known she was beautiful, but I just never really expected I would actually take this step with her; even though I knew that she wanted it.

She was probably expecting Sam when I knocked; I know Leah and although Sam would want to take it slow, Leah wouldn't want that at all. I know for a fact that Leah has had her fair share of experience in the sex department. She oozes sex appeal and everyone… girls and guys are aware of it; that is why Bella was jealous of her and worried about her being near me while she went back to Jacksonville. Women's intuition is what they call it… all girls seem to have it from what I can tell. I couldn't blame Bells though because I felt the same way about Paul at the time; all the women want Paul and that scared the hell out of me. It is quite ironic that what we both feared would happen seems to be coming true. I shake the thought and focus again on Leah.

Leah's perky breasts and erect nipples stand at attention and they are calling my name. I can't help myself; my eyes travel from her cleavage slowly down her amazing body to her hot pink toenails and back up to her breasts before I am finally able to tear them away to look into her eyes. Once my eyes settle on her face, I find a satisfied smirk splayed across it.

"Jake!" She is surprised to see me standing here. Hell, I'm surprised I'm here myself.

"Can I come in?" I ask trying not to show any expression on my face, however I am certain that my eyes are very dark with need. My wolf is stirring within me, he is wanting a little action tonight also.

She backs up to give me plenty of room to enter. "Come in. You are a little sweaty Jake. You still smell good though… you always do. You smell like Curve cologne, with just a hint of musk."

This is going good! She is receptive to my being here.

"Do you mind if I take my jacket and sweater off?"

Leah shakes her head no and her heart rate picks up so much that I'm concerned it might jump right out of her chest. She reacts sexually to me… it is obvious; yet on the outside she acts completely cool and collected.

I take my jacket off and pull my sweater over my head leaving only my tight black tee-shirt on. I know that my shirt is wet and clinging to my muscles, which is why Leah is looking at me like she could devour me right now.

She says, "Maybe you should take your t-shirt off too; I will throw them in the dryer for you."

I do as she suggests and stand before her shirtless; happily letting her eyes scan over my muscular body. She licks her lips. Another good sign that this is going well.

She walks into the laundry room to throw my shirt and sweater in the dryer as I say, "I assume that you are the only one at home tonight. Am I right?"

Leah answers from the next room. "Yes, I am the only one here. Seth is staying over with Colin and Brody's house, and mom is at Charlie's. She seems to spend most nights there these days; sometimes I feel as though I live alone. Seth is only here part of the time… he has been spending a lot of time with friends and when he is home he stays locked in his room… typical teenage stuff. His little girlfriend occupies a lot of his time too."

I nod and say, "You and Sam… huh?" Is it serious?"

Leah is leaning against the wall comfortably, with the ball of her left foot propped on the top of her right foot and she is fidgeting with the belt on her little robe. Her robe falls off of her left shoulder but she doesn't even move or attempt to cover her bare shoulder; I hear a growl come from deep inside me and I hope to God that she didn't hear it as well.

She answers my question honestly. "Well, I couldn't wait on you forever Jake. I like Sam a lot; I think that it could turn into something serious, but we obviously haven't made any commitments yet. Tonight is the first night we have ever really spent time getting to know one another. I expected him to be more impatient and want to move fast though; he still looks at me like a young girl I think, so it's going to take some time to change his outlook. Why do you ask? What is up with you and the pack princess? Everyone seems to love her… you, now Paul; hell, even Seth thinks she hung the moon."

It's my turn to answer honestly. "Well, she says that she is in love with Paul and that she has chosen to be with him, but I still love her. I'll be honest with you Leah, if she ever gives me any indication that she wants me back; I will run to her without thinking twice about it. I know me and I know that I will always choose her."

I pause. I am sure that Leah knows that I have more to say, so she asks. "What are you doing here Jake? What do you want with me?"

I answer, "I am glad that you are spending time with Sam and I hope that the two of you will take the next step, if that is what you both want but…"

Leah questions me, "But what Jake?"

I try to answer truthfully without sounding like a complete prick. However, I know where I am going with this and I feel sure that not sounding like a prick is impossible. "I just want to forget everything for a while Leah. You know what I'm saying; you know exactly what I want from you. You will be pleased; I can promise you that."

I know that she is considering the offer; I know that she has wanted this from me ever since I started growing in preparation for my transformation. Can she be happy with casual sex though? Will that be enough for her, because that is all I can offer her right now.

Leah says, "You aren't thinking clearly, Jake. You are just hurt."

I answer passionately, "Yes… she hurt me, that's no secret but I know what I want. I'm sure that I sound like a complete asshole but this is what I want from you. I know I haven't responded to you in the way you have wanted me to, but I have just been so fucking in love with that girl that I couldn't possibly choose to be with anyone over her. Things have changed now though and I don't have to be faithful to her anymore… she is probably fucking Paul as we speak. I love Bella, but I refuse to dig a hole and crawl in it. I am going to live life. I know that I could have a lot of different women if I wanted them; I see the way they look at me, but I don't want some nameless woman. I would rather be with someone that I care about. I am perfectly fine with you continuing a relationship with Sam… I am not asking for a commitment or even a relationship Leah, other than friendship and comfort. I know you want it. I can smell your arousal; there is probably cream running down the insides of your thighs right now." I look down at her hands and say, "You have been fidgeting with that belt on your robe for the last five minutes now; I know that you want to untie it and surrender to your own desires. I can sense how I make you feel."

Leah looks surprised by my words and asks, "Jake, aren't you a virgin? You don't act like… I mean, I thought you were…"

I interrupt her and confirm what I know she is thinking . "… yes, I am but trust me... I have what you want and I know exactly what to do with it. I also know exactly how to satisfy your needs Leah. I have absolutely no doubt that I can exceed any expectations you may have."

Leah says, "Jake…"

I interrupt, "Leah, stop! Don't over think this; just do what you know you want to do. I want us just to do what we want and not think about anything… I just want us to go with what I know we are both feeling right now." I pause before I continue, "You've been with quite a few men, haven't you?"

Leah nodded.

I continue, "It has been a while though. Am I right?"

Leah nodded again.

I don't mean to smirk when I add, "From what you said, it might be a while longer with Sam." Leah rolls her eyes.

I ask, "Are you okay with this being casual sex? That is all I can offer you; I am too screwed up in the head for anything more than that right now. I wanted to talk to you about this before jumping into it…. if you need more than that, tell me now; I don't want to hurt you Leah."

Leah answers but she hopes that she is not going to screw herself up. "Okay, Jake. I understand what you're saying and I am fine with it. Friends?"

I smile and say, "Yes, but very friendly."

Leah's POV

I let my eyes fall back on Jake's chest and my mouth literally begins to salivate; I freaking hope that I'm not drooling like some puppy. Jake's body is amazing; I have seen him like this a million times, shirtless I mean, but I have never touched his body the way that I have longed to… only in thought and in dreams that I have had.

I place my hands over his strong shoulders and squeeze. I run my hands over his well defined pecs and let my finger trails run over his washboard stomach, noticing the feel of the trail line of hair below his naval, creating a perfect map to the place I long to see and touch.

Jake's POV

I untie the belt of Leah's robe and slip it off her shoulders. Looking down at her cleavage makes me long to see all of her. I reach for the hem of her gown and pull it over her head. She is standing in front of me perfectly nude and beautiful. She says, "I don't ever wear panties, and you were right, the insides of my thighs are wet; the moisture is pooling between my legs and it feels amazing. I am so fucking turned on I think I might burst. It has been nearly a month since I have been with anyone."

I smile because her arousal is unmistakable… she hasn't told me anything that my nose hasn't already figured out. I know that I am already making her feel hotter than she has felt in a very long time. She says, "I have wanted this for so long Jake… I have pictured you while I was having sex with other men… too many times to count."

I crash my mouth into hers and kiss her deeply and wildly until we are both out of breath. My tongue is in total control of her mouth now and I can tell that she loves it. She bites my bottom lip and I taste blood; which in turn ignites me, causing me to push harder to get everything I want.

I hastily look over at the kitchen table and notice that there are only napkins, salt and pepper there. I run my arm across the table and deliberately knock everything in the floor. I pick Leah up with ease and lay her on top of the table roughly. I pull her to the edge of it, giving myself full access to what I want.

I kneel at the end of the table with her cunt staring me in the face and I begin licking the insides of her legs and she moans the entire time. As I do this, she produces more and more cream which is fine with me because I am more than happy to lap it all up. I suck the moisture from her cunt and find her clit with my tongue. I begin to massage it expertly as I have seen in the older wolves minds over the past month. Some of them didn't take care to keep their thoughts to themselves so I took advantage of it. It was very educational and tonight it would benefit Leah. Being educated by my brothers in this way has kept me tied in knots for the last month. I have never jacked off so much in all my life.

Leah begins to climax. "Fuck Jake… you don't seem like a virgin to me at all." I smile between her legs and in no time, she has a full blown orgasm and releases even more of that sweet cream that tastes so amazing. I know now that if she will let me, we will be doing this way more often than just tonight.

When Leah finishes, I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder making her squeal as I slap her ass. I lay her out on the floor in the living room and place her legs over my shoulders, giving her another orgasm effortlessly. She is breathing heavily now but I am just getting warmed up good.

I take her legs off of my shoulders and unzip my pants. I stand up and pull my jeans and boxers off in one swift motion, letting my member spring free right in front of her. Her breath catches and she looks hungry… for me. She says, "Oh dear Lord Jake. You are incredible, don't move!"

She gets up on her knees and does her best to take my full length into her mouth. She is an expert… it's obvious. "I give a great blow job Jake. Hold on tight… wrap your fingers through my hair." I do as she requests and watch her take me in and out of her mouth again. She grabs my ass and sucks so hard that I think she might swallow me whole.

She says, "Thrust yourself in my throat Jake… you won't hurt me."

I begin to thrust … digging myself as deep as I think she can handle.

"Leah… Leah! I'm gonna blow… get off!"

She replies, "No, Jake… just let go! I want to do this… you'll love it!"

I begin to unload into her throat and she never gags once. My eyes are squeezed tightly and I know that they are rolled back into my head. It feels amazing! As my climax reaches it's peak and I fall over the edge, I yell. "Fuck! You're awesome Leah! We should have been doing this all along."

She actually seems to really enjoy doing it and she is right… she gives a great blow job. Of course, I have only ever had one to compare it to. It was from some nameless girl in a skimpy bathing suit; it was at a party a year ago, in a moment of weakness; she thought I was eighteen and I didn't tell her any different. What she did that night didn't even begin to hold a candle to what Leah was doing. I kneel down in front of Leah and she kisses me. She is moaning into my mouth now; her breath is hot and I love it. As we kiss all I can taste and smell is sex… it makes me want more.

"Why did we wait so long to do this? Damn girl." I ask.

She answers, "I have never turned you down Jake. You are the one who has held us back." I know she was right but I don't say anything.

I pick her up and carry her upstairs to her bedroom, throw her on the bed and climb on. In one swift motion I penetrate myself deep inside her. I don't even check to make sure that she is wet enough or finger her to prepare her for my intrusion; I know that she can handle it… this isn't her first rodeo. I am confident that she will be fine.

I slam my cock inside her repeatedly before pulling out of her and flip her over so I can fuck her doggy style. I slam into her from behind and relentlessly pump in and out of her for the next forty-five minutes. "You are on the pill, aren't you?"

She answers quickly, "Yes, of course! No worries."

She crawls out of our current position and climbs on top of me. She lets her breasts, full and perky hang in my face and I gladly lick and suck them as she works me over. She is gyrating her hips back and forth and in a circular motion; grabbing my long, thick shaft with each movement; doing her best to milk me of the semen that will soon shoot into her core. I can feel her clit rubbing roughly at the base of my cock and in no time her climax is building and this time, I'm going to let loose with her. She screams, "God, you fill me up Jake… I have never felt this full… ever! Ugh!"

I scream, "Ride me baby. You really know how to work a guy over thoroughly, don't ya?. FUCK!"

After we ride the length of our orgasms out, she collapses on my chest and rolls over next to me and lands perfectly in my arms. I wasn't sure how I would feel afterwards, but so far I feel perfectly content. I hold her in my arms because we just shared something amazing and I do care about her; however this is only casual… I have to make sure that we both remember to keep it casual. I don't want to confuse myself and I definitely don't want to hurt her. Do I even know how to do casual? I have to! I really have no choice in the matter because my heart belongs to someone else; I'm still in love with Bella and I haven't accepted that it's over between us yet.

I push the thought from my head and whisper, "You are amazing Leah."

I feel her smile against my chest as she says, "You're amazing too… Bella has no clue what she is giving up!"

I say, "I don't want to talk about her. What I do want, is for us to do this again… soon. I don't think one night is going to be enough for me Leah. Do you think that would be possible if we keep it on the down low. I don't want it to ruin things for you, if you think that you and Sam are going to start seeing each other some."

She answers, "Oh yeah… I think that is a distinct possibility. Thanks for saying that about Sam; we'll just have to see how it goes I guess. He seems like a really nice guy… strong and serious on the outside but fun loving on the inside I think. I will just have to loosen him up a little."

I laugh and say, "Well, good luck with that one. I will say though… if anyone can get him to loosen up, it would definitely be you. I have never felt more relaxed in my entire life and trust me… it has been a while since I have felt relaxed… a month to be exact." I squeeze Leah in my arms and smile down at her.

Suddenly, Leah is breathing deeply. She has fallen asleep naked in my arms and honestly I am perfectly content sleeping here with her for the rest of the night. It smells amazing in her bedroom… the sex smell makes it hard not to keep an erection, but I focus on her breathing and fall asleep in no time.

Well, Jake and Leah found a little piece of heaven in each other!

Jake needed it and Leah wanted it; so it was good for them both.

Pretty awesome for his first romp in the hay.

Don't you think?

We know now that Jake won't be imprinting on Leah, but after that it might be hard for her to let him slip out of her fingers too quickly.

Thanks for reading!

Kind of a long summary:

In this chapter Jake runs to Leah's house. He explains to her that Bella has in fact hurt him and he wants Leah to help him forget it. He doesn't want to be a complete ass but he basically tells her that all he can offer her is casual sex. He admits that if Bella ever decides that she wants him, he would run right back to her. He says that he knows himself and he will always choose her over anyone else. He tells Leah that he wants her to be the one to help him forget because he cares about her; he didn't want to lose his virginity to some nameless woman but one way or the other Jake was going to lose it tonight.

Leah is four years older than Jake in this story; she is the same age as Paul and Embry. Leah is far from being a virgin… she has been with a lot of guys.

Leah tells him that she and Sam hit it off but that she isn't in a committed relationship with him or anyone else. She thinks that she and Sam might have something together in the future. Jake tells her that he is perfectly fine with her pursuing a relationship with Sam.

Jake loses his virginity to Leah and they have mind blowing sex. He is amazing… definitely didn't seem like a virgin, he knew exactly what to do and Leah had never been more pleased. He gave her multiple orgasms… the best she had ever had.

Jake doesn't tell her but he lets the readers know that he had been educated through the pack mind over the past month. He has been sexually frustrated the entire time.

Jake holds Leah and spends the night with her.

Thanks for reading!

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Hugs for all my wolf girls!


	24. Chapter 22 - 'The Next Day'

**FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE**

**CHAPTER TWENTY TWO**

'**The Next Morning'**

Two different men

Two different homes

Two different beds

Two different women

**JAKE'S POV**

I open my eyes and look to my left to see Leah next to me. She is lying on her stomach, completely naked with her left leg draped over my right one. The top of her head is tucked under my armpit and her breaths feel cool against my hot skin. I shake my head and smile, recalling how we got where we are right now. It was amazing!

I need to get my crap together and get home. Rachel is always so damn nosey and she is going to hit me with twenty questions the second I walk in the front door; maybe I can slip into my room before anyone gets up… doubtful, it's already after 6:30am. I really don't want her, or anyone else for that matter, to know where I spent the night. I'm not embarrassed at all, but I just don't want it to become public knowledge.

I don't want to ruin any chance Leah may have with Sam if that is what she wants; they aren't really in a relationship yet but you never know what can happen. Also, He might really be interested in her and I don't want him to kick my butt for interfering. Another reason I don't really want advertise this is because from the outside looking in, it probably looks like I just took advantage of Leah last night, but the truth is that I was completely honest with her. I gave her every opportunity to say that she didn't want this; if she had expressed that she didn't want it, I would have left and never held it against her. I care about Leah and she helped last night in more ways than I can say. To me, it ended up being more than just incredibly hot sex.

I still love Bella, obviously that hasn't changed, but I feel less needful of her in some way. Knowing that Bella chose Paul and realizing that I was able to be with Leah so easily tells me that living without Bella won't be as difficult as I thought it might be. I know that I can live through the pain and I will not die without her; it might hurt like hell but I am much stronger than I thought.

I'm going to have to talk to Leah and find out what her plans are today because I don't want Sam or anyone else in the pack to smell me on her. I can't explain why I am asking of course because she doesn't know anything about the pack. I can't just say, "Leah, you need to avoid Sam and the guys for the next couple of days because they will be able to smell me on you the minute you walk in the same room with them. We are all wolves and we have extraordinary senses." Shit! This could get really bad… really fast!

I probably should have thought things through a little better but when I went to Embry and Angela's house last night, I was not in the best frame of mind and I never thought to bring protection. In the heat of passion last night, I thought that I was doing really well to remember and stop things long enough to ask Leah if she was on birth control. I needed the comfort so badly and she looked so freaking sexy that I couldn't help myself… I went with it.

I look down into Leah's face and realize once again just how beautiful she truly is. Some lucky bastard is going to snatch her up and never let her go; he would be crazy to let her go. She was amazing last night and I know for a fact that I will never forget it; as a matter of fact, I feel certain I will be replaying it in my mind for many days and nights to come. I just have to remember to concentrate when I am in wolf form; I can not let my memories of last night slip into the pack mind.

I actually forgot all about Bella for a while last night… that has never happened to me before. At the bonfire, I thought my heart would break into a million pieces when she chose Paul over me. I suppose I should just accept this shit. Man whore Lahote wins again!

I throw the thoughts of Bella out of my mind and start rubbing the tip of my index finger across Leah's forehead; I run it down over her nose and then over her lips. She begins to wiggle around a little. I have morning wood and I would be so up for a little morning sex, but I have to put that thought away because I have more important things that I need to focus on right now.

"Jake?" Leah asked.

I smile and say, "Hi there."

Leah looks into my face and says, "Hi. Are you okay this morning? I mean… you don't regret last night, do you?"

I give her a sincere smile and say, "Of course I don't regret it Leah. I care about you and I wanted to be with you last night; that's why I'm still here. You were amazing!"

Leah looks relieved and very happy. She says, "Good. I was a little worried. I know that losing your virginity to me was not in your plans. I'm sorry about Bella… I mean, I know that I have never really liked her all that much, but I like you and I really want you to be happy Jake!"

I nod and says, "No, this is not what I thought would happen but I'm glad that it did, so don't worry about it. Okay?"

Leah nods.

I try to figure out the best way to find out what I need to know.

'Be cool Jake… start with short casual questions.' I thought.

"Leah, what are your plans today?"

Leah answers, "Well, Rachel and I actually have plans to go to Port Angeles shopping today. We will be there all day and then we are going to Bruno Mars concert. We are going to spend the night, shop tomorrow and we won't be back until tomorrow night. We will probably get in really late and I will go straight to bed. Why?"

Man, I actually had a little bit of good luck… go figure! I'm so glad to hear that she is going out of town and won't be around anyone, with the exception of Rachel, for two whole days and nights. By then she will have had several baths and my scent should be long gone. Hopefully! I realize how lucky I am that she didn't have plans with Sam today. I can't take another chance like this; I have to go to the drug store and buy some condoms while she's gone, so I don't have to worry about it the next time we are together.

I say, "That sounds like fun. I haven't really talked to Rachel in a while; I didn't even know that she was planning to go to that concert."

I pause in thought before I continue, "So, when can we see each other again?"

She smiles and I hear her heart pick up a little. I can tell that she is happy that I am asking.

"I'll call you when I get back in town… I'll call your cell and we can make plans." She said.

I nod and say, "Good. I hope you and Rachel have a really good time. Do you mind if I use your shower?"

She thinks for a second and says, "Well, why don't you use Seth's. He has more manly shower gel and stuff like that and there is probably a razor in there… he has actually started shaving recently. He is proud that he has stubble coming in; he things he's a big man now I think."

I say, "Thanks. I'll go shower in there and you can have your bathroom to yourself."

We each go and take our showers which allows me to be able to think more clearly. I think about everything that I experienced with Leah last night and I immediately become very aroused. I am fully erect now and I am fighting off the urge to relieve my sexual frustration right here in Seth's shower. My luck Sam will come over, happen to use Seth's bathroom and smell that I was in here. I do have shitty luck lately! I turn the hot water completely off and finish my shower in the cold. Shit! Straight cold water on a wolf is like pricks to the skin… lots of needle pricks. It sucks!

I get out wrap a towel around my waist and go back to Leah's room. Leah is standing in the middle of her room naked and still damp from her shower. She is bent over, going through a drawer full of what looks like, panties and bras. She pulls out a matching set… red lace. Ouch! That red against her russet colored skin… Dear God, help me now!

Leah slips on her panties and fastens her bra around her waist, maneuvers it around her waist and pulls the straps over her shoulders. She looks up and says, "You gotta go?"

I answer, "I'm afraid so. Rachel is going to hit me with twenty plus questions the minute that I walk in the house… she can be relentless."

Leah laughs and says, "Yes… I know. We have been best friends our entire lives Jake. I know exactly how she is. Just tell her that it's none of her fucking business Jake. You don't have to answer to her."

I thought about what Leah said and realized that she was right. I don't have to answer to Rachel. I just always have because I didn't have a mom to listen to. These days I feel and definitely look older, than Rachel does though; it's time for me to stop acting like the baby of the family. I realize that Leah is going to be good for me… she's tough and she will be good to help me get a new outlook on life.

I walk over to Leah and lift her in my arms and squeeze her sexy little body to me and say, "Thank you! You were perfect last night and I will never forget it! I just wanted you to know that."

I give her a kiss that I'm sure can only be described as earth shattering and I set her back on her feet. I ignore the fact that I have took her breath away and say, "Now, you call me when you and Rachel get back and we will make plans."

Leah smiles and says, "I will. Oh, and Jake, you were amazing last night too. If I didn't know you, I would have never believed that last night was your first time. Ever!"

I smile, give her a quick kiss on the nose, throw my clothes on, run downstairs and hurry out her front door; stopping only to put the salt, pepper and napkins back on Sue's kitchen table.

PAUL'S POV

I wake up the next morning and realize that Bella has rolled over and she is facing me. Her face is only inches away from mine; her lips are so close that I can feel and smell her sweet breath; they are just begging to be kissed. She is curled into a fetal position and the sheet is only covering her from the waist down; her beautiful soft, lightly tanned skin is tempting my fingertips, causing them to tremble with need. I know that she is exhausted from our recent activities, which lasted until the wee hours of the morning, so I'm certain that she needs her rest desperately. I decide it is best to put her needs before my own, so I leave her alone, hoping and praying that she will wake up soon.

I have never seen anything or anyone so beautiful in all my life and I realize that I never want to wake up apart from her again. Let me rephrase that… I have no intention of ever waking up apart from her again. I'm going to have to figure out a way for her to move in with me. I want her in my bed every night… I want this to be 'our' bed; I want this to be 'our' home. I want Bella to consider this her home; I don't even care if she wants to redecorate my entire house; I just want her here.

I am certain that Bella feels the same way but what I'm not sure about is how I'm going to make Charlie okay with this. I decide that I won't worry about it for now… Bella and I will figure it out together. I know that I'm going to have to be patient, but the fact still remains that patience is not an easy ideal for a wolf, especially when it comes to his imprint.

I wonder how differently Bella will feel when she wakes up. I'm not sure how the realization of the imprint and the marking will effect her after hours of sleep… will she have a new outlook, a clearer opinion on all that has transpired? I have never talked to Embry about how Angela was affected really, she seems extremely happy now, but I'm not sure how she had felt in the beginning. Did it take her some time to adjust? Did it take time to accept her destiny? It had surely been a major transition for her. For me, the connection is even stronger this morning, although I never would have expected that was possible.

I want to go downstairs and make her breakfast but I just can't seem to make myself get up and leave her. I decide just to stay and look at her; I continued to lay here with my face only inches from hers and breathe in her breath, gladly savoring the moment for as long as it takes for her to wake up. She has the sweetest morning breath I have ever smelled and I can't wait to kiss her the moment she opens her eyes.

As I look into Bella's face I relive the hours of love making from the night before and the actual moment the marking took place. To me it actually felt like I was on the verge of phasing right there in the house. I could feel myself shaking and blurring around the edges from the time I put her on her knees until after I flipped her over and marked her. My wolf was so present within me that the man in me barely had any control whatsoever. We are one in the same, my wolf and I, so we share the same desires but my wolf is more primal than I am.

Last night was different for me though; I was enjoying the animalistic behavior of my wolf and Bella loved it too, that was completely obvious. That last orgasm, my God I have never felt anything like that… it was like it got hung up; the intensity and longevity of it was off the charts. I noticed that for her it was the same and saying that it thrilled me could never do it justice.

In the wild wolves are very sexual creatures… they are wild and greedy with their mate. They are wild animals and they go with their instincts. However, shape shifters are men and when they imprint they are completely faithful; they would never consider or even be tempted in anyway to stray away. However, the need for sexual interaction with his mate is constant, the need is present in him practically every second of the day, and she basically shares his need. However, there are instances when that is not the case; he will be whatever she needs and if that means only friendship, that is what he will give her. It is all about her and her needs.

He longs for her to satisfy his sexual needs as well as his emotional needs, but it is just as important, if not more, that he pleases her sexually and makes her feel like she is the only woman on the face of the earth for him. The marking helps that happen.

They share DNA during the marking causing the imprint to share his heightened senses. After the marking she feels things and hears things with more intensity; her orgasms are stronger, the feeling of his touch is even more intense. She also feels her love for him more deeply and can't imagine being apart from him. She physically aches terribly if she is away from him for more than 45 minutes at a time and she prefers never to be away from him.

She can hear his heart rate increase, she senses his emotions, she knows him better than he knows himself sometimes. All of these abilities and qualities are things that she shares with her wolf now and it makes for an unbreakable bond.

The marking also claims his territory… it lets the other wolves know that she belongs to him. Other wolves could still attempt to come between a wolf and his mate but it is highly unlikely that a brother would do that once he is aware of the imprint and especially the marking. Another wolf would be taking the chance of being killed because it would be rare for a wolf to put up with that kind of betrayal under any circumstance. His imprint will always come before anyone or anything else; even his family. That is their nature and there is no changing it.

I will admit that although things became intense and my wolf and he was doing his best to make his animalistic nature apparent; my wolf had was submissive to me in a few ways. He respected the fact that Bella was a virgin and now that it's past us, I believe that my wolf and I both are going to want to become more and more greedy with her. Her being so innocent, I wasn't willing to jump in with two feet and scare the hell out of her, but now… she will become more comfortable and because of the marking she will be more receptive to the kind of sex my wolf craves.

Bella's eyes are beginning to flutter and when she finally opens them she realized that I'm looking straight into the face. She can since that she feels consumed by his gaze and she is happier than she has ever felt in her life. I pull her body against mine and hug her firmly, trying my best to show her all the emotion I have for her. I pull my face back a little and look into her eyes, before I kiss her in a way that, if she was standing she would have surely fallen to her knees. I say, "You look beautiful Bella… I love you more than I could ever express."

She says, "I love you too Paul, so much that I don't think I could exist without you. I feel so lucky that your wolf chose me."

I smile and say, "I'm glad that he did too, but don't forget that I felt something special for you the very first time that I met you when we were only children and I started falling in love with you as a person while you were in Florida. I would have loved you anyway… however, the wolf does intensify our love to an extreme that is beyond anybody's comprehension and he bonds us for life. I am so happy Bella; thank you so much for accepting all the love that I have to give you. I wanted to cook you breakfast this morning but I couldn't seem to pull myself away from you."

Bella says, "I'm glad that you didn't. I would rather wake up to your beautiful face and skip breakfast. We can cook breakfast together though, how about that?."

I reply, "That sounds good but not yet. Okay?" Bella nodded.

I hesitate and then say, "Do you want to talk about last night or how you are feeling this morning? I know that the pink haze was heavy... do you remember everything?"

Bella thought about the night before and then said, "When I woke up this morning it all seemed a little hazy to me but it is all coming back to me quickly. You were amazing Paul. I think that I am going to crave you all the time though, it could become a problem because we actually do have a normal life to live; I'm willing to go through the hunger pains though as long as I get some relief here and there."

Bella was smirking when she said that, so I laugh a little. I say, "I know what you mean and I will be more than happy to help you experience a release 'here and there'."

We both laugh at our playfulness with one another and I am completely pleased with how we talk about everything with such ease.

Suddenly, Bella's face becomes more serious and I know what she is thinking. She begins to breath a little deeper and just a little faster.

I say in a calming voice, "It's okay. I love you more than anything Vanilla Bean."

Bella reaches up to touch her neck but I stop her.

I say, "Don't touch it. It is an open wound and you don't want it to get infected. I put medicine on it last night and I will keep taking care of it until it is completely healed."

She says, "I want to see it."

I say, "Okay." She climbs out of bed and I follow her into the bathroom. She stands in front of the full length mirror and I stand behind her; our nude bodies press against each others tightly.

Bella examines the marking on her collarbone and is silent for a few minutes. She finally says, "I'm glad you did it Paul."

My anxiety completely subsides and I turn her around to face me. I look into her eyes and will her to understand everything I am feeling in that moment. Words can never convey the intense emotions that are consuming me, so he decide not to even try. I choose to trust that she understands me completely with no words spoken and she does.

I pick her up and carry her back to our bed. I make love to her so gently and so lovingly that she cries during and afterwards. She loves the idea that we can be crazed with passionate, sexual need in one moment, but in another, we can make love slowly and carefully. She thinks that Paul is amazing and she knows that she is the luckiest woman in the world.

After they made love… Bella says, "I don't want to live at my house anymore Paul. It doesn't feel like home there anymore; this is my home now… you are my home Paul. How will I even go to school? I will never be able to physically handle the separation… what are we going to do?"

I know exactly what she is saying. I say, "Don't worry about it Bella. We will figure it out, I promise!"

Bella says, "Okay Paul. I won't worry for now but we are going to have to figure something out."

I say, "We will Vanilla Bean… trust me."

We get up, take a quick shower together and make our way downstairs. I only wear my boxers and Bella wears a little tank and her skimpy lace panties. We don't want to wear any clothes when we are together…they are completely comfortable in our skin and with each other, but we are in the kitchen cooking so we opt to put on a little something. It certainly isn't as fun.

I quickly changed the last half of this chapter to Paul's POV and in present tense so if there are any boo boos I apologize. I'm going to go ahead and post!

Thanks so much for reading!


	25. Chapter 25

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

'A Sister, A Friend'

Paul and Bella went downstairs together to make breakfast… they needed some nutrition; some sustenance to help them regain their energy. They danced around the kitchen with ease. It seemed as though their movements were beautifully choreographed. In no time they had made homemade waffles with maple syrup and strawberries. They also made some turkey bacon for themselves and sat together at the bar. They laughed and cut up with one another as they ate for at least thirty minutes.

Bella said, "So, what is the plan today?"

Paul said, "Well, I thought that you might want to go visit Embry and Angela for a little while. I need to talk to Embry and I thought it would be a good chance for you and Angela to get to know one another a little more. You two were getting a little chummy on the dance floor last night I remember. You were dancing to, 'We R Who We R'… remember?"

Paul laughed and Bella hit him. She said, "Shut up, Paul!"

Paul said, "Baby, you looked amazing… I loved that you felt so comfortable. You really have some moves you know."

Bella had a cocky, yet playful smile on her face when she answered. "I think you have experienced my moves first hand Paul."

He sucked some syrup off her bottom lip and said, "Yes, I have and it makes me want more of you every time I think about it."

She said, "Well, I'm ready when you are Paul, but I think we should get ready to start our day. I'm a little sore from all of the love making we did last night and this morning though."

Paul smiled knowingly and said, "Okay, Vanilla Bean. I'll give you a little break. I know I probably worked you over good last night, huh?"

She said, "I'm not complaining… believe me! I just think a little time to recover might be good." Paul lovingly and playfully kissed her nose.

He blurted out what he was thinking. "I want you to meet my grandfather. Would you like to meet him?"

Bella smiled and said, "Of course."

Paul said, "Good! His name is Calvin Lahote. He is a businessman in Seattle. He owns the largest security company in Seattle and another one out in California. I am going to call him and tell him that I want him to meet you. You know that he expects a lot of me where my education is concerned and in return he takes care of me financially. He is good to me and I know that he will love you. He has wanted me to get in a serious, meaningful relationship for a long while now… he will be very pleased."

She said, "I would be honored to meet him."

Paul smiled and said, "Good! I'll make the call. Speaking of calls, you need to call your dad. I think that he will appreciate you keeping in close contact with him while you are here. I was thinking that you could tell him that we have plans with Embry and Angela today…maybe he will be okay with you staying over again tonight; unless you want to sleep in your own room tonight… we'll do whatever you want."

Bella said, "Do you think Charlie will be okay with it? He seems to really like you for some reason."

Paul replied, "Yes, I think he will be fine with it. He just wants you to be respectful enough to stay in touch with him, you know… keep him informed of your plans. He also just wants to know that you are safe. Just tell him what a great time you are having. He will be happy if you are happy."

She smiled and said, "I'll call him. Thanks Paul."

Paul and Bella put everything away, washed the dishes together and went upstairs to get dressed for the day. Paul looked amazing in a black long sleeve t-shirt that fit perfectly across his muscular chest and dark jeans. Bella wore her washed out American Eagle jeans with the whole in the knee and a long sleeve navy sweater that was short in the front and longer on the sides. Paul pinched her butt and told her how hot she looked before they went downstairs. She knew that when she held her arms up her stomach would show a little and seeing her belly button would drive Paul crazy; she loved to tease him. She didn't feel bad though, because she was more than willing to please after she teased. It was already 11am when they made their way back down stairs.

Bella called her dad and just as Paul said, Charlie seemed perfectly happy with her plans. He did say that he would like to see her the next day though, at least for a little while. He thought maybe they could go out for lunch, just the two of them. Bella was worried about being away from Paul but he told her that Charlie would probably want to eat at the diner since it was close to the station and he would slip into the sporting goods store next door and look around while he waited on her. He said that he would be so close that the separation wouldn't affect her at all. He told her not to worry about anything and said that they would take it one situation at a time. He promised that he would make sure that she was never away from him for too long at a time." Bella trusted him.

After Bella called Charlie, Paul called his grandfather. He told his grandfather that he had someone special he wanted him to meet. He told him that it was a girl and he was certain that she was the love of his life. He told his grandfather that it was very important to him that they meet. Paul said that he really wanted him to come over for supper on Sunday night. After they hung up Paul told Bella that Calvin seemed excited to see Paul again and was looking forward to meeting her.

Paul told Bella that his grandfather, Calvin, was half white and half Quileute. He explained that Calvin was his grandfather on his father's side. Calvins' mother had been white and his father had been full Quileute. Paul also explained that his own father, Lamar Lahote obviously isn't full Quilete because Calvin only half Quileute, but Paul's mother (Calvin's wife), Elizabeth Lahote is full Quileute.

Paul rarely spoke to either of his biological parents and would prefer to never see them again. He told Bella that his father was a drunk and very abusive, while his mother was depressed and suicidal, unable to care for herself let alone care for Paul. Bella felt terrible for Paul; she had tears in her eyes the day that Paul told her about them. Thankfully, she was in Jacksonville, so they were on the phone… Paul couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

Paul said that Sam still hadn't figured out how Paul had become a shape shifter. Sam had told him that as far as he knew there had never been a shape shifter that wasn't full Quileute from a long line of strong Quileute men of great power. He said that in Paul's family the Quileute gene must be extremely strong. Paul had always wanted to ask his grandfather to tell him more about his father (Paul's great-grandfather), but Calvin had always been very closed mouthed about their family. He didn't even talk about his son, which Paul understood. He had been a shitty father, so he understood that he had probably been a shitty son as well. Bella realized that her situation with Renee could be much worse, at least her mother did love her.

Bella encouraged Paul to talk to Calvin again about his great-grandfather. She figured there was a story to be told there and she thought that Paul had a right to hear it, whatever it was.

She asked Paul if his grandfather knew that he was a shape shifter. He said that he wasn't sure, but that he was planning to tell him eventually. Paul wasn't even sure that his grandfather knew about shape shiftering; they had never talked about the legends before. However, Paul had sensed some knowledge there when his grandfather saw the painting Paul purchased at the art show. He had calmed down about the money he had spent a little too quickly without a plausible explanation. Bella respected Paul and would support his decision; it was his choice whether to share that part of his life with his grandfather or not.

It was lunch time when they were ready to leave but neither of them were very hungry. Paul decided to grab an apple and Bella wanted a banana, so they ate them on their way to Embry and Angela's. Bella asked Paul if he thought to call Embry to let him know that they were coming and he said that he had given him a quick call while she was putting on her makeup.

Paul said, "You worried we might walk in on something and you would have to witness Embry kicking my ass?"

Bella laughed and said, "Precisely!"

They laughed but Bella was relieved because she remembered the story Paul had told her about going to their house unexpected. She did not want to walk in on or even interrupt anything.

When they got there Paul parked the car and came around to open Bella's door. He helped her out and then they walked up to the house hand in hand. Paul knocked and Embry came to the door. Embry shook Paul's hand and pulled him in to a one armed, very manly hug. It almost seemed as though he was welcoming him into some special club or something. Angela walked up behind Embry as he was giving Bella a friendly, welcoming hug. Embry stepped to the side so she and Paul could walk in and Angela greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. Bella felt as though the four of them had been friends their entire lives and she was thankful that she felt so comfortable around them.

Bella knew that Embry and Paul were the only wolves who had imprinted so far, so she felt that it was a bond that the four of them would always have. She felt fortunate that someone might understand what things were like for them because the normal person would never be able to begin to comprehend what it is like.

Embry and Angela eyed Paul and Bella closely and then smiled knowingly. Bella knew what they were thinking but it didn't bother her, because she knew that the same thing had happened to them. Paul faced Bella and picked her up in a huge hug, her feet dangling a couple feet above their floor.

Paul whispered into her hair, "I love you Vanilla Bean."

She whispered, "I love you too Paul." She knew that Paul just wanted to make sure that she was feeling comfortable and happy; when he was confident that she was, he set her back on her feet.

Paul said, "Hey Embry? Can we go outside and talk a minute? We'll give these girls some time to get to know one another."

Embry said, "Sure. Would you like a beer or some tea."

Paul said, "I'll take a beer."

Angela asked, "What about you Bella? Can I get you something to drink?"

Bella said, "Thanks. I'll take a glass of tea, if it's not too much trouble."

Angela said, "It's no trouble at all."

Embry grabbed himself and Paul a beer and Angela poured Bella and herself a glass of tea. Paul kissed Bella and told her that he would be right outside and Embry gave Angela a look that said it all.

When Paul and Embry went outside they both sat there in silence for a few minutes. Embry was giving Paul the time that he needed to get his thoughts together. Paul looked up at Embry and began…

Paul: Embry, I never realized. It is amazing… there aren't even words; I am completely overwhelmed.

Embry: I know. There is nothing like it. I can't imagine a life without Angela.

Paul: Last night was incredible. I never imagined I would ever feel like this about anyone. You know how my life has been… I thought that I was doing so well with… you know… women, but my life was nothing but an empty pit. I was barely living Embry… I don't know how…

Embry: That is your past Paul. Just be thankful that you weren't in a relationship with anyone when you imprinted on Bella. That would have been a mess! Obviously, you were never meant to be in a meaningful relationship with another woman… just find a way to be thankful for that.

Paul: I guess you're right. Bella is amazing… she is too good for me and I know it. She doesn't look at it that way… she loves me unconditionally. We fell in love while she was in Jacksonville you know. She was barely feeling any pull from the imprint then; other than a little discomfort in her stomach. I told her everything about myself Embry, every horribly embarrassing and unforgivable detail and she loved me anyway… unconditionally. Do you have any idea what that means to someone like me? No one has ever loved me like that or cared for me like that.

Embry: That is awesome Paul. I'm so happy for you man!

Embry paused. He was curious about something.

Embry: Can I ask you something personal?

Paul: Yes. Bella knows that you and I talk about some personal things; she understands. I assume that Angela will be there for Bella in the same way.

Embry nodded.

Embry: Did you mark her last night?

Paul: Yes. I felt like I was going to phase. My wolf was so present within me but it was amazing. It felt amazing to me and Bella loved every minute of it as well. She was very accepting of it; she told me this morning that she was glad that I had marked her. Her saying that meant so much to me. Her need for me is as strong as mine is for her…now I understand you and Angela's relationship. I never realized what it was like for you.

Embry: Yes. It never decreases either. The feeling stays just as strong as the day you mark her. It is not the same as a normal relationship where the newness wears off and your sexual appetite decreases. When it comes to your imprint, your sexual appetite for her never decreases… you will never stop craving each other. Your all consuming, emotional connection will never waver.

Paul: I can deal with that! I never want this feeling to subside.

Paul sat in thought…

Paul: I am concerned about a couple of things though Embry. One being Jake and the other being the fact that Bella is sixteen and I want her to move in with me. I have no idea how to make Charlie okay with that.

Embry: She is a senior, right? Even though she is three years younger than you, you used to only be two grades ahead of her. Then when she moved to Jacksonville she tested and skipped a grade… right?

Paul: Yes.

Embry: Well, it is already December… she will be graduating in six months. Charlie must be letting her spend nights with you in La Push some and you must have been secretly spending nights with her before that, since she moved back to Forks I mean.

Paul: Yes.

Embry: Well, can't you continue to do that? You can still be together, it will be a little challenging and definitely not ideal, but you can make it work for six months, can't you. After she graduates, I am sure that Charlie will allow her to move to La Push… you could go ahead and marry her if it would be easier for him. I'm sure you two will marry eventually anyway.

Paul: I don't want to sneak around for six months. I hate the thought of that. I respect Charlie and I really wish that I could figure out a better way… a way that will put Bella and I living together and being as honest with Charlie as I can be. I want my place to become our home together.

Embry: I'm not sure. I know that Charlie must really like you and trust you to allow his sixteen year old daughter to spend nights at your house.

Paul: I went to him and was completely honest about my feelings for Bella. I told him that I always wanted to have an honest relationship with him. I told him that I had fallen in love with his daughter. I told him that I knew that I had a reputation with the ladies but since I met Bella I had not been with even one woman. I told him that something happened to me on the beach when I saw Bella and although I couldn't explain it, it did change my life. I told him that I respected the hell out the fact that Bella was a virgin and that I would always take care of her and keep her safe. I asked him straight out if she could spend nights in La Push with me. He appreciated my honestly and I have no intention of losing his trust. Sneaking around would be dishonest and I am not comfortable with it. I will do it if that is the only way but I have to think of something else.

Embry: Maybe honesty is what works best with Charlie. You need to really think about it I guess and talk to Bella about it. How do you feel about marriage?

Paul: I would marry Bella anytime, anywhere but I kind of thought the 'dating' or 'pre-marriage' time in our lives would be fun… I'm not ready for kids yet, that is for sure. I also want to get my degree and so does Bella. I envisioned that marriage would be down the road for us.

Embry: I get that! Angela and I kind of feel the same way. It kind of seems like marriage begins a different stage of your life… more serious, more responsibility, careers, babies and mortgages. I'm not saying that marriage won't be amazing, because I think that it will be, but it just seems a little too early to enter that stage of our lives at nineteen or in Bella's case sixteen. When I asked Angela to marry me, we knew that it would be a long engagement and that is the way we both want it. We are completely secure in the fact that we will be together for the rest of our lives, so it really doesn't matter if the engagement is long or not.

Paul nodded and said that a solution would present itself.

Paul: About Jake… have you seen him since he ran off last night?

Embry: No. I tried to run after him but I lost his scent and I'm not sure where he went. I know that he never went home last night but that is all I'm sure of.

Paul nodded and took a couple more swallows of his beer. They began talking about Sam and Leah; evidently they talked a lot the night before and had danced very closely on the dance floor for an hour or so. Embry thought that it could be the beginning of something more serious. Sam hadn't imprinted on Leah and he never would if they understood the legends correctly… Sam had known Leah for a very long time and if he were going to imprint on her, he would have already done it. Regardless of that fact, Sam could still fall for her and he could still love her for the rest of his life, if he never imprinted on anyone. Embry thought that Leah was already taken by Sam; she had always had her eyes on him. Sam is four years older than her so up until this point he had never given her a second look.

Paul was happy for Leah, the two of them had spent some time together over the years, strictly as friends but Paul had gotten to know Leah. Leah was lonely and she needed someone special in her life; she had spent some time with her eyes on Jake but Jake had always spent all of his time with Bella. Jake was more of a challenge for her than anything else, Paul thought.

When Bella went to Jacksonville, Leah thought that it would finally happen for her and Jake, but then Thanksgiving weekend she pretty much lost sight of that possibility; then Jake phased. Paul was happy that Leah was finally finding her own happiness.

After Paul and Embry went outside Angela and Bella sat down on the couch to have a conversation…

Angela: Well, a lot has happened in your life recently I guess.

Bella grinned from ear to ear.

Bella: Yes. I guess you could say that!

Angela scooted closer to Bella and what she did surprised the hell out of Bella. She reached and pulled Bella's sweater to the side so that she could get a good look at her collar bone.

Angela: I thought so. How was it… were you scared or did you just trust what I told you before you left last night?

Bella: I trusted you and I talked to Paul about it and I trusted him.

Bella paused in thought. She wanted to ask some questions but she didn't know where to start.

Angela: I know that you have some questions… I had my fair share but I only had Embry to talk to. He was amazing but he could only answer from a wolf's prospective. An imprint's prospective is completely different.

Bella nodded.

Bella: Will it leave a scar?

Angela nodded and showed Bella the marking that Embry had placed in exactly the same spot on her collar bone. It was a scar, it wasn't an ugly scar but it was definitely proof of the marking.

Angela: Yes. It leaves a scar but I don't think it looks bad. It becomes pretty faint after some time passes.

Bella: I think that it looks perfect Angela. I'm glad that it leaves a scar… I don't ever want to forget last night and I want something to remind me of it everyday. It was the most amazing experience anyone could possibly have.

Angela: I know. Are you needful? Do you crave sex with Paul?

Bella: Yes! Pretty much all the time. Paul made love to me soft and slow this morning when I woke up… it was beautiful, but then later we both were craving it again. I told him that I was ready whenever he was but that I was pretty sore from the night before and it might be a good idea to give me a rest. It about killed me to suggest that.

Angela: I know. That feeling doesn't go away either; it doesn't lessen with time. You will always need him like that, everyday… all the time. Embry and I haven't slowed down for a second… we are crazy about each other. Where you a virgin?

Bella: Yes.

Angela: Did it hurt?

Bella: Yes, a lot but then …

The both said, "THE PINK HAZE!"

Bella: Exactly… it was amazing! I was thankful for it because it hurt more than I ever thought that it would. The pink haze calmed me and made me dizzy with need for Paul. Before the pink haze, I was so nervous and terribly afraid that he wouldn't…

Angela: fit inside you?

Bella: Exactly!

Angela: But it did and you are happy…right?

Bella: Yes. I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I am worried about something though. You and Embry are both nineteen and out of school so things are a little different for you. I am still in high school and I am only sixteen.

Angela: You are? I never would have guessed that. You are a senior… aren't you?

Bella: Yes. But I started school a year early and when I moved to Jacksonville, I was tested and they moved me up a grade; that is why I am a senior. Anyway, I don't want to live at my dad's house anymore… my home is with Paul and I want to live in his house. He wants the same thing but I don't know how we will ever convince my dad to let us live together, at my age. I still want to get my degree and so does Paul but we want to be together.

Angela: Well, why don't you look into getting your GED and signing up for online college classes for the rest of the year. You and Paul could both take classes online and you could spend all your time together. If you aren't still in high school, I think that your dad might be more willing to allow you to move in with Paul.

Bella thought for a minute and realized that she really liked Angela's suggestion.

Angela: Let's look online and figure out what you need to do, that way when you talk to your dad you will be knowledgeable about it and he will be impressed that you have really given this a lot of thought.

Angela and Bella looked it all up and Bella made a lot of notes. She couldn't wait to talk to Paul about it all. Just as Bella hugged Angela the guys walked into the house and smiled at them.

Bella said, "Thanks Angela… I really appreciate everything!"

Angela said, "No problem. This is the first day of an amazing friendship Bella."

Paul walked over to Bella and pulled her body into him. He inhaled the scent of her hair and whispered, "Are you ready to go?"

Bella said, "Yes. I'm ready. I have something I want to talk to you about."

Angela said, "We want you guys to come over for dinner tomorrow night, if you don't have plans… just the four of us. We are going to grill steaks and make baked potatoes. We thought you guys could just bring a salad."

Paul and Bella looked at one another and then Paul said, "Okay. We would love to."

Paul hugged Angela and gave Embry a slap on the back; Embry hugged Bella and Angela gave her a hug and a huge smile. They said their good-byes and left.

In no time Paul and Bella had gotten back 'home' and walked in the door. Paul scooped Bella up and kissed her passionately. He had a way of making her dizzy with a yearning that made her ache between her legs. Paul could smell her arousal and he growled softly.

He said, "Do you really want to 'talk' right now Vanilla Bean. I can think of something else that might be a great alternative… we could talk for hours afterwards if you wanted to."

Bella laughed and said, "You know that I want you Paul but I need to talk to you about this right now… it is important!"

Paul picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His arousal was unmistakable and it made her core tingle but she willed herself to ignore it for the time being.

Paul sat on the couch with her legs still wrapped around his body and said, "What's up Vanilla Bean?"

Meanwhile…

Embry decided to run for about thirty minutes… he needed to let out a little frustration that had built up over the week or so. He also wanted to see if he might run into Jake somewhere. He wouldn't leave Angela for very long at a time; but he really would like to talk to Jake. Jake was four years younger than him but he had always liked Jake. He was very happy for Paul, but he honestly hated to see Jake go through this after all the years that he and Bella had spent together. This life can be unfair sometimes!

_How do you think Paul will react to Angela's idea?_

_How do you think Charlie will react to Bella's plans?_

_Do you think Leah is setting herself up for heartbreak?_

_It would suck for Sam to imprint and leave Leah like he did in the Twilight Series. Ugh!_

_Do we like Leah enough to save her from that?_

_Maybe things with Leah and Jake will become more than just comfort through hot sex?_

_What would you like to see happen?_

_Thanks for reading!_

_Don't forget…_

_Read! Follow! Comment!_

_If you are enjoying the story… I'd love for you to favorite it!_

_Hugs for all my wolf girls!_


	26. Chapter 24 'Blackclearwater'

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

'BLACK CLEARWATER'

THIS IS STILL THE DAY AFTER THE BONFIRE:

THIS IS A SHORT INFORMATIONAL CHAPTER TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH JAKE, RACHEL AND LEAH.

Jake went home and just as he thought Rachel had twenty questions for him and Billy sat at the kitchen table looking at the paper with his left eyebrow arched and a smirk on his face. Jake could tell that his dad wasn't going to be any help whatsoever.

Rachel looked at Jake suspiciously, "Well, well, well look what the cat drug in? Where the hell have you been Jake."

Jake remembered what Leah had said, but he hated to speak to Rachel too harshly. Rachel could be a bitch, but all and all she had always been good to him.

Jake answered calmly, "All that matters Rachel is that I am back now and that I am fine. Isn't that what you were most concerned about?"

Rachel was irritated that Jake was making light of the situation. "Of course but I want to know where have you been? Who were you with? Did you spend the night with a woman Jake? You need to be careful Jacob; there are a lot of crazy girls out there."

Jake smirked about Rachel's questions, even though he knew that it would only infuriate her more. "What are all the questions about Rachel? Do you really care who I spend my time with or do you just want the dirt?"

She gave him a go to hell look before she answered. "Yes, I care. I care because I worry about you Jake. I heard that Bella and Paul are together now and I heard that when you realized how serious it was you took off and no one has seen you since. Just tell me where you went."

Jake wasn't mean but he was very matter of fact. "I'm sorry that you were worried but I'm fine Rachel. I'm not saying that Bella didn't hurt me, because she did, but I know that I will be fine. I love you Rachel, but honestly, it is none of your freaking business where I spent the night last night or who I was with. I'm a big boy and I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I'm going to my room now and that is all I want to hear about any of this."

Rachel looked like Jake had hit her in the gut. He had always given into her questions and insinuations. She was used to getting what she sought after from Jake. Jake was getting a backbone and she realized that he might be a match for her now. She stormed of to her room with a loud noise. "Ugh!"

Billy grinned from ear to ear. He was proud of his son and he knew that Jake was finally growing into a man. He hoped that someday soon he would be able to explain everything about his grandfather Ephraim Black and explain that Jake has a birthright that he needed to be made aware of. He would let Jake decide what to do with the knowledge; if anything at all.

Rachel went to Jake's door before she left and yelled, "Bye Jake. Leah and I are going to Los Angeles to the Bruno Mars concert. We are going to spend the night and shop tomorrow. We won't be back until late tomorrow night."

Jake smiled to himself knowingly and yelled back through the door. "Okay Rach. Ya'll be careful and have a good time! Who's driving?"

Rachel said, "Leah. She is waiting outside in the car. I've got to go!"

Jake said, "Okay. See you tomorrow night."

Rachel got in the car with Leah.

Leah was beaming from ear to ear. She was in a great mood and she was aware that it had everything to do with how she had spent her night; being with Jake was better than she had ever imagined it would be. She hoped that she could keep it casual, because Jake had been honest and up front with her about that being all he could offer her right now. She had to be careful not to let her emotions get caught up in how wonderful he actually was.

Rachel said, "What in the hell is that look for?"

Leah laughed and asked, "What are you talking about Rachel?"

Rachel let out a 'Hmmph' and said, "Whatever. I'm sick of people obviously hiding things from me. You just look the way you do when you get laid by a really hot guy. You get this look! Is it Sam… did you two do the dirty deed? I bet he is something in bed."

Leah laughed and said, "God Rachel… no! Sam brought me home early and I only got a peck on the cheek. He was a real gentleman. It is going to take him some time for him to come around; I think that he thinks of me as a young girl still. I guess the age difference still seems to be a little hard for him. It will probably take some convincing that it's really not an issue."

Rachel laughed and said, "Yeah. If he only knew."

Leah said, "Shut up Rachel. If I recall correctly it has been a while since you were a virgin. Remember, you and Brad Simmons in the ninth grade after the football game."

Rachel said, "Well, at least I didn't do it with a senior boy under the bleachers at the football game that year."

Leah said, "I guess you got me there. You know, we know entirely too much dirt on one another."

Rachel said, "That's right; so spill. Who was it? I know you were with someone last night."

Leah said, "I already told you that Sam dropped me off early. We didn't do anything. I only got a kiss on the cheek when he walked me to my door. I didn't go anywhere after he left. I went to bed… I swear!"

Rachel eyed her suspiciously, but decided to let it go. She thought to herself…

'_Hmmmm. Jake wouldn't tell me where he had been all night and now Leah is undoubtedly hiding something. Leah may have stayed home last night, but that doesn't mean that someone didn't come see her after Sam dropped her off. Not Jake… surely not Jake. I won't ask any more questions, but I will keep my eyes and ears open around them both; I'll figure it out! I don't know why Leah won't be honest with me about what happened last night… I have never told her dirt before and if it involves Jake, I certainly won't be ratting my little brother out. Jake and Leah? She has wanted his attention for a long time, but I just never thought that Jake would go there, mostly because of Bella. However, Bella is out of the picture now or so it seems. Leah could teach Jake a thing or two, that's for dang sure. I just can't tell yet for sure.' _

Rachel shakes her thoughts and just starts talking about where she wants to go shopping, checking into the hotel and going to the Bruno Mars concert. She was really excited about it… they both were.

Leah is both surprised and pleased that Rachel let that line of question go. However, Leah knows Rachel better than anyone and unfortunately Rachel knows her just as well. There is no doubt in Leah's mind that Rachel knows she is hiding something and she also knows that eventually Rachel will figure it out; especially if she and Jake continue to see one another privately.

Leah's phone vibrated and she looked at it…. it was Jake.

J- HEY. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL AND HAVE A SAFE TRIP. I HOPE YOU AND RACHEL HAVE FUN AT THE CONCERT. I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK.

Leah text him back quickly.

L – HEY. THANKS! WE'LL BE CAREFUL AND I PROMISE TO LET YOU KNOW WHEN WE GET IN. RACHEL IS GIVING ME THE THIRD DEGREE ABOUT WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT.

Jake text back.

J- YEAH. SHE HAD QUESTIONS FOR ME BUT I TOLD HER THAT IT WASN'T ANY OF HIS FREAKING BUSINESS AND THAT I WAS A BIG BOY.

L – GOOD! WHATEVER I SAID MADE HER DROP IT BUT I'M SURE SHE WILL FISH MORE LATER. TAKE CARE.

J – YOU TOO!

Leah didn't say anything about who she text with and Rachel didn't ask; she just eyed her suspiciously.

Jake cooked himself three eggs, grits, toast and coffee for breakfast. He finished eating, cleaned up his mess and then decided to phase and run for a while. He decided that he would run in wolf form for a while and focus on everything except what happened last night. He would go to the wooded area that he loved so much; where he took Bella once. It was his place to go and think. He had a lot to think about.

He goes to the wooded area often so he keeps a pair of cut offs hidden there which meant that he really didn't need to tie any clothes to himself this time.

He stripped down and went into his back yard and walked down to the forest's edge, he phased and ran. He decided to sing in his mind in case any of his brothers had phased; he didn't want anyone hearing his thoughts. He chose the song, 'Don't' by Ed Sheeren because if anyone heard him singing that song they would assume that he was singing about how Bella had done him wrong. Yes! Good song choice.

He ran into Embry, who obviously knew that Jake was doing everything in his power to hide his thoughts.

Embry : Hey Jake.

Jake: Hey.

Embry: You okay; I mean how are you doing?

Embry could tell that Jake was still hiding his thoughts and doing a damn good job at it. It took most wolves years to be able to have that kind of control. Embry had heard about Jake's grandfather Ephraim Black and he had to wonder if Jake was taking after him. Embry didn't know the whole story yet but he knew that the council and Billy knew everything.

Jake: Well, I'll tell you. It hurts like hell but I'm strong and I will get over this one way or another. If this is what Bella wants, I will figure out a way move on, eventually. I'm still not totally convinced yet though. The wolfy imprinting shit you know… it is clouding her judgment.

Embry: (Embry tried not to take offense since he had imprinted and he has an imprint that he adores.) Jake, you are going to have to accept this. She has made her choice and she fell in love with Paul while she was still in Jacksonville… she wasn't feeling the pull of the imprint then. Plus the fact that Paul didn't accept the full imprint until last night when she made her decision. He let it go last night after she chose and Jake…

Jake: What? What happened?

Embry: Paul marked Bella last night Jake… it has already taken place! You have no choice now, except to respect Bella's choices and you have to respect the imprint and marking Jake… it's the pack law. He has become one with her and they will be together forever. I can't sugar coat this for you Jake; I have to be honest. If you do try to interfere with Bella now that she is Paul's marked imprint, you will lose and you will be hurting more than you are now. Don't do that to yourself; just find a way to move on and find some happiness.

I hate that this hurts you Jake; I really do, but as your friend and Beta of the pack, I have to tell you like it is. It will end badly if you insist on fighting for Bella. I don't want to see you hurt any further.

Jake thought…

'_SHIT! HE FUCKING MARKED HER… ALREADY! THIS IS ALL NEW TO ME… I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY. DOES IT AFFECT HER THE SAME WAY THAT IT DOES ANGELA. I MEAN, THINGS DON'T WORK THE SAME ON BELLA USUALLY. SHE DOESN'T SEEM AFFECTED BY OUTSIDE INFLUENCES REALLY. I HAVE TO SEE HER… I NEED TO SEE IT FOR MYSELF, EVEN IF IT DOES CAUSE ME PAIN. I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HER; I REALIZED THAT BEING WITH LEAH LAST NIGHT. I KNOW THAT I CAN FIND HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE WITHOUT HER, BUT I WANT BELLA IN MY LIFE. IF IT BREAKS MY HEART. I WILL JUST HAVE TO PICK UP MY PIECES AND MEND MYSELF BACK TOGETHER… I DON'T FEEL I HAVE A CHOICE._

Jake: I can't talk about this right now Embry. I am on my way somewhere. I need to be alone in my thoughts for a while. I have a lot to consider and I have feelings that I need to decide what to do with. Just give me some space Embry. Please, respect me enough to give me that.

Embry: Okay Jake. Take care.

Jake: Thanks. I'll be around again soon.


	27. Chapter 27

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

'Lunch With Charlie'

This is a pretty wordy chapter I guess and a little serious but sometimes conversations are like that! Enjoy…

Bella sat on Paul's lap with her legs wrapped around his waist while she was getting her thoughts together. It was difficult because she was completely distracted due to the contact he was making with her aching core. It just seemed that neither of them could fully focus on anything because their need for one another was a distraction that demanded their attention.

Bella climbed off Paul's lap and sat on the couch next to him. She sat Indian style facing him so that they could really listen to one another. She tended to sit Indian style anytime she needed to think about or discuss anything serious; Paul was learning to read her signs without much effort at all. Paul sat silently and patiently, only reaching for her hand as encouragement, while he waited for her to begin

Bella began, "I talked to Angela about a lot of things today Paul. I know that she and I are going to be great friends, and I really appreciated her answering my questions and giving me advice today." Paul nodded and continued to listen intently. She continued, "I discussed some personal things concerning us with her… I hope you don't have a problem with that."

Paul said, "I am fine with it. I'm glad that you and Angela have one another to confide in. We already talked about the fact that Embry and I do the same thing, so I completely understand. They understand what it is like for us right now and it does help to talk with someone who knows first hand what we are experiencing." Bella nodded.

Bella continued, "I was talking to Angela about being so young but wanting to live with you. I told her that I had no idea how we would ever be able to convince my dad to allow me to move in with you. She had a good idea and I wanted to ask you what you thought about it."

Paul said, "What was her idea? I talked to Embry about it too, but he didn't really have any great ideas."

Bella said, "Well, Angela said that I suggested that I look into getting my GED and then signing up for online college classes Spring semester. I looked up the details on what I needed to do and I know enough to propose it to my dad. Angela said that she felt like if I wasn't in high school it would be easier for my dad to consider something like my moving to La Push. What do you think?"

Paul thought for a moment before answering. He said, "Are you sure that you want to do that Vanilla Bean? You need to think about the things that you will be missing if you choose to do that. You will never experience the normal senior year experiences like prom, grad night, senior week, school sporting events with friends, actually walking with your friends to receive your high school diploma and all the other normal high school experiences. This is your decision, but I just hope you take everything into consideration and decide that this is the best thing for you, so you won't regret it later. You know?"

Bella said, "I do know what you're saying and I have thought about all of those things; but Paul, I'm not really close to anyone in my school; especially no one in the senior class. It is really the perfect time, before I transfer back to Forks High School. Instead of transferring from Jacksonville to Forks, I can just take my GED and sign up for online college courses. They are giving a test at the community college in Port Angeles in five days. I tested not too long ago in Jacksonville and I feel certain that I won't have any problem taking this test after reading about it. I already know that I want a bachelor of Science degree, so I can begin taking my core class subjects right at once. I really think that my dad will go for this. If you think that it is a good idea; I want to talk with him about it tomorrow when we eat lunch together."

Bella paused before continuing. "I don't care anything about prom or grad night and I would much rather take a trip with you instead of with a bunch of crazy, immature seniors that I don't even really know. They aren't my 'class' anyway… they aren't the kids that I have taken classes with all my entire life, not now that I skipped a grade. Things are different now anyway, completely different… in all areas of my life. I think that this would be a good decision for me and for us; also the thought of working toward my degree is very exciting to me."

Paul said, "If this is what you really wantto do I will be completely supportive. I love the idea… I love the idea of us taking online classes and spending the rest of our time together. _If you want me to_, once you get your GED and sign up for classes, I will go have a talk with Charlie. I will have another 'man to man' talk with him and make this happen for us… being up front and honest with him seemed to work well last time."

Bella squeezed Paul's neck and thanked him for listening and supporting her.

Paul said, "Are you hungry Vanilla Bean? We never ate lunch and it is nearly 5:30 pm now.

Bella answered, "Hungry? Hmmmm. Let me think about that question. I would have to say yes and yes!"

Paul smiled and pretended like he needed an explanation. He said, "What are you talking about Vanilla Bean?"

She answered, "I am hungry for two things. One of which is food but the other is a selfish need that I have for you every second we are near one another. I am hungry for you Paul… it is as simple as that. Last one upstairs is a rotten egg!"

Paul laughed and ran behind her. He grabbed her around the waist with one arm and held her under his arm against his side. He carried her upstairs like that and threw her on the bed. He turned on the stereo in the bedroom and Justin Timberlake's, 'That Girl' came on. So much soul! Talk about a love making song… good gosh!

Paul and Bella tore each other's clothes off and in a heated passion met every need they could for one another. Paul never disappointed… he aimed to please, and he succeeded every single time. Bella fulfilled every need that Paul had as well and after her fifth release and his third, Paul was ready to hold Bella in his arms for a while before they went downstairs to eat supper.

_More descriptive Paul and Bella passion coming soon girls, not to worry!_

Bella fell asleep within seconds after they finished and Paul guessed that her needs were in this order.

1. Sex

2. Sleep

3. Food

Paul decided to let her rest so he put on his boxers and went down stairs to make supper. He grilled hamburgers and cut up lettuce and tomatoes. He sliced potatoes and made homemade French fries. He had taken the French fries out of the grease and had them laying out on a paper towel when he went outside to take the burgers off the grill. He wasn't concerned about being in his boxers because he lived on the beach and it was pretty secluded on his end… especially at night, in December.

He took the last burger off the grill and placed it on the plate when he heard a noise. He turned around and was surprised to see Jake standing there. He looked bewildered and exhausted; Paul figured he had been running for hours. No one had any idea about Leah, with the exception of Rachel's suspicions, which were just that… suspicions.

Paul said, "Hi Jake."

Jake replied, "Lahote." He paused and then asked, "Where is she?"

Paul was concerned about where their conversation may go, but he knew that it was inevitable… there had to be a discussion between them; him and Jake, and also Bella and Jake. Paul answered, "She's asleep."

They continued their conversation…

Paul sensed that Jake had found out about the marking, but he wasn't going to actually say the word out loud quite yet.

P – I'm sorry things have gone down the way that they have; I really am Jake, but the imprint was…

Paul decided to just stop… there truly wasn't anything he could say to make this any easier for Jake and more than likely hearing him try would only piss Jake off even further.

J – I don't want or need your sympathy Lahote. I have been asking myself the same question over and over. Why? I haven't gotten an answer and I don't expect to. What I do know is this… I still love Bella. I love her with all of my heart Paul; we have been best friends since we were barely old enough to walk and because of that I am going to try to respect her wishes. I'm doing the best that I can here Paul… I really hope that I can accept all of this.

I can promise you this though, if you hurt her… you will regret it! If you go back to your old ways… I WILL make you pay for it! She is the best person I know and neither of us deserves her.

P – Jake, she is my imprint. I never understood imprinting before… not really. There isn't a deeper love than the love I have for Bella. I would never, in a million years go back to my old lifestyle and I sure as hell don't need you threatening me; it doesn't scare me in the least Jake, it only pisses me off. On the other hand, I know that you are warning me for Bella's benefit, and I appreciate you doing everything you can to protect her.

You need to know that our bond is unbreakable Jake. I am going to give you fair warning now; trying to come between Bella and I is pointless. I have marked her Jake and my wolf will never tolerate an intrusion from any other man; especially another wolf. I'm glad that you are choosing to put your friendship with her ahead of your any other feelings you may have for her.

J – I can't be here any longer. Smelling Bella on your skin is too much. I honestly want to rip your throat out right now, so that has to give you a good indication about how well I am controlling my wolf.

P – I will tell Bella that you came by. You are welcome to visit Bella when I'm here, but I won't tolerate you being alone with her right now. I will never allow her to be harmed in any way, so you will have to convince me further that you can keep your wolf under control. I've heard that you are doing well controlling him; but you are still a young wolf and this is a very sensitive situation for all of us. A situation like this could cause an older wolf to lose control; I can't take a chance with Bella…. I love her too much.

J – I have heard all I can deal with for one night. Just tell Bella that I came by Lahote.

Jake phased and ran down the beach; Paul noticed that he went into the woods in the distance. Paul heard Bella walking down the stairs and he went in to meet her.

She had slipped on her panties and sheer little tank, but that was it. She ran into Paul's arms. "Thanks for cooking supper… I am famished!"

Paul kissed her gently on the lips and asked her what she wanted on her hamburger. He was afraid if he told her about Jake's visit right then, she would lose her appetite so he decided that he would let her eat most of her burger before he told her.

Paul was lost in thought while he waited for her to eat; he could only pick at his food even though five minutes earlier he had been starving. Bella asked, "What are you thinking about Paul? You are a million miles away… I can't stand you being that far away from me; even in thought." Paul kissed her nose and looked to see how much she had eaten. She had eaten everything except about one bite of her burger.

Paul began, "I have something to tell you."

Bella immediately became as nervous as he was. She said, "What is it?"

He took a deep breath and said, "Jake came by while I was outside grilling the burgers." Paul looked closely at Bella and saw her hands trembling slightly.

She said, "What did he say? I hurt him deeply Paul and I hate knowing that."

Paul said, "He was actually pretty civil Bella. He is trying his best to understand and respect your wishes. He is only human though and it is difficult for him; I'm sure the temperament of the wolf makes it even harder. He threatened me a little, but only because he wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to hurt you. I set some rules with him; I will never tolerate him not respecting the rules I set."

She asked, "What did you tell him?"

Paul answered, "I told him that he would not try to see you alone. I told him that when he felt like he could control himself he was welcome to visit us but he would not spend time alone with you until I was convinced he could control his wolf. I'm sorry Bella… I couldn't stand that and if I'm going to be completely honest with you, he is also going to have to convince me that he isn't going to pursue you."

Bella said, "I know Paul. I would never do that to you. It would be like you spending time with someone you had been with romantically. I would never be able to deal with something like that. You are it for me Paul… I chose you and I will never, ever regret that decision. I hate that Jake is hurt… I really do, but there is nothing I can do about it and I will not apologize for choosing to spend the rest of my life with you."

Paul's heart soared. They finished their supper then cleaned up afterwards.

Jake's POV

The conversation I just had with Paul pisses the hell out of me. The idea of me accepting this shit is more than I can handle right now. I thought that I could handle this and accept Bella's decision, but I have to be honest with myself; I'm not certain that I can. On one hand I know that I am strong and I don't NEED Bella to move on with my life; however on the other hand I love her and I WANT her in my life… I have always wanted that.

I make it to my house, phase back and run in to shower and change. I decide to call Leah before I get in the shower.

L - Hello?

J - Hey Leah… it's Jake.

L - I know. (She laughed.)

J - Oh yeah. I wanted to make sure that you and Rachel got there safely.

L- Yep… we made it in one piece.

J- That's good! Are you all are having a good time?

L - Yes… we shopped today, now we are getting a bite to eat and heading to the concert.

J- That sounds good.

L- We decided to go ahead and drive back home tonight after the concert though.

Jake worried for a minute. He wasn't sure if she had plans with Sam, but he was sure that to Sam, Leah would still reek of him.

J- Why did you decide to come home early?

L- Well, we shopped pretty hard this afternoon and we already spent most of our money, so there isn't really any point in shopping tomorrow too. We are just going to come home and sleep in our own beds, instead of paying money to stay in a hotel room.

J- Do you have plans tomorrow?

L- No.

J- Good. I was hoping we could see each other again. Do you think that is possible?

L- Yes! Mom is staying at Charlie's house again tonight and Seth is spending the night with his girlfriend. He isn't the young innocent thing that he once was I guess. They lost their virginity to each other a week ago and they can't seem to get enough of each other.

J - Yeah? Well, I think that I am beginning to know the feeling.

L - Really?

J - Yes, really!

L- I'll tell you what. You go on over to my house tonight and wait for me. You can spend the night and we can hang out tomorrow; that is IF you want to.

J- I would actually really like that. I need to see you. (Jake almost sounded relieved and Leah noticed.)

L - Did something happen Jake?

J - Well, I talked with Paul and it pissed me off, but I really don't want to talk about it, if it's okay with you.

L - It's cool with me. There's a key under the rock behind the porch swing. Just go in and wait on me. And Jake… I need you too.

J - Great! I'm gonna take a shower and go on over. I'll watch a movie and eat a bite while I wait for you… if that's okay?

L - It is perfectly fine. Look, Rachel is on her way out… I've got to go. See you soon!

J - I'll be there.

Jake got a shower, packed a duffle bag and walked the beach to Leah's house from his own.

After Paul and Bella ate, they decided to watch a movie together in the living room, so they turned the lights down and held each other's naked body lovingly as they watched one of Bella's favorites… 'The Lucky One' based on a Nicholas Sparks novel. By the time the movie ended Bella had already fallen asleep. Paul picked her up cradle style and carried her up to their room. He laid her in bed with him and pulled her naked body up against his. He laid his ear on her back for a minute and listened closely to the strum of her heart and within minutes he was asleep next to her.

The next morning the sunlight was shining through the edge of the blinds landing directly in Paul's eyes. Paul pulled her up against him and waited for her to wake up. When she did he said, "Good morning Vanilla Bean. It is already 10:45 am, you better call Charlie and then go get ready to meet him for lunch. Are you nervous?"

Bella said, "A little bit."

Bella grabbed her cell off the nightstand and she noticed a message from Jake.

J – I WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I CAME BY AND TALKED TO LAHOTE. I FIGURED HE MIGHT NOT BE HONEST AND TELL YOU, SO I WANTED TO TELL YOU MYSELF.

Bella said, "Here Paul… I want you to see this text. It is the first time Jake has sent me a text since I have been back."

Paul read it and began to shake; Bella laid her hand on his chest knowing that she could calm him easily. She said, "Paul, don't worry about it. I will never hide anything from you… you know that! We don't have any secrets and I plan to keep it that way."

Paul tried not to raise his voice but he couldn't help himself as he said, "I know Bella but who in the hell does Jake think he is? He better watch his step! I am not going to put up with him trying to cause problems for us. He was hoping that I didn't tell you about him coming by last night because he wanted you to get angry with me when you found out. I am not going to play games with him… he will regret starting this crap!"

Bella rubbed circles on Paul's back as she typed a message back to Jake.

B – HI JAKE. PAUL TOLD ME LAST NIGHT THAT YOU CAME BY. I AM GLAD THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO BE A GOOD FRIEND TO ME. PAUL IS GOOD TO ME JAKE AND WE DON'T KEEP SECRETS FROM ONE ANOTHER. TTYL

Bella handed her phone to Paul so that he could see the message and then when he nodded, she hit send. She decided not to make the text more than what it was in hopes that Paul would calm down and do the same.

Bella called Charlie and they made plans to meet at the diner at 12 noon. She was looking forward to seeing her dad but she was feeling a little anxious about talking to him about taking her GED. Paul reassured her that everything would be fine.

Bella wore a silky red dress with a black belt, black leggings and black boots. She looked very grown up and very pretty. She put on her makeup and straightened her long brown hair. Paul got dressed in some casual clothes but Paul could wear a trash bag and look amazing.

On the way to the car Paul told Bella how beautiful she looked. She smiled and thanked him but she was a little preoccupied because she had an array of thoughts that she was trying to organize before she saw her dad. Paul knew that Bella needed to be quiet in her thoughts so he remained silent the entire way to Forks.

When they got there Paul kissed Bella and told her that everything was going to be fine. He let her out in front of the diner and then went over to the sporting goods store to look around while she ate and visited with her dad.

Bella went in and her dad was sitting in his regular corner booth. He grinned from ear to ear the moment that he saw Bella; he thought that she looked absolutely beautiful. It entered his mind that her relationship with Paul must be good for her; her strong, healthy appearance was proof of it.

Bella said, "Hey Dad! I've missed seeing your face." She hugged him and he held her in an embrace that lasted a little longer than usual.

He replied, "I have missed you too Bells. You look amazing Bells; you look strong, healthy and very happy. I can't tell you how much that means to me. I really like Paul… he is honest and he takes good care of you. I respect the man he is becoming." Bella smiled from ear to ear.

She said, "I'm glad that you agree with my choices because I think that Paul and I are perfect for one another. You know, he puts me before himself all the time. He has never been in love before so this is all very new to him too… he is an amazing friend and I couldn't ask for a more loving or supportive boyfriend. We have never even had an argument… ever. We just talk our feelings out and make decisions together. I have witnessed other relationships before and I have never seen that before." Charlie looked a little concerned and said, "Well, having an argument is inevitable Bella. Eventually everyone has one but you just have to remember that if you love each other you can work it out and if you can't see eye to eye on something, you can love and respect each other enough to agree to disagree. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella nodded and Charlie continued, "Your mom and I weren't good role models for you. A relationship shouldn't be like what your mom and I had. Even when you have disagreements and you get frustrated with one another, there is no reason to yell and treat each other disrespectfully. I'm sorry that you had to witness that behavior."

Charlie paused in thought. "You know Bella. Sue and I are getting very close… our relationship is absolutely nothing like your mother's and mine was. She and I work through things calmly and we love each other more because we are honest about our feelings with one another. We love each other deeply, we care about one another and we respect the hell out of one another. She is an amazing woman!"

Bella smiled at the realization that her dad hadn't been lonely while she was at Paul's house. His relationship with Sue had actually been progressing while she was away. She and Paul knew that they had been with each other romantically (wolf senses), however her dad hadn't come clean with her about the progression of their relationship until now. She figured that her dad and Sue just wanted to be good role models for all of their children. While she was at Paul's house though, her dad and Sue had the entire house to themselves and she figured that they had been taking advantage of that.

Charlie said, "Bella… Sue and I have talked about marriage a little. I wanted to know how she felt about marriage now that Harry had passed away and I was pleased that she talked positively about it. She and Harry had a good marriage and she misses being married. I really think that I would like to marry her one day Bella. How would you feel about that?"

Bella hesitated long enough for Charlie to crease with worry. She was thinking about Leah being her sister. She was perfectly fine with Sue being her step mother and Seth being her step brother. Bella quickly rubbed the frown between her dad's brow. She said, "Don't worry. I would love to see you and Sue get married someday. She is a special person and she obviously makes you happy. You have told me how positive your relationship is and it make's me happy to see you in a healthy relationship with someone."

Charlie smiled but asked, "Why did you hesitate? You looked like you were really thinking hard about something before you answered me?

Bella admitted, "I was thinking about Leah being my step sister. I'm not sure how I feel about her but I love Sue and Seth."

Charlie shook his head in what seemed like understanding.

He said, "I know that Leah can seem hard on the outside but she has been through a lot with her dad dying and everything. When she is alone with Sue and I, she really softens up a lot and she is a good person. She just needs someone in her life that will make her feel worthy of happiness again. She was very close to Harry and I have tried very hard to start building a relationship with her. It is hard for her to let anyone in because she doesn't want to get close to someone, only to lose them and be hurt all over again. I think that all of that is changing though."

Bella asked, "What do you mean?"

He answered, "Well, Leah and Sam Uley got together at the bonfire you kids had. They spent hours together that night, talking and getting to know each other. They have known each other for years and Leah has always had a crush on Sam, but he is six years older than her and until now he has never really given her the time of day. When they were younger the age difference just seemed like too much for Sam I guess. She is nineteen now and Sam is twenty- five, so it is more acceptable. Anyway, she has gone to a concert with Rachel Black but she invited Sam over to the house for a dinner that Sue is planning. When Sue spoke to Leah on the phone last she seemed unusually chipper and Sue thinks that it is the idea of Sam in her life. Sue said that she sounded like a different person to her. Sue and I were talking about you and Paul, Leah and Sam, Seth and his new girlfriend and, Sue and I getting together for dinner… soon. Sue wants to make stir fry and her delicious Egg drop soup and egg rolls… they are amazing. Would you like that?"

Bella answered, "I'd love that and I am very happy for Leah. Sam seems like a good fit for Leah; Paul respects him, so I am sure that he will treat Leah the way he should."

Charlie smiled. The waitress came over and took their order. Bella ordered a chicken salad sandwich and fries while Charlie decided on the Hamburger Steak plate. The waitress seemed to be a flirty with Charlie but he didn't pay her a bit of attention, so she turned away and walked back to the kitchen. Bella thought that her dad must really be content in his relationship with Sue not to pay the pretty waitress any attention at all.

Charlie asked, "So, what's new with you besides how in love you are?" Bella smiled and said, "Well, I actually do have something I want to discuss with you." She paused and he said okay. She continued, "You know how the plan is for me to transfer from Jacksonville to Forks for the last six months of high school?" Charlie nodded. "Well, I have something else in mind dad and I would really like you to hear me out because I have been thinking about this a lot." Charlie's forehead creased again but he agreed to hear her out. "I would really like to take my GED and start taking college classes to go toward my Political Science degree now. I looked into it and they are giving a test in Port Angeles in five days and I know from my test scores before that I would have absolutely no trouble taking the test. I could get signed up for classes now and start taking them as soon as the Spring semester begins. I really want to do this dad. You know, Paul takes online courses and he is working on a degree in psychology. He is in his second year. His grandfather pays all of Paul's expenses and he makes sure that Paul has anything he needs and most of what he wants within reason. However, he is expected to keep straight A's in return. He is allowed to make the occasional B, but he is expected to bring up his average the next semester if he does. His grandfather is extremely strict with Paul about his grades; he has told Paul that he would not keep up a dead beat. He absolutely refuses to do that, family or not. Paul doesn't want to disappoint his grandfather and grades are important to Paul as well; as far as I know, Paul has never made anything below an A. He is extremely smart."

Charlie was impressed, he wasn't aware of any of the information that Bella had shared with him. He had wondered occasionally what Paul's ambitions were because he had never heard Paul talk about a job or anything.

Charlie hadn't expected Bella to ask to get her GED and begin taking college courses. He thought that maybe she wanted to move to La Push High or something, but this had never crossed Charlie's mind. He wasn't completely opposed to it, he just wanted her to think about everything she would be missing.

He asked, "What does Paul think?"

She answered, "Well, he is supportive if this is what I want to do. When I first told him about it, he did want me to consider what I would miss; he mentioned grad night, prom and senior week and walking with my classmates at graduation, but I don't care about any of those things. If I transfer pack to Fork's, I won't even be in the same class that I was in when I left to go to Jacksonville, so I won't even be graduating with the few classmates I had gotten to know well. I wasn't really that close to any of them anyway; I always spent most of my free time with Jake."

Charlie nodded. He was surprised at how casually she mentioned Jake's name… like all he had been to her was a friend all of those years.

He said, "Well Paul already encouraged you to think about the things that I was going to mention and you make some very good points Bells. You have come to me in a very grown up way about this and I appreciate that. If this is what you want I support you one hundred percent." Bella stood up, went around and squeezed his neck. She thanked him for understanding.

Charlie asked, "Have you mentioned this to your mom?"

Bella answered her dad honestly. "No. I don't even think that she would care. She is so caught up in herself and her own life with Phil that I really don't think it would matter to her. I'll tell her about it after I test and get signed up for classes, if that's okay with you."

Charlie said, "I really think you should tell her before you do it. I'm not saying that you have to ask her for permission, but I think that telling her before you do it is more responsible of you."

Bella nodded and said, "Okay dad. I will call her later today and let her know about my decision." Charlie nodded in approval.

Charlie and Bella ate their food without discussing anymore 'serious' subjects. They laughed and cut up about different things and just enjoyed their time together. After they finished eating Charlie asked, "When are you planning to come back home?"

Bella was surprised he was giving her a choice. She said, "You don't mind that I am spending so much time in La Push?"

He said, "Bella, I trust you, I trust your judgment and although Paul does have a bit of a reputation, I'm a good judge of character and I trust him. You look amazing… being with Paul definitely suits you. Do you and Paul have plans tonight?"

Bella answered, "Yes, we have plans to go to Embry and Angela's for dinner. Angela and I are beginning to be close friends and Paul and Embry are already practically brothers."

Charlie said, "Why don't you spend the night at Paul's tonight since you have plans and then come home tomorrow and spend the night at home. Paul is welcome to come over if he wants to. We will take it one day at a time Bella… okay?" Charlie hesitated just a little but decided to continue his thought, "At some point I would like to talk to Paul again about his intensions and expectations about the future."

Bella looked nervous.

Charlie said, "Don't worry Bells. I think that Paul and I have a relationship built on trust and respect. I am not completely naïve Bella. I told Paul when he came to talk to me, that I knew exactly where your relationship was headed. I just told him that I wanted him to treat you the way that your deserve and I also told him that I expected him to be responsible. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Bella nodded but didn't make a sound. Her expression and silence confirmed his suspicion about the change in their relationship.

Charlie added, "I would really like to talk to you more about this in private Bella."

Bella nodded knowingly but she didn't act bashful. She was not embarrassed about her relationship with Paul and she wanted to appear confident in her decision, no matter how uncomfortable it might be talking to Charlie about it. Bella smiled and said, "Okay dad. We'll talk tomorrow, if that's okay."

Charlie said, "That will be good Bella. I'd like to talk to you alone though. Maybe Paul could give us about a half hour alone before he comes over. I can come pick you up if you want and Paul could drive himself over."

Bella hesitated not liking the idea of being away from Paul for that long. She remembered the pain that she had the day that she was by herself for so long and she didn't want to experience even a fraction of that again. However, she knew that Paul would could come and wait in her room while they talked or wait around the block in his car. He could be close to her without being in her presence.

She said, "Okay dad. You want to pick me up after work?"

Charlie said, "Yes. I will be at Paul's at around 5:30pm."

Bella said that was good, kissed him and walked out where Paul was waiting for her. She couldn't wait to share the details of their conversation with Paul.

When she approached the car Paul stepped out of the door and came around to greet her in a warm embrace. He put his face in her hair and took in a deep breath. He whispered, "I missed you Vanilla Bean. Are you okay? You weren't in any pain were you?"

Bella smiled and said, "No. I was perfectly fine; thank you for staying so close."

Paul kissed her nose and said, "Of course."

Paul took her hand and walked her to the passenger side of the car. He opened the door and helped her in. Just as she got seated he looked up and saw Charlie coming out. They smiled at one another and Charlie walked over.

Paul shook his hand and said, "Hey Charlie. How are you?"

Charlie looked pleased to see Paul waiting for me. "Fine, fine. I'm doing even better now that I have spent some time with my girl."

Paul replied, "I'm sorry I've been occupying so much of her time."

Charlie smiled and replied, "No problem. I understand what it is like to be young and in love. It is hard to be apart." Paul shook his head and smiled.

Charlie said, "I respect you Paul and I trust you to take care of my little girl, so I don't worry while she is with you. It is perfectly fine that you two are spending your time together." Charlie thought for a minute and said, "I told Bella that I will support her getting her GED and signing up for college classes. I guess that you will both be busy with school, huh?"

Paul said, "Yes, but hopefully since we won't be commuting to a college it will give us extra time to spend with each other."

Charlie said, "Yes. Especially with her spending part of her time in La Push." Paul was surprised that Charlie said that. Charlie continued, "Paul, I would like us to sit down and have another talk soon. I have some things that I would like to discuss with you. You earned a lot of respect from me when you came to me the other day. Knowing that you are willing to talk to me honestly means a lot to me. I appreciated you respecting me enough to be up front with me concerning your relationship with my daughter. Do you think that we could talk again in the next week or so. It isn't anything urgent. We can get through Christmas first if you want. I can't believe that Christmas in Wednesday."

Paul said, "I would be happy to have another conversation and whenever you want to meet is fine with me. You just let me know."

Charlie nodded and then Paul continued, "Did Bella have a chance to tell you that she is meeting my grandfather on Sunday? I can't wait for them to meet; I know that he will love her!"

Charlie said, "We had so much to catch up on that I guess she didn't mention it but she did tell me about your grandfather and I know that she is happy that he has been so good to you."

Paul smiled and said, "Yes. He has been good to me even though my parents never have been."

Charlie said, "I'm sorry Paul. I would love to meet your grandfather someday though."

Paul smiled and said, "You probably will; maybe Christmas Eve. I think that he will be back to visit on Christmas Eve."

Charlie said, "That will be good! I am going to have to get back to work though. I have some reports that need to be looked over and I have a case that I am working on that needs attention. I guess I will be working late tonight."

Paul said, "Well, good luck with all of that. We'll see you later Charlie." Charlie nodded and turned to go to his cruiser.

Paul got in and said, "So, how did it go?"

Bella excitedly said, "It was amazing! He was so understanding and he loves you… did you know that? He really respects you for going to him the way that you did."

Paul smiled and said, "Yes, I know. He just told me that."

Paul got quiet. Bella said, "What Paul? What is it… talk to me, it makes me nervous when you get distant."

Paul placed his hand on her leg which immediately sent a shiver through her needful body. He said, "Don't worry. I was just thinking."

Bella asked what he was thinking about.

He answered, "Charlie was talking about respect…how he respected my honesty and how he appreciated the respect I had given him. It just made me realize what I already knew. I can not sneak around with you behind Charlie's back. It feels wrong being in your house when Charlie is unaware of it. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the honest foundation that I have built with Charlie. Do you get what I'm saying Vanilla Bean." Bella nodded but she didn't want to think about spending a night away from Paul.

Bella said, "Tomorrow Charlie and I are going to have a talk. When we were talking he pretty much let me know that he could tell that our relationship has reached the next level. He knows that we made love Paul; he is very observant... he reads people very well. He wants to have a talk alone with me tomorrow. He is going to pick me up from your house at 5:30pm and then he said that you could come over… he wants thirty minutes alone with me. I have a feeling that he is going to talk to me or maybe us about the time that I am spending in La Push. He suggested that I spend the night with you tonight since we have plans with Embry and Angela but to come home tomorrow. He said after that we would play it by year. I think he has thoughts on the subject so he might talk with us about it, or he said that he wanted to have a talk with you alone soon… he may wait until then to discuss that. I think Sue has been there ever since I have been at your house though and dad says that they have discussed how they feel about marriage."

Bella paused and said, "I understand what you are saying Paul… I really do but I can't stand to be away from you over night. Even if you are out in the woods so that I won't be in pain… I can't ever stand to be apart from you Paul." Bella had tears running down her face.

Paul pulled over kissed her tears away. He said, "Vanilla Bean… you know that I will figure out a way. It will be okay… I won't leave you alone. Tomorrow night I'll stay late and then I will ask Charlie if he minds my sleeping on the couch. I'll come up to your room for a little while (if he knows that we are sexually active he will expect me to do that anyway), but I will go back down stairs to sleep once you fall asleep. That is a lot better than me being in your bedroom when he isn't even aware that I am in the house. I just can't sneak around behind his back when I claim to have an honest relationship with him."

Paul sat in thought before continuing, "Bella, it honestly wouldn't bother me if Charlie caught me in your room when I was spending the night downstairs. I don't even think that he would get mad at me. He knows that we are young and in love; he knows that we want to be together. He let's you stay at my house and he knows that we sleep together while you are there. It's just that to him I am sure it feels wrong to condone his sixteen year old daughter sleeping with her boyfriend under his own roof. I completely understand!"

Tonight you will sleep in La Push and we will go to Embry and Angela's house for supper. Tomorrow night we will go to Forks and I feel certain that Charlie will let me sleep on the couch. The next night you will spend the night in La Push because my grandfather is coming and then Monday night…" Bella interrupted.

"Soon Sue and Dad are having me, you, Sam, Leah, Seth and his new girlfriend over for supper so I guess we will be back at my house unless we suggest going back to La Push. That would allow Sue to spend time with Charlie." Bella said.

Paul replied, "We will figure it out. I think that I am going to have that talk with Charlie before Christmas which is on Wednesday… I might see if I can meet with him on Tuesday afternoon."

Bella nodded. Paul added, "It will all work out… you'll see. Let's go to the grocery store. We probably need to get what we need to make the salad for tonight." Bella said, "Good idea." Paul kissed her on the nose and they were off.

What do you think about Bella and Angela's friendship?

Do you think that Jake is going to try to start

problems for Paul and Bella?

What do you think Paul plans to suggest when he meets will Charlie?

Let me know what you think?

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs for all my wolf girls!


	28. Chapter 28

A/N:

Just a note of encouragement…

I really appreciate the feedback and support you have given me while writing this story. I haven't heard very much from the P/B supporters out there lately… I had to ask myself what happened. If you have been reading the reviews over the past month you can probably guess why the reviews have decreased so drastically… approximately 75% in more recent chapters. Some of you voiced, through reviews and private messages to me, how it felt to be called out publicly because of your opinions over the past month; while other followers avoid reviewing to prevent the same thing from happening to them. I am watching the current comments as they come in now, so if they get too personal or if I feel they are harsh toward another reviewer… I won't accept them. Reading is supposed to be fun and disagreeing can even be fun and interesting sometimes… when it isn't insulting.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you can't voice your opinions. Don't give another reviewer, someone you don't even know, that kind of power. Everyone… whether you are J/B, P/B or Switzerland is permitted to have your own opinions and I would love to hear yours. It is fun for everyone and encouraging to me when you leave comments, so I hope this helps you in some way.

I want to hear from Team Jake, Team Paul and even from Team SWITZERLAND.

Happy Reading!

- majorfaith

PS

If you still choose not to review; I understand and respect your decision. I'm just glad that you are still reading. I know you are out there, so that will be enough for me. Enjoy the story!

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

'Fun with Friends'

After lunch with Charlie, Paul and Bella ran to the grocery store to buy the things they needed to make a salad to take to Embry and Angela's house. When they got back to Paul's house, they began unpacking everything and putting it away. Paul smiled when he realized that Bella, without even realizing what she was doing, was organizing his kitchen to suit herself… he liked it, a lot.

They bought a little more than they expected to, but that is the way grocery shopping goes. Paul loved it because before Bella came into his life he bought milk, eggs, bread, peanut butter, jelly, cereal, sandwich meat, pot pies and occasionally something else but you never found fruit or vegetables, and rarely anything to cook an actual meal, although he did enjoy cooking. It just wasn't a lot of fun to cook for one and he never cared enough about any other girls to spend any time with them, let alone cook for them.

Paul loved Bella being there and he hated the idea of spending a couple nights here, then a night at her house, then back here again, but for now they would do what they had to until next week when he talked to Charlie and hopefully settle everything with him. He would go ahead and marry Bella today, if that is what it took but like Embry, he would prefer to enjoy this part of their lives before they took that next step together. He knew that he would be with her until the day he died, so whatever it took he was willing to make them living together a reality. He needed her with him and he couldn't settle for less.

Once they got the groceries put up they began working together to make the salad. Paul washed the cucumber, radishes and carrots while Bella tore the romaine lettuce apart then began cutting the tomatoes into wedges. Paul had just started slicing the cucumbers when he looked out into the open room where his corner desk, shelf and computer were in the corner of the room.

He looked over at Bella and said, "I want to rearrange the office area and make it an office for two. I was thinking that we could go buy a new desk, another shelf and a lap top for you tomorrow morning. You need your own space to do your school work. It is so important to be organized, it will show in your grades and in your stress level. I know that you don't have a lap top, so you'll need one. I'm so proud of you and I would really like to do this for you Bella. Would that be okay with you?"

Bella couldn't believe that Paul was offering to do that; he sincerely wanted to do this for her and it made her love him even more… if that were possible. She answered, "Paul… that is so sweet of you. I really don't deserve you Paul."

Paul answered, "Now that is not true. I don't deserve you; I am the luckiest man in the world and I can promise you that I will never forget it or take it for granted. So, you'll let me do this for you?"

Bella replied, "Of course! Yes! Thank you."

Bella hugged his neck and he lifted her causing her to immediately wrap her legs around his waist. The need was there but they knew that they needed to finish the task at hand so that they could get over to Embry and Angela's house.

Paul said, "Do you want to go upstairs Vanilla Bean?"

Bella smiled and said, "Yes! Of course I want to go upstairs, but do you think we have time?"

Paul answered, "Not really… if we want to be on time that is. I guess it would be rude to be late…huh?"

Bella stuck her bottom lip out and said, "Yes."

Bella kissed Paul's full lips and playfully tugged at his bottom lip as she growled. "Later Paul… we will finish this later, I promise!"

Paul kissed her neck and pulled the collar of her dress back so that he could look at her marking. It was healing nicely and he was pleased.

He said, "Let's put a little more anti-biotic ointment on your marking before we go."

Bella nodded and said, "Okay."

They finished the salad, covered it and put it in the fridge. They ran upstairs to the bathroom and Paul set Bella up on the counter. She opened her legs so that Paul could stand between them. He looked into her eyes as he began unbuttoning all the tiny buttons down the front of her dress and let the dress fall around her waist. She had a black push up bra on and he thought she looked beautiful. He reached around her back and unhooked the bra and let it fall. She laid her head back and closed her eyes allowing Paul to touch her the way that he wanted to. Paul could smell her arousal and in seconds he had a full erection.

Paul had her breasts in his hands and soon the tingling in her core caused her to moan involuntarily. He whispered, "You are so incredibly sexy Bella… tonight all I am going to be able to think about are your breasts… it is going to kill me all night. I will not be able to keep my hands off of you either… I don't care if Embry and Angela do notice."

Bella smiled and said, "I feel the same way Paul; I wish we had time…"

Paul had gotten her so worked up that she could have had an orgasm if the wind blew. Paul picked Bella up and let her dress fall from her waist and all she had on was her panties. He lifted her to his waist and she wrapped her legs around his back. He was still wearing his jeans but he positioned her so that her core was pressed against his erection. He rubbed her nipples and she began moving against him and with thirty seconds she had an orgasm. Paul smelled her sweet scent and knew that it was going to be a very long night for him.

When Bella began to relax she met Paul's lips and heavily breathed into his mouth, "Oh Paul. I can't believe that I came like that."

Paul smiled and said, "You are amazing Bella; I love you."

Paul said, "Here let me doctor you up." He set Bella back on the counter and moved her soft hair off of her shoulder. He washed his hands and then gently put the ointment on her marking.

She looked into his eyes and whispered, "Thank you Paul for always taking care of me."

Paul smiled and said, "It is my favorite thing in the world. I will always take care of you. Do you need help with anything else?"

Bella said, "No. I'm just going to get dressed."

Paul said, "Shame." Bella laughed.

Paul walked out to change his shirt. He was dressed pretty casual and he wanted to look a little nicer. He put on a black t-shirt with a deep purple button up shirt over it. He rolled the sleeves up and he put on his black jeans. Bella thought that he looked dark, dangerous and incredibly sexy.

He said, "Ready, Vanilla Bean?" Bella told him yes and he followed her down stairs to the kitchen. Paul got a big box and they filled it with the salad, three dressings, croutons, bacon bits and a bottle of wine. Paul also got a six pack of beer that he was taking to share with Embry.

Paul and Embry could drink all night long and never get more than a slight buzz; their body heat burned it as fast as they drank it, but they loved the taste. Angela and Bella were another story, so Paul and Embry would have to watch the them… none of them were twenty – one yet so if they were going to drink they had to at least be responsible about it.

Paul carried everything to the car while Bella went through the house and turned the lights on. Soon, they were on their way.

When they got to Embry and Angela's house Paul grabbed the box and the six pack; he followed Bella to the door. Angela opened the door before Bella even knocked. She opened the door and pulled Bella in for a hug; Embry was behind her and bent over to give Bella a quick, friendly kiss on the cheek. Angela hugged Paul and he received a firm pat on the back from Embry. Bella loved that the four of them were becoming so close. Angela squealed, "Come in! Come in!" Angela had been beside herself all day; she had been looking forward to this visit ever since yesterday.

Embry said, "Come on Paul… come keep me company while I cook the steaks."

Paul pulled Bella into his embrace and held her low on the hips. He whispered, "You feel incredible in my hands Bella. You drive me completely crazy. Do you know that?"

Bella nodded and smiled into Paul's chest. He firmly squeezed her hips before he turned to follow Embry. She could feel how difficult it was for Paul to walk away from her and her emotions mirrored his.

When Paul and Embry reached the grill, Embry started laughing. Paul smiled from ear to ear and said, "Shut the hell up Embry. You are exactly the same… you and Angela are exactly like us and you know it."

Embry said, "Yes, I know but it is weird to witness it from this end." Embry paused in thought wondering if he should say what he was thinking.

Paul asked. "What?"

Embry said, "I swear you are going to kill me Paul. I am hot for Angela all of the time but when you and Bella are around it is twenty times worse. Bella's pheromones are strong and when she is around it makes me want to jump Angela every second. The young guys act like Bella's in heat or something. The other night I had to send the horny little virgins running for a while because they wouldn't leave her alone. Bella was probably wondering what in the hell they were going on about. It's the pheromones. I'm telling you man between her and Angela, I am going to combust. It's almost like the girls bodies mirror each other… they react to one another although they are completely oblivious to it."

Paul laughed and said, "Yes, I have noticed. God… I need Bella ALL THE TIME. When we are alone we can't stand to even wear clothes… we have to be able to touch and feel each other. If I weren't a sane man, I would find all of her clothes and burn them. I love feeling this way but in another way it makes me feel like a sex addict or something. It's not like that though… I just love her so damn much that I need to show her in everyway that I can. I love her so much that I could eat her up. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much I need her sexually, but this is nothing like my past… I have never been in love before… and I never realized how intense imprinting makes everything." Paul paused in thought for a minute before continuing, "I…"

Embry encouraged him to continue. "You what? You know that anything you tell me I will keep confident."

Paul nodded and continued, "I hold back… I mean, she knows how much I want her… I never hide that and we make love all the time and it is amazing. It's just that…"

Embry finished his thought. "You are careful… you want to treat her delicately because she is so new to all of this, so you hold back. Right?"

Paul nodded.

Embry said, "I did the same thing. Angela wasn't a virgin… she had been with one other person before I imprinted on her."

Paul's forehead creased with concern.

Embry continued, "I don't like thinking about it, but it happened that way and the past can't be changed. She was still very naïve though and she hardly knew anything about sex. I liked that because in most ways I was her first. Anyway, I was careful at first because I loved her and I wanted to always be respectful of her. I even held my wolf back to a certain extent the night that I marked her, which I'm sure you did as well. There were things that he wanted from her that I just would not allow. I realize now though that she enjoys the same things that I do… Angela doesn't want me to hold back so you should try to be yourself with Bella… you shouldn't deprive her. When she needs it slow… be gentle and careful with her, but when you are both hot and needful… show her what you have to give her. I'm not saying go full forces and scare the hell out of her or anything, but don't hold back the intensity… she needs to know how much passion you have for her. She is your imprint… she is yours and you belong to her… she will be happy if you are. If you do this you will both be more satisfied and you won't be craving each other so desperately all the time. I mean you will still want her everyday… multiple times, but you will be able to focus on more than just your sexual need and so will she. You will be more satisfied after sex… like you have eaten a full meal instead of a snack. You know?"

Embry said, "You don't have to explain how you feel to me! I know exactly what you are talking about."

Paul added, "It's worse tonight though because we wanted to have sex but we ran out of time. I helped please her before we left but I still had a hard on when we were walking out the door. I hope I can make it through the evening."

Embry said, "Well, Angela has really been looking forward to ya'll coming over tonight so don't cut the night short, she will be so disappointed if you do. Sneak off for a little while if you have to; we don't mind… I am sure that Angela and I can find something to do to pass the time." They laughed.

Paul became serious suddenly. He said, "Jake came by last night when I was grilling burgers for Bella and I. Bella was asleep."

Embry looked surprised. "Really? Did you tell Bella?"

Paul said, "Of course I told her."

Embry asked, "Well, what was said?"

Paul told Embry about their conversation. Jake's threats… Paul's warnings… How Jake was trying to respect Bella's choices because of their childhood friendship and his love for her. Paul also told Embry about the text and how he felt Jake sent the text hoping to cause a problem between he and Bella. Embry agreed that Jake was probably hoping to cause a problem but that it sounded like Bella nipped it in the bud with her response.

Embry told Paul about accidentally meeting up with Jake in the woods. He told him about their conversation, including the fact that he let Jake know that Paul had marked Bella. Paul told Embry that he and Jake had discussed that briefly. They both agreed that Jake was doing a phenomenal job controlling his wolf and keeping his thoughts to himself. Neither of them had ever seen another wolf have that kind of control, especially under these kinds of circumstances. Sam had control over his thoughts as Alpha and after a wolf imprints his control becomes better so Paul and Embry both are able to hide things that they want to keep private.

Paul told Embry about Bella's lunch with Charlie and he told him how he thought things were going with that. Paul was excited that Charlie had been supportive of Bella when she told him about her plans and he was glad that Paul thought that things with the living arrangement would eventually work out.

By the time Paul and Embry finished talking about all the serious stuff, the steaks were ready to take off. Embry took them off the grilled and carried them inside with Paul right behind him.

When they walked in they noticed the girls sitting at the bar, with a half empty bottle of wine between them. They were laughing about some Hannah and Kaylee video they had watched on You Tube. They looked up at the guys when they walked in.

When Bella looked at Paul, the smile on her lips made it's way all the way to her eyes. Paul walked over to her and lifted her from the bar stool and sat her on top of the bar. He moved in on her and kissed her passionately right there in front of their friends; he loved the way the wine tasted on her tongue. Bella asked, "Are you hungry Paul?"

Paul growled and said, "Well, let me see… how did it go last night? Yes and Yes." He had stolen her words from the night before. (Yes for food, yes for sex) However, for Bella food came in third place in the end… after sex and sleep.

Bella laughed. "Food Paul… let's eat food! Steaks are best hot off the grill." Paul shook his head and followed her to the table.

For the next hour they ate, told jokes, the girls laughed until they cried and they drank… a lot. By the end of dinner the girls had finished the bottle of wine and had opened a bottle of coconut rum. They were mixing it with pineapple juice. Paul was surprised Bella was still standing; she was surprisingly holding her own.

The girls went into the kitchen after supper and the guys started carrying the dirty dishes in to them. The guys put all of the food away and wiped off the table before they went out on the porch to wait while they finished up the dishes. Paul and Embry could hear them laughing from the porch for at least ten minutes… because they had been drinking, everything seemed to be funny to them.

All of a sudden the guys realized that it was quiet inside the house. They looked at each other and ran inside to check on them. They weren't there… they called them but the girls never answered. The kitchen was completely clean and the lights had all been turned off.

Embry said, "Where the hell did they go?"

Paul said, "I don't know, but they wouldn't go far, neither of them would. Bella can't stand the thought of being separated and I am sure Angela feels the same way. Besides, the pain of separation is too physically unbearable to be away from us for long. They have to be around here somewhere."

The guys looked out front but they didn't see anyone.

Embry scratched his head and said, "You don't think they're on the beach do you? It isn't completely dark out, but it's getting there."

Paul answered, "Well, I wouldn't think so, but they have been drinking. We should go check."

Paul and Embry ran out the French doors and headed down the beach. They stopped and listened closely. They heard them… they were laughing in the distance but they didn't see a soul on the beach.

They ran towards the sounds of laughter. Paul felt something under his feet and looked down. It was a red dress, black leggings and boots… Bella's clothes. His heart began to race and he looked across the water. The girls were out in the ocean singing some song and laughing their heads off.

Embry said, "What in the hell?"

Paul said, "Let's just be glad that they are okay. It's our fault… they have been drinking and we should have been watching them more closely."

Embry looked down and saw Angela's clothes laying next to Bella's. He said, "You know they are skinny dipping… don't you?"

Paul had a smirk on his face and said, "Yup!" Embry laughed. Paul added, "Just keep your eyes on Angela… you got it?"

Embry said, "Please! Angela is the only girl I want to see naked, trust me! I know you feel the same way about Bella, so chill out."

Paul and Embry stripped down to nothing and ran into the ocean.

The girls started laughing and said, "We thought you would never get here. What took you guys so long?"

Paul said, "We didn't know that you left. You really shouldn't be swimming in the ocean… at night… by yourselves… especially since you have been drinking. We were so worried about you two."

Bella jumped into Paul's arms and said, "Oh Paul…you worry too much baby." Paul wished he was drunk because in that moment all he could think about was how Bella had jumped out of the water and into his arms. She didn't seem to care about the fact that Embry saw her nude. Paul did not like his brother seeing any part of Bella. Paul thought about the fact that he had absolutely no desire to look at Angela that way, and Embry had admitted earlier that he felt the same way about Bella. Paul looked over at Embry and their eyes connected; Embry silently helped Paul understand a little more about imprinting and suddenly he completely quit worrying about it and focused on Bella.

Paul laughed and said, "I've missed you baby."

Bella had her legs wrapped around Paul's waist and her bare breasts were pressed against him. He carried Bella a little further out into the water and away from Embry and Angela. He looked back and noticed that Embry and Angela were making out and wouldn't have even cared if they left and went home. It would probably be hours before they even noticed.

Paul whispered, "I love you Vanilla Bean."

Bella kissed Paul on the lips and said, "I love you too Paul. I bet you have been hot and bothered all night, haven't you. I'm sorry about that but we can take care of it now Paul. Look at Embry and Angela… they won't even notice and even if they did I wouldn't really care. They are caught up in each other… we are the last thing on their minds."

Paul began kissing Bella's neck and nibbling on her ear. The water was cool to Bella but Paul was hot, so she was plenty warm. Paul lifted Bella slightly and then slid her right on to his shaft. They both groaned as Paul penetrated Bella. Paul said, "Are you okay Bella? Does it hurt?"

Bella said, "It hurts good Paul. I am just still so tight and you are so large."

Paul whispered, "Try to relax your stomach muscles and let yourself take in my full length. Bella did as Paul suggested and she felt herself slide further down onto Paul."

Bella said, "Ugh. Dear lord Paul. You fill me so completely."

Paul whispered, "You are so tight baby; I have never experienced anything like this until you Bella."

Paul and Bella began moving rhythmically and Bella whispered. Paul, we are going to have to stop… I just realized that we can't do this."

Paul was confused, "What do you mean?"

She began to explain, "I can't take a chance that I might get pregnant… we have to use protection; you know I'm not on birth control yet; we are taking a chance now – just fooling around."

Paul said, "Don't worry Bella. I already put a condom on… I am always prepared because I never want to miss an opportunity with you baby."

With those words Bella let loose and within ten minutes they were each experiencing an amazing release.

Paul whispered, "You are fucking incredible Bella… I'm sorry to put it that way but you just are. You're amazing and I have never been happier." Paul pulled himself out of Bella and got rid of the evidence. They swam a little ways back towards the beach and Paul pulled Bella back into him. They began making out and telling each other how much they loved one another.

Paul yelled toward Embry. "Ya'll about ready?"

Embry said, "Almost."

Bella laughed and said, "We could go ahead and get out before them."

Paul nodded, thankful that Embry and Angela were preoccupied since they were getting out of the water nude. He picked Bella up in a cradle and carried her to the shore. He set her down and she stood there nude in the moonlight; all he could do was admire her beauty. He realized that she was having some trouble with her bra. Paul said, "Your body is wet. You are going to have a hard time putting your clothes on. Give them here. Paul picked Bella up again to carry her and grabbed his clothes and hers. They were both nude but neither of them cared; Paul carried Bella back to the house. Once they got back Paul got a towel and dried Bella off.

Paul asked Bella if she was sleepy and she admitted that she was exhausted. He said, "We'll just sleep here tonight. We'll sleep in the guest room and go home in the morning. Okay?"

Bella said, "That's perfectly fine with me but do you think it will be okay with Embry and Angela? Shouldn't we tell them?"

Paul said, "They won't mind at all. Embry will hear us breathing the second he and Angela walk in and he will know we are staying. Don't worry Vanilla Bean. Paul picked Bella up and carried her to the guest bath. They took a quick shower together, dried off and slipped between the sheets. Bella cuddled up to Paul, completely wrapped in his warmth; she immediately fell asleep.

About thirty minutes later Paul heard Embry and Angela come in. Embry said, "They didn't leave Angela… they are asleep in the guest room. My guess is that they went at it like rabbits and wore themselves out."

Angela laughed and said, "Embry! You are so bad."

Embry laughed and they went around making sure all of the doors and windows were locked. Paul heard Embry sweep Angela into his arms and carry her to their room. He heard the shower running for a little while and then it was completely silent. They had fallen asleep quickly. Paul focused on Bella's breathing and within minutes he joined her.

'NORTH POLE'

Back track just a little…

When Jake reached the Clearwater's house, got the key from the hide a way spot, as Leah had instructed, and unlocked the door. He went in and turned the lights on before running upstairs to put his bag in Leah's room. He came back down in search of something to eat. He ended up cooking a frozen pizza for himself, grabbed a bag of Doritos and a Dr. Pepper. He turned the downstairs lights off and locked the door before heading back upstairs to eat and watch a movie. He decided on White Chicks because he needed a good laugh to get his mind off the craziness in his life. He thought about his relationship with Leah and realized that what they had found together was more than likely what would keep him sane. It actually helped him look toward the future, which he was thankful for. However, at the same time he knew that he wasn't quite ready to give up on his chance with Bella, despite Embry's advice and Paul's warning.

He finished eating and threw his trash away. He took all of his clothes off except his navy boxer briefs and slipped between the sheets to finish watching the movie. He expected Leah would get in around 2 or 3am, but he couldn't be sure. Leah's sheets smelled like fabric softener and Leah's skin. She smelled good and inhaling her scent relaxed him in a way that he never expected. In minutes he was asleep… he didn't even make it to the end of the movie.

At 2:45am he heard Leah's car pull up and in seconds she was unlocking the door. She came upstairs and was pleased to find Jake asleep in her bed. He was actually half way awake but for some reason he decided not to let her know that. She threw her things down in the chair and began undressing down to her panties; Jake couldn't help sneaking a peek… he thought she was incredibly sexy. She slipped between the sheets and snuggled up to his hot body and he slipped his arm under her neck and spooned her. She immediately felt safe, warm and comfortable… they both fell asleep within minutes.

The next morning Jake woke up when he heard Seth downstairs. He immediately tensed up because he really didn't even want Seth to know what was going on between him and Leah. Leah woke up and said, "Don't worry. He will only be here for a half hour or so. He is taking his girlfriend to the ice skating rink in a little while. He wouldn't open my door but I locked it, so he couldn't if he wanted to; go back to sleep for a little while."

He pulled Leah to his chest and rocked her until she fell back asleep. He found it strange that he cared for Leah the way that he did; for some reason he wanted to hold her and make her feel safe. He noticed that she was like a little sponge… she had sucked his heat up and she was as warm as he was now.

Jake didn't fall asleep but he was comfortable holding Leah and listening to her breath. He placed his nose in her hair and inhaled, memorizing her scent; he knew that he would never forget it. He took the time laying there to remember that the relationship between him and Leah was supposed to remain casual. He had made it clear to her in the beginning that he couldn't offer her anymore than that right now, but he also knew that he needed her in his life right now and he suspected that she needed him in some way also or she would have never agreed to begin whatever this is with him.

(Jake hears Seth leave the house.)

Leah startled Jake out of his thoughts. "Whatcha thinking about Black? I can hear your wheels turning."

Jake tried to down play her question. "Nothing much… don't worry about it."

Leah turned over to face him and looked him square in the eyes. "I'm not worrying about it Jake, but I want to know what the concerned look on your face is about."

Jake replied, "You aren't my girlfriend Leah… I'm not really sure what we are to each other. I am just trying to keep this in prospective; I have never had a 'casual' relationship like this before."

Leah looked puzzled. "I thought this was what you wanted. Have you changed your mind?"

Jake replied honestly. "I do want this. I want to spend time with you Leah; I'm just not sure what 'this' is. I know that you being in my life right now is a really good thing. You keep me sane and I honestly don't want to lose that. My life is screwed up right now Leah; I couldn't even begin to explain everything to you. When I'm with you though, it is like all of my problems and worries are washed away for a while. I can feel myself calm down when you are with me… even your scent puts me at ease and I like that. I just don't want either of us to confuse things, so I keep trying to remind myself that we are friends… just very 'close' friends. You know?"

Leah said, "Yes… I do know. I feel better when I am with you too. I have been lonely for a long time and I find myself thinking about you often. It seemed like it took forever to drive here from Port Angeles last night. Knowing you were here waiting on me made me want to skip the concert and come home. I like being with you… you give me something to look forward to. I feel comfortable with you Jake and the sex is pretty damn hot." Leah laughed and Jake joined her.

"You're right about that Clearwater! Now, enough of this serious stuff. Come here to me… I only got a quick peek at these black lace panties."

Jake pulled the sheets and comforter off of them and threw them on the floor beside the bed. Leah got up on her knees and straddled Jake's waist. Her bare breasts were hanging over his face, begging to be touched. He reached up and put his large hand around her neck firmly and ran the palm of his hand between her breasts, over her firm abs and landed with his thumb planted on her bundle of nerves causing her to squirm beneath him.

Jake had somehow managed to remove his boxers and she was sitting with his erection beneath her. He untied her panties at the hips and pulled them from her body, throwing them on to the floor with the sheets.

He lifted her by the waist with ease and set her down on his face. He wanted to taste her the way that he had the last time they were together. She smelled and tasted so good that he had thought a lot about it ever since the first time they were together.

He licked and sucked her greedily and finely found her clit with his tongue; Leah immediately let him know that he was touching her exactly the way she needed him too.

"Yes Jake… right there!"

Jake smiled against her and continued. He reached up and began massaging her breasts and landed his thumbs on her nipples; rubbing them in perfect, scrumptious circles. Soon Leah's climax began.

"Yes baby. Tell me how it feels Leah."

Leah squeezed her thighs firmly around the sides of Jake's head as her core began to throb with need. "Oh Jake." She reached the top of her climax and Jake continued rubbing his tongue over her clit for the duration of her orgasm. "Oh God Jake. Yes. Yes. Fuck, yes!" Jake could feel her juices flowing freely into his mouth and he loved it. He held her there for another minute or two sucking and licking her clean.

Leah crawled off of Jake's face and slid down to wear she was sitting on his waist again. Jake said, "Kiss me Leah. I want you to kiss me so you can taste the sex on my tongue." Leah did as he asked and came unglued… just the thought of tasting herself on his face was a turn on.

"See I told you… you taste amazing!" He said.

Leah said, "We taste amazing!"

Jake smiled and flipped her on her back, so that he could get on top of her… he needed to be dominant for a while. He thrust himself into her and began pumping harder and harder. Thanking God that he was smart enough to wear a condom this time because he needed to be inside her. He desperately needed to release his hot semen into her while he was deep inside her; while she was firmly wrapped around his length. He didn't want to be concerned about leaving his scent inside her.

Jake said, "Hold on Leah." He flipped her to her knees and entered himself through her slick folds thrusting into her doggy style. He placed his large hands between her neck and her shoulders and every time he thrust himself in her, he pulled her into him. He roughly thrust himself into her selfishly and with zero remorse reaching around with his right hand to find her clit; he rubbed her expertly, never skipping a beat. She began to climax and soon they were riding out their orgasms together. "Fuck Leah… you are amazing!"

Jake laid over on Leah and they were both breathing heavily. Jake pulled out and walked into the bathroom to discard his condom and bring Leah back a warm washcloth. He handed it to Leah; she smiled and thanked him.

Jake said, "That will never get old… I don't think I will ever want this to end."

Leah whispered, "Jake, don't say that."

Jake gave Leah a small smile and said, "Okay Leah. Let's not talk about it. How about a shower?"

Leah answered, "Sounds good! I'll wash your back."

Leah went in first and set the water for them because she was used to adjusting the temperature. They got in and lathered themselves up; washing each other's backs in the process. They rinsed off and Jake let Leah get out first and begin drying off. Soon they were back in Leah's room getting dressed.

Once they were dressed, Jake looked over at Leah. She had her back to him and was putting something back into her dresser drawer. He reached with his left hand and grabbed the inside of her right arm and spun her toward him. She was surprised by his quick movement and was pleased when he gave her a mind blowing kiss that immediately made her go weak at the knees. Jake held her steady as she opened her eyes to look up at him.

Jake simply said, "Thanks!"

Leah nodded but didn't say a word.

Jake said, "So… what do you want to do today?"

She said, "Well, I guess we are limited if we are trying to keep our relationship on the down low. Huh?"

Jake frowned a little. He didn't want Leah to ever think that he was ashamed, but the fact was he didn't know what this was so he wasn't ready to explain it to anyone. She was thinking that she might want to go out with Sam and Jake still wasn't sure about Bella. It was complicated.

Jake said, "It's complicated to say the least. I'm not ready to answer any questions and neither of us are sure about our futures with Sam and Bella. You know?"

Leah nodded. She hated parts of this relationship with Jake, but not enough to give it up.

Leah said, "How about we go to the, 'North Pole'. It is on the other side of Port Angeles. They have tons of Christmas lights and Santa Clause. They have a pasture with reindeer and you drive golf carts through the field and you can actually feed them right out of your hand. There are about four homes decorated and open so that you can go in… each of them serves something different, like candy, hot chocolate or apple cider. It is just a really fun place to go at Christmas time."

That sounded perfect to Jake. It seemed like a place where they could have fun and be carefree; he actually got excited like he used to when he was a child at Christmas time.

Jake replied, "That sounds like a lot of fun! Let's go!"

Leah smiled and the smile actually reached her eyes… she was obviously pleased with his answer. "Great!"

They went downstairs, grabbed granola bars and orange juice, locked the door and left.

Do you like how comfortable Bella and Angela are with each other?

Paul is protective of Bella… he is serious about Bella being ONLY HIS!

Skinny dipping seemed fun…didn't you think?

Things seem confusing for Leah and Jake?

However, it seems fun for them both regardless of that fact.

The North Pole is a combination of real places

that I have visited over the years.

Super fun places for kids and adults!

Jake is hard headed so it might take a while

for him to fully realize exactly all that he deserves.

Should he fight for Bella and win the girl because he deserves her?

OR

Do we want Jake to realize that he is a BAD ASS wolf and a STONG, MASCULINE MAN who deserves more!

Do we want to see him follow Bella around like a little puppy dog or grow a set and be the man he is meant to be; a man that can have the world if he chooses to take it.

His character is becoming stronger in this story, so I have faith in him. Don't you?

Let me know what you think about the story… let your voice be heard!

Thanks for reading!

Don't forget…

Read! Follow! Favorite! Comment!

Hugs for all my wolf girls!


	29. Chapter 27 'A Weird Realization'

FULL CIRCLE OF LIFE

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

'A Weird Realization'

The next morning Bella woke up before Paul, believe it or not. Bella slipped out of bed, put Paul's purple button up shirt on and went to the guest bathroom. When she came out she decided to go get herself something to drink; her mouth felt dry from all of the drinking the night before. Her head was throbbing too and she wanted to find something to take for the pain. She felt a little weird about being nude under Paul's shirt but it seemed everyone was asleep and if they woke up they probably wouldn't realize it anyway.

She went to the refrigerator and bent over to look for something to drink. Embry walked around the corner in his boxers, completely forgetting the fact that Paul and Bella had spent the night. He noticed Bella bent over, looking in the frig, her bare backside was shining. He said, "Bella… your backside is showing!"

Bella practically jumped out of her skin and looked up to find Embry in his black boxers. Bella gasped and said, "Embry, you are in your boxers!" Bella couldn't believe Paul came out dressed like that or that he was so bold as to tell her that her backside was showing… how embarrassing!

Embry replied, "Seriously Bella? My bathing suit covers less than these boxers. Does it really bother you?"

Bella thought about it for a second and said, "Actually, no! You are becoming kind of like a brother to me Embry. I would rather you not look at my ass though."

Embry laughed and said, "I completely get what you're saying but in my defense, that was a complete and total accident… you were bent completely over looking in my refrigerator and I had forgotten that you and Paul had even spent the night."

Bella rolled her eyes and said, "Okay. Let's just forget it… please!"

Embry smirked and said, "No problem!"

Bella said, "I have a splitting headache… do you have Excedrin or Tylenol?"

Embry said, "Here… you need two aspirin and a bottle of water." He grabbed what she needed and handed it to her. He asked, "Is Paul still asleep?"

Paul came out and said, "No. I'm up!" Paul looked at Embry and said, "What in the hell are you doing out here in your boxers? You knew that Bella and I were sleeping over."

Bella noticed that Paul was a little red in the cheeks. She walked over and placed her hand on his chest. She said, "Paul… it's okay. It really isn't bothering me… I don't think of Embry like that and he doesn't think of me that way either."

She added, "Do you realize what you are wearing?" Paul looked down and realized he was walking around in his boxers too.

Angela came down the hall dragging her feet and rubbing her eyes. She was wearing a little bitty nightgown, wearing nothing under it… the gown didn't even hit her mid thigh. Bella noticed that Paul looked straight into Angela's eyes and never once seemed to notice what she was wearing.

Embry wrapped his arms around her and said, "Good morning baby doll. Are you okay?"

Angela scrunched her face up and said, "No! My head is absolutely killing me; I feel like I have been hit by a train."

Embry got Angela some Aspirin and a bottle of water just like he had for Bella. He kissed her on the nose and wrapped her around the waist.

Paul walked up to Bella and placed kisses all over her face. He whispered, "I'm sorry your head hurts so bad… if you drink the water with the aspirin, your headache should subside in just a little while. Bella nodded and sat down next to Angela.

The guys slipped on their jeans, grabbed a cup of coffee and walked out on the porch. Bella began talking to Angela…

Bella asked, "Don't you find this strange?"

Angela said, "What?"

Bella continued, "The fact that we are all walking around here barely covered up and it doesn't seem to be affecting any of us. When I see Embry it is like I walked in on my dad in his underwear… it seems like nothing. Is the imprint that strong? Like, we don't even notice each other's wolf and they don't notice another wolf's mate. It must be like the need and love for your mate is so powerful that you would never even consider showing that type of attention to another person. Strange, huh?"

Angela shrugged her shoulders and said, "I guess because being around Paul is like being around my brother."

Bella smiled and said, "I actually like that… it completely takes the stress away. We don't have to worry about something we say or do coming across the wrong way. It is just like we are family… I love that Paul imprinted on me. I love everything about it!"

Angela hugged Bella and said, "Me too! My head is already feeling better… is yours?"

Bella nodded and said, "Yes. I would have never known to take aspirin and drink water. I probably would have had a headache until noon had Paul and Embry not shared the hangover secret with me." They laughed and looked around… not seeing the boys.

Paul and Embry were coming to the same conclusions that Bella and Angela were as they talked out on the porch.

Paul said, "Knowing this makes me feel much better, but it doesn't mean that I'm comfortable with you seeing my girl half naked. We enjoy spending time with you and Angela and I like the idea that it is like being with family… I am thankful that there will never be any sexual tension between any of us, like there is with other people. You know like when another guy looks at your girlfriend in a way that he shouldn't… you get pissed off and want to beat his ass. I am glad that it will never be like that with any of us. Do you know what I mean?"

Embry said, "Yes. I do. I also agree that my eyes are the only ones that I want on Angela, regardless of how uninterested you are." Embry paused. "You know, there is this guy that shows up at almost every party Angela and I go to and he is always checking out Angela's ass or her boobs. I get so pissed off I could tear him to pieces. Angela always stops me from putting him in his place, but one of these days I am going to beat the shit out of him and he won't look at anyone else's girlfriend like that again."

Paul smiled in complete understanding as he listened to what Embry was saying; he knew exactly how he felt. There were so many times that Paul wanted to beat the hell out of Jake for the way that he looked at Bella… not to mention how he touched her and thought about her. Paul said, "I know Embry. I want to beat the shit out of Jake every time he looks at Bella but I try to consider his feelings… I know that this has been hard for him to accept. I also know that Jake and Bella have always been close friends and she doesn't want to see him hurting. I have to keep her in mind when I react to Jake.

Embry nodded but only said, "I understand."

Embry thought for a moment and then added, "I feel very protective of you and Bella. I will always help you protect Bella, and I will always have your back Paul."

Paul said, "I feel the same way about you and Angela bro." Paul added, "Bella and I need to get going. We have some shopping to do and we still need to go home and change."

Embry and Paul walked back inside. Embry smiled and said, "They need to go Angela… they have shopping to do! I want to take you to a matinee today… if you feel up to it."

Angela said, "That sounds great!"

Paul put on his t-shirt. Bella slipped on her leggings with Paul's shirt and Paul grabbed the rest of their other clothes. Embry and Angela walked them to the door and they all hugged before Paul and Bella left.

Paul and Bella didn't take a long time getting ready once the got back. Paul changed into a crisp white v-neck tee and dark jeans. Bella decided to wear a navy tee, skinny jeans and a denim jacket. Bella pulled her hair into a messy bun and put a little bit of makeup on.

She went downstairs to tell Paul that she was ready and he ran up to her, picked her up by the legs and threw her over his shoulder. He spun her in circles and smacked her butt. She yelled at him, "Ouch Paul!" Bella grabbed and pinched his butt and she started kicking and laughing wildly. It didn't phase him though; he just carried her outside, locked the door and set her in the car.

When Paul got in he looked at Bella and noticed her flush cheeks… she was still laughing and telling him that she would get him back. Paul teased and said, "I look forward to it baby."

Bella shook her head and asked, "Where to?"

He answered, "We'll go to the mall in Port Angeles first. We need to go to the Apple Store to get you a lap top. You have an IPhone, don't you?"

Bella answered, "Yes." Paul said, "Well, we should get you an Apple computer then… you'll like it much better." She added, "Thanks Paul. This is really sweet of you." Paul smiled and rubbed her leg.

They parked and Paul came around the car to open her door. He helped her out, shut her door and then leaned her against the car. He pressed his body against hers and moved his face closer to hers until they were breathing the same air. She parted her lips and they shared a passionate kiss. Bella was tingling all the way up her back and into her hair. Paul pulled away from her a little and let her stand up straight. He placed his hands low on her hips and said, "You are amazing Bella."

Bella grinned from ear to ear… Paul had a way of making her feel like a grown woman and the only woman in the world to him. The truth was that in Paul's eyes… she was.

Paul said, "You ready?" Bella nodded and they made their way to the door hand in hand. They walked casually toward the Apple Store but before they got there, right in the middle of the mall, they noticed SANTA CLAUSE and his elves set up in a snowy winter wonderland.

Bella squealed, "Look, Paul… It's Santa!"

Paul grinned and said, "Yes, it is. Do you want to go tell him what you want for Christmas?"

Bella smiled and said, "Yes!"

Paul laughed and asked, "Really?"

Bella answered, "Yes really! You're coming too, Paul."

Paul replied, "Oh no! I'm not sitting on his lap. No way!"

Bella laughed and said, "Yes, you are! I want to sit on his lap and I'm not going alone."

Paul whined, "No Vanilla Bean…" Bella grabbed Paul's hand and they went up. Paul handed the elf twenty dollars. That would include a little present, sitting on Santa's lap and a 5X7 picture.

They walked up to Santa and he said, "Ho ho ho… Merry Christmas pretty lady. Come here and sit on Santa's lap." Paul gave him a go to hell look; he hated the idea of Bella sitting on this pervert Santa's lap. Under his breath but where the Santa could hear he said, "Watch the hands Santa!" Santa looked at Paul with what seemed like a smirk.

Bella sat on his lap and put her arm around his neck. She leaned close to his ear and whispered what she wanted for Christmas. He said, "Well, now. Have you been a good girl this year?" Bella laughed and said, "Yes… I have!"

Santa said, "Good girl. Now… look at the camera." Bella, Paul and Santa looked at the camera and on three they said, "REIGNDEER". Santa gave Bella her gift, the elf gave her their picture and they were on their way.

As Paul and Bella walked away from Santa, Bella opened her little present. When she opened the box she saw a little ring with a little rhinestone on it. She said, "Look Paul. It's a diamond ring! Paul took it and placed it on her ring finger. He looked into her eyes and she looked in his but they didn't say a word." Paul wanted to see how she would react to him putting that type of a ring on her finger and she seemed perfectly comfortable… no tension or feeling of pressure whatsoever. That made Paul extremely happy, even though it was a play ring. It was the meaning behind the gesture that he wanted her reaction to.

Paul said, "Sooooo?"

Bella said, "So, what?"

Paul asked, "So, what do you want for Christmas? How am I supposed to get you what you want if you don't tell me or at least give me a hint."

Bella said, "You are already getting me a laptop Paul. You are giving me too much already!"

Paul shook his head, "No I'm not. I am getting you something that you need. You need a laptop and you need a place of your own to do your school work. It is important! Think of it as a graduation gift." Bella smiled at Paul as they walked into the Apple Store.

As Paul spoke to the Apple salesman, she was impressed by Paul's knowledge of computers. When he was finished she was all set to begin taking her classes. She hugged Paul and thanked him for everything, however he was extremely humble and only said, "I wanted to do it Vanilla Bean."

I knew that Victoria Secret was upstairs, so I told Paul that I really wanted to go in there. He got a smirk on his face and said, "No problem whatsoever… do you need help trying things on… I am completely willing to provide my services… I won't even charge you a dime. It is a good deal Vanilla Bean; I think that you should take me up on this offer. What do you think? His right eyebrow remained lifted as he waited for my response.

Bella laughed and said, "You can help me pick a few things out but I won't be trying anything on in there… I am pretty true to my size; I have never had to bring anything back. I'm afraid you will have to wait until we get home for a private showing.

Paul smiled when she said the word, 'Home.'

They got on the escalator… Bella stood on the step above Paul so she was a little taller than usual. He reached around her body and pulled her back to lay against his chest. She felt the heat radiating from his body, through his shirt. She wanted to feel his hot lips on hers even though they were out in public.

Paul sensed Bella's need and reached, pulling all of her hair over her left shoulder and he began placing soft, hot, wet kisses on the right side of her neck. After enjoying that half way up the escalator, Bella turned around in Paul's arms and looked up, begging him to bend down and meet her. He placed his lips on her forehead and then on her lips. He left his lips there for a few seconds before she parted them, letting him come in for a deeper, more passionate kiss.

They stopped and he said, "Okay, Vanilla Bean. I am going to have to stop that or I'm not going to be able to walk. It is hard to smell you, let alone touch you without thinking about your naked body against mine. I've got it bad for you Miss Swan."

Bella smiled as she stepped off the escalator.

Victoria Secret was two doors down. They walked in and there was music playing and Paul thought that it smelled amazing in there. He realized that they had walked into the area where they had a bunch of different perfumes.

Bella pointed to the left and said, "I'm going into this room; are you coming?"

Paul said, "I'll be in there in a minute. I'm going to smell some of these perfumes." Bella nodded and left him alone. Paul was glad because he and Bella had been together practically every second since she got here and he hadn't had one second to do any Christmas shopping for her.

After smelling all of the perfume, Paul found a Victoria Secret fragrance called, 'Halo'. He really liked the way that it smelled so he picked up the largest bottle and carried it around with him. He went into another room that had pajamas in it and he found a set like her favorites. They were short shorts with a little tank to match, the colors were black, white and hot pink. He picked those up to purchase as well.

He saw a bin that had so many different colors and styles of panties in it, he thought it might be hard to choose but he choose a back lace thong and a light pink pair of sheer panties; he decided to get those also.

He went to the register and said, "I would like to purchase these please. Please hurry and put them in a bag because my girlfriend is in there." He pointed to the next room. She smiled at him and flipped her blonde hair off of her shoulder.

She said, "She is a lucky girl. I wish that my boyfriend was comfortable enough in his manhood to shop for me in a store like this. I can tell by looking at you; you are relaxed in here which probably means that you are a strong, self assured man." She was smiling so big and blinking her lashes like she had something in her eyes.

Paul had plenty of girls act this way around him before so he was used to it. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for him, so he completely acted as though he was oblivious to the fact that she was coming on to him. He didn't even blink an eye; she had no effect on him at all.

Unlike Paul, Bella was affected by the girl and she did react. She had heard part of what the girl was saying to Paul before she walked up. She looked at the girl with an eyebrow raised and then grabbed Paul's hand. She said, "On second thought baby, I think that I will try these on and I do want your opinion. Do you think you could help me out?"

Paul reached down and grabbed her hips and said, "Yes! Your wish is my command Vanilla Bean. I would absolutely LOVE to!" His total focus was on Bella as they walked away hand and hand. He loved how possessive Bella had gotten when she felt the sales girl was stepping over the line, into her territory.

Bella looked over her shoulder at the girl and said, "Thank you for your help; we'll just be a little while."

She heard the girl say, "Ugh! Some girls have all the luck." Bella grinned from ear to ear on their way to the dressing room.

Bella tried them on for Paul and he loved them all and insisted that she buy them all, however he did warn her that she wouldn't be wearing them long and once they were off, they were off for the entire night. He wanted to sleep with her completely nude… every night. Bella agreed happily.

When they got to the register, Paul wouldn't let her pay for any of it. She felt that he was entirely too good to her but he wouldn't listen to any of that. He said that he had insisted that she get them all so he wanted to buy them. The girl had already bagged his previous purchase and he casually picked that bag up with her other things.

When they got out to the car Paul said, "So, I thought we would go to Ashley's furniture because that is where I got my desk. Would you be okay with matching desks? It might look better in that open room if they were the same, it would balance things out.

Bella said, "That's what I was thinking too… it sounds perfect to me."

They walked up to the desk and Paul told the man that he wanted another desk and another shelf just like the ones that he purchased the last time. They said that they could drop them off tonight around 5:00pm. We all agreed that five o'clock was a good time for the furniture to be delivered.

The next stop we made was Office Depot where we bought an office chair, papers, pens, mechanical pencils, notebooks and folders. After that stop we were on our way back to La Push.

On the way out of town Bella made a request. She said, "Paul, with everything going on, you and I never put up a Christmas tree. I really would like one. Do you have any Christmas decorations?"

Paul said, "I'm afraid not; I've never had anyone to celebrate with so I've never decorated my house."

Bella smiled and said, "Well, you have someone to celebrate with now!" She kissed his cheek and continued, "I know the most awesome place to get decorations… it is called, 'Santa's Sleigh'. Here… turn on Martin and it is down a block on the left.

Paul smiled and said, "You got it!"

They walked into the shop hand in hand. When they walked in the front door, the scent of Cinnamon Apple Cider hit them. Paul walked over and got them each a cup of hot cider while Bella began looking for decorations. Bella picked out quite a few on her own; when Paul walked back over with the cider, they decided to choose the remainder of the decorations together. They wanted to choose some that were special to both of them. Bella chose a couple for Paul… a wolf, and Silver 1st Christmas ornament; she had 'Bella loves Paul 2014' engraved on it. Paul chose a couple for Bella… an ornament with a paint pallet and paint brushes on it, he also chose a silver ball ornament with, 'Vanilla Bean' engraved on it. They also chose some light blue, white and silver balls, white and silver snowflakes and white lights to work into the tree. They decided that every year they would go to, 'Santa's Sleigh' to buy new decorations to add to their collection.

They went up to the register and Paul tried to pay as usual but Bella stopped him. She said, "No, Paul. You have spoiled me all day; I really would like to do this."

Paul said, "I don't mind baby… I love taking care of you."

She said, "I know you do but I would really like to buy our ornaments! You can buy the tree… how about that?"

Paul said, "Okay Vanilla Bean. Thank you baby." He kissed her on the cheek and carried everything out to the car.

When they walked back outside they realized that it had begun to snow. It was the first snow this year and their first snow together; they were very excited. Bella said, "I hope it snows enough to make a snowman."

Paul smiled and said, "Me too!"

Paul said, "How about we buy a tree on the way to Charlie's at the Christmas Tree farm. We can get us one and we can buy one for Charlie; maybe we can all decorate theirs with them tonight. What do you think?"

She said, "That sounds perfect! I love that idea Paul. I also like the idea that you are calling the tree at your house, 'our tree' and the one at Charlie's. 'Their tree'."

Paul kissed her on the nose and told her that it was exactly how he felt about it. Paul added, "We better get going. We need to be at your house in less than two hours and we still have to meet the guy from the furniture store and stay with them while they unload the desk and shelf."

Bella had a sad look on her face. Paul questioned her. "What Vanilla Bean? Did I say something wrong?"

Bella replied, "No, of course not; well not really." Paul became a little worried but he stayed quiet and listened. She continued, "It's just that I am your imprint and my home is with you now. You called Charlie's house, 'my house'. It just took me off guard I guess; I don't know why."

Paul said, "I'm sorry baby. You know that your home is always with me and someday very soon you won't ever have to go back to Charlie's except to visit. I promise… I'll figure it out! Okay?"

Bella replied, "Okay Paul… I trust you."

The delivery truck pulled up just as they did and it didn't take them long to unload the furniture and help up put the pieces where Paul and Bella instructed. Paul tipped them, said good-bye and they left. They made their way toward 'The Swan House'. They stopped and bought two Christmas trees on their way.

When they got there, Charlie and Sue stepped outside. Charlie said, "What do you have there?"

Paul said, "We got a tree for my house and we also got one for yours. We were hoping that we might all decorate it together tonight. What do you think?"

Sue said, "Yes! Yes! I love decorating for Christmas. I have been so busy that I haven't been able to even think about a tree. Bring it in Paul! Please!"

Paul, Bella and Charlie smiled at Sue's excitement. Paul said, "Okay Sue!"

Charlie said, "Let me help you with that Paul."

Paul replied, "That's okay Charlie… I can get it, it's not that heavy."

Charlie shook his head and said, "Okay, Paul. I'm not sure what it is about you Quileute boys. Maybe your water is different than ours here in Forks." Charlie turned adding, "I will go pull out the Christmas decorations." He disappeared and Paul took the tree in.

Before supper Paul and Bella put the lights on the tree and added garland, then all four of them put the ornaments all over the tree. All that was left was the angel. Charlie said, "You do the honors Paul… you are practically family now."

Paul looked at Bella and grinned from ear to ear. Bella knew how much what her dad had said meant to him and she loved Paul even more for it… if that were even possible.

They all had a nice dinner and then Bella said that she was going to help Sue with the dishes. Charlie and Paul went into the living room and sat down. Things were kind of awkwardly silent for a few minutes which was a little unusual for them, but they both knew that each of them had something they wanted to say.

Charlie said, "So, I would really like to have that talk soon Paul. Do you think maybe we can talk on Monday morning? Can you stop by the station?"

Paul said, "Sure, Charlie. That is a good time for me. Bella has to take her GED test Monday but not until eleven so I will have some time early that morning. I am going to drive her to Port Angeles to take the test." Charlie smiles but has a crease in his brow.

Paul said, "Don't worry Charlie. Bella is ready for the test; she isn't worried at all."

Charlie said, "I know but it just seems weird. It feels almost as if Bella is changing from a girl to an adult because she will be a college student already… even though she is sixteen. She has always been an old soul though, so I'm not really surprised that she would get involved with an older boy and settle down so easily. You are good for her though Paul… I know that and it does make me feel better knowing that you will always take care of my baby girl."

Paul smiled and said, "You are right about that. She is the most important thing in the world to me. Her happiness and her safety are my concern above anything else."

About that time Sue and Bella walked in. Sue sat in the recliner with Charlie and Bella laid on the couch with her head in Paul's lap, as Paul mindlessly rubbed her face. The four of them began watching some reruns on TV land and soon Bella had fallen asleep in Paul's lap. It was twelve o'clock at night so Paul asked Charlie if it was okay for him to carry Bella up to bed.

Charlie said, "Sure. That will be fine."

Paul carried her upstairs to her room, walked in, and shut the door behind him. He pulled her covers and sheets back and laid her down. He knew where her PJs were so he got a pair out of her dresser drawer. He undressed her and put them on her; she was dead to the world. Paul's wolf growled with need but Paul put Bella's needs before his own as usual. Besides, Charlie was waiting down stairs for Paul to return. Paul covered Bella up, kissed her plump lips and told her that he loved her.

Paul made sure the windows in her room were locked and then left the door cracked when he walked out. When he got to the bottom of the steps he saw Charlie and Sue kissing. Paul cleared his throat and before walking into the room. Paul said, "Since it is so late Charlie would you mind if I slept on your couch?" Charlie and Sue looked at one another and there was a noticeable hesitation.

Charlie said, "Sure kid. That will be fine, that way you can take Bella back to La Push in the morning instead of her driving.

Paul thanked Charlie and then observed them a little. They were kind of whispering back and forth quietly. Charlie took Sue's hand and they walked toward the door. I got to thinking about the fact that while Bella was at my house, Sue had probably been staying there.

Paul said, "Sue, it is awfully late… why don't you just stay over too; it doesn't bother me and I know that Charlie would rather know that you are safe, rather than out driving out alone so late by yourself. Charlie and Sue looked at each other and Charlie had his right eyebrow slightly lifted as if her was saying, "See, I told you it would be okay." Sue nodded at Charlie but blushed a little when she looked back toward Paul.

She said, "Thanks for saying that Paul. I really didn't want to drive home alone this late at night." Sue walked upstairs holding Charlie's hand.

Paul took his shoes, socks and shirt off and laid them on the floor. He laid on the couch and listened for Bella's breathing and heartbeat. He found comfort in it and soon fell asleep. About an hour later, Bella came downstairs in her PJs and came into the living room where Paul was. She got on her knees and began placing kisses all over his face to wake him. Paul opened his eyes and pulled her in for a needful kiss. Bella stood up and pulled his arm. Paul stood up and followed her into her room. Paul shut and locked the door behind them and when he turned around Bella had taken all of her clothes off and was sleepily rubbing her eyes.

She crawled into bed while Paul took all of his clothes off. He pulled her close to his chest and whispered to her, "Good night Vanilla Bean… I love you."

Bella mumbled, "I love you too Paul… Good night."

The next morning they woke up to the smell of bacon. Paul said, "Shit! They are already up… they are cooking. It is so unlike me to sleep so soundly. I can't believe I did this!"

Bella replied, "Well, there isn't anything we can do about it now. If my dad was terribly mad, he would have beat on the door, so he must be in an understanding mood. It is a little embarrassing but I can handle it if you can."

Bella got completely dressed and descended the stairs, however Paul's shirt, socks and shoes were still downstairs. Charlie and Sue looked up at Paul and Bella as they walked in the kitchen.

Paul said, "Um Charlie. I…"

Charlie interrupts. "Not now Paul… it's okay. We will talk about all of this in the morning." Paul shook his head and kissed Bella on the nose. He walked over and picked up his shirt, socks and shoes and put them all on before he went back to the kitchen.

Sue looked over at them sweetly and said, "Who's hungry?"

Paul and Bella said in unison, "We are." They looked at each other and smiled. They were always so surprised at how in tune they were with one another. Sue eyed them suspiciously, Paul in particular. Paul nodded toward her and she smiled knowingly. He had silently told her about the imprint.

They all sat down together and enjoyed their breakfast with absolutely no tension or awkwardness at all. Bella was happy for her dad and she knew that her dad was happy for her as well. Bella could also tell that Sue was extremely happy for Paul and almost seemed motherly to him. Bella figured that Sue would be a big help getting Charlie to give her and Paul the freedom that they needed. Sue understood exactly what was going on between them now.

After breakfast, Paul and Bella did the dishes together and gave Sue a break. Charlie had bought Sue a nice dishwasher when he bought her double ovens, so washing the dishes only took about five minutes, tops.

Bella and Paul explained to Sue and Charlie that Paul's grandfather was coming over later that afternoon and he was staying for supper. Bella admitted that she was a little nervous about meeting him and when she said that Paul began mindlessly rubbing circles on her back. Bella could feel herself calm down and smiled at Paul to silently say, 'thank you'.

Bella also told Sue and Charlie about the laptop, desk and everything else Paul had bought her to get her ready for school. Charlie tried to give Paul some money but of course he refused to take it; he told Charlie that it was his graduation gift to Bella. However, Charlie did slip Bella 200 dollars to help her pay for her GED test, the gas to Port Angeles and whatever else she might need. She kissed her dad, told him that she loved him and thanked him for being such a great dad.

Charlie reminded Paul that he would see him tomorrow morning at the station. Paul said, "I'll be there by 8 o'clock."

Charlie said, " Good!" Then turned to Bella and said, "I'm assuming that you are staying at Paul's tonight Bells… since you are going to have company tonight."

Bella nodded and said, "If that's okay."

Charlie smiled and said, "It's fine. I trust that you are safe when you are with Paul."

Before they walked out Charlie held Paul back. He said, "Don't forget what we talked about…" Paul looked at Charlie questioningly. Charlie continued, "… about being responsible, I mean."

Paul and Charlie kept eye contact for a moment. Paul realized that Charlie was certain that Bella and his relationship had progressed to the next level, just as Charlie expected that it would.

What else could Paul do? He simply nodded and said, "Yes sir." Charlie nodded back… he and Paul understood each other completely and just as always their relationship was honest and open with the exception of Charlie not knowing about wolves, vampires and imprinting. Paul knew that, at least for now, Charlie would have to remain in the dark about those facts of their lives.

Sue took the opportunity to speak to Bella. Sue said, "Bella…"

Bella replied, "Yes?"

Sue said, "Have you ever seen a gynecologist?"

Bella answered honestly, even though she hated where this was going. "No. I have never seen one."

Sue lifted her left brow and quietly said, "I think that it is time that you see one. Don't you?"

Bella said, "I guess that I should. Who should I go to?"

Sue said, "I will make you an appointment with mine… her name is Patricia Patterson. She is very sweet and gentle; she will really put you at ease. She is very smart and she is honest; she will want what is best for you and she will explain everything clearly… Leah goes to her also. I think that it is time for you to talk to her about birth control while you are there." Bella nodded but didn't say anything. Sue and Bella hugged.

The only other thing that Sue said was that she would let her know when her appointment was and that she would be happy to take her unless she'd rather Paul take her. She told Bella that it would be perfectly acceptable and encouraged by Dr. Patterson for Paul to take part in the doctor visit. She said that Paul wouldn't go in during the examination obviously, but he will be able to come into her office with you when you meet with the doctor after the examination. She told her that he would be involved in making decisions about her health and birth control, if she wanted him to. Sue explained that Paul might appreciate being involved. She also mentioned that since Dr. Patterson is a GYNOB… she might be the one delivering their babies someday.

Bella felt a little overwhelmed about the entire conversation but she thanked Sue and figured that talking to Paul about it was the only thing that would ease her anxiousness.

After Charlie and Paul's talk and Bella and Sue's, it was time for them to leave. Bella hugged her dad and she and Paul both hugged Sue. Paul shook Charlie's hand and looked at Bella, he immediately noticed the change in her mood and composure.

When they got in the car Paul said, "Look at me Vanilla Bean… what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Bella said, "Not really. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by the conversation that Sue and I just had."

He said, "What did you talk about? I wasn't listening in, I figured that you would talk to me about it if you wanted me to know."

Bella answered, "Sue talked to me about going to the gynecologist and getting on birth control. We talked about you going with me and meeting the doctor because someday she might be the one delivering our babies. It was just a little overwhelming. I guess that I am going to go though. I am scared and I would really like for you to come with me, but if you don't feel comfortable about it I understand. Sue said that she would take me if I wanted her to."

Paul smiled at Bella and it warmed her heart immediately. Paul squeezed her hand and said, "Sue loves you baby and she is trying to help; you know that right?"

Bella said, "I do know, and I appreciate it; it just caught me a little off guard."

Paul said, "Well, I really would like to go to your appointment with you. I want to be involved when it comes to your health and decisions about our future." Just as Bella thought he would, Paul had calmed her down. His words had brought on a wave of serenity that reached her very soul. He gently held Bella's chin in his fingers and turned her head to face him. He looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I also want to have babies with you some day Vanilla Bean, as many babies as you want. Do you want that too? "

Bella whispered, "Yes, Paul. I want that very much… someday."

Paul smiled from ear to ear and said, "If it makes you feel any better, your dad pretty much let me know that he is aware of the fact that our relationship has progressed to the next level and he basically reminded me that I needed to be responsible… meaning that he doesn't want me getting his little girl pregnant. He also told me that he wanted to have another, 'talk' in the morning at 8 o'clock."

Bella gasped and said, "No, Paul. That doesn't make me feel better."

Paul placed a hand on either cheek and looked into her eyes. He said, "Stop, Vanilla Bean. I want to have this talk with Charlie; I'm actually looking forward to it. Our last conversation was productive and I am sure this one will be too." Bella trusted Paul so she silently nodded. Paul smiled at her, kissed her gently on the lips and said, "Let's go home."

Bella smiled from ear to ear and said, "Yes, home."

As they drove toward La Push Paul said, "You are growing up Bella and Charlie knows that… he expects that you are going to have a mature relationship; he isn't a naïve man, and he isn't so old that he doesn't remember what young love is like; as a matter of fact, I believe he is reliving 'young love' with Sue right now." Paul smiled before he added, "Charlie likes me and he is happy that you and I are together. This is all going to be fine. They just want us to be mature since we are making adult decisions right now… that's all. Okay Vanilla Bean?"

Bella replied, "Okay Paul."

Paul and Bella have found a 'sense of family' in Embry and Angela.

How did you feel about Sue stepping into the motherly role with Bella?

Will Leah have a problem with it? OR do you think that in the future Leah and Bella could possibly be friends?

Stay tuned to see what is going on with Jake and Leah and for Paul and Bella's dinner with Paul's grandfather!

Also, Charlie and Paul's big talk is coming up…yikes!

A/N The increase in comments and PMs after the last chapter didn't go unnoticed! Thanks so much to all of you…. guests and those who signed in. You are all amazing! For you all of us Jake lovers… more soon of Jake and Leah.

Thanks for reading!

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Hugs for all my wolf girls!


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